protect me from what i want

Tragedy is when I cut my finger, comedy is when you walk into an open sewer & die.

Hope for the best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.

You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

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