About this user
I found myself on the beach the other night, somewhere around 4:00 in the morning. I put my back to the ground; a crude mat made out of friend's clothing keeping the sand at bay. The waves were lapping at my feet ever so calmly. The water was warm to the touch, but a cool breeze chilled me with the perpetual return of winter. I shivered every so often - my body hoping to keep warm. I laid there a while, gazing up at the stars, the distant laughs of my friends as they rode the waves drew my attention from time to time, but never for long. I looked as far out into the sky as my eyes would let me, then I let my mind take over. As I lay there filling in the blank spaces of the universe with childish fantasies I could never quite let go of, I felt at peace. But the ever-present reality of dissatisfaction crept. Fifteen-minutes or so passed without any real revelment. Then, as I lit my last cigarette and laid back, set my eyes above and took a deep breath, something quite amazing happened. It was as if I had lost any perception of up and down or side to side. All I could make out was forward. For a mere moment in time I could almost feel the curvature of the Earth against my back, as if it had fired all engines and went full speed ahead. It was like Earth was no longer a planet, simply a wall that I was stuck to as I peered out over everything. I felt so close to the stars, as if they were surrounding me, as if I was simply floating through space with the rest of the heavenly bodies. I thought for a moment, trying to recant what I had just experienced. But the approaching yells of loved ones made for the perfect distraction, and the feeling was lost. It's funny, thinking back now, a feeling that lasted no more than ten seconds has taken nearly three days to put into words. And I haven't even done the slightest bit justice to what I experienced that night. I'm ashamed to say it, but I doubt I ever will be able to. All I can say, which is by no means enough, is that what I felt that night.... was home.
I have been thinking recently that my view of the world is a tad naive. I have been wondering why after all these centuries upon centuries of our existence have we not progressed past violence, corruption, greed, unrivaled destruction. Why we have not realized that we are all we have, that we are in this together, that in order for us to have any chance of building a worthy future we would first have to learn from our past. I never lost hope either, I always thought that one day it would come to be through will power and a collective want for something more, something better. While wondering these things I came to the possibility that we simply are not capable of anything wondrous, without in turn doing something horrific; maintaining the balance, if you will. In a recent comment inspired by a fellow YouTuber, I wrote: "In our greatest trait: difference of opinion, lies our greatest flaw: difference of opinion." I believe this to be true for one reason. Our differential in views and beliefs has lead to some of our most fantastic inventions, works, and philosophical ideas. But in turn, it has also lead to some of our most horrifying actions, endeavors, and ideologies. This world will never reach a state of euphoria because the thing that makes us great, is also destroying us. I went on to say: "There will always be one person who does not agree, or simply does not want peace. In that one person seeking power, money, religious conformity will in lie our inevitably repeating downfall. A sad, but historically accurate thought." To deny this one needs merely to ignore our species history. I guess what I'm trying to say is that without the effort of every able-bodied person walking this planet, we will never progress in a societal manner. Sure, we can build wonderful buildings, fly through the air, even kiss the cheeks of nearby celestial bodies. But on the ground, in our moral affairs, we are no better than the savages of long ago. We can paint our faces, hide behind our technology and use it to suggest false improvements. But when you strip away all the pretty sentiments, all the fancy inventions; we have no fucking idea what we're doing.
Hometown
Queens
Country
United States
Occupation
Free lance photographer
Interests
Astronomy, The Arts, The Ancient World
