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Happy
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I tell jokes... and hopefully you laugh.
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gradualreport
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man:I am breathing very difficult.
doctor:What were you doing before that?
man:Running from the police.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
Nothing; they just waved.
Do you SEA what I did there?
I'm shore you did.
Don't be such a beach.
"now young sir they come in packs of 3,6 and 12 which one will it be" asks the pharmacist
"well mate tonight I'm meeting my girlfriends parents and after that I'm bound to get lucky. Once she has me once she probably is going to want me a whole lot more and i plan to give it too her a whole lot more after that.
I will have the pack of 12 thank you very much"
AT THE DINNER WITH PARENTS
the young lad offers to say grace and after doing so continues to pray to himself for a while. his girlfriend leans over and says
"i didn't know you were so religious"
he replies with
"i didn't know your father was a pharmacist"
there is ma joke
Patient - Give me the bad news first
Doctor - You only have 24 hours to live
Patient - 24 HOURS!!!! What's the REALLY bad news?
Doctor - We've been trying to reach you since yesterday
If you are forced to have it as a child, you won't like it as an adult.