A demo version of "17 Uses for Puke," which will ultimately be a music video for Three Legged Race (see www.youtube.com/threeleggedrace).
Accompaniment is built on GarageBand.
More music is coming to my blog/demi-podcast, Sweet but Creepy (greglandgraf.wordpress.com).
Lyrics:
Seventeen uses for puke.
Seventeen uses for pu-e-oo-e-uke.
Seventeen uses, one-seven uses.
Seventeen uses for puke.
[One!]
Got an insect problem, just ralph on the floor,
And bugs'll stick to it like glue.
[Two!]
Or spread it on the ground around your lilac bush,
It's more fertile than cow poo.
[Three!]
If you're going bald just rub some on your head.
It'll replace the hair follicle.
[Four!]
Or throw some on a canvas and call it art.
It's awfully Jackson Pollack-al.
Seventeen uses for puke.
Seventeen uses for pu-e-oo-e-uke.
Seventeen uses, one-seven uses.
Seventeen uses for puke.
[Five!]
Put some in your fishing box
To freshen up your bait and tackle.
[Six!]
Or hurl into the cracks in your walls.
It makes a natural spackle.
[Seven!]
Use it for self-defense to fill your moat.
If you happen to own a castle.
[Eight!]
It can be used to fuel your SUV,
Though driving one makes you an asshole.
[Nine!]
As a pork chop griller.
[Ten!]
Or a meat loaf filler.
[Eleven!]
Ink your favorite quill or
[Twelve!]
Ward off Phyllis Diller.
[Thirteen!]
Give your shoes a shine.
[Fourteen!]
A zesty pickle brine.
[Fifteen!]
Massage your weary spine.
[Sixteen!]
Befoul communion wine.
Seventeen uses for puke.
Seventeen uses for pu-e-oo-e-uke.
Seventeen uses, one-seven uses.
Seventeen uses for puke.
(A new singer)
Now you're totally fucked,
You don't know what to do.
You don't have a way out,
You don't have a clue.
You're stuck at sixteen
And you don't have the skill
To add just one more,
And...
(Original singer)
Dude! Chill.
Break it down!
Kid, shut your yap
And sit there statically.
I'll tell you how to reach
Seventeen mathematically.
You just add one more use
Although it's pretty plain.
Simply use your barf
To lube your bicycle chain!
That is pretty broken down.
Seventeen uses for puke.
Seventeen uses for pu-e-oo-e-uke.
Seventeen uses, one-seven uses.
Seventeen uses for puke.
Seventeen uses for puke.
Seventeen uses for pu-e-oo-e-uke.
Seventeen uses, one-seven uses.
Seventeen uses for puke.
(less info)
