About Me: I'm an artist. I've designed numerous tattoos for the Yakuza. With a can of spray paint, I left a mural that can be seen via satellite. My floral arrangements are da bomb, yo!

I'm a fighter. I enter myself into preying mantis fights and I always win by foot stomp. I've evaded arrest from the military, the secret service, the CIA, the FBI, and my mom. I knock out ninjas and pirates all day.

I'm a lover. Girls like me for my large esophagus. My lion-style mane has inspired all men to join my pride. Fish voluntarily attach themselves to my reel. And cops pull me over to compliment on my excellent driving skills.

Most importantly, I saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.