Blah Blah Blah, go PRACTICE CORRECTLY you worthless, lazy, useless slobs. Or just keep suckin' like Zakk "Just Roll Me in a Ditch" Wylde and the rest of this walking puke below

I ALWAYS KNOW BEST

Zakk Wylde (a.k.a. Jeffrey Philip Wielandt, a.k.a. rectal-discharge) fuckin sucks! He plays as though he has sausages for fingers. As does U2, the single worst band ever to have success. U2 -- those tone-deaf fuckers have countless albums and side projects and NEVER have they produced a half-way decent tune. Especially a tune that doesn't induce mass vomiting.

The last time I heard noise like U2 was when I walked by four alley-cats fighting in a trash dumpster. Bonehead Bone-o sings the way a lifelong deaf guy talks. U2 should go back to their very successful last job when they made car bombs for the I.R.A. Any and all morons who follow these two acts (a.k.a. loyal fans and other worthless acts like them as well as ALL the acts below) are clearly developmentally disabled and should be under constant adult supervision as well as wearing a helmet at all times. So shove that up your ass, all you talking monkeys!

Giving a guitar to Zakk Wylde and allowing him to procreate is like giving a gun to a chimp. I've heard Zakk enjoys making booze in the outhouse behind his shack home in the woods. Zakk has as much class and style as a used baby diaper burning in a vacant lot. Before Zakk Wylde I had never seen 6 feet of goat shit come to life and walk around. That repulsive, walking mucus, phlegm wad mother fucker would be right at home deep inside the nearest septic tank. Zakk plays with the same feeling and emotion as a medieval executioner doing his job. If you ever wondered what a shaved, adult size chimpanzee would look like, then look at zakk.

Rap/hip hop with complete conviction and without any doubt of any kind is the number one single worst creation in the history of modern entertainment. There is absolutely nothing in any way, shape, or form that is redeemable about this sewer-rat vomit and is many, many times worse than any other rat sewage I'll comment on in the medium.

And Prince sucks shit too. I've suffered through too much of that dwarf's material and still don't hear what's good about him. Maybe if my head was power-kicked by a mule, I would. His voice is as irritating and disturbing as the screeching whine of a cat in heat at 2 a.m.

Nirvana is another. Thank you Kurt Cobain for pioneering the way for countless millions of talentless junior high school dropouts, high school dropouts, I.V. drug users as well as all other kinds of drug users and alcoholics to make a living attempting to make "music" with absolutely and completely no technical or musical ability or normal/healthy brain function. I would also like to thank Kurt (or Courtney . . . or the garbage collector . . . the dog nextdoor . . . or whoever the fuck) for having good aim and putting Kurt (and the rest of us) out of our misery. Now Courtney, just put the barrel in your mouth and fulfill your purpose in life. That also goes for ALL of you alternative/grunge disease-ridden cockroaches and any and all subcategories and variations thereof -- you sickening, rotted meat-eating maggots.

My job here (as well as laughing my ass off at so many of you) is to educate every last one of you illiterate fuckin bastards and bitches, IF THAT'S AT ALL POSSIBLE, on any and all topics I see fit, starting first and foremost with guitar players and bands. I'm an equal opportunity ASSHOLE.

I am the sole person who will inform you as to who is truly talented (which is relatively very, very few) versus all the lying, bullshitting, incompetent, talentless, moronic, braindead fucks who feel they need to "share" and subject the world to their total and complete lack of ability so we all can suffer. Clearly, practically all of you are clueless and lack the cognitive ability to know the difference between what is quality talent and the shit coming out of your your ass.

And, since this is a terribly sad and disheartening fact which I'm forced to live with, the bulk of my comments will be in the form of strong critical attacks for all you putrid vermin to feed upon. Any typos or glitches in any fashion in any of my posts are courtesy of youtube and/or the uploader. So enjoy you filthy trash.

Here is a brief list of people who try to use a guitar but just plain suck and the sound they produce isn't even fit for the deaf: Eric "Arthritis Hands" Clapton, Jimmy "The Slop Bucket" Page, Carlos "Am I in Tune?" Santana, Zakk "Just Roll Me in A Ditch" Wylde.

Many times I'm asked to post some playing samples to "prove" to you gimps my abilities, which I've thought seriously about doing. But, upon further ponderance, I know there's a very small handful of highly skilled players who are comparable to me on youtube (some I've known personally) that 99.9999998% of you bird-brains are completely oblivious to. So really, in the end there's no reason for me to do so. Just continue to reinforce your own severe inadequacies and lying to yourselves about your own total lack of talent/ability while rereading paragraphs 8 and 9 ASSHOLE!!