part four in a monologue series conceived and directed by shelly bort.
please let me know if you'd like to participate.

Monologue written and performed by: Krista Mensonides
Music: "October" by Eric Whitacre
Video by: Shelly Bort


"Four." by Krista Mensonides

"Get a life."
I've heard those words a lot lately; from the mouths of others, but mostly inside my own head.

"Get a life."
The phrase takes different shapes on different lips-an insult, a joke, a command. A whispered plea.

"Get a life."
From my seat in the midst of a slow motion existence, I absorb the tiny sting of each assertion. I cannot refute the claims.

I had one, once.
So how is it I ended up here, one hand on the pause button, one hand on my chest?
For a moment, light breaks through the haze of unmotivation. Dim. Remembered. A glimpse of what was, instead of something that is. And I discover something that takes my breath, shrouds me in cold realization.

The life that I had was not mine.

It was warm, and brightly lit, and full of lovely things, but it belonged to someone else.
And someone else can always deny you entry.
Take your key.
Break your heart.

Where do you go when the light goes out before you're ready to leave?

"Get a life."

I had one, once.
I was renting space in someone else's heart, but before that, I had my own.
My own heart.
My own life.

The thought brings the warmth back into my fingertips, a feeling long absent, but not forgotten.
Hope.
Promise.
Possibility.

I don't need to get a life-I already have one. It may be disused, and dusty, and broken, but it is mine, full of my hopes. My promise. My possibilities.

No matter who chooses me, or who chooses to take back their key-
My own heart will always welcome me home." (less info)