I was born at a very young age during a time of great pain and hardship (for my mother anyway). The first year of my life was a very hard one for me (Dad spent most of it throwing stones at the stork). My mother tried a number of times to pawn me off to some other family but failed (They didn't want me either). I know mum loved me, I remember when she gave me two new bathtime toys (a toaster and a heater plus she even plugged them in for me). Being born naturally ugly, my mother refused to tie a steak around my neck so that the dog would play with me (She was afraid that the S.P.C.A would fine her for cruelty to animals). I once rode a horse on the Merry-Go-Round for six straight hours (Something I shall never do again, I had saddle sores for a week). I remember my first loves name, it was Kate E Doll, she was made in china and costed $200 (She expected alot of me and I never let her down, cose its a pain in the butt pumping her up again). I ran into an old friend the other day at the beach. I asked him if I could grab a beer from the chilly bin, he replied "If you can guess how many beers I have left? you can have all four" so I replied "Three" I ran into another friend three days later, the sod punched me in the face and told me to watch where I was going. I had to buy a new pair of eye glasses today because I keep breaking the old pair at night when I sleep (I can see my dreams better when I wear them). I have plenty of money to last me a life time (But only if I drop dead in the next 10 minutes). Question: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, do other trees make fun of him. Well I have given you a little taste of my life and I hope you enjoyed it. If not please tell me and I will fire the chef immediately.