About this user
"My wife and I were watching CNN and they were doing a story about NASA and it was that story about the woman astronaut who went crazy and tried to kill that other woman...really funny, and I guess because so many women are going into outer space, they've just allotted 10 million dollars for a study to see if there are any dangers in a woman suffering from PMS to have her menstral cycle in zero gravity. I'm like hell yeah there are dangers: in a weightless enviornment, the psycho bitches can fly." - Ron White
"Man beside me on the plane has camouflage shorts on, so it looks like his seatbelt is floating." - Bo Burnham
ARIES
You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you dont give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. Your the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.
TAURUS
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because your bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell like piss.
GEMINI
Your starsign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fucken weirdo, the type of person who would kill themself to win a bet.
CANCER
You have a business-like attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous barstard who would sell relatives limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.
LEO
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on welfare.
VIRGO
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But your prone to bullshitting and your a cheap barstard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of virgo women are whores.
LIBRA
You are the forgiving type, and you dont bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.
SCORPIO
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However, these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You should become a stunt performer with no helmet.
SAGITTARIUS
You are the romantic, mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless in Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.
CAPRICORN
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centred cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.
AQUARIUS
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sex partner is a labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.
PISCES
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greates living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.
