Added: 4 years ago
From: effinfunny
Views: 313,161
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  • Society still see,s a female comedian in a different light? its risky for

    a woman to be vulgar and remain a lady. Men are allowed to be down right Nasty!

    and still walk away untarnished or stained. Double standard.

  • I'm in that crazy part of youtube again..

    

  • this wasnt funny it was informative hahaha

  • Every dude who says Jen isn't funny is a fucking douche-idiot, and will end up with girls who have no sense of humor and no orgasms.

  • I'm not Sexist in any way but my god i have not found a funny Woman Stand up comedian yet. it's all sex jokes

  • @GeorgeMillerAtkinson maria bamford.

  • Does she tell long jokes or fucking stories for a living?

    Goddamn - I'm still waiting to laugh.

  • Comment removed

  • sooo boring..

  • wow another female comedian talking about her body or relationships, what a surprise. can anyone tell me just one that doesn't?

  • fail

  • shes not funny

  • ohhh, poor lady. Just close eyes, shove hand "down there", pretend you playing Clare de Lune, switch to Flight of the bumblebee at appropriate moment. Job done.

  • this is awesome! im not alone!

  • As a female myself I found this story very easy to masturbate to.

  • Her Johnny Depp story is the best part.

  • She totally gets me.

  • so true

  • female comedians usually are pretty bad but this was awesome. and yeah she does tell her stories an awful lot like Louis C.K.

  • Most anti-climatic non-sense I've ever witnessed.

  • @InteractiveMail yeah, but that's how we think

  • that was 1 boring joke ppl 

  • I think it's sexy when a woman masturbates or talks about it

  • A lot of build up for not enough pay off

  • shes really funny on the pod f tompkast

  • not funny...

  • what the hell

  • She does her best Louis CK here. But it becomes her, luckily.

  • @jravell What? you think this sound anything like Louis C.K.? have you ever even seen Louis C.K.?

  • The only thing funny about this video is the comments of 16 year old guys that start with "As a girl I " or "As a female myself I"

  • @Blueynoes u killed it with dat comment i rate ya 4 dat

    nd u r ri8

  • @rlb4ever $p3l! R!gHt

  • The only thing funny about this video is the 16 year old guys posting comments on it that start with "As a girl I"

  • this is neither funny or relatable. so far the best of her "stand up" i have seen, though

  • she is awesome

  • how old is she here??

  • if there's a girl doing stand up about masturbation it 'll be sure to get some heavy views compared to that of an equally famed male performer. Talk about sexism.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • I thought I was the only one.

  • TELL US THE STORY ON ONI JUDGE!!!!

  • *LOL* .....

    Thanks for posting..

  • not very funny

  • That's why there's a storyline in porn! Men knows this!

  • ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzZzzzzzzzzz­zzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzz­zzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZ­ZZZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZzzzzZZZZZ­ZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzZZZZZZZz­zzzzZZZZZZZZzzzz.........ZZZZZ­zzzzz zzzz zzzz ZZZZZZ zzzz zzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz ZZZ zzzz ZZZ zzz ZZZZZZ.......................Z­ZZzzzzzZZZZZZzzzZZZZZ.........­ZZZZZZZzzzzz........mua? oh what? oh it's over? ? oh.......ZZZZZZzzzzZZZZZZZzzzz­zz..... mua? oh five minutes.....

  • @thSubliminalCriminal This must have taken you a long time.

  • @goodgrief78 it was worth it. xD

  • This clip gets 5x more views than any of jen kirkman's other unfunny shit on youtube, just cause she talks about touching herself and is marginally attractive. She shouldn't complain about being shunned for discussing masturbation, when this will probably be the high point of her career.

  • dude! this is just like me!!!! (:

  • Female stand ups..... Made me smile but that's it.

  • yep overthinking

  • Hey Kirkmen I guess your not a squirter.

  • women are not made for comedy! her monologue was interesting but in no way funny, I actually got turned on a little bit

  • Nothing flies anywhere? What about squirters?

  • lol same with me, i need a story not a picture

  • But women don't masturbate though, that is an urban legend.

  • I think she was at her best here. I feel like her routine has gone a bit downhill. I'm referring to "Chelsea Lately" stuff. She was more relatable here. She's kinda gone for a more confident, dominant stand up and I don't think it suits her.

  • that was good

  • no wonder women never jerk off...to fucking complicated.

  • OOOHHH MAH DICK MAH BALLS UUUUUUUUHHHH

  • i'd watch her masturbate

  • she's so tina fey

  • kinda funny but there's no real punch line, no real lmao moment

  • "I said masturbate very nicely and everyone was like 'uuuggghhh' and started freaking out!"

    WTF is she talking about? Show me one female comedian who ever did a set lasting longer than 5 minutes and didn't mention vaginas, periods, or sex at least once.

  • @PoliticalIncorrectly Yeah but if you take away the whole "we're not allowed to talk about these things, isn't that hilarious that we're all still so repressed, except you, 'cause you're a cool crowd!" bit, she'd have to start actually making jokes and being genuinely funny.

  • @PoliticalIncorrectly

    Sarah Silverman, Janeane Garofalo, Chelsea Peretti, Maria Bamford, to name a few.

  • @PoliticalIncorrectly somebody's a fucking moron!

  • PART2 You are suddenly embarrassed beyond belief as you realize you're standing in a checkout line clutching a half dozens boxes of lube and Jonny Depp is standing right behind you. Stammering for something you blurt out ''I got invited to an orgy . .. . my first. And as she was hanging up she said OH, and b ring something. bring something

  • OK here is your hook up. Wal Green sells your favorite lube. About 6 months ago they discontinued the lube. Today while visiting a cross town store you come on a whole cache of lube and on a moment's whim grab them all. While standing in line you hear some guy say "Got a big night planned?"

  • She is super funny!

  • First she's like; it's nothing big, no shit flying anywhere...

    Then comes the big ass mindfuck about needing a story XP..

  • Man, I searched "Female Stand Up Comics" on the search bar because I couldn't remember any actually FUNNY women in stand up, but this one was the first one I saw, and I guess now there's someone to remember.

  • oh my god, that is so completely true!

  • she didnt make me laugh once. she is a terrible comedian. is this a joke or a fucking anecdote.

  • @danieleatsbabies21 That's because you need a vagina to understand.

  • the audience sounds like a laugh track.

  • she has pretty eyes.

  • She describes it perfectly!!!

  • That ending was not worth the time.

  • @newsrim

    Sort of like sex. 

  • @Kaliske ahh yes the beautiful natural act of queefing haha

  • women are stupid

  • Hysterical. My all-time favorite masturbation routine! Now I'm a new Jen Kirkman fan. Gotta go watch the rest of her stuff.

  • @EllorasCave She's got an album on itunes. I listened to it a couple weeks ago. It's awesome.

  • God you guys are harsh, I thought she was pretty funny.

  • Jen is really good at telling this story, she does it well i like it a lot :-P

  • I think the only reason this has so many hits is because it has "female" and "Masturbation" in the same title.

  • Not very funny :(

  • @Curiner Given that Jen Kirkman has been making a living as a comic for quite a while I'd say plenty of people care. I'm not sure your not finding her funny is a valid argument for NOBODY finding her funny.

  • This woman is brilliant and hi-fucking-RAR-ious.

  • why dont they do real porn

  • crash and burn , 101

  • A woman telling jokes than only she enjoys. The irony is tragic.

    Not all truth is wit.

  • @Curiner well some people don't like women talking about that just like everything some people like it some people don't I sure don't mind

  • @mattdogg65 well like I said some people are gonna think it's funny and some people won't you can't please everyone

  • why do i think she looks like Tina Fey??

  • haha i totally get what she's talking about. funny woman~

  • Hella fine

  • she's hysterical

  • it was all part of her routine and a social commentary thing.

  • @164ItsAllAboutMe164 You really have no idea what you're talking about? When do you go on stage? Just curious. You seem to know a lot. So you must be a working comic. Or you're dumb.

  • Strangest thing, my music being associated with female masturbation...

    What the heck, I'll subscribe if you do too?

  • VAGINAS ARE ALWAYS IN CONTEXT. The context being I want to put my penis in them.

  • Is she preggers?

  • i was wondering the same thing

  • @devourerofbabies

    doubt it. Some women just like flowy shirts. Some women are afraid to show there body, thus, hiding it under an over-sized shirt...

  • It is funny, because I can visualize a picture O_O

  • WOW!! Some effin funny sh*t-- My new favorite..  What's up with the wierd/ insecure comments from the folks below...? Chill out--Just deal with it-- Ladies like to feel good down there--your mom prolly masturbated and didn't necessarily think about your dad..

  • women dont mastu****** LOL..biggest bullshit on the planet...keep telling yourselves that LOL

  • LOL As I girl I totally agree with her.

  • this is way too long of a story for a lame payoff. i hate female comics. except for maria bamfrod

  • @rollindts44 - Lol, yeah that is true. Maybe women have an overgrown "can't get to the fucking point" sphere in their brains. Sarah Silverman doesn't though!

  • Lmfao. Female masturbation is cute indeed. She's funny.

  • I'm gay and I kind of identify with this more than most gay guys... Dick pics just don't work anymore, gotta have a hot scenario of how you meet mr dreamie!

  • ........... that would make me mad if my girlfriend fantasized about other men and secretly masturbated to herself..... it'd be like........ automatic limp dick-itis

  • Two things: -itis means 'inflammation of,' which on the penis is probably a good thing...

    2) Oh yea, it's totally natural to only fantasize about 1 person 24/7. Thoughts like these are why people don't get in relationships! You can think about other people, you just can't act on it unless that's stated it's ok in your relationship.

  • @cobrawrestling1 Well chances are, if you've had a girlfriend, it has happened. It helps keep you attracted to who you're with, cause lets face it everyone gets annoying, even when you're dating them. It's good to have that moment of separation.

  • wow thats exactly what happens!! thought i was alone there :D

  • Lol. She keeps it real I think girls are hotter when they don't lie.

  • i hate how every video you watch there is a comment that some really cool guy writes saying " Bill Hicks is the best comedian ever!" and "George Carlin is the SHIT" its just like cool ive heard of them i dont care about your opinion

  • hahaha! i have the same problems! lol

  • JEN GIVES HEAD. Jen gives head!

  • GEORGE CARLIN IS THE SHIT ! But this chick is good too :)

  • ...Whoever laughs at this...sure laughs at dane cook too...if you wanna see a real Staund UP artist . one show man ...well : BILL FUCKING HICKS...GEORGE FING CARLIN ...

  • she bores the shit out of me...gaawd.......

  • eh either she has no talent or she's just trying to make some sort of feminist point. no real jokes in there

  • Hahahaha... wow. I find it hilarious that you think her jokes are "feminist". Dude, she's doing the Bill Cosby thing where she tells stories. Not everyone has to be Dane Cook. Just because she's a girl doesn't mean she's trying to make a feminist point. Jesus.

  • well then like i said, she has no talent.

  • Different strokes for different folks, dude.

  • joan jett?

  • Personally, I think she's funny. I'm a man but I still relate to a great deal of what she's saying. Don't get me wrong I can still rub out a handful of knuckle children to some skin flick when need be but, scenarios do help and bad ones do slow the process. I think she's amusing and insightful.

  • HAHAHA it always cracks me up when people start dissin girls when they do stand up rotines!! its awsomee someone should do a sketch of that!! i mean she doesnt even hav to open her mouth to get hit with a lighter on her head!! HAHAHA oh noo, a woman?? doin a rotineeee??? GET HEER hahahahahahahahahahahaha u guys make my day :)

  • Maybe men compare it to when they have to hire a plumber. They're just pissed that someone else can accomplish something in 5 minutes that they try to do for and hour and just fuck it up ;)

  • wow, she isn't funny. She's just talking on stage.

  • DIDNT EVEN CRACK A SMILE GTFO

  • groooooaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss

    shit,,,,,

  • "I need a story."

    What....guys can't read erotica? WTF.

  • This is educational actually, A great example of how stuck up bitches think, thanks for the insight

  • I was waiting for the punch line. nothing there

  • Maybe you just need to broaden your sence of humor. Its very funny, but i will give you that she takes a while to set it up.

  • she seems pretty predictable

  • I honestly havnt seen enouh of he comedy to make that kind of statement or refute it. I do like her based on this and the airplane though.

  • i do that too!!!

  • They need to masturbate..If they dont they might go insane..

  • Correct - "Women Don't masturbate"- THAT is an urban legend. Lots of women like to quite regularly. While thinking about Johnny Depp. Or Brad. Or Denzel.Or...you get the idea.

  • But women don't masturbate though, that is an urban legend.

  • LOL I see you got a thumbs down but i found your comment hilarious hahahaha. Thumbs up to you too.

  • ...I will have to send her a copy of my new book, "The Top 20 Most Needlessly Complicated Solo Fantasies For Neurotic Female Comedians". Chapter four is entitled "Going Deep With Depp: How Johnny Can Enter Your Stratosphere", and every copy comes with a box of Cadbury's chocolates and a free vibrator (batteries not included.-Sorry, ladies). I really think it will help.

    -Her, that is. Not the boyfriend.

  • so funny.. yes it is cute!

  • lol funny and very true. I laugh all the time at Dane Cook and other guys talking about this.

  • omg SO I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO FELT THAT WAY :o?

    hehe

  • i like to watch girls masterbate, it's really lovely thing.

  • thats lol and true

  • Not sure why you got two people giving you the thumbs down on a comment about chicks rubbin the nubbin especially considering the fact that the joke was about women masturbating anyway, but i gave you a thumbs up LOL

  • thanks dude out of ten thousand comments i get mostely negative back you made my week, really! a positive comment and thumb up thanks!!!!!

  • Anytime :)

  • this was a different kind of funny. it wasnt laugh out loud hysterical every second. but it was amusing enough just to see the way she thinks (at least for me). but i was kinda hoping for an amazing punchline to make up for such a long story.

    but at least i know one more thing about women...

  • oh my goodness over 4mins to get to the punchline...

  • Its called a running joke. Maybe you should try to expand on your comedic taste. Peace.

  • She reminds me of Winona Ryder

  • haha, she is so true

  • It's 4:28

    Fail...

  • it took 20 seconds to type and send my comment... do the math....i pass, you Fail :p

  • "mah dick mah balls"

    :D

  • she is funny and hot

    damn awesome

  • hilarous!!! keep speakin the truth girl!

  • Awesome! She's very real and ver inspiring. Keep it up!

  • nigga first learn how to spall myth then judge people by the masses

  • lmao! dude you can't even spell "spell"

  • I'm a woman and masturbate a lot. No myth. Trust me.