DoctorTimmyTiddles's channel

A puppy or kitten symbolises defencelessness at its most raw. Even if they bite or scratch us, it won't hurt. So when a huge guy, who tooled up can hold his own on a battlefield against machine-guns and rocket launchers, takes pleasure in throwing a small defenceless creature to a probable slow d...

A puppy and a pussy.

The kind of coward who calls in an airstrike to kill two Talibs, cos he's scared of raising his head in case he gets hurt.

Where's Scooby Doo?

I bet Curbishley can't believe his luck every Saturday night. I wonder if he had to go on a course to remember to keep his eyes up.

@Subzerouk2 Quick, call the cops! Someone's stolen your commas and full stops.

And apostrophes.

WHERE?

How the hell's a man supposed to concentrate on winning the game when he's got that looking back at him?? Maybe the trick to being Countdown champion these days is to be gay. Or maybe Raich is just doing her best to create the first female champion in years!!

Didn't need to watch it one-handed and the monitor still ended up covered in goo. And it didn't take me 3mins 19secs either.

The photo isn't up long enough. Barely had time to look at it.

Great seeing the dead guard. Looks like he was beaten to death, so would've died slowly. Real justice. My friend's grandfather helped liberate one of the camps and told him when a German guard refused to help bury the dead inmates, a British officer shot him in the head and he fell into the same ...

Foul serve right at the start.

Can anyone tell me what her face looks like?

How could any man forget he was sat next to Susanna Reid for 2hrs??

Kammy may be in the running for World's Worst Sports Reporter, but I can assure you he has been soundly beaten by Channel 4's Ortis Deley.

I don't think MJ's watching the race, I think he's just looking at Denise Lewis on a monitor. "Wow", he says. And so say all of us, Michael.

Why aren't all presenters like Ortis?

@DasKindwarimBrunnen I agree. The Germans are wonderful people who wouldn't harm a fly.

Unless it was Jewish.

So fake!!! Bin Laden's lips don't even move, otherwise I may have been convinced.

I wonder how many of these troops know their own battle history. I'm talking Aug 24, 1814 in Washington DC.

An interesting moment in history for both US Marines and Royal Marines. Once enemies, now brothers.

Where's Seth Rogen?? All I can see is the dirty Kate Beckinsale.

@1968DrDoom Did you write that just before heading off to church?

@emaz2012 Where??

@cfcsteve86 are all chelski fans thick as fuck or are you just the one they all laugh at? add up all the city players transfer fees from that day and see if it comes anywhere near £400m. thought not!

The difficult third album. Or was it?

If Ricky really wanted this to be his last appearance, he'd have been more scathing and gone out on a high. The truth is, he was barely scathing at all, which makes me think he toned it down on purpose so he can keep doing it for as long as NBC and the HFPA ...

Should've been Fanzone Danny or Fanzone Dave in the chair. This City guy doesn't do it for me. Not manic enough. Needs more energy.

# Canada!! Fuck yeah!! Comin' to club the muthafuckin' seals, yeah!! #

@deadlysin79 Believe it or not, he's one of the top producers on Celebrity Juice. So if anyone's ever thought "I wonder what Holly's husband thinks of Keith Lemon perving at her all the time?", he's more than likely in Keith's earpiece, egging him on.

His colostomy bag's just burst. He gotta get outta there, quick!

He's worse than Nostradamus!

He got what he deserved. Nobody votes for a hung parliament and he should've had the brains to call the Murdoch bitch on that. She's a nasty, dried-up witch, who's clearly getting no sex at all, and it's about time someone owned her big-time live on air.

@Mileur And yet he speaks better English than you! Now who has the small brain...s?

Yes, I think you should say more. You clearly haven't watched many films if you think that's the worst ever mistake.

You shouldn't read jokes off an autocue. It doesn't work. Especially if you're not a comedian.

# 6-1 IN YOUR CUP FINAL, 6-1 IN YOUR CUP FINAL, 6-1 IN YOUR CUP FINAL, 6-1 IN YOUR CUP FINAL, 6-1 IN YOUR CUP FINAL #

Yes, I now accept Islam after seeing this - there is no other religion. Now, can I go out and plant bombs and kill my fellow man in the name of my lord?

That's not fair! I was expecting the centre-half to pull out a shotgun or something.

Me thinks someone went to Ladbrokes before putting the gloves on.

I don't think Craig Burley is angry with El-Hadj Diouf at all. I think he's just bitter that Celtic still live in the shadow of the mighty BLUES!!

And you can't blame the toothless cunt for that.