So... you're gonna stick here and annoy for the rest of the night? You know, I was planning on spending the night *alone*. *Arches an eyebrow.*

~something caught your eye not too far from where you were standing, oddly enough when you looked over it appeared a small Siberian tiger, with all white features and the typical black stripes she stuck out like a soar thumb from the shadows she was in down in the alley ~

[[ I'm okay with it. Tyler is an on/off dick to Caroline sometimes. Kind of selfish for choosing to get sired with Klaus over his friends and girlfriend for the sole purpose to not feel the pain when he turns into a werewolf. I'm half-shipping Klaus and Caroline. :B ]]

Wow and you're already more successful than my last therapist. *I shrug and say* Guilty as charged. I've *always* had an impulse problem. Act first, regret later. Story of my life. In *counts fingers and mouths that last sentence again* 4 short words.

*I laugh and shake my head* I have no idea... *I grin and look at you and say* You know, I've never really thought of it that way before. I guess when you just don't care about yourself, you can beat yourself up pretty bad.

Maybe. *I grin a little* Sounds better coming from you though. *I scratch the back of my neck and say* Yeah, I have a place I go to when I need to clear my head... I thought taking up smoking might help me at least take a step towards a new a addiction... you know "the lesser of two evils" kinda thing. Now I'm just hooked on both. I'd rather be craving a cigarette than trying to get my hands around a needle... those scare the shit out of me honestly. I can still remember how scared I was when I first did it.... *I shake my head lost in a memory*

*I sigh and shake my head, bringing a hand up to rub my right eye as I say* I'm here because I've attempted and failed one too many times. I'm here because there was no way left for me to turn it around at home. You'd be surprised what I've tried and how much I committed to it only to wake up in the worse kind of agony you could only imagine.... if you have any new ideas, shoot. I'm all ears. *I shrug loosely and look at you*

*I look up at you and give you a half smile* It's more like... this isn't who I want to be. That's why I'm literally here in this world. I have *nothing* to keep me away from myself and change my ways. Being here, I'm supposed to find it. It's not going to happen though... because there's no way I'd be able to take whatever's out there that could "fix me" with me... So it'll just keep going on like this until one day I just don't open my eyes up anymore... until then, I want to stay as distant from my family and friends as I can... it's going to be a pain in the ass sitting through all of their weddings and pregnancy announcements and kid's birthdays these next oh 5 to 10 years or so.

(longest comment I've ever written o_0)

*Now it's my turn to snap back. My hands clench into two tight fists and I say with narrowed eyes* You make it sound so *simple*. *In a voice just dripping with sarcasm now* Oh you're so *right* it's like you can read right *through me*. *flatly* Since I'm so shitty at knowing you and what you like, it's fuckin phenomenal how you can read me so well. I'll give you some credit though, there was a time where you read me off completely... *My face relaxes completely now and I say in a tired, slightly cracked voice* Do you honestly look at me and think I'm living the way that I want to live? Do you think that I lie to myself everyday and tell myself I'm happy with myself? No one knows more than I do how much I hate who I've become. No one. Not my siblings, my parents, those that call me friend.

*I let out a silent sigh and lower my shoulder along with my gaze* But I can't change it anymore... I'm done trying to solve my problems so I live with them. I won't ever be able to go back to a me that I want to be. It's not...it's not choosing anymore... it's dependence now.... I can't *function* without the drugs...and when I come down from a high, I become this bitter asshole you're looking at now... because *everything's* all wrong and *everything* hurts. *I look at you firmly, completely serious and sincere* I pray to God you *never* know what I'm feeling. I wouldn't even wish it on my enemies... *I shove my hands deep into my pockets and then say* I'd turn to go and not waste your time more, but I wouldn't want to walk out on you again... *I glance down at my shoe and kick some dirt underneath my feet*