Profile
Name:
We all used to laugh more
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307
Joined:
Jul 2, 2009
Website:
Watsons half wit cousin
About Me:
I always call a spade a spade, until the other night when I stepped on one in the dark.
She's always smiling. She's the only girl I know whose teeth are sunburnt.
Now here's a quick laugh. Do this tomorrow. Walk into an antiques shop and shout: 'What's new?'
I've got a wife who never misses me. Her aim is perfect!
Every day she takes the car out, she comes back with the same question: 'Guess who I ran into.'
When I asked her to whisper those three little words that would make me walk on air, she said: 'Sure . . . go hang yourself.'
(As Sherlock Holmes) I say, Watson, this is a most serious case — the window is broken on both sides.
My wife does her own decorating, but she overdoes it. The other day I opened the fridge and there was a lampshade on the lightbulb.
I had a wonderful dream last night. I dreamed that Brigitte Bardot came up to me and said: 'I will grant you three wishes. Now what are the other two?'
I always sit in the back of a plane. It's much safer. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain!
In Las Vegas, they gamble everywhere. I went into a drug store for an aspirin and the girl behind the counter said: 'I'll toss you, double or nothing.' I lost. I came out with two headaches.
I said to the girl in the shop: 'I want to buy a hat.' She said: 'Fedora?' I said: 'No, for myself!'
I'm recovering from a cold. I'm so full of penicillin that, if I sneeze, I'll cure someone.
I knew a hypochondriac who wouldn't visit the Dead Sea until he found out what it died of!
She still plays the piano by ear . . . but sometimes her earrings get in the way.
This guy bought his wife a burial plot for her birthday. The following year, when he bought her nothing, she complained. He said: 'What are you complaining about? You didn't use the present I bought you last year!'
The town was so dull, one day the tide went out and it never came back.
Influences:
Oxygen, food, water.
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MrMigido commented on Father Arrested After 4 Yea...
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MrMigido commented on Father Arrested After 4 Yea...
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