Ian Siegal performing I Ain't Drunk at the Upton-upon-Severn Blues Festival, 16 July 2006.

"You know, I used to have this woman - when I came home drunk she didn't have nothing nice to say to me. I couldn't understand it.

One time I came home and she said 'That's it, I've had enough of you, I'm out the door.'

I said 'Wait here and fix me just one drink before you go.'

She said 'OK, for old-time's sake I'm gonna fix you one drink. What's it gonna be?'

I said 'I want a Martell brandy in a pint glass, baby. Fill it to the brim.' Take no prisoners!

And sure enough she went off and she came back with the glass filled to the top - didn't spill a drop ....

She handed me this drink and I said 'No, baby, I ain't gonna drink it, I want you to drink it.'

She said 'You know I'm teetotal." I said 'Just take one little sip for me.'

And she took a sip and she spat it out on the floor, and she said 'Goddamn! How do you drink this stuff?!'

I said 'I know, you think I'm out every night having a good time, don't you?!' " (less info)