NotPanicking's channel

Man, one of these days I'm going actually make it to one of these Nerdfighter conventions, and then proceed to enjoy the crap out of it. Er... Figuratively speaking.

John, I'm a little disappointed: you missed a perfectly good opportunity to do your happy-dance around the world. Still, great news you get to teach!

Only problem with a fleshlight attachment is it'd lead to a marked increase in shotgun weddings. *drumroll*

Ah, the internet. Filled with more creeps than you can shake a stick at. Which is saying something, considering stick-shaking isn't really all that difficult.

What the hell was the inspiration for this? Human creativity has no bounds, upper or lower... I'm not sure which way this one's going, though.

I would cut down on meat, but I'm spending the rest of June digging for fossils, and I'm not in charge of what I eat. (Also, not sure I could go cold turkey on cold turkey.)

Cache = "cash"! That's how you pronounce that friggin word! Always wondered that.

Also, I wonder what percentage of people thought to themselves, "Hello, Horatio!"

There's a book by Douglas Adams called "The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul," I think, where the main character gets from A to B in his car by picking a person who looks like they know where they're going and tailing them, pretty much. Never realized you could do that in touristing, too haha

I'm not expert, but it really sounded like John was trying out Klingon or something when trying to learn to say "Queen's Day." Just sayin'.

Looks like a useful serve to get down, with some tweaking it can conform to professional rules. Thank'ee, sir.

How do you live that long ingesting that much chocolatey goodness? Oh, right...

I love how you complain about your teammate's incompetence every time you run face-first into a barrage of bullets. Your ego must be the size of friggin Texas haha

I typed in, "Is qua" to google to see if I could get a decent quantum physics joke, but people are way more interested in whether or not Quaker oatmeal is gluten free, apparently. Which is good, but still, Schrodinger's cat? Come on!

Evil wizards: The only reason love has not yet conquered the sea.

NO WAIT! You forgot to check the file cabinet! Maybe his head exploded because he was carrying too much gold!

I'm pretty sure, with that $26, you should buy a pack of plastic Easter eggs, and then, on a day near Easter where the pharmacy's still open, place 26 eggs with $1 each in them around the section that sells Warner Chilcott drugs.

Also, I'm hoping the Nicolas Cage fact is false.

Dammit, now I want a corndog. Corn dog? Eh, screw correct grammar.

@lester5192 So the guy talks a little fast. So what? You try compressing a message you find serious and worth talking about in less than four minutes, and I guarantee you'll start speaking at a faster rhythm than usual.

@AliceInHipsterLanddd Can I be a Ravenpuff, please? I'm flat broke and my handwriting is terrible. And not in the traditional sense.

Somewhere, Mickey weeps for the new mouse that will usurp his reign as Mouse King.

@altim4t3 Y U no make clearly understandable joke??

Solution: Everyone should stop being jerks. Especially politicians.

I clicked before hearing the quote, because I am just that decisive. I got it wrong, too, but that's beside the point.

Bahahaha! Oh, I'm glad YouTube stuck this out there today. There are few things more entertaining than a righteous idiot.

Kinda reminds me of Bart, prank-calling Moe in the Simpsons. "Anyone know where I can find Amanda Hugankiss? Amanda Hugankiss?"

Just a heads up, you can't kill Max and take it. I tried, and the only result was that I felt like an awful person. (The guys that made Fallout: New Vegas made it so you can't kill children.)

@MogalyBogal You know how Hank MIGHT be Batman? John MIGHT be a superhero too, except his superpower is probably just the ability to grow a creeping cop's mustache at will. (Man but mustache feels like it's spelled weird.)

Thank you to enablers of zombie novellas. I am now going to read the heinous spawn of your charitable acts without remorse.

I feel like this is more "awefull" than "awesome." "Awesome" implies there's only some awe. I'm pretty full of it, though, at the moment.

Question: How many books do you think you've read over the course of your life?