I Take Umbrage

I am obligated to watch only pornographic filth, blasphemy and graphic violence in order to ensure that Decent Moral Standards are maintained and that none of it reaches the nation's television screens.
I have reluctantly assumed the mantle of Spokeswoman for the decent, right-thinking middle classes of Britain. In that role, I regard it as my duty to elevate moral standards, uphold Family Values, and clean up television. We should enforce more censorship, ban any vulgar, popular entertainments which do not illuminate the mind, and keep smut, bad language and violent images away from the eyes of the easily lead and weak minded public.

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