The Onion News Network's Suzanne Sena on Brooke Alvarez' aspirations

[MrPentatonicScale]

she never actually said the onion was fake, just confusing. the onion is just as real as fox or cnn

[huuuubaah]

She's awesome! Great personality, Love her!

[JTMondal]

I woud hit it!

[CamNM1991]

She fucking looks good in 240p, can't imagine her in 1080p

[dudesonman4200]

After watching several episodes of the ONN, I quickly fell in love with Brooke. I then proceeded to creepily research her, and in doing so, I actually found out that she and I share the same birthday, April 2nd. Clearly, The Gods Have Spoken. It doesnt matter that we are 31 years apart

[devourerofbabies]

@dudesonman4200 You're 80 years old?

[dudesonman4200]

@devourerofbabies

Shes 48 and Im 17. Just in case you didnt realize btw, I was being sarcastic

[owlandtree]

She would destroy Ann Coulter and I would love to see it.

[ironjoker420]

she is ether a genius or fliping NUTS! my vote is genius! ;o)

and she is gorgeous!

[knuckles91444]

does she talk like a news anchor 24/7? i wonder what she's like during sex..

[kaokengoku]

wolf blitzer isn't hot though. hmmmm i think the comparisons are flawed

[lsmftymf]

Suzanne Sena makes Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers and most allegedly legitimate news anchors look like a bunch of rank amateurs.

Brooke Alvarez, I love it when you curse in Russian. XOXO

[eddiebaba]

milf!

[owlandtree]

Brooke Alvarez has a battalion of Eunuchs on standby at her compound-in-orbit. She uses babies blood to power her shuttle to-and-from work six times a day. When asked about the apparent lack of morals in powering her vehicle with babies blood, Brooke commented that "I am sick of these freeloaders, it's their turn to give me a ride." Brooke is hot, but she wouldn't screw me with Suzanne Sarandon's vagina.

[HomleandSecurity]

@owlandtree unfunny

[owlandtree]

@HomleandSecurity Sorry, you got the monopoly on yuck, yucks and knee slappers, chumley. You go on with your bad self, oh officianado del comico. Stephen Colbert already is doing your act.

[HomleandSecurity]

@owlandtree It looks like I touched a nerve. It broke your frail beta male ego into pieces. Your reply is my victory.

[owlandtree]

@HomleandSecurity Sorry, to offend, I call em like I see em. Don't be a hater. Your victory is learning to wipe from front to back today, don't lie.

[HomleandSecurity]

@owlandtree Unfunny comeback.

BOOM! Done, son!

[owlandtree]

@HomleandSecurity Nice trying to rip off Steven Colbert's schtick.  Unoriginal much?

[szatmar666]

@owlandtree Colbert is an advanced undergrad course in political satire, ONN and Onion is grad school. Just for the record: The Onion is doing political satire since 1988.

[szatmar666]

@owlandtree BTW, the real story goes this way: The Onion started political satire in 1988, then in 1996 they spun off Fox News which is so good that many liberals still believe it's for real and finally Stewart and Colbert, tired of how slow liberals are gave them an undergrad level digest ;)

[owlandtree]

@szatmar666 Those evil LIberals. Those commie, darkie=luvin Liberals are the reason bad things happen in the Universe. Obama, the nazi, evil emperor of macabre, is responsible for $7.7 Trillion in debt. You want to see how dumb the Neo Cons are watch "The Yes Men Fix the World". They fooled many big corporations into tipping their hands. Stewart and Colbert not running for Prez or even pundits. Cain is so gone. Bachmann is still waiting for US emb in Iran to be evacuated; "Hurrrry"!

[owlandtree]

@szatmar666 Bushes $7.7 Trillion TARP bend-over was the icing on his fattening cake. Obama took the brunt of that Fallout. Who could recover from that? Not our economy. Nationalism is dead. USA voters are easily manipulated into being pacified, while Congress creates tax breaks and loop holes for Corps to outsource to nations with less educated ppl and fewer laws. THANKS RONNIE RAYGUN, the rest of the nation may have memory loss, but I don't! No Freedom Fries hysteria for Iran war!

[szatmar666]

@owlandtree I agree with most of that except that "Obama took the brunt of it". He had a chance in April of 2009 to change Bush's fiscal policies, his monetary policies, the military spending level etc. He didn't do any of that. Unlike EVERY pres in my lifetime he left the taxrates, interest rates and all major econ policies of the opposite party in place. Clinton at least raised taxes with only 50 votes in the Senate in 93. Americans R bent over and that broomstick is bipartisan.

[owlandtree]

@HomleandSecurity Of all those comments, you chose to Troll me? I feel honored. Is it a gay thing? Are you one of them interwebs stalkers?

[dystopika]

I LOVE YOU BROOKE ALVAREZ!!! You used to look good to me but now I find you...

[kcatdeejay]

Brooke is one smokin'  hot chick !!!! 48 NEVER looked so good !!!!

[GKid51892]

god bless the onion..

[ubermensch826]

is she in character in this interview? she acts egoistic and all but also refers to brooke in the third person...

[iceseekers]

Sometimes it's murder, and sometimes it's Tom Cruise.

-That just about sums up the News Channels.

[BrigitteAbbendis]

I'm afraid that by giving her this role she'll only be able to achieve orgasm when her partner(s) has/have electrodes taped to their genitalia and a ballgag in their mouth.

[vaginaboob100]

30000 pages so far... not a tell all, but a tell alot. ahahahahhahahaa

[darzinth]

This is awesome.

[pchtermino1]

I would stalk Brook Alvarez but its a night time job and I'm a morning person.

[QueenofAntarctica]

@pchtermino1 that's hilarious

[krazycore]

she's like twice older than me but she's so hot!

[QueenofAntarctica]

@krazycore 26x2=52...really? You think she's 52?

[krazycore]

@QueenofAntarctica I heard that she is in late 40s or early 50s.. isn't she?

[QueenofAntarctica]

@krazycore I mean, she's not twenty, but she's looking pretty darn good for 50. I'd say late thirties early forty

[krazycore]

@QueenofAntarctica Nah, she's 48.. XD...

[tommylehman]

Damn. She's 48 years odl and still hot.

[gulllars]

@tommylehman WTF? Really? I was thinking late 30's :)

[SerasXHarkonnen]

I'm a Journalism student and I must say that she is my inspiration.

[Thenicereviewguy]

if anyone turned her down you would have to be fucking gay lol

[pillowbugg]

world domination...FTW!

[antediluvian99]

She has a really nice smart-ass.

[Snowboarding182]

I think she's probably too funny to be a comedian, girl comedians aren't funny, she's just awesome at talking herself up

[BigIndy500Fan]

Hot Hot Hot

[MEGABOINK65]

she really is such a cutie!

[underlinedbluetext]

I was shocked to find out thar she wasn't a comedian! Not to mention thar she has worked on camera for fox news. Very interesting

[Stevecast]

She just may be one of the funniest chics on the Planet! And the best dressed, fastest talking anchor of them all... She's like a Hot Walking Wikipedia of News events and information! I also hear that she's the only News Anchor in the Entire World that DOES NOT use a teleprompter!! She's a Goddess! Luv Steve

[Cojer52]

Brooke Alvarez is awesome! As is it Suzanne Sena. 

[ldthompson57]

She is SSOOOOO BEAUTIFUL!!!! Man if she's married her husband is SOOOOO LUCKY!!!! lol

[BigStick3456]

@ldthompson57 shes not married. Good news!

[iaMyla]

She stays so well in character ^^

[mdsp00001]

shes so into herself lol i llove it

[wily4]

god i love her...

[dukenthaylor]

Suzanne Sena: The Hope And The Dream Of The Blonde Dumbshell!

Elizabeth Hasselbeck: She Is...As She Does.

[MrMerajjio]

HOT

[whiplashie]

she's so awesome <3__<3

[Benj888]

Hot and witty. RARE!

[nipplesnipplenipples]

Either she's really tiny, or that's a HUGE couch.

[tomfordvideo]

type PRIZE before youtube and hit enter

[StoneWall4President1]

god damn i love this woman.

[LibertyCentury]

Long live the Onion

[1watchnU2]

Hey Brooke what are you going to do about Andrea Bennett? Fight to the death? or simply a New off, battling for the top stories, preferrably in some sort of mud and/or jello mixture?

[R9forever]

I'm in love

[shadman1911]

She's got a Hillary Clinton in "bitch mode" thing to her! Brooke Alvarez the best news anchor in the world

[jessikanne]

She is amazing!

[1watchnU2]

Your awesome..Love Live the ONION!..Soon it will be on the only entity standing, well that and Google..

[aznxkigga]

Well-spoken, funny, and HOT!

[cas343]

lmao she cracked up at the end.

[aholydepression]

this is such better news then CNN and BBC news and other news lol