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AlchemyFreak11 favorited a video
(6 hours ago)
If you care about me at all, then you'd read my update/ description..
Any...
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If you care about me at all, then you'd read my update/ description..
Anyways I suppose i'll apologize for not making a video in such a long time. I've still been losing weight and doing pretty well at it. But a lot of shiz has gone down in my life:
First of all school has been insanely crazy, and i'm finally on summer break but still this is a huge contributing factor towards not making videos. I was getting insanely sick during finals.. and battling off my parents who had found out about all of this. Actually just my dad found out about all of this.. and it was towards the last month of my schooling.. and things just went to hell. He called up accounts that i had signed up into this (where he found out about it) and had them deleted.. blocking foreign numbers from my phone just in case they were gay or into this whole thing. And it has just been a crazy mess. And he has been threatening to send me to live with my mother in Australia, where I am currently visiting.
And i've also had quite a bit of drama at school with friends and gossip and relationships i guess...? And of course my sexuality has been discovered more as I do enjoy men, but i'm still leaving that door open for experimentation with relationships and what not. But of course it's way hard to be openly gay at highschool, so i'm trying out all sorts of things, but i've finally accepted it i suppose? Read my profile description if you want more details of that...
What else has been going on? Oh yes, i'm in Australia now.. and it's much easier to meet friends here :P... and i shamefully gain lots of weight here.. went from 160 to 170 in like 3 weeks. And I met my gorgeous 340 pound friend. He's currently trying to be healthy/ maybe lose weight, but with stress and stuff he's been packing it on a bit, and i said i didn't mind that at all :P. He actually gained 90 pounds in the last year, so i guess congratulate him on that accomplishment :P. And he just got out of a relationship, so i guess i was his comforter :P. ..
And now begins my rant on why i've been less involved even throughout the stress. I was going to make a face video explaining everything, but i thought against it when it's my personal identity on the line... and just lots of things that made me decide against it. I've just been losing weight and seeing how people's attitudes change towards me and my own decisions. When I'm being told that I looked better or should gain instead of encouraging my own decision.. it really does hurt me.. to the core because basically i turn it into "you're not good enough". And then I start thinking about why i'm making all these videos.. for your guy's pleasure? Some of the thousands of people dont even comment and probably use this to get off because these are "fettish" videos.. where i find a lot of people just wanting to see someone get bigger just so they can get eye candy. I've always been more into individuals then seeing them as toys, and anyone can vouch for that if you talk to them. I think it's an important trait to have. The gaining scene is fun, but there's more to life then just fat and eating and being lazy. So this community brings our similar interests together.. and it focus's on this trait, but i believe that this trait shouldn't be the only thing we have in common in a chat. So i've been less interested in making a video because i feel like i'm not doing what most of you want and that is to gain.. and a lot of people are negative towards my decision... so what's the point? And i haven't been able to make the "fun" videos I told you about because I need an editing software.. and my school's computers are insanely public.. so it'd be hard to make my video without any risk.. But trust me i've been trying to find a way to make an interesting video other then my shrinking body.. So luckily my friend was comfortable with it and something beautiful came out of it. So i hope this video just express's the beauty of big, and this community instead of being useless eye candy..
And to sum this up: I'm losing because of my self confidence. I'm in highschool.. i'm in competative sports, i have health freaks as parents, i actually want to try pursueing modeling since i'm seeing my potential and people are being supportive about it, and it's just my decision right now. I DO want to gain... in the future.. with the right person.. or just later on in life. My name is ironic.. i know, because i made it when i was really into this scene, and thought that i was going to end up big. I wish i could change it.. but we'll save that convo for a different day.
So to sum this up, hope you enjoy, and i'd say message me.. but i've been REALLY bad at replying :/. It's sometimes the same message over and over again.. and i feel like i need to copy and paste. So, i'll try to be better, but i probably will just ignore if it doesn't spark an interest in a new friend or whatever. BUT I do read all my comments!
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AlchemyFreak11 uploaded a new video
(2 weeks ago)
BURRRPP!! Here's another montage of some gaining clips thrown together.
H...
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BURRRPP!! Here's another montage of some gaining clips thrown together.
Hope you enjoy! ;)
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AlchemyFreak11 favorited a video
(2 weeks ago)
Official Music Video
Directed by: Emily Gossett
Editor: Eitan Abramowitz
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Official Music Video
Directed by: Emily Gossett
Editor: Eitan Abramowitz
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AlchemyFreak11 added a new video to untitled
(2 weeks ago)
Official Music Video
Directed by: Emily Gossett
Editor: Eitan Abramowitz
more
Official Music Video
Directed by: Emily Gossett
Editor: Eitan Abramowitz
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AlchemyFreak11 subscribed to kkhimmel
(3 weeks ago)
Bauch passt noch in die Hose
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