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I'm just a stupid adult like the rest of you kids out there. I do not like most of what goes on in the world and it has caused me to become a boiling pot of apathy. I guess I've just lived too long and have grown disillusioned with each of my attempts at goodwill or warmth...all of which prove to be largely futile in the grand scheme of things. Once full of vigor and drive, I now lay me down to sleep and lay my sympathy down to die a quick, painless death, while I struggle to come to terms with the fact that there is no way to change the world and steer it away from its current course of destruction.

And I am at a lost now, when coming up with reasons I don't hope for its destruction.

An overwhelming sense of oppression haunts me in this world, makes me want to go into a deep sleep and never wake up. It makes me drift day to day...I used to have hope for the future. Now I'm just floating through an intangible space of anti-reason.

I guess it just disgusts me - the way people treat each other. Most of them claim to be pacifists, protest against a war in which the participants are people they have never even met but claim to care about, while they'd stab their own friends and family in the back or talk trash about them without a second thought. Who on this earth really believes in human evolution? It's almost laughable. The only evolution I see is the evolution of carnal, selfish actions to become carnal selfish actions that are not accompanied by inhibition of any sort. I also see a dependence on so many things that it's obvious we would die instantly if natural selection was to take its course without the presence of our technology.

I make myself sick, everyone else makes me sick. Most things put a bad taste in my mouth. My futile attempts at selflessness will never be enough to change the world. I wish I could find someone else out there who understands these thoughts.