===============================

"William's Dream at 12.5%"

In the ancient city of electric hairdryers
eleven circus clowns light cold fires
they cartwheel around disguised as MrT
telling everyone to pollute the sea

Meanwhile Joan was dressed as Santa
and tried to sell me some expired fanta
I told her "NO!" and she started to dance
and tried to sell me used underpants

She weird but not as weird as Abel
who looks a bit like a snooker table
she walks around carrying a bike wheel
telling everyone that she loves Sam Neil
===============================


"Hey you, aye you are you calling me fat! No i'm not a pirate, I'm just sexually atractted to door knobs. If you have a problem with that go tell a giraffe or something that looks like a giraffe. Does my bum look suspiciously like an 18th century Italian impressionist painting in this dress or is it just my cat Steven."

Sir Edward McKenzies(Insane) last words

===============================
"THE IGNORANCE OF THURSDAY"

IN THE THE ART GALLARIES
ARE 17 ALCOHOLIC SPIES
WEARING WINTER CLOTHES AND
TELLING PEOPLE TIME FLIES
WHEN YOU STAND NAKED
UNDERNEATH SHATTERED SKIES
AND CRITISE ALL THE
PEOPLE WITH IGNORANT EYES
MEANWHILE BY THE
TELEVISION CITY MARY CRIES
AND ELEVEN ATHEIST
SUN WORSHIPERS LET OUT A SIGH
THE COWBOYS AND THE LAWYERS
WAVE A FINAL GOODBYE
TO THE MAIDS WHO ARE
EXPERIENCING ARTIFICIAL HIGHS
WOULD I BE CRAZY TO
THINK THAT I COULD BUY
A LADY'S HEART WITH A CASIO
WATCH AND SECOND HAND TIE?
AND WOULD I BE CRAZY TO
THINK THAT I COULD LIE
TO ALAN TITCHMARSH AND
TELL HIM THAT I CAN FLY?

NOW I'M STANDING ON THE
CRACKED AND BROKEN STREET
WHERE DISHONEST POLICEMEN
ARE TRYING TO CATCH SOME SLEEP
AND PLASTIC POLITICIANS
ARE TRYING TO SELL SEAT
AND WHERE 17 AND A HALF
CRAZY CLOWNS CREEP
BUT THE GOVERMENT ARE
TRYING TO BAN THE HEAT
AND MAKE IT ILLEGAL
TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOUR FEET
YOU LOOKED SO WONDERFUL
IN YOUR DRESS OF MEAT
AS YOU DANCED TO THE
RHYTHM OF THE ANCIENT BEAT
WHILE I ASKED THE SICK
SAILORS FOR A TREAT
THEY GAVE ME A BASEBALL BAT,
A HAT,SOME USED WHEAT
AND AN OLD PASSPORT THAT
BELONGED TO A GUY NAMED PETE
WHOSE FACE LOOKED
AS WHITE AS A BRAND NEW SHEET

SIMON COWELL IS WAITING
ON A CATHEDRAL AFTERNOON
AND WHILE HE WAITS HE
PLAYS A FEW GAMES OF DOOM
WITH HIS CHEESEGRATER FRIENDS
WHO WHISTLE OBSCURE TUNES
WHO HAVE DREAMS ONE DAY TO
PUT A HOTEL ON THE MOON
AND TO CHARGE SEVENTEEN AND A
HALF PENCE FOR A ROOM
THEY ALSO DREAM TO HAVE A
SCHOOL AT THE TOP OF A SAN DUNE
AND TO GET IN YOU MUST BE
ABLE TO SPELL THE WORD BABOON
SUDDENLY THE SKY FRACTURED
AND IN THE SUN ZOOMED
INTO THE CAROUSEL EVENING AND
GOT TRAPPED IN A HOLY VACUUM
THE ANOREXIC MINISTER ARE
SAYING THE WORLD WILL END SOON
YOU'D BETTER PACK YOUR ZINC
DREAMS AND POLISH YOUR SPOONS

I'm really really weird.