I have to take a deep breath before I watch video footage of me having a seizure. It is a horrific site. It causes fear and anxiety. I cry when I watch how my body looses control. I cringe when I hear the noises I make during a seizure.

I have had well over 100 seizures in the past 1.5yrs. My seizures started in my chest, then moved into my left hand and arm, and now attack my entire body except for my right hand and arm. I fear loosing complete control.

I'm 34yrs old and prior to February 2008 I had no seizures and worked full-time. Since then I have deteriorated and have become this person who can't control his body.

These seizures also affect my mind. I forget what day it is. I forget if I took a shower. I forget peoples' names. What are these seizures doing to me long term?

My greatest fear is being institutionalized and losing custody of my two children. I also fear losing my house and not being able to afford the basics for myself and my children.

I cope with fear by praying in Christ's name for healing and for giving me strength and direction. I cope with fear by taking action to discover the cause of my illness. I cope with fear by calling and emailing friends and family. I cope with fear by hugging my children tightly and telling them NOT to fear and to be Grateful for each day we have together. I cope with fear by spending time with my wife and sharing my most intimate thoughts and feelings. I cope with fear by helping others who are suffering with similar symptoms, by being a spokesperson for those who are not able to speak, are too scared to be in the public eye, or those who don't have the resources I have.

I'm working each day, one day at a time to "live life with an attitude of gratitude," which is easier said than done sometimes, but I try and that is what counts.

I live by the following and in reality it is the same for all of us:

Matthew 6-34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I'm grateful for the love and support of others in my life who see me for who I am. I am a Christian, husband, father, son, uncle, nephew, grandson, and friend.

I am a human being in need of HELP.

I APPRECIATE YOUR HELP!

Thank you,

Nathan
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Non-epileptic seizures are paroxysmal events that mimic an epileptic seizure but do not involve abnormal, rhythmic discharges of cortical neurons. They are caused by either physiological or psychological conditions. The latter is discussed more fully in psychogenic non-epileptic seizures.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-epileptic_seizure

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