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Eli and the SDCs: The E! True Hollywood Story:
Eli and the SDC's is a four-piece rock band that hails from St. Mark's Preparatory School in the picturesque suburban community of Southboro, Massachusetts.
The band formed when to-be drummer Wyatt "Thundersticks" Bertz got fed up with the school's classically-based music curriculum and attempted to assassinate chamber ensemble teacher Janet Underhill. As Bertz, wielding his deadly weapon of choice- Underhill's own prized bassoon- was approaching Underhill from behind, preparing to deliver a fatal blow to her medulla oblongata, a little Hawaiian island boy named Nathaniel Howes approached him and said, "Come on, mon, you gotta be chill, brudda. Have some of this pakalolo and come with me." Bertz cast the bassoon aside and followed the little island boy to room 121, which was, unfortunately, locked. The determined duo was not to be stopped, however, and they broke in with the help of the Greek janitor, a superhuman who represents justice, integrity, and finely trimmed hedges. Howes then cheated up, I mean fired up the room's sound system and showed Bertz top-secret vocal recordings of up-and-coming basketball star Elias Lubick.
Upon hearing Lubick croon the first emotion-wrenched word of a karaoke version of the Jason Mraz classic "I'm Yours," Bertz and Howes knew that they had a star on their hands. They recruited Lubick, who gladly agreed to join them in their quest for musical sexcellence. Lubick made great sacrifices for the band- not only did he take time from his athletic commitments to practice with the boys, but the demanding rehearsal schedule ultimately deteriorated the foundation (which had been built upon true love and trust) of his relationship with then-girlfriend Gabby Starkey. Bertz, ever the wily bastard, attempted to chronicle the follies of their relationship on the St. Mark's Wikipedia page, but was subsequently apprehended for doing so.
Lubick, Bertz, and the young island boy knew that they needed some low-end power to boost their sound, so they began their search for a competent bass player. Their first idea was to try to contact Peter Klaven, but their efforts proved unsuccessful. The search ultimately led them to Matt Gleysteen's room where, after they waded through the haze, they caught James Walker redhanded as he exhaled into a fan that was facing out the window. Bertz offered Walker some Visine and Orbit so that the band could return to room 121 without being apprehended by the St. Mark's DEA, a rogue task force headed by Molly Scherm who, upon failing to keep track of her air conditioner, issued a search warrant for "Jim and his buddies."
And, as they say, the rest is history: the angelic tones that lead singer Eli Lubick coaxes from his larynx (which, for those of you who do not know, is coated in a film of pure gold) are mated in harmonious unison with the prodigal instrumental skills of the three talented young men who comprise the SDC's.
The clips provided on this page are but a tantalizing taste of their true skill: be sure to look for updates about their upcoming world tour and more videos to come in the near future.
ELI AND THE SDC's IS:
Eli "Not Gettin Any (Even After All Those Months)" Lubick: Voice of an Angel
Nat "Pakalolo" Howes: Face-melting Guitar and Hawaiian Good Vibes
Wyatt "Thundersticks" Bertz: Funky Beats and Funny Faces, Background Vocals
Jim "Nice Dude!" Walker: Shlappin' da Bass and Hittin' da Ganj
Hometown
Southborough, MA
Country
United States
Occupation
Slayers of biddies
Interests
Making sex on instruments, slaying biddies, minivaping (but only Jim)
EliandtheSDCs
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