I'm Fandastic!

@DuckyFmStudios66 I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DANCE-DUEL! In my bid to DESTROY ALL RIVALS on the FLOOR OF THE DANCE, I have decided to travel around the country DANCING PEOPLE'S BEHINDS RIGHT OFF! I expect you will be TOO AFRAID to DANCE AGAINST ME IN A DUEL OF DANCING but if not, I will be in TRAFALG...

@zafeamoon Your comment simply reinforces my belief that you are a massive pillock. I CAN OUTRUN ANY DOG! I am physically SUPERIOR to ALL DOGS and, might I add, BOTH PHYSICALLY, INTELLECTUALLY AND EROTICALLY SUPERIOR to YOU! These are FACTS, plain and simple! I AM STILL WAITING FOR ANY DOG WH...

I could definitely beat this berk! I, Fandango Birtwhistle, criminal mastermind and fearless sex warrior, fear no man and if anyone should be lauded as the most dangerous man in the world, it should be ME! I am willing to meet this divot for a punch-up, just name the time and place! I can't do ...

I, Fandango Birtwhistle, criminal mastermind and sex typhoon, literally laugh in the tattooed faces of these pillocks! Only cowards seek the comfort of gangs in which to ply their criminal trades! I work alone! I am a brave wolf, trotting through the forest of badness, cheerfully devouring the...

What poppycock! There is only one law of power and that is...'Be Fandango Birtwhistle, criminal mastermind and sex typhoon'. I am the beautiful King while the rest of you are merely ugly pawns in the chess game of my life. Accept your inferiority, buffoons!

This looks fascinating! I'm in the Crime Business myself and anticipate documentaries/feature films/Broadway Musicals to be made about me in the near future. If any of the gentlemen featured in this glossy production feel the need to ask me any advice about how to commit crimes etc, they are we...

@HonkyNincompoop IF YOU MAKE ANY MORE VIDEOS LIKE THIS I’LL BE THE ONE HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN! YOU PILLOCK!

HOW DID YOU DO THIS? I NEED TO KNOW! My foolish parents refuse to lend me the money to purchase a military issue rocket launcher so I am forced to trawl this cretinous website for help. This launcher seems perfect for my purposes (which I will not be divulging here in case the coppers are readi...

@aGxpredator YOU MAY FIND THE PROSPECT OF YOUR IMPENDING DOOM TO BE 'HILARIOUS' BUT FOR ME IT'S SERIOUS BUSINESS! I didn't win the ebay auction for that rowing boat unfortunately so I'm still unable to come to Compton and MASH YOU UP but as soon as I get my STRONG AND MANLY HANDS on a boat, YOU ...

@googlymoogly555 You are obviously a genius, just like me (but not quite as clever, because no one is as clever as me). I see no reason why science can't make both ouR dreams come true, bacon AND hot dogs! COME ON, SCIENTISTS! LET'S GET THE MONKEY AND THE PIG IN A LAB AND MAKE THEM DO IT UNTIL ...

Not bad, you have some fighting technique but in general I see you as an unworthy opponent. I can punch though most of a watermelon with my bare hand so, as you can imagine, I would smash you to bits in seconds. I am Fandango Birthwistle, criminal mastermind and sex tyhoon and I FEAR NO MAN! OR ...

I will never be caught for my crimes! Because I am much cleverer than the police. In fact, I'm much cleverer than people in general. If you're reading this, police of the world, good luck in your doomed attempts to catch me, Fandango Birtwhistle, criminal mastermind and sex typhoon! You'll nee...

As Britain's (and soon, no doubt, the world's) most brilliant deviant, I, Fandango Birtwhistle, criminal mastermind and sex typhoon, am disappointed not to feature in this 'documentary' on 'criminals'. I can only assume the producers were too afraid to contact me. This is understandable as I am ...

@nikthepilot How dare you mock me? I am Fandango Birtwhistle, criminal mastermind and sex typhoon! I WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE A FLY!

Superb! Essential knowledge for those of us proudly pursuing a life of crime!