Profile
Name:
Laura
Channel Views:
56,871
Total Upload Views:
157,157
Age:
39
Joined:
Aug 14, 2009
Subscribers:
830
About Me:
I'm a Male-to-Female (MtF) pre-op transexual (transwoman), in the process of transition. I began HRT in September 2010.
In September 2011 I officially changed my name (from my old male name to my new female name), and I've been living fulltime as a woman ever since... I am feeling a lot happier and everything seems to be going well. I have now begun my RLE (Real Life Experience) and am progressing towards my SRS operation.
For those who maybe don't know, a transexual is NOT a transvestite or a crossdresser. A pre-operative (pre-op) transexual is someone who has the mind of one gender - in my case female, in the body of the opposite gender - in my case male. This condition ( known as gender dysphoria) can be corrected by going through what is known as the transition process, which is where an individual procedes to change their body through the use of hormones and surgery so that it matches their true gender. After sex re-assignment surgery (SRS) a transexual is usually referred to as a post-operative (post-op) transexual.
I originally joined youtube to watch old music video's but I soon discovered video diaries by other trans people and decided to start making some vlog's myself about my own experience of transition from a UK perspective.
I hope that the videos / vlogs I made were able to help, inform and inspire the people who saw them and I'd like to thank everyone on youtube who has offered me kind words and encouragement, it really meant a lot and has definitely helped me to make progress on this difficult and sometimes stressful road of transition...Thank you :)
My life before I started my transition was anything but happy...I seemed to spend most of my time hidden away in my room, I had no friends, no social life and no job... I spent several years before transition feeling very depressed and also very angry...I knew I didn't want to continue my life like that (until perhaps one day not being able to take it anymore..) and so I decided once and for all to stop being so afraid of transitioning - and JUST DO IT !!
My gender dysphoria began when I was about 7 years old and gradually got stronger with age. I'd never even heard about gender dysphoria or the possibility of having a sex change until I saw a television programme on the subject when I was 17, until then I'd always thought I was a transvestite - a word which I'd found in a dictionary when I was 12. Unfortunately, until I reached the age of about 35 I felt that my desire to be female was something that I should keep hidden and therefore I never told anyone or sought any help, which I now really regret.
If only I'd known when I was younger that gender dysphoria was not something to be ashamed of and that there was help available... I desperately wanted to start taking female hormones & T-blockers when I was a teenager, but back then it was impossible to get them without a prescription and I was too scared to tell my doctor or anyone else about my dysphoria. Watching testosterone gradually masculinise my body and feeling helpless to stop it was an absolute living nightmare...
So throughout my 20's and with a distinct lack of information about my condition, I tried to ignore my dysphoria ( which wasn't easy ) but by the time I reached my 30's it had become so powerful that it was impossible to ignore anymore. So, at the age of 35, by which time I had gained a lot more knowledge about transitioning, I finally decided that if I was to ever find happiness and finally rid myself of gender dysphoria and all the frustration and depression that it causes, I would have to start the transition process for myself, so I forced myself to find some courage and began making plans. In 2009, aged 36, I finally went to my doctor and told him all about it. He referred me to my local gender dysphoria clinic /service, and my transition was finally underway :)
And to all gender dysphoric people who have yet to find the courage to start this journey of transition ( like I was for a long time ), heed the following -
"For the days pass and never return...
And happiness still awaits you...
Take the adventure, heed the call...
It's but the closing of a door behind you..
And it's out of the old life, into the new...
I will linger and look back...
And at last I will surely see you follow, eager and lighthearted with happiness in your face...
And now I yearn to travel on...
You'll surely follow where I've gone...
Your longing is strong enough,
now heed the call
Come follow me, Wayfarers All.
Country:
United Kingdom
Occupation:
Admin Assistant.
Movies:
Easy Rider. Woodstock. The Who - the kids are alright. The Breakfast club. The Lost Boys. The Warriors. Raiders of the lost ark. Once upon a time in the West. Enter the Dragon. Vanishing point. Picnic at hanging rock. The Lovely Bones. Barbarella. Some like it hot. Star Wars. Star Trek. Aliens. Planet of the Apes. Conan the Barbarian. Withnail & I. Arthur. The Blues Brothers. The Fugitive. The Big Lebowski. Groundhog Day. Shallow Hal. Manhunter. Matrix. Laputa - castle in the sky. Battle Royale. Ringu. Labyrinth. Journey of Natty Gann. Dr No. Performance. Dazed & Confused. The Five Thousand Fingers of Dr T. Loads of others...
Music:
The Who. The Beatles. Hendrix. The Doors. Rolling stones. Cream. Pink Floyd. Simon & Garfunkel. Joni Mitchell. Creedance Clearwater Revival. The Small Faces. Traffic. Led Zeppelin. Velvet Underground. Jefferson Airplane. Genesis ( the Peter Gabriel years). Duran Duran. U2. Sisters of Mercy. Sonic Youth. Siouxsie & the Banshees. Smashing Pumpkins. RHCP. Metallica. SOAD. Tool. The Beta Band. Depeche Mode. Faith no More. Various others...
Books:
Lord of the Rings. Alice through the Looking Glass. The Lovely Bones. Cicely M Barker books. Wind in the Willows. Dragonlance chronicles. Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy. The Phoenix Solution.
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(re-upload tanjadoor) facts & lyrics below:
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Song: "Band on the Run"
Arist: Paul McCartney Album: Band on the Run Year: 1973 Full album version of the song. |
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Goodbye Yellow Brick Road [Bonus Tracks] 1973
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Frederick Hohman plays the popular Toccata from the Fifth Organ Symphony in F, Op 42 #1, by Charles-Marie Widor on the Schantz pipe organ at the Ca...
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Wishing you well,
bateula