About this user
I was born into a traditional Jewish family. My father came from a Rabbinic flock and my mother was born into a secular Jewish household. My parents instilled in me a strong sense of Jewish pride-pride not only for myself but also for my people. This type of upbringing caused me to have an "us and them"(them being non-Jews) outlook on life. This mentality kept me distant and suspicious of people from other walks of life; and eventually led to a life consumed by hate and anger, the target of who would be Islam.
I began "teaching" myself about Islam while I was in college. I was outraged at Islam and Muslims, over happenings in Israel and wanted to learn about the faith with the sole intent of defacing it. I joined a Jewish club on campus and was met with people sympathetic to my cause. We flooded the campus with anti-Islam propaganda, we put up derogatory posters and brought in speakers like, Robert Spencer and Daniel Pipes. We tried to make life for Muslims on campus very difficult. Throughout all of this, I noticed that not one of the members ever thought that we were going too far; in fact they were filled with more hate for Islam than me-it was only later that I found out that many of these people were taught to hate Muslims from birth-yes from birth. Their hate was almost religious (it actually was religious) it was as if there only goal in life was to exterminate the Muslims. I felt right at home.
One day while surfing through a few anti-Islamic websites I came across some Koranic passages and an urge came into me to read the Koran-I had never read it before, all my info about Islam was based on anti-Islamic literature. I borrowed a Koran from the library and started to read; it took me almost 2 weeks of reading but I finally finished. I remember staring blankly at the ground for almost 5 minutes afterwards and then losing control of myself, I was consumed with hate. I knew at that point that the Koran was the word of God, I knew it but it made me hate Islam even more-this I think was the result of years and years of conditioning by my parents and their delusional sense of Jewish pride. I felt like I had been beaten in a competition, that "they" had won and I/We (the Jews) had lost. I remember crushing my laptop with my foot, in anger.
It was only months later that I started to come to terms with my feelings. I took my shahada at a mosque miles away from my school (I developed a bad rep with the local Muslims, due to my earlier activities). I started praying 5 times a day and gave up many of my bad habits. I felt an unearthly peace in my heart and became someone totally different.
I told my family that I had become a Muslim at a family reunion. When they realized that I was serious, I saw what I could only describe as evil in their eyes. My father threw me to the ground and followed with a barrage of slaps and punches to my face. No one interfered until the punches became kicks to the groin and ribs. Finally my mother stepped in and told me to leave, so I did. I didn't hate them for it, I knew that I would have done the same thing a year ago. It's funny that one of my cousins admitted to being gay (a big no no, for a grandson of a Rabbi) only to be given a slap on the wrist. And the same slap on the wrist was given to my niece (older than me) who married a Buddhist and became one later on. While I became an orphan with living parents.
I haven't had any contact with my family for almost two years now and I am happier than I have ever been. If anyone wants to find peace in this life then read the Koran with an open mind and inshallah you will find it. May Allah guide us all to reason.
