Oppositional Defiant Disorder * 4 of 4 - Behavior Modification Program Children

[ruthlessbutterfly616]

i have dealt with the bedtime routine but my problem is respect and school. he is in pre-k right now and he is expected to get 5 smiley faces a day to follow the rules and i am lucky to get 1 so i think this program will work great.. now it is on mom and i have to hammer down.. i have felt bad because he hasn't had an easy life but i have had him in a safe and stable environment for 2 years now and i am done with disrepect from my 5 year old so he stops teaching his little brother bad habits..

[ruthlessbutterfly616]

my son is five years old and right now he is on a low dose medication and still the meds are not working and they want to now add adreall to his body. And he is 5 yrs old. He has been diagnosed with odd and adhd. His dad has been in and out of prison so i do not want this condition turning into conduct disorder. i loved all of your videos. and as i am sitting here listening to your video.. my son hates disclipline so i am searching for something and thank god i think i have found it.

[annboylyn]

ODD= Leader

[Dare2bme71]

Great Information, I am going to buy the books you recommended. I have two Children with ODD, One has ODD and ADHD, the Other GAD ADD, and ODD, and the third Child has GAD but is also a Gifted Child as well. So I live with Noise, Chaos and Confusion as I call them, I am wondering how I can adapt your program to the three of them they are all three unique and challenge children with each having a different set of triggers, and motivators..

[MidlifeCrises]

@Dare2bme71 == To keep things simple, I'd put them all on the system. Modify your lists so that they best deal with the specific challenges of each. I'd create a special area (table, large towel to sit on....) where you sit with all three and do the system together. Youtube does not allow space for a thoughtful response, please email me if you decide to set up the system. I have several idea's that might work for multiple kids.

[gjbfn]

Thanks so much for posting yours vids. It's nice to see that there are other parents going through this and that I'm not alone. I very much want to try this method. At this point I am willing to try anything. One thing I wanted to ask - along with changing everything around concerning your daughter - was there any changes to her diet? Were you advised or did you try having gluten free foods? I have recently read somewhere that it might help - so I was curious...Thanks so much!

[MidlifeCrises]

@gjbfn == Hi there! I did make a few changes to her diet. Purchased water filter that filters out flouride from tap water. Cut way back on processed foods, tried to get better breakfasts down her (with adiquate protien) and cut out soda all together (for a while). I think processed foods, flouride, immunizations and sitting kids in front of TV's and movies... have a LOT to do with ODD.

[DaysFlyBy007]

-- I should add we can't just get him a babysitter as no one will watch him because he IS so defiant, violent and out of control. We are actually looking into respite care right now, at this moment he is in the hospital for the sixth time in two years. We are all just exhausted trying to deal with him. I have three 'normal' healthy wonderful children to think about here.

[DaysFlyBy007]

How do you do this if you have three other "normal" children as well? I'm wondering what I would do if my ODD son didn't have enough credits to, say, go swimming when the rest of us are going swimming? Would he have to sit out on the pool side? That would lead to a massive meltdown, and ruin the outing for everyone. Or would the whole family not go swimming, which is how we already do things but we are all sick and tired of having our lives controlled by his behaviors.

[MidlifeCrises]

@DaysFlyBy007 == Just thinking out loud here, maybe you could modify the program so it's a family affaire. I'm not sure how you would do that, I'd have to put some thought into it, but I'm thinking that's the way you need to go. I understand the amount of control that an ODD child has over the parent, and the whole point of the program is to take that control back, without drugs. Why don't you send me an email, tell me a little more about your family dynamics. I'll try to help.

[primerodimus1]

@DaysFlyBy007 According to John Rosemond, a child should be isolated, not ostracized when you are punishing him. So he should be included in all family gatherings. You need to find consequences that do not involve the entire family.

[primerodimus1]

You mention Ross W. Greene's "The Explosive Child." Your system is much different from Greene's. I have read several of Greene's books, and Greene doesn't have any faith in consequences for explosive, ODD children. Greene's argues that you can reason with children during calm moments. For instance, your daughter had a tendency to have a meltdown in a store when you couldn't buy her something she wanted. Greene would suggest that you could discuss this problem with her before shopping.

[primerodimus1]

And, through the discussion, you both could reach a solution that would prevent the meltdown.

[MidlifeCrises]

@CathyRN73  = You are welcome!

[JezebelDecibel]

I can see that if a parent followed your advice with their children, your program would get results. Congratulations as this is just the best approach.

[WickedMagik76]

Oh Thankyou Thankyou , I feel like I have a weight lifted. I am very excited to have this tool. I am very tired and stressed and the dynamics of the house is chaos. I have a younger child who is missing out on good things because of my sons behaviour do you recommend doing it with her too so it is ann even playing field or just my son?? She has temper tantrums but I wonder if it is copied behaviour though. I am a single mum who works and has to cut back hours as things have escalated.

[mountainmama52]

@MidlifeCrises

Already tries tonight and within a few minutes the atmosphere in my home shifted from dark to peaceful! It wasn't easy trying to explain to him and he bucked me at first but once he saw success he realized that i just wasn't that bad! Thank you so much and please pray that this works for us!

[mountainmama52]

As a single mom , I am running out of options. He has sucked the life out of me and I think perhaps sending him away is the best choice for now!

[MidlifeCrises]

@mountainmama52 = If you have not done so already, I highly recommend reading "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It was very inspirational for me, when I was in the same dark place as you are now.

Hang in there mama! This too shall pass.

[mountainmama52]

@MidlifeCrises

Thanks so much for your reply! My son bucked me on this all the way. He was crying telling me how overwhelmed he was. Once we started(Yes..I started tonight!) He saw that by doing a few things that are required of him anyway was easy enough. I am keeping my points for him a bit lower because he needs to have some success right now. Eventually I will increase. But in just a few minutes time everything seemed to shift from frustration to having some peace in my home. Thanks!:)

[mountainmama52]

@MidlifeCrises

Already tries tonight and within a few minutes the atmosphere in my home shifted from dark to peaceful! It wasn't easy trying to explain to him and he bucked me at first but once he saw success he realized that i just wasn't that bad! Thank you so much and please pray that this works for us!

[mountainmama52]

@MidlifeCrises

@MidlifeCrises

Already tries tonight and within a few minutes the atmosphere in my home shifted from dark to peaceful! It wasn't easy trying to explain to him and he bucked me at first but once he saw success he realized that i just wasn't that bad! Thank you so much and please pray that this works for us!

[mountainmama52]

when I discussed your program with him he had a fit, saying it would be too hard to work for his privilegesHe refuses to do it!

[mountainmama52]

Tonight we had another meltdown. we went 2 days and then once again I am taken over the edge! I am so overwhelmed that I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I am so tired of being called a bi**h and tired of the battles. All my 11 year old son wants to do is argue. He hit me with the phone because I said I was calling the police. I suffered from years of abuse by men and now this...it's really no different except that he's my son. Thinking of placing him in residential facility

[PinkPunkyKat]

Poker chips make good "credits". I wonder if I had ODD as a child becuase a lot of this fits me. I was diagnosed with AS at age seven and suspect I have biolar as well but I wonder if I also have ODD.

[MrRockswife]

just like to say you are an awesome lady and mother. keep smiling.

[MidlifeCrises]

@MrRockswife = thank you!

[mklu23]

my cild has been diagnosed wth adhd bipolar odd ocd. i really liked your videos and very excited ti try this method. He too can not do disaplin like i had growing uo and just takin tv for a week and etc like that dont work wither. So glad to hear about ur program. ill let u know how it goes. THANK YOU SO MUCH !

[MidlifeCrises]

@mklu23 = hope the program works for you =)

[cynamonskye]

Wow this is so great. My son is suffering from Tourette Syndrome and ODD. Where as the ODD is even worse. He started having really bad tantrums in school with kicking, hitting, spitting, and cursing at fellow students and even teachers. Most of the time he is being teased by other kids to the point where he has a tantrum. He is 8 now, and the schools prinicpal told me, that if he acts like this again, he will have him put into a psychiatry. So, I hope this here helps especially at home!

[primerodimus1]

@cynamonskye I was one of the class "outcasts" when I was in school. I had a very lonely childhood and I was pretty much friendless. People tell me to get over it since it was so long ago but it is hard to have faith in yourself, anybody, or anything when for twelve years people treated like you weren't fit to walk the face of the earth. Try to help your son as much as possible with making friends and having a social life. It seems that he is acting-out because he is lonely and frustrated.

[cynamonskye]

@primerodimus1

Well, after a hard year, it is clear that he does not have Tourette. He has Asperger Autism and ADHD. Everything is pretty much okay now. We are getting a lot of help, I took him out of his old school and now things are going great. He has a lot of friends to play with and is my little happy camper again.

[mkurth]

Thank you so much for this alternative form of "reprogramming". My son's ODD behavior has been spiraling out of control and I am at my wits end and had no idea where to start! Friends and family are pretty much pulling away from us because of my son's melt downs. People just assume that ODD kids' have bad parents that dont discipline them but, like you said, traditional discipline doesnt work the same. Thank you so much for giving me hope! Im praying that this will work with my son. =)

[ell2023]

Your videos are fantastic, thank you so much for sharing!

[Holscope]

I Hope this will be useful for all those parents who are experiencing this new disorder that has been created in our Modern World......

Goodluck and thank you again for your recent comments.

LOOKING FOR A RAINBOW!xxxx

Susan/Holscope

[NYanarchy08]

Created...or invented? A "disease" that makes people resist authority. How convenient. I can't imagine any way this could possibly go wrong...