Profile
Name:
Alex
Channel Views:
8,513
Total Upload Views:
473,965
Age:
19
Joined:
Jun 14, 2006
Latest Activity:
10 hours ago
Subscribers:
197
About Me:
04/08/93 - 05/08/11
This man was a great man. Isn't that what people say when someone passes away? But, you know, Trevor wasn't great. He was fantastic. I might have known him for less than a year, but he was still one of my best friends. It takes a lot for me to trust people. Normally, when I am introduced to a group of friends, it isn't long before I start to doubt that they like me at all. Because of that, I often become resentful and bitter, so I give my friends a reason to dislike me. With Trevor, I never had that problem. I saw Trevor not as a better, as I do with most of my friends, but as an equal. Because of that, seeing others care about him so much made me feel more confident. If he could do it, so could I, right? If he could make friends, if he could overcome depression, if he could find the girl of his dreams, so could I. He gave me strength and courage. When I lost him, I lost my courage. Not only did I lose someone I never had a reason to doubt, but I lost the closeness that I had to the rest of my friends because of that. I noticed that almost right away, on the night of his visitation when I started to feel sad and alone...so I wound up, almost immediately after his death, selfishly acting out for attention. When that failed, I began to isolate myself. I stopped talking to some people altogether. That "some" is slowly morphing into "many." The more time passes, the fewer people I trust, the fewer I speak to. The only people I truly continue to trust fully are the Xemnas in my cosplay group and the cousin of our Cloud. Well, those two and a couple of online friends, I suppose, but...that isn't really the same.
Though I have been invited to stay with these people I've called my friends for a week over the summer, I have decided over the past couple of weeks that it's best if I don't. Staying with people I don't trust for an extended period of time will only damage my psyche further.
Trevor... Roxas... I know you're watching and I know that you're probably disappointed in me. I promise, though, that I will do this one thing for you. I know that you would have wanted someone to look out for Axel in your absence. I know I won't do as good of a job as you, but I will do my best. I will always, always put Axel first, regardless of how much trust I have left for her. Perhaps this is my last redeeming act. I don't know what drives me... Respect? Guilt? Just the knowledge that I'm the one member of the original family who lives close enough to make a difference? Regardless of the reason, or whether I'm even wanted, I've already made the decision to take care of her. After all, someone has to make sure she doesn't fall when she wears those ridiculous platform shoes, right?
Country:
United States
Companies:
M&M Propane
Interests:
origami, video games, drawing, writing, math, cosplay
Movies:
Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Everything is Illuminated, Stranger than Fiction,
Music:
Eurobeat, rock, Vocaloids, anything but most country.
Books:
Harry Potter, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, Zelda manga, Kingdom Hearts manga, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Artemis Fowl
Subscribers
(197)
Subscriptions
(64)
Recent Activity
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My wife recently talked me into the idea of having kids. But she said we can't name them after the ducks. Darn. :D Maybe Jack? Remember him? Then a...
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The commentary in this episode is a bit.... more strange...
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"have you ever wished for an endless night? lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight."
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David Tennant as the ghost of of christmas present in Nan's Christmas Carol
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Channel Comments
We... need to get together one day and hang out. We haven't done that in so long....