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Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris doesnt play hide and go seek, he plays hide and pray to god I DONT find you

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

CNN was originally created as the Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

Chuck norris once shot down a german fighter plane with his finger by yelling bang

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter

-on chuck norris's vacation he went to the us virgin islands when he came back they were just the islands

-Chuck Norris's tears are the cure for cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
(CUNNINGHAMOWNS )

-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim on land.

-when bruce banner gets mad he becomes the hulk, when the hulk gets mad he becomes chuck norris.

-when chuck norris jumps in a pool he doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norris

-If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

-Chuck Norris doesn't have any pubic hair because pubic hair doesn't grow on steel.

-Chuck Norris killed two stone's with one bird.

-Chuck Norris can speak Braille
(blackmonkeyeater)

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

When taking the SAT, write ;Chuck Norris. You will score over 8000

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can beat the Sun in a staring contest.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it effects the economy.

since chuck norris's birth in 1940 round house kick related deaths have increased by 13000 %
(kport23)

Some people wear superman underwear,superman wears chuck norris underwear
(praetorin)

-Chuck Norris isn't scared of Death, Death is scared of Chuck Norris.

-Some people pray to God, God prays to Chuck Norris. (BooshRox)

Chuck Norris know's Victorias Secret. (SpiderMagic123 )
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