Every thousand years, I test each life system in the Universe. I visit it with mysteries, earthquakes, unpredicted eclipses, strange craters in the wilderness... If these are taken as natural, I judge that system ignorant and harmless-- I spare it. But if the Hand of Ming is recognized in these events, I judge that system dangerous to Us. I call upon the great god Dyzan, and for his greater glory-- and our mutual pleasure-- I destroy it utterly.
Xenu is my idiot nephew. He's just been trying to copy me, the impudent brat.