Name:
Count Monticore VonKush
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About Me:
I am the Great Count Monticore VonKush. I was born on May 25, 1915 in Auschwitz, Bielsko, Poland. I studied at Hitler youth, class of 1944. I am a very cultured man; I fluently speak Icelandic, 中文, Quenya, and ไทย. Also, I am a proud member of the Spanish Donald Duck political affiliation (Parti de Donald Duck). I love music, I am a fan of Beethoven, Cannibal Corpse, and my all time favorite, Justin Bieber. Also I am the producer, director, and octopus/squid acquirer of many live action tentacle porn films, released through 日本アイビーエム. Tentacle porn is really the most beautiful thing in the world. I enjoy having tentacles up my own ass; all I do is jump right in the squid tank and enjoy the sensation of the voluptuous tentacles enveloping me. I am homosexual and also I am strongly anti-Semitic. I am the founder and high priest of the greatest religion in the world, Nuwaubianism. Nuwaubianism philosophy states that it is important to bury the afterbirth so that Satan does not use it to make a duplicate of the recently-born child. I decided that Satan would just take the whole child if he wanted a clone, so I decided to bury the whole child. Much safer. Also, some aborted fetuses survive their abortion to live in the sewers, where they are being gathered and organized to take over the world on Treil 3101, 2999. People were once perfectly symmetrical and ambidextrous, but then a meteorite struck Earth and tilted its axis causing handedness and shifting the heart off-center in the chest. This is responsible for all human emotions. Each of us has seven clones living in different parts of the world; many times someone we know will see one and approach it, thinking they are approaching their friend. Little did that bitch know that I was just a clone and that Mortimer wasn't really at the shopping mall that day. Women existed for many generations before they invented men through genetic manipulation, they are very fucking smart and will conspire against men at every given chance. Homo sapiens are the result of cloning experiments that were done on Mars using Homo erectus. The cloning was carried out with the same technology that brought you television. And genocide. Nikola Tesla came from the planet Venus. Furthermore, The Illuminati have nurtured a child, Satan's son, who was born on 6 June 1966 at the Dakota House on 72nd Street in New York to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis of the Rothschild/Kennedy families. I'm not sure whether or not he's the antichrist, or just some kid who thought living in hell was hell. It's hard to tell. When I am not into some good tentacle porn I like to have a carrot shoved up my pooper and be called "Rudolf" while I lick the lubricant off a Magnum condom that has been tied in 2-3 knots. Once the condom is dry, I spit the lubricant in her nose and I don't allow her to breath until it's in her tummy. I then become ecstatic and go beat off in a jar of Peter Pan Peanut Butter, which I subsequently use to make my elderly parents lunch for the next day. And let me tell you, once I see the delight on their face from eating it, HARD ON!!!!
You put this up as a joke, I get it--derp, derp, derp...But it's nowhere near funny. Don't ever single out, mock or belittle another ones belief systems, especially so very poorly!
Peace
WEN I SMOKE CRAKK I'm BLAKK
WEN I TAKE A SHIITE ITZ BLAKK
WEN I GOT OUTTA DA YOUTUBE JAIL I WAZ BLAKK
N' WEN I DYE N A SHOOTIN FRUM ROBBIN A BANK ILL B BLAKK!!