Topic - I Watch Stuff - Probably The Worst Movie Blog You've Ever Seen

Here's the trailer for Metallica Through the Never, Predators director Nimród Antal's attempt at giving Metallica the 3D treatment they've until now only found in high school notebook margins. In the film, METALLICA ROCKS. Also, Chronicle and Amazing Spider-Man 2's Dane DeHaan gets in a van accident, police and rioters fight, and there's a guy on a horse, and somehow all that is ostensibly involved in the periphery of this concert experience. That's why the band can tell themselves this isn't...

Horrible Bosses 2 is still another year out, but if you're just looking for another Jason Sudeikis comic farce with interludes of Jennifer Aniston's overt sexuality, good news: you can have that right now with We're the Millers. Director Rawson Marshall Thurber's first comedy since Dodgeball, the film sees Sudeikis play a low-level drug dealer who gets roped into a big smuggling job. To raise less suspicion at border patrol, he employs neighbor/stripper Jennifer Aniston, street teen Emma Robe...

The idea of a carbon copy overlaid with Vince Vaughn didn't work so well for 1998's Psycho, and does not sound like a great idea anyway, but Québécois writer-director Ken Scott is nonetheless giving it another shot in the English-language remake of his Starbuck, Delivery Man. The original, only two-year old film centers on a man whose sperm donations have resulted in the births of over 500 children, who collectively file suit to learn the identity of their father. As you could probably have g...

It's only been a couple weeks since The World's End's first trailer, but already there's another with a ton of new footage from Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost's latest unlikely small-town happening. The film wraps up the trio's Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy, combining the zombie hive-mind of Shaun of the Dead and clandestine danger of Hot Fuzz with a new ostracizing threat: robots in human flesh. Not only that, there's now another hurdle to jump beyond a series of fences. There is...

Now that he's had a few sessions to work through all his various daddy issues, Superman is finally ready to move on and get to punching things in the latest trailer for Man of Steel. All the stuff about growing up, setting an example for man, and occasionally taking in a serene arctic daybreak has been dropped here in favor of showing the straight-up hero versus villain side of the tale. Zod comes to Earth, demands Superman's surrender, and Superman responds with a combination of exchanged pu...

Absent from filmmaking for over twenty years, Alejandro Jodorowsky has at last returned to haunt you with more violent imagery and sand with La Danza de la Realidad. In comparison to the director's most famous creations, the surreal cult films The Holy Mountain and El Topo, this looks fairly whimsical--you know, besides the immediate bucket of guts, but that's only to be expected. The film reportedly takes an autobiographical look at Jodorowsky's Chilean childhood, following in the Fellini tr...

With The Wolverine hitting theaters in just two months, 20th Century Fox has released yet another trailer for their ongoing saga of Hugh Jackman not singing. Based on a famed comic arc from Chris Claremont and Frank Miller, the film sees Logan visit Japan, where he faces death and sushi, which he's at first very reluctant to try, noting that raw fish sounds so gross. Later, though, someone finally tricks him into eating some, and once it's revealed what he's just consumed, Logan is surprised ...

Pretending for a moment that Larry King doesn't know anything about particle physics, dimensions, or planes of existence, Dan Aykroyd recently told Larry King what the hell is going on with Ghostbusters 3. Though the typically too-vocal actor hasn't been talking about the sequel much as of late, it's apparently still going to happen, even though Bill Murray is still a decided "no" for returning. Aykroyd didn't get into a lot of the details of the script, or offer any casting possibilities bey...

The Tudors star Jonathan Rhys Meyers is rumored to be the first newcomer to join Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford in seeing if people still enjoy space battles. Latino Review claims the actor "already has" a part in J.J. Abrams' Star Wars: Episode VII, bringing him back to his Mission: Impossible III director and a universe where Obi-Wan forces you to search your feelings. There's not yet word on what that the role may be, so your guess is as good as mine. Or maybe better, becaus...

As promised last week, Ricky Gervais's iconic manager is taking his inspirational teachings from edgy motivational speaking to music lessons with a new series, Learn Guitar with David Brent. Here's your first lesson, in which Brent sort of teaches a few chords, then debuts the full version of his new, "very personal" song, "Life on the Road." As this is a David Brent lesson, also expect to learn a little something about self-delusion and subtle tragedy. Bonus!

Still no new season of Curb, but this August, Larry David will at least give us an apparently more-hirsute form of improvised hysterics with the original movie Clear History. Premiering on HBO, the largely-ad-libbed comedy stars David as a marketing executive who gets into an argument with boss Jon Hamm and drops his 10% stake in their electric car start-up; disgraced when the company soon becomes a billion-dollar success, David's Nathan Flomm changes his name and retreats to an island, where...

Now one year since early Anchorman 2 teasers first brought everyone back together, here's a new teaser, with even more of the cast saying spouting catchphrases and/or showing symptoms of mental illness. Savor it, because the film still isn't coming out until Christmas. Also, in further Anchorman cameo news, turns out Drake shot a scene in the sequel this weekend, spotted Saturday choking Brick with a hockey stick. Apparently Degrassi didn't teach this guy his lesson about taunting troubled ou...

In Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim, giant monsters rise up from the Pacific ocean to wage war on man, and man responds by creating massive, powerful mech-suits to fight back the beasts. Meanwhile, in rip-off expert The Asylum's Atlantic Rim, that also happens, but due to trademark and budgetary constraints, now it happens in the Atlantic, the robots are controlled by looking like you're going bodyboarding, and the biggest star is Maverick and Die Hard 3 supporting actor Graham Greene. Otherw...

Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim continues to be exactly what its premise suggests with even more footage of giant robots fighting giant monsters. If that sounds like something you'd like to see for yourself, have a look below at the new "official main trailer." If not, know that you're missing out on this big-ass metal dude all like BOOOOOSH in this idiot monster's face.

Since returning from home with his guitar for Comic Relief back in March, David Brent hasn't given up on his music ambitions. Now Ricky Gervais's self-proclaimed "teacher, rebel, songwriter, rep" is following in the path of industry legend Dan Smith with a series of guitar tutorials. The first video will arrive next week, but in the meantime, here's a teaser with a sample of Brent's latest roadway-inspired cut, "Life on the Road." Maybe Steve Carell will show up on The Office finale tonight, ...

VHS--the spookiest of home video formats, forever haunted by the last half of Gremlins 2 taped off Showtime--returns to again plague our cushy, DVR-coddled lives in V/H/S/ 2. Like the original chapter of the horror anthology, the film uses the horror found-footage approach as a jumping point for finding some more, also horrific found footage, that footage being the most found of all found footage and, therefore, probably the scariest. The directors of The Raid, You're Next, Hobo with a Shotgu...

Born from a muddy CGI womb cradled amid Ghosts of Mars, 300, and a Sega CD cutscene from Sewer Shark, Riddick returns Vin Diesel to his role as a muscle-bound mole-man and drops him on a desolate, entirely Vin Diesel-colored planet. There, both bounty hunters and the even more dangerous native fauna threaten his existence, and Vin Diesel lifts his goggles real cool-like, like you can tell he's imagining Yello's "Oh Yeah" is playing. Here's the trailer. If you don't remember the last couple Ri...

Dancing birds. A dog's hindquarters uninterrupted by the puckered flesh of biological necessity. Have an unnecessarily loud, prolonged look at both these things with the first teaser for Blue Sky Studios' Rio 2.

Only 11 more days until Arrested Development's fourth season, and here are the new, amazingly-elaborate excuses Netflix has made for us to bring that up today. Firstly, we've got a website for analrapist Tobias Fünke's latest ill-titled business venture, InsertMeAnywhere. As its name nearly succeeds in implying, the site continues Tobias's acting ambitions with green-screened clips and photos of the Scandalmakers star playing archetypes that can be "inserted" over other projects. Options incl...

After years wasted falling in love with time travelers and forgetting who she's in love with, Rachel McAdams has at last found her one true high-concept romance in About Time. The film stars Brendan Gleeson's son Domhnall--better known as Bill Weasley--as a young man whose father (his Harry Potter co-star Bill Nighy) tells him he has the inherited ability to time travel back to any previous time in his life. Because this is written and directed by Love Actually's Richard Curtis, he uses that ...

Headed to Cannes shortly, James Franco's As I Lay Dying has first received a trailer to remind us which of the many sundry Franco things this is. In short: this is his adaptation of the William Faulkner novel of the same name, an American classic particularly notable for its stream-of-consciousness style divided among various narrators. Never one to avoid sticking James Franco in something, Franco casts himself as the most voluble narrator, and stars alongside Prometheus's Logan Marshall-Gree...

Frequently-featured video editor Zach Prewitt's latest montage makes us the passengers on a three-and-a-half minute thrill ride of chasing, racing, and occasionally smashing into robots with various motor vehicles. Mom driving us around is never this exciting! But it is more productive. We needed socks.

The ever-expanding Marvel universe will soon come to television, and to characters with less expensive CGI requirements, with ABC's upcoming Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. The series was recently given a series order following a pilot co-written and directed by Joss Whedon, and now there's a 30-second promo to give a taste of it. You won't get a lot of Whedon flavor from the brief spot, but you will get the exciting appearances of a cool plane and a cool car. Finally, Whedon has figured out how to wr...

The Bluths are all back, and it looks like they've got new model homes, new attention-grabbing vehicles, and new methods of comedically scalding one's hand. Sorry, Cornballer, but you and Steve Holt might not have made the cut. May 26.

The suicide of the family patriarch brings Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Ewan McGregor, Chris Cooper, Abigail Breslin, Juliette Lewis, and Dermot Mulroney together under one roof, to argue and scramble for lead and supporting award nominations, in August: Osage County. It also makes Benedict Cumberbatch cry his beady little eyes out. That's what happens when you don't let him have his Cumbernaps. Here's the trailer:

If you're one of these people who can overlook the difficult-to-look-at crimes Chris Brown and competitive dance have done with Rihanna, you might want to check out this trailer for Battle of the Year 3D. The latest 3D dance competition film stars Lost's Josh Holloway as a character that seems to be in the wrong movie--a down-and-out, presumably alcoholic former basketball coach who's fallen from grace, and now just sits around in sweatpants. But he's also GOT HEART, so, despite not having an...

Though complete weightlessness is quite often a risk with Sandra Bullock movies, the danger takes on a new, more literal interpretation with her latest starring effort, Gravity. Alfonso Cuarón's first venture into sci-fi since Children of Men, the film sends scientist Dr. Bullock and veteran astronaut George Clooney on a spacewalk gone awry, setting them adrift in the deepest expanses of space--into a dark silence where only Clooney's charming anecdotes from the set of the Ocean's series keep...

As first reported last summer, Disney will soon be extending the reach of its Marvel properties into feature animation. Naturally, they're starting with Big Hero 6, because that is everyone's favorite. Winnie the Pooh co-writer/director Don Hall is directing the project, and you can read a full synopsis and see the just-released first footage of the film's aptly-named "San Fransokyo" setting below. Don't get too excited, though: the studio says it won't be hitting theaters until November 7, 2...

Paul Greengrass's United 93 + Tom Hanks in Catch Me if You Can + the story of the Maersk Alabama hijacking + the part in The Life Aquatic where Steve Zissou is like, "Don't point that gun at him; he's an unpaid intern." = this: But what will Hanks do when a passionate but star-crossed romance forms between himself and a lower-class murderous pirate? Find out October 11.

Lurid, heavy-handed melodrama is pretty much the standard for Precious and The Paperboy director Lee Daniels, and judging by this trailer, it looks like his telling the story of a real-life historical figure isn't going to change that all too much for The Butler. The film features Forest Whitaker as Cecil Gaines, a butler based on a real man who for 32 years rose the ranks of the White House service staff, serving under numerous U.S. Presidents. What that means for this film is that he serves...

For the 93rd birthday of the late Saul Bass, Google has gone all out with their doodle for the legendary graphic and titles designer. The trendy AltaVista alternative has posted a short tribute video that works the Google title into several of Bass's most iconic title sequences, like Anatomy of a Murder, North by Northwest, Vertigo, and Spartacus. Pretty neat thing for fans of Bass and/or colorful limbs. Watch it in the embedded video below, or at dubya dubya dubya GOOGLE DOT COM on Internet ...

Here's the first trailer for The World's End, the final chapter of Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost's Three Flavours Cornetto/Blood & Ice Cream Trilogy. Each chapter is said to be tied to its Cornetto flavor--with Shaun of the Dead's red strawberry representing all the zombie gore, Hot Fuzz's blue cornetto standing for the police action--and now it looks like we can pretty safely say what the final episode's green mint chocolate chip variety stands for: aliens. Paul was just a relativ...

When aliens threaten another invasion against Earth, Harrison Ford suggests mankind find "a new kind of soldier. One who doesn't think the way we think, fear the things we fear--one the enemy would never expect." Instead of dogs or the mentally ill, they go with children, because that's the questionable creative decision Orson Scott Card made for his 1985 sci-fi classic, Ender's Game. As promised last week, here's the first teaser for X-Men Origins: Wolverine director Gavin Hood's adaptation ...

The IT Crowd is returning to television in a way that thankfully still won't be this discomforting US version. BleedingCool reports Graham Linehan has announced the show's long-promised finale will finally shoot in just a few weeks--by then almost three years since the end of the fourth series. Despite at least a couple of them now having Hollywood careers and other shows going, stars Richard Ayoade, Chris O'Dowd, Katherine Parkinson, and Matt Berry are all returning for what will be just a 4...

Hey, how would you like to play Drive as a Sega Genesis game? Man, so would I! Unfortunately, that is not yet a possibility. But at least now we can get the gist of what that might look and sound like thanks to John Fraser. He's put together an intro screen for such a game, complete with a chiptune version of College's "Real Hero" and flashing "PRESS START" graphic to forever taunt us with how this isn't a real thing we can play. It really should be, though. The jump-on-the-enemies'-heads mec...

It's only thirty seconds long, but this new spot for Man of Steel nonetheless manages to squeeze in some new footage while reiterating the massive scale of the film. Have a look below, but be forewarned: Kevin Costner is so epically fatherly, you're going to disown your own dad and start taking The Postman seriously.

Earlier this spring, Olympus Has Fallen stole White House Down's thunder by being the first film to warn Americans of the very serious threat that maybe someone will blow up the White House, and only one would-be Secret Service agent will have enough abs to help. So, White House Down seems to be changing its marketing strategy a little bit. As you'll see in this new trailer, no longer is the destruction of D.C. and kidnapping of the United States President such a serious threat. Now it's mere...

The first teaser for Ender's Game won't be here until Tuesday, but if you just can't wait to see what the director of X-Men Origins: Wolverine has done with that book you liked, here's a preview with a little footage and an introduction from stars Harrison Ford and Asa Butterfield. Ford references Google and YouTube with the conviction of having used them and knowing how they might relate. Guy's still got it.

What secrets were Mister Rogers hiding in his cardigan-filled closet? Get ready to find out it's probably just more cardigans with A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood, a biopic on the children's show host that reportedly just sold on spec to Treehouse Pictures. Details of the film's scope and story aren't yet revealed, and to look at Rogers' Wikipedia page, it's not all that easy to make-believe what the interesting angle will be. Rogers lived a healthy Presbyterian life of exercise and veget...

Returning to the sort of mock educational film format he used with such amazingly funny results for BBC2's Look Around You, actor/comedian/Darth-Maul-voice Peter Serafinowicz and Rober Popper made this short about constructing humans for our fantastic leader, Arpoovian Shebber-Shenty. You should now watch it below. It's fantastic. (Thanks, Kelly)

Due to Lego's continued insistence on not teaching kids to use their growing assembly knowledge to construct a meth lab, we will almost certainly never see Breaking Bad join the Lego family of spin-off video games. But thanks to animator Brian Anderson, now you can see what such a hypothetical game would look like with this amazing video that Anderson calls a "parody" but is really just "this is exactly what that would be, no other answers acceptable." So much harder to collect studs when eac...

It's taken seventeen years since the release of the Matt LeBlanc comedy Ed, but at last an international challenger has risen to challenge the baseball-playing ape superiority of the United States. Twitch reports this July will see the release of Mr. Go, a Korean film that improves on Ed's winning formula by making the baseball-playing primate larger, and by not making the film look immediately dated because Matt LeBlanc is the star. Here's a short teaser announcing this Korean gorilla's unde...

It's a lot like the other trailers we've seen, but now with pretty much no context and more dizzying action, more kisses, and more staring out the window of a moving train. Perfect for the Wolverine lover who is also a dog.

You saw Drive, right? So you know how Stunt Drive Action™ Gosling had that full-head mask to make him look like the smooth actor he was stunt driving for? Well, similarly, here's a stunt driver in a bald Paul Giamatti head-piece for The Amazing Spider-Man 2. As you may recall, Giamatti is playing Rhino in the film, so he'll assumedly at some point look more like Paul Giamatti's face sticking out of a rhinoceros pelt. But as the character begins as merely Russian criminal Aleksei Sytsevich, fi...

Despite their aggressive, nonstop marketing effort and the fact this Star Trek sequel is going to make a ton of money no matter what, Paramount remains worried no one is coming to see Star Trek Into Darkness, and they're going to look stupid in front of Benedict Cumberbatch. So, here are a couple some new incentives they've got to see the film. Firstly, in collaboration with IMAX theaters and Gallery 1988, those who see Star Trek Into Darkness on IMAX Wednesday, May 15, 8pm will be getting th...

We've already seen a few trailer for Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim. The original trailer, the commentary version, the Qualcomm-endorsing version, the one that was more explicitly a Power Rangers remake. Those were all lacking a few things. 1.) Shots of Charlie Day doing his J.J. Abrams-as-scientist character. 2.) Any scenes where a mech-suit hauls in a barge to use as a monster bludgeon. 3.) A giant monster getting his ears boxed. This one amends those errors, so enjoy.

While Iron Man 3 was out making $195 million overseas this weekend, here's what happened in the domestic box office: 1. Pain and Gain - $20 million. It's a weak opening by Michael Bay standards, but lucky for Michael Bay, he doesn't really worry all that much about standards. 2. Oblivion - $17.4 million, just as L. Ron Hubbard's thetan forever predicted. 3. 42 - $10.7 million. Hopefully this film's success will lead to similar biopics, so we can finally hear of Ken Griffey Jr.'s struggles wit...

Will Red 2 succeed as its predecessor did in being, you know, pretty fun, not really worth going out of your way for or anything, but better than you'd expect? Maybe! So it seems from this latest trailer, which trades out the denture and boner schtick of the last trailer for some better little character moments and more of Helen Mirren shooting things, which is always fun. She should really have her own hunting program.