Is Oral Sex Safe Sex? A Gay Man Speaks Out

[natalino177]

why do ppl even use condoms for anal xD like isnt it in the vagina that the cum must go O.o im rlly curious

[natalino177]

may i ask a question ? is it safe to have sex with a condom ? if yes , please explain why

[AIDSvideos]

@natalino177: This is Eric; I'm not a doctor. Having sex with a condom is safer than having sex without a condom because the condom reduces the risk that various sexually transmitted diseases will be transmitted. The latex is a barrier to the passage of viruses and bacteria. Note that it is not a 100% guarantee against transmission of HIV but it greatly reduces the risk if used correctly every time.

[ligable]

Regardless of what statistical data is present - do people just not value their own health enough to say to an easy 'root' - 'wrap it before I suck on it'? I always do and will never allow anyone to put my own health at risk, period. You're worth more than that, guys!

[Xcorgi]

At least it's safer than a disease breeding nasty old vagina.

[DavidJosephDanbee]

Thankyou for talking out of your ass. THERE HAVE BEEN NO DOCUMENTED CASES OF HIV TRANSMISSION THROUGH ORAL SEX. Anyone who have had oral sex only, have not contracted hiv, and those that say they did oral sex, have done other things as well. I am going to volunteer for HIV causes, but you did not give completely correct info.

[AIDSvideos]

@DavidJosephDanbee: David: We are relying upon the CDC as our source of information. "There have been a few cases of HIV transmission from performing oral sex on a person infected with HIV." -- U.S. CDC, "HIV Transmission," accessed 12 Sept 2011. If you disagree, take it up with the CDC.

[DavidJosephDanbee]

@AIDSvideos I have seen those reports. Those same liars claimed afterward that they did have unprotected anal sex. Sorry for the harshness to you. The CDC only reports what people say, and those people lied.

[mrwonderfulman2011]

@AIDSvideos Visit medhelp.com ... there are EXPERT MDs that specialize in HIV/STDs and they say (DR. HHH/DR. HOOK) there are NO reliable scientific sources that link HIV transmission to ORAL sex!!! Take a look at their forum! IF you do not completely agree with them, go and take it up with the medhelp.com experts!!!! I have been researching this for years now and have asked these experts the same questions ... and they confirm that oral sex is NOT a risk for HIV!!

[AIDSvideos]

@mrwonderfulman2011: The CDC has expert MDs too. Here's what they say. "Yes, it is possible for either partner to become infected with HIV through performing or receiving oral sex. There have been a few cases of HIV transmission from performing oral sex on a person infected with HIV .... Studies have shown that latex condoms are very effective, though not perfect, in preventing HIV transmission when used correctly and consistently." [CDC, "Can I get HIV from oral sex?"]

[AIDSvideos]

@mrwonderfulman2011: See our video "Some Ways You Can Contract HIV and the Risk of Each One" for details.

[mrwonderfulman2011]

@AIDSvideos I have spent $20.00 to ask an expert (Dr. H. Hunter Handsfield) a question about HIV transmission during oral sex. Here is what he had to say: "To catch HIV, you have to be exposed to it -- and the chance any particular escort has HIV is very low, assuming you are in the US or other industrialized country ...

[AIDSvideos]

@mrwonderfulman2011: Great, so you paid $20 to have an "expert" make a sweeping generalization that's very much open to question (how could the doctor know the rate of HIV infection among "escorts" in all industrialized countries? what's the doctor's definition of "escort"?) and minimize the risk posed by sex with sex workers. Even if the risk is low, you'll still be really unhappy if you're the one who contracts HIV!

[mrwonderfulman2011]

@AIDSvideos I see where you're going with these statements! You say that there is a risk, but even though it might be 1/20000, it is still a risk big enough for you! We'll that's fine, but that is enough information for me to say that oral sex is an EXTREAMLYYY, EXTREAMLY low risk and I shouldn't spend the rest of my life dwelling over the fact that I have had unprotected oral sex. There never has been a any reliable, documented case with oral sex and hiv transmission.

[AIDSvideos]

@mrwonderfulman2011: You're ignoring the CDC statement I cited previously. I repeat: "There have been a few cases of HIV transmission from performing oral sex on a person infected with HIV" [CDC, "Can I get HIV from oral sex?"] When you arbitrarily choose to ignore the cases identified by the CDC, that of course enables you to believe whatever you want to believe. At your own risk, of course.

[mrwonderfulman2011]

@AIDSvideos Okay, now I really believe you don't know too much about HIV transmission at all!! Even my own family doctor and nurses that work at sexual health clinics consistently report that kissing and hiv transmission is COMPLETELY safe. To my own judgement, and I am not a doctor, but rely on expert conclusions only, believe that if you stick to kissing/oral sex and have protected anal/vaginal sex, you are practicing safe sex. This will be my last comment to you.

[AIDSvideos]

@mrwonderfulman2011: You're not paying attention to what I'm writing. I did not say that light kissing on the lips poses a risk of HIV transmission. CDC, and my web site (see "FAQ" on the AIDSvideos site) are clear about that. I wrote "There has been a documented case of HIV transmission just from *deep kissing* when both parties had gum disease or bleeding sores." Look it up. It was an unusual case of intra-familial transmission from an older female relative to a younger female child ...

[mrwonderfulman2011]

@AIDSvideos Look this one up ... Dr. Edward Hook states: "Kissing is no risk for any STD (including HIV), even deep kissing and even with gum or dental disease. The quoted figure for HIV risk, if one has oral sex with an infected partner is less than 1 in 10,000 and, in my estimation that is too high. Some experts state there is no risk at all from oral sex." You're hitting a brick wall here and the evidence you provide is limited. Cheers!

[AIDSvideos]

@mrwonderfulman2011: I'm not hitting a brick wall. I'm hitting (1) a YouTuber who very much wants to believe that oral sex is 100% safe, CDC statements notwithstanding, and is making selective use of experts, quotes, and data; (2) a single medical doctor who is making public statements that underestimate the risk of HIV transmission in some situations and contradict both the CDC's official determinations and known, actual documented cases of HIV transmission in the literature.

[AIDSvideos]

@mrwonderfulman2011: [cont'd] ... in a culture where deep kissing between such family relations was considered a normal behavior. Unfortunately, the older relative was HIV+ and both had gum disease and/or bleeding mouth sores, and a documented HIV transmission took place. I did not say that light kissing on the lips risks HIV transmission. (It doesn't.) I said your claim that oral sex is completely safe even with mouth sores and ingestion of blood was irresponsible b/c unsupported by science.

[mrwonderfulman2011]

@AIDSvideos continued "... And HIV is rarely if ever transmitted by oral sex -- some experts believe there is no risk at all, and others estimate a risk of 1 in 20,000 for oral to penile transmission. That's equivalent to receiving oral sex by HIV infected oral partners once a day for 55 years before transmission occurs -- and maybe not even then." Dr. Handsfield is an HIV/STD expert and I trust what he says, if you should disagree with these statements, then contact him!!!!

[AIDSvideos]

@mrwonderfulman2011: Actually, I'm not on call to track down random doctors on the Internet and start arguments with them.

[mrwonderfulman2011]

@AIDSvideos I'm not suggesting arguing with anyone my friend. I am just providing additional medical sources/experts that have worked in the HIV/STD field that provide some actual scientific research/data that support the fact that HIV transmission and oral sex is an extreamly low to no chance. It is clear to my me, that anyone who has reported having oral sex and contracting HIV are those who have been involved with unprotected anal/vaginal transmission too and who knows what else???

[AIDSvideos]

@mrwonderfulman2011: Some have argued that all of the cases in which oral sex-only HIV transmission was reported were cases where the people had sex in other ways but were not admitting it. However, the CDC has concluded that there are specific cases where the evidence for oral sex-only transmission is compelling.

[mrwonderfulman2011]

@AIDSvideos Also, according to another medhelp.com HIV expert (Dr. Edward Hook) claims: "As you know from other posts about oral sex, our stance is that giving or receiving oral sex is not a risk for HIV. Some others suggest that there is an appreciable risk of HIV from oral sex however, there are no convincing scientific reports which support these statements. The presence of a burn in your mouth, or a sore, or ingestion of blood does not change this."

[AIDSvideos]

@mrwonderfulman2011: This statement is irresponsible. There has been a documented case of HIV transmission just from *deep kissing* when both parties had gum disease or bleeding sores. Therefore it seems highly irresponsible to make a blanket statement that oral sex poses no risk for HIV (contradicting the CDC), even in the presence of a sore and ingestion of blood (more irresponsible still).

[omarguadiana02]

eww

[TheDNA36]

wow! that all i can say.. glad i watched this video

[imjamielightfoot]

How big to these 'open sores' have to be? I had a canker sore/ulcer but it was quite small and in a difficult place to reach. I wouldn't say it was particuarly active, it went away soon after I had performed oral sex on the man.

[shenzhenprostitute]

@KooturKoot Many heterosexual men also go to gay bathhouses because it's a lot cheaper than what female prostitutes charge.

[g0ysorg]

That's a guy? OK. Here are the stats according to the CDC: AnalSex is +5000% more perilous than 0ral. Having 0ral with a guy who does NOT DO GUYS WHO DO ANAL is +25,000% safer than AnalSex.

Guys who do NOT engage in AnalSex nor 'do' guys who do Anal are called 'G0YS' -spelled w. a zer0.

G00GLE G0YS to see what real M2M Affection looks like when combined with an immovable RESPECT for MASCULINITY.

Being a guy who loves guys doesn't mean you need to be a ButtSlut. Go G0Y, guy...

[AIDSvideos]

@KooturKoot: "HIV naive" = "has never been exposed to HIV."

[Jibjub80]

There is one other thing I would like to add.  Although oral sex is not risk free, I believe that unprotected oral is a bit less dangerous than protected anal. This is because rubbers are only about 80-85% effective. Anal increases the chance of condom failure. My advice to anyone would be to completely avoid anal sex, even with condoms. He should focus more on that than the possibility of contracting HIV through performing oral.

[shenzhenprostitute]

@Jibjub80 Anal sex is safe with a condom and using lots of lube will prevent the condom from breaking.  Also, performing oral sex without a condom is safe (provided you don't have any open sores or bleeding gums). Lets stop spreading misinformation.

[AIDSvideos]

@shenzhenprostitute: You're oversimplifying. Yes, using a condom REDUCES the risk of HIV transmission during sex (but it doesn't eliminate the risk--avoid absolute black & white terms like "safe;" they're misleading). Oral sex without a condom is LOWER RISK than some other practices such as anal sex, but not completely "safe;" it can transmit HIV as well. Using lube doesn't guarantee the condom won't break. You seem to be succumbing to wishful thinking due to your desire to believe you're safe.

[shenzhenprostitute]

@AIDSvideos You may possibly be technically correct. However, I have read that statistically speaking if a man performing oral sex on a HIV infected man, the chances of him catching HIV is 1 in 10 thousand (or 1 in 40 thousand in other reports). Source : google last name Kull or Krull (HIV forum web site). I would guess that those 1 in 10,000 or 1 in 40,000 probably got it from bleeding gums, as saliva creates a hostile environment for STDs. I would speculate that if gums okay, then okay.

[AIDSvideos]

@shenzhenprostitute: Watch our vid "Some Ways You Can Contract HIV and the Risk of Each One" for estimates of transmission risk for various sexual practices. Obviously you've looked into the issue. You're correct that mouth sores/wounds increase transmission risk. Not sure "gums OK, no risk" is true--and how would you know every time for sure if your partner's gums are OK? Glad you do some things to reduce risk. But be real w/ yourself that you're not at zero risk. Ask yourself: Is it worth it?

[shenzhenprostitute]

@AIDSvideos You wrote "how would you know every time for sure if your partner's gums are OK" ... Please read my previous comment again (but this time more slowly) - When I said 1 in 10,000 or 1 in 40,000 I am referring to the chances of the person who is performing oral sex on the man, not the one receiving it. The person that is performing oral sex would know if he himself has bleeding gums or not. People know about their own bodies, I would think so.

[TickleMehNancy]

@AIDSvideos There have been a few studies where they monitored couples where the male was positive and the female was negative over 2 years and the couples said they didn't use condoms for oral and used condoms for intercourse and the female did not seroconvert at all.The only cases they have where the person became positive due to oral sex are due to stories. Never in a controlled situation did it occur. But there is probably a minuscule risk. For the receiver there is a theoretical one only

[AIDSvideos]

@TickleMehNancy: Actually, there have been a few cases documented by CDC researchers where it is believed that HIV transmission occurred via oral sex. See our vid "Some Ways You Can Contract HIV and the Risk of Each One" for risk estimates.

[TickleMehNancy]

@AIDSvideos I am sure that is true but the researchers got their data from the people telling them that they got HIV from oral. That is what I am saying. In controlled/viewed studies it never occurred. The CDC also states kissing can pose a risk of infection but that never occurred. Like I said, I am sure there is a small chance of this occurring but I know guys who gave oral to many people and are negative. It is a very tiny chance. RECEIVING oral is theoretical.

[Jibjub80]

I'm aware that oral sex is not a no-risk activity, but I think that he is stretching things a bit. It is not impossible, but difficult to contract HIV through oral sex, unless a person has an open wound inside his mouth. Then, it could be dangerous. I do get a bit scared of the possibility of herpes (which he forgot to mention). He's being a bit disgusting talking about "putting feces into one's mouth."

[AIDSvideos]

@Jibjub80: Watch our vid "Some Ways You Can Contract HIV and the Risk of Each One" if you want numerical estimates of the relative risks of HIV transmission via different sexual practices.

[driz27]

is he talking about the insertive partner or receptive partner, which is safe?

[AIDSvideos]

Neither partner is "safe." Oral sex between two partners (regardless of the sex of each) can transmit HIV. See our vid "Some Ways You Can Contract HIV and the Risk of Each One" for details.

[SnugOFP]

Rest in Peace Bud :( Sorry to hear he died. He was a hell of a fighter. Heck I have done something tonight that could only in theory transmit HIV and im kickin myself and nervous. I can't imagine how stupid people would have to be to not use condoms with oral sex.

[Jibjub80]

@SnugOFP Thanks for the very nice compliment and the namecalling. Your response is victim blaming. It is true that oral sex is quite a low risk activity (in terms of getting HIV anyways). This guy is being very gross and stretching things a bit.

And you say that this guy was a fighter, but it looks like he did not follow his own advice.

[Olekander]

That's largely true.

[grafplaten]

why does he refer to hiv negative people as "hiv naive"?

[AIDSvideos]

It's a synonym meaning a person who has never been exposed to HIV.

[666DTL666]

Thank you so much for this information. We will use it at our next rehearsal!

[EatY0urTV]

ah, HELLO! this is not simply a "gay man", this is a crossdresser, and the two are absolutely NOT the same thing! TRUST ME!

[kse6063]

What would you say about kissing.I am 15 i like a girl who is 14 and hiv positive. I have heard from lotf of places that kissing is alright, my mom found out and flipped on me. So isnce you are living with hiv/aids and you know for years of personal expirience is kissing safe?

[AIDSvideos]

This is Eric; I'm not a doctor. "Because of the potential for contact with blood during "French" or open-mouth kissing, CDC recommends against engaging in this activity with a person known to be infected. However, the risk of acquiring HIV during open-mouth kissing is believed to be very low. CDC has investigated only one case of HIV infection that may be attributed to contact with blood during open-mouth kissing." [CDC, "HIV and Its Transmission"]

[AIDSvideos]

Other things to consider: (1) If an HIV+ person has any open wounds or bleeding sores on their mouth, lips, or tongue, that could increase the risk of HIV transmission, so an HIV+ person with those issues should inform their partner and discuss. (2) Make sure you know the laws about age of consent, etc. in your area and obey them. (3) Talk to your parents.

[AIDSvideos]

The CDC also says in the same document that "casual contact through closed-mouth or 'social' kissing" doesn't pose a risk of transmitting HIV, but for some reason YouTube's comment feature isn't letting me post that quote.

[Olekander]

@kse6063 There is only a theoretical risk. No research has proved it. There are no recorded examples. The only way you are going to get it, is if, sexual fluids, blood or breast milk gets into your blood stream. Saliva does not carry enough of the virus to infect other human beings.

[Pentdad]

I think you need to balance pleasure with worry, and so I would never have a dirty person sucking me. But say a nice well presented person can certainly have a go, since the chances of getting anything are slight and to be honest I think its worth the risk.

[AIDSvideos]

You're making a dangerous error by assuming there's some kind of strong correlation between a person being "dirty" and their risk of transmitting HIV to you. A person could look like a supermodel but have contracted HIV one month earlier and be in the throes of primary HIV infection during which they're most infectious. There's no way to tell a person's risk of transmitting HIV to you by looking at them. If you choose to be sexually active use a condom correctly every time.

[grafplaten]

@Pentdad looks can be deceiving--a dirty, unwashed person could easily be free of any diseases, whereas a clean, attractive person could have any number of diseases--not all are readily visible, you know...

[SEXYmikey321]

omg my boyfrinds in us is hiv

[stevensillygoose]

ooooo..syphillis would suck in the mouth!

that means u too ladies! DO NOT GIVE YOUR BOYFRIENDS HEAD!

[sweetcharlie63]

ok if I have oral sex with a guy that's negative, but I'm not; and I don't fool around with any one else and neither does he; and he never goes down on me,but I go down on him. I have clean teeth and gums, no bleeding. So, what are the chances of me passing HIv on to him?

[AIDSvideos]

This is Eric; I'm not a doctor. See wikipedia article on "HIV" and our video "Some Ways You Can Contract HIV and the Risk of Each One." 1 chance in 20,000 per occurrence without a condom. [Varghese et al (2002). "Reducing the risk of sexual HIV transmission: quantifying the per-act risk for HIV on the basis of choice of partner, sex act, and condom use". Sex. Transm. Dis. 29 (1): 3843.] e.g. if this is done 200 times, that's a 1% chance of transmission. Using a condom will greatly reduce risk.

[MisterSister420]

As someone who contracted HIV orally back in '93 from my ex (I discovered during our relationship that he'd lied to me about his HIV status, which I'd asked him about when we first met), I know that it's not "practically risk-free" as many gay men would simply LOVE to believe. I'm glad that people are finally learning the truth about this - when I first tried to warn my gay friends after my diagnosis they didn't even believe how I caught it - they were sure that I lied about not having anal sex.

[jbro15]

So if you contracted HIV orally, do you recall if there was ejaculate or just pre-cum involved? Did you spit? swallow? This is a common fear among those who are at risk. They don't know if pre-cum alone does it, or if it's just ejaculate. He must have seroconverted at the time (going from HIV- to HIV+) or he must have had a big viral load.

[MisterSister420]

Hi Cass! I'd just like to say that I love your style and your vids - very informative and blunt, keep up the great work! I found out that I was HIV+ after breaking up with my ex (who, I discovered during our relationship, lied about his HIV+ status) and we only had oral sex, not anal. You wouldn't believe the disbelief from my gay friends when I tried to tell them you CAN catch HIV from oral - they simply didn't want to hear that. Now, at least, many people know that it's somewhat risky to do.

[mangostavia]

I knew there was a small risk of HIV transmission through oral sex but i thought there was only one reported case. i know that the risk increase when there are open sores or cuts and with sexual activity four hours before or after brushing your teeth.

[AIDSvideos]

This is Eric; I'm not a doctor. There are multiple documented cases of HIV transmission that was believed to have occurred through exclusive exposure via oral sex (although the number of such "documented exclusive oral exposure" cases is not large). See our videos "What's the Risk I've Contracted HIV?" and "Some Ways You Can Contract HIV and the Risk of Each One" for details.

[Ben3654]

I love this guy, but i love how everybody that talks about it being risky doesn't distinguish the level of risk between having an ejaculation take place in your mouth or not. Nobody talks about if you're at higher risk by swallowing/vs just licking... I personally don't go for the gold when i'm down there... unless there's a ring on my finger and we've been to the clinic! So how come nobody touches onthe difference? Anyway, don't have sex at all people... it's obviously not worth it. !!!!!!

[tristan01101]

Wow. This guy is awesome.

[globehunter2]

Would you lick a toilet? would you lick a floor? then why put a risky penis into your mouth, that can bring far more horror,s into your body. Sex is a thriller or a Killer!

these days so be careful who you have it with.

[spasiboalisher]

@globehunter2 yes, that is really smart! So You do not suck at all orsucking in condom? Which is better? Is Your partner still will enjoy if his dick in condom? thank You

[MamaMario13]

@globehunter2 yes u should try to be monogamous despite gay stereotypes

[TheRogueMonk]

i am not gay but is the mouth clean enough normally for oral sex? .. iam not talking about people who have aids or anyting jus ta normal person you know if you want to have sex with them and they dont have any disease.. is themouth clean enough?

[SylvanoDeMedici]

We take more care what we put into our car's petrol tank than what we put into our mouths as we have no idea where the guy we are pleasuring has been and what germs he carries. In backrooms we cannot make a visual check but even if we could, we could not tell how healthy he is as this requires a microbiologist to conduct tests! If it's in your mouth it's in your body and whatever he is carrying you get. Not just HIV, but its ugly sisters, Lady Syphilis, Duchess Gonorrhoea and Empress Hepatitis.

[PhilipRochester]

This is a very difficult issue to get one's head around as I do not know of a single gay man who uses condoms for oral sex despite there being an established risk of infection with HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhoea, Herpes, Hepatitis, Genital Warts et al. It seems that unprotected oral sex is a risk all gay men are prepared to take and this poses a parallel wave of HIV transmission of unknown percentage. There are many strains of HIV that are mainly transmitted orally so I'm keeping my mouth closed!