Honestly, I see everyone's rude comments and I am disgusted by their ignorance. As a purging anorexic of 5 years myself, I relate to this so much. I can totally understand the concept of being terrified of drinking water and having it in my body, polluting me. Its something you cannot understand unless you have an eating disorder, or if you are a somewhat educated person. I hope you get better Melissa.
@idranktheseawater I have one do, but it was much worse back then :/ I got over it because I realized I was fucking killing myself and destroying my body. I'm a healthy weight but from time to time my weight drops and I black out and faint. slowly I start eating and drinking again because I love food and I'm thankful for having it unlike some people in the world. being paranoid over having food and liquids inside my body is way to overrated and weak minded. I wanna see the people I loveeee :]
@idranktheseawater no you dont weigh too much stay at a good weight no body finds skin and bones attractive you look realy skinny so dont go losing weight
I know this may sound a little uncouth, but i'm telling anyone who will listen, medicine is dangerous (overdosing, etc.), but if you feel like you have done everything possible, please try marijuana. I have BPD and depression, anxiety, the works, but it is the only thing that has made me feel better.... and it's harmless. (as far as dying from it...) it's a plant. && it couldn't hurt to try. please just take some good advice, & don't listen to the same people telling you to take dangerous meds=]
So.. If you didn't want to start eatting/drinking again why go to the e.r? What did you think they were gonna have to do?? Kiss your boo boo and make it all better?
lol ... I like the way you talk about what your going through...You remind me of my friend she has the same mannerisms as you ... Hope your getting better <3
There is nothing wrong with wanting attention, everyone craves attention. You just have to look at what attention you are getting in your life. I know SI and EDs are not about attention, but BPD is with BPD a person is 'I love you do not leave me'. SI'ing, frequenting A&E seem very much like BPD tendencies. It is ok, you are helping others with BPD etc. I just hope you are getting weekly support so the SI'ing and ED can decrease and you can experience life to the fullest. :D
I just came across this video and johar's message along with others. You know I do not think idrankthesewater realises that she desires attention. There is obvious co-morbidity happening with conditions but I think all that idtw wants is support, understanding, and someone to hear her. Idtw I hope you are getting adequate support around your BPD and eating disorder, over time you will learn to decrease the severity of your conditions. Do not scoff at my comments, I know a lot about ED's etc
I do like attention. I freely admit that. I don't know what is wrong with wanting attention. But attention seeking is not the reason behind my SI and ED's or my videos. But....I do like the positive attention that comes with all these things. I like that people care. One wasn't for the other, but they intertwine.
the stereotype that people with BPD are attention-seekers is just that, a stereotype.. a stereotype that can seriously affect people with BPD adversely...
before talking like they know something about BPD, maybe some people should read up on their psychology...
@PixiAngel1984 But support, understanding and wanting someone to hear are POSITIVE forms of attention. You think it's healthy to want to not talk about it? When you talk to someone about your ED, you want attention. You wouldn't tell someone about an ed expecting this person not to listen right? Honestly, your comment makes little sense.
I'm exactly the same with fluids. I noticed recently that during the night I wouldn't drink at all because I knew I was getting weighed in the morning, even though it would've passed through my system by then... I just don't like having it inside me incase it gives me a false weight.
Her vids make me feel healthy and I think they are good for me. Don't know why someone would comment that these vids are not healthy. Please keep them comming.
This seems like a way for you to get attention. Do you get a high from this? Is posting on here filling something that food can't. You need some real help. Sign out of you tube, put your computer down, and go to a doctor. This is not healthy for you and the people that watch these kind of videos are not getting any kind of help from you. I believe every individual has the right to live a healthy happy live free from any kind of harm. But girl your doing this to yourself. Go to the doctor.
Thank you for expressing your disapproval respectfully.
The purpose of this video was just to talk about what happened so others who go through the same can feel understood. Most of my videos are about how I overcame difficulties and about giving advice based on what I learned.
I do have a doctor, a psychiatrist and a therapist. I'm getting help, but that doesnt mean that I cant make a video to express myself.
4 & 6 mmol/L??? I'm a diabetic and i was told that it's supposed to be between 4 & 7 mmol/L (4 hours after eating), up to 10mmol/L within 2 hours of eating. For more information about blood glucose watch my videos.
Here's how I dealt with my anger: I bought a BB gun powered by a CO2 cartridge. I put tiny holes all over the walls in my condo. Now, 2 years later I have to patch and paint.
Anyway, you're my hero for not having given up the good fight.
yea i have to remember that i fainted in town recently with low blood sugar but the ambulance made me have this horrig gel stuff to swallow to get it up. it tasted bad and smelled sweet and they made me have it . i think driking is v important if u can choose to do it its much better than being forced
my anorexia isnt really about the perfect weight, its mostly like feeling like giving up. its bad because after a while i cant even THINK about eating and drinking i get sick and dammit! how do you DO it? lol im sorry but really. HOW? i havent been able to hold anything down the past few weeks i just nibble on crackers, stupid little things and jst try to get away with it. im sorry you had to go through all that it must have been terrible. ive been through it too. but you know what? we'll be
Hehe ... *Bows head* I go through big, big stages of dehydration >_> Due to anorexia ... Yes ...
Mainly due to something I read in a book about a girl who was ANorexic. The whole "You gain 1 lb for every 16 oz" And ... Just, ever since I have usually just ... Kept myself dehydrated.
I did that in the hospital as well. Completely dehydrated while in there ... For 5 days? Which sucks cause they tried taking blood and couldn't SO got stuck a lot ...
You might gain a pound when it's inside you, but the water leaves your body usually within hours.
If you drink very little, your body will try and keep as much of it as it can. If you drink sufficiently, the water will actually help your metabolism.
Hey,I know this is really stupid but do you have any tips for me. I want to be a vegetarian and no, it's not because I have anorexia. I just want to know how to eat normally on a vegetarian diet. I really don't want to end up in the hospital for four months next year when I go to collage. I just don't know who to ask. Thanks.
Sure, there's Tofu, Beans, chick peas, lentils, seeds, nuts, simulated meat products, all for protein.
It's important to get lots of Flax seed for omega 3. There are supplements you can take. There are fish oil supplements for omega 3, but that is a matter of conscience for if you eat fish oil. If you go with the flax seed, you need major amounts in order to reach your needs.
I hate to state the obvious but (it makes me feel really bad for you girl) why are you doing this to yourself? Listen to how you talk about the possible coma (you aren't dumb--you know how bad it is)...You know, people will still watch you on youtube even if you talk about other things. You are articulate and, dare I say (despite the subject) charismatic. A lot of ppl might even consider u beautiful if you ate and took care of your body. Again, u have a brain so use it & hang in there.
I don't have an eating disorder, but would it make it easier to put what you want to eat in a blender and drink it? It would still be hard I imagine, but it might trick your brain into thinking it's just juice or something.
@idranktheseawater But you drink juice now. Isn't there nutritious powdery stuff you can put in juice that keeps you healthy, but you don't know it's there? Maybe you could put it in the juice and make yourself forget that you put it in. Just an idea. I, again, don't have an ED, but I hope you're well. MWAH!
First, I am SUPER glad you didn't go into a coma. Second, I love your blanket, very pretty. And Third, shower thing would not have worked on me at all. I force myself to take showers (irritates my skin!). I used to love showers...
Anyway, hope you are eating and drinking normally now. Keep going on. ;)
i have just started fasting, i haven't ate or drank in like 15 hours, i am doing it partly for the punishment but mainly as a test of strength. i want to see how much strength i have to know if i can get over this depression. i am not doing this to lose wieght even though i would love to have a beautifull body like yours.
i told one guy at colege and he has told everyone else and they have started a pool lol.
i started fasting last night, i haven't drunk or eaten in like 15 hours, i am doing it for the punisment and also to test my strength so i know how much i have to hopefully get over this depression, i am not doing this to lose wieght even though i would love to have a beautifull body like yours but i really don't know how strong i am and if i can do this it will be a big confidence booster.
i told one guy at colege and he has told everyone and now they arer starting a pool
You are showing symptoms of Munchhausen Syndrome. You shouldn't be faking a muscle disease, although you should know that malnutrition can cause severe muscle twitching and pain. I used to be anorexic, and now I have severe pain from muscle spasms. You really should be living in a state hospital!!!
I think that it would be wonderful to show this to the whole world. So many don't understand ED and I just like the way you make it so clear, in describing your resistance to the potentially life-saving treatment that the glucose would provide. This is not a rational disease. Glad to see you up and improving, glad to hear that you are coherent and seem to be in a more healthful mindset. I will keep you in prayer.
I'm so glad to hear that you didn't go into a coma...It would be hard to make videos in a coma...Seriously, though, glad you're okay. Keep your health and your spirits up.
Though I must admit, I laughed a little at the IV comments, because what you said was totally logical, but at the same time, I have a huge phobia of needles and injections and things, and even with my s-i stuff, I'd completely freak out if they tried to put in an IV. Funny, right?
stop doing that to yourself!! you are loved, and so many people support you and follow you. if for nothing else, eat and drink because we all still need you. you are so strong, dont let it get that bad again ever. please.
I wonder why they think taking away your showers would do any good. It makes you wonder if they are at all able to help you when they understand your problem so little. Like eating and drinking is entirely a matter of weather or not you want to, >>=/
ANYWAY lol I hope you're feeling better, and keep feeling better. Always
Hello Melissa, 4 to 8 blood fat sugar. 2.6 is very dangerous coma and die, when you are in that state you can have lots of side effects like seizures, coma, dry, shock, die, low blood pressure etc. I hope you are understand how seriously it is? I am so glad that you are better now, Please keep careful next time, I am here to talk or support let me know thanks. my adive is no food over week that good you can no drink for 3 day tops only facts otherwise die Hugs Kisses Love Gizmo xox
Keep on drinking! I have to convince myself that water is okay too. Lol I brought a bag of saline home from work (since I work as a medic) and weighed it on my scale. 2.9lbs. GAH. You would think they'd understand how horrid that is for us :(. Hang in there darling!! I'm always here if you need to chat :) (I just got out of psych as well by the way haha. I got out 6 days ago....it will officially be a week at 6pm tonight lol.
It's so good to see that you're doing okay! I've been in the same situation several times. I've fucked up my kidneys something awful and been in kidney failure twice from refusing to drink and messing up my electrolytes. All of my vitals are always off now. When I was in psych my blood pressure dropped to 60/40 and my glucose was down to 24. (different measurement...here it should be at least 60-80). It's amazing how many times I can wind up in ICU and stuff say fuck off and do it again...
It's good to hear you're doing better, by the way. It's sad to see you go through all this stuff...and you're not stupid and have no reason to be feeling shame...you're just human after all and made a mistake, and none of us are perfect. Try not to judge yourself so harshly, after all, you DID seek help eventually. Thankfully. We'd miss you if you were gone...you're doing a lot of good for us effed-up people out here. You can get through this, it's tough, but you're worth the effort, eh? ;)
...the doctors tell you "Hey, we gotta do this, but there are risks involved due to the anesthetic...you might not come out of it". I'm like "Bring it on", as I was actually kinda hoping I wouldn't wake up...going under general anesthetic is a great trip...you get an exhilarating head rush and then everything goes blank...the best part of it being having NO PAIN due to the hard-core muscle relaxants and some RELIEF from your misery, at least for the time you're layed out and unconscious. ;)
Yeah...getting a sucrose and saline IV can be trippy...especially when it's below body temperature...it's weird feeling the cool fluid travelling up your arm. I've never had to have an IV for dehydration and to balance blood sugar and electrolytes, but I've had plenty of them in preparation for ECT. They put you under general anesthestic for that treatment...I think it's ironic and a little funny that the treatment of last resort for extreme depression is one you might not wake up from...
It makes me laugh that the dr.'s told you that the IV would hurt so much. I too had to go to the hospital, and the nurse was telling me "oh the IV is painful, blah blah" Im like, uh lady, I cut myself for relief, I dont think this is going to phase me. & i was right, it didnt. haha Dr's and nurses can be so dumb in situations like that.
Anywho, I hope you are doing much better now. You are an inspiration to everyone. :)
lol I know that feeling, It's a weird feeling being injected with a mass amount of stuff. I'm glad you got better. I was actually shocked to hear you ended up like that. (I was thinking you were pretty much cured)
@idranktheseawater I did the same thing but I think I ate a little tiny bit of soup.[I don't remember]But still ended up getting dehydrated [it was the same 6 days] I woke up and couldn't even walk to my moms room to tell her I was so dizzy. I was still SO concerned with house much I weighed.But I was dry heaving and it was crazy. I was so scared.But after I ate [I think I binged I can't remember] I felt better.
im glad youre alright now. ive always hated hospitals. just the idea that these people i dont know can tell me what to do and im just like a lab rat or something. yet im in and out of them constantly =/. i know i have to stop cutting, but i dont want to
I'm glad u r doing better, ur vids are such inspiration to everyone that sees them, i really needed to see a vid of u 2day, i'm having such a bad day , ur vids always make me feel better and less alone, thank u. XxX
well i guess I sent it at the rite time LOL Im glad you got it when you did, and im glad you like that green, i saw it and fell in love with it. (: im glad your doing better
I am so sorry to hear you want thougth this again but you know we all have relapxs and you know I am always here for you I hope someoday you are abile to be helaed and noticed you are just fine how u r
The worst part of the whole thing is having two realities. You know what you are doing is wrong but there is another side as well. I hate cognitive dissonance but it's what makes us human. I wish the best for you. I really want to see you get though this. Maybe then you could do more silly videos. <3 sending my love & prayers
i've watched every one of your videos and i have for a long time now, your an incredibly inspiring person, i SI more often these days than i used to and watching your videos gave me the confedence to get help myself and i know what its like to slip like you have, but i guess my point is that even though you have slipped the fact your still fighting and getting better is amazing and your a very strong woman, dont give up and i hope you get better and start eating again very soon.. <3
Remember that you are not alone, You have people who love and support you. You are an important person the battle between you and the inner voice is abattle that can be won !1 Fight the voice that drags you down ! Comment or PM me you will survive this, the world needs you !!
:( Don't be so hard on yourself, your not stupid, just struggling with alot. I really hope you get better, keep on fighting. I know how hard it can be, been struggling with SI for a long time. Stay strong :)
Honestly, I see everyone's rude comments and I am disgusted by their ignorance. As a purging anorexic of 5 years myself, I relate to this so much. I can totally understand the concept of being terrified of drinking water and having it in my body, polluting me. Its something you cannot understand unless you have an eating disorder, or if you are a somewhat educated person. I hope you get better Melissa.
Fashionistafy 1 month ago
Azbill001 I actually smiled at the last bit. And this video is informative. VERY informative.
innocence2216 2 months ago
"Everybody" that posts Videos on YouTube WANTS ATTENTION!!! thats why they post them!
sierraluv 2 months ago
this video is old but, dude it's just food and water :] yah wanna live or not? come on. lalala life is amazingg :)
EllieFromTheAlley 3 months ago
@EllieFromTheAlley
Its not just food and water when you have an eating disorder
idranktheseawater 3 months ago 2
@idranktheseawater I have one do, but it was much worse back then :/ I got over it because I realized I was fucking killing myself and destroying my body. I'm a healthy weight but from time to time my weight drops and I black out and faint. slowly I start eating and drinking again because I love food and I'm thankful for having it unlike some people in the world. being paranoid over having food and liquids inside my body is way to overrated and weak minded. I wanna see the people I loveeee :]
EllieFromTheAlley 3 months ago
Do you know that you are not at all funny? This is disgusting not informative!
Azbill001 3 months ago
@Azbill001
Thank you for showing me the light
I can understand now that I am dry and uneducated, and I forbid anyone from giggling at anything I say.
idranktheseawater 3 months ago 2
@hollycrutchfield
Too much
idranktheseawater 8 months ago
@idranktheseawater no you dont weigh too much stay at a good weight no body finds skin and bones attractive you look realy skinny so dont go losing weight
tigeriron1 7 months ago
I know this may sound a little uncouth, but i'm telling anyone who will listen, medicine is dangerous (overdosing, etc.), but if you feel like you have done everything possible, please try marijuana. I have BPD and depression, anxiety, the works, but it is the only thing that has made me feel better.... and it's harmless. (as far as dying from it...) it's a plant. && it couldn't hurt to try. please just take some good advice, & don't listen to the same people telling you to take dangerous meds=]
AlyRed27 8 months ago
So.. If you didn't want to start eatting/drinking again why go to the e.r? What did you think they were gonna have to do?? Kiss your boo boo and make it all better?
alexisdg100 9 months ago
@alexisdg100 She went to the doctor because she was passing out and throwing up. Her sister drove her there. Did you even listen to the video?
MisEverythingSparkly 6 months ago
lol ... I like the way you talk about what your going through...You remind me of my friend she has the same mannerisms as you ... Hope your getting better <3
azzie777 10 months ago
"I couldn't leave my room and had to get all greasy." LOL!!!
I am not laughing at you at all, that was just a really funny way to say it.
honorbethnaked 11 months ago
Your So Cute! :)
StephanieeBieber 11 months ago
How can you go for so long without eating??
frootloop199 11 months ago
There is nothing wrong with wanting attention, everyone craves attention. You just have to look at what attention you are getting in your life. I know SI and EDs are not about attention, but BPD is with BPD a person is 'I love you do not leave me'. SI'ing, frequenting A&E seem very much like BPD tendencies. It is ok, you are helping others with BPD etc. I just hope you are getting weekly support so the SI'ing and ED can decrease and you can experience life to the fullest. :D
PixiAngel1984 11 months ago
I just came across this video and johar's message along with others. You know I do not think idrankthesewater realises that she desires attention. There is obvious co-morbidity happening with conditions but I think all that idtw wants is support, understanding, and someone to hear her. Idtw I hope you are getting adequate support around your BPD and eating disorder, over time you will learn to decrease the severity of your conditions. Do not scoff at my comments, I know a lot about ED's etc
PixiAngel1984 11 months ago
@PixiAngel1984
I do like attention. I freely admit that. I don't know what is wrong with wanting attention. But attention seeking is not the reason behind my SI and ED's or my videos. But....I do like the positive attention that comes with all these things. I like that people care. One wasn't for the other, but they intertwine.
Does that make sense?
idranktheseawater 11 months ago 8
@idranktheseawater ummm doesn't everyone like attention?
the stereotype that people with BPD are attention-seekers is just that, a stereotype.. a stereotype that can seriously affect people with BPD adversely...
before talking like they know something about BPD, maybe some people should read up on their psychology...
porcelain100 10 months ago
@PixiAngel1984 But support, understanding and wanting someone to hear are POSITIVE forms of attention. You think it's healthy to want to not talk about it? When you talk to someone about your ED, you want attention. You wouldn't tell someone about an ed expecting this person not to listen right? Honestly, your comment makes little sense.
BrainDeadIntellect 9 months ago
Lol "fluids it's good 4 u cuz it keeps u out ov comas" XP
chelseaskyerock 11 months ago
I'm exactly the same with fluids. I noticed recently that during the night I wouldn't drink at all because I knew I was getting weighed in the morning, even though it would've passed through my system by then... I just don't like having it inside me incase it gives me a false weight.
elysiansoul 11 months ago
i just wanna give you a big hug :(
Annar8629 11 months ago
You're priceless :)
carolieniemienie 1 year ago
whats a PM??
and what the hecks up with those nureses.....I would have told them to piss off. Really painful rubbish!!
since when is a shower not a need???
did you get sectioned or somthign
Bloodygeek1 1 year ago
@Bloodygeek1
PM is personal message
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
whats a PM??
and what the hecks up with those nureses.....I would have told them to piss off. Really painful rubbish!!
Bloodygeek1 1 year ago
Her vids make me feel healthy and I think they are good for me. Don't know why someone would comment that these vids are not healthy. Please keep them comming.
christest15 1 year ago
This seems like a way for you to get attention. Do you get a high from this? Is posting on here filling something that food can't. You need some real help. Sign out of you tube, put your computer down, and go to a doctor. This is not healthy for you and the people that watch these kind of videos are not getting any kind of help from you. I believe every individual has the right to live a healthy happy live free from any kind of harm. But girl your doing this to yourself. Go to the doctor.
johar3703 1 year ago
@johar3703
Thank you for expressing your disapproval respectfully.
The purpose of this video was just to talk about what happened so others who go through the same can feel understood. Most of my videos are about how I overcame difficulties and about giving advice based on what I learned.
I do have a doctor, a psychiatrist and a therapist. I'm getting help, but that doesnt mean that I cant make a video to express myself.
idranktheseawater 1 year ago 15
You do realize that your pain and charisma are connected right? Or maybe I'm just stupid. Or both.
MonacoBlast 1 year ago
4 & 6 mmol/L??? I'm a diabetic and i was told that it's supposed to be between 4 & 7 mmol/L (4 hours after eating), up to 10mmol/L within 2 hours of eating. For more information about blood glucose watch my videos.
thegigm 1 year ago
Here's how I dealt with my anger: I bought a BB gun powered by a CO2 cartridge. I put tiny holes all over the walls in my condo. Now, 2 years later I have to patch and paint.
Anyway, you're my hero for not having given up the good fight.
MonacoBlast 1 year ago
Drinking water helps you loose weight.
jhartist123 1 year ago 4
@jhartist123
I've learned that. ;)
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
yea i have to remember that i fainted in town recently with low blood sugar but the ambulance made me have this horrig gel stuff to swallow to get it up. it tasted bad and smelled sweet and they made me have it . i think driking is v important if u can choose to do it its much better than being forced
fightingforlife25912 1 year ago
my anorexia isnt really about the perfect weight, its mostly like feeling like giving up. its bad because after a while i cant even THINK about eating and drinking i get sick and dammit! how do you DO it? lol im sorry but really. HOW? i havent been able to hold anything down the past few weeks i just nibble on crackers, stupid little things and jst try to get away with it. im sorry you had to go through all that it must have been terrible. ive been through it too. but you know what? we'll be
wonderfullymelodious 1 year ago
we ll be jst FUCKING fine! in the end WE win, WE have the upper hand in this. HMPH!
right?............ (damn those angels-devils on my shoulder)
wonderfullymelodious 1 year ago
Hey, you're really great. Just putting that out there. All your videos make so much sense to me. thankyou :)
KatherineJaneYoung3 1 year ago
Hehe ... *Bows head* I go through big, big stages of dehydration >_> Due to anorexia ... Yes ...
Mainly due to something I read in a book about a girl who was ANorexic. The whole "You gain 1 lb for every 16 oz" And ... Just, ever since I have usually just ... Kept myself dehydrated.
I did that in the hospital as well. Completely dehydrated while in there ... For 5 days? Which sucks cause they tried taking blood and couldn't SO got stuck a lot ...
And its just like ... Yeah, stupid but ...
RhayvenBlood 1 year ago
@RhayvenBlood
You might gain a pound when it's inside you, but the water leaves your body usually within hours.
If you drink very little, your body will try and keep as much of it as it can. If you drink sufficiently, the water will actually help your metabolism.
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
@idranktheseawater
I'll have to try and keep that in mind, and actually go by that. Its just sometimes hard to break the mentality Ana can have on you, y'know? >_<
RhayvenBlood 1 year ago
@RhayvenBlood
Yes, I know. It messes with our brains and we cant think right. It's more than hard to fight the things this disease tells us.
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
@idranktheseawater
Unfortunately.
RhayvenBlood 1 year ago
Hey,I know this is really stupid but do you have any tips for me. I want to be a vegetarian and no, it's not because I have anorexia. I just want to know how to eat normally on a vegetarian diet. I really don't want to end up in the hospital for four months next year when I go to collage. I just don't know who to ask. Thanks.
mrkabal77 1 year ago
@mrkabal77
Sure, there's Tofu, Beans, chick peas, lentils, seeds, nuts, simulated meat products, all for protein.
It's important to get lots of Flax seed for omega 3. There are supplements you can take. There are fish oil supplements for omega 3, but that is a matter of conscience for if you eat fish oil. If you go with the flax seed, you need major amounts in order to reach your needs.
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
@TheBoyanorexic
yes I was
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
@TheBoyanorexic
Who said a week?
For restricting food, I might say maybe a few days, but for water you need help ASAP, especially if it's been a few days already.
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
@TheBoyanorexic
I restricted water badly for about a week, but the last few days were the worst.
I was in the ER first and then I was admitted. I stayed about 4 or 5 days.
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
IV's are horrible! D:
purlekayo 1 year ago
idranktheseawater.... you are gorgeous..... dont harm yourself... im glad your doing better...
edougie1 1 year ago
I hate to state the obvious but (it makes me feel really bad for you girl) why are you doing this to yourself? Listen to how you talk about the possible coma (you aren't dumb--you know how bad it is)...You know, people will still watch you on youtube even if you talk about other things. You are articulate and, dare I say (despite the subject) charismatic. A lot of ppl might even consider u beautiful if you ate and took care of your body. Again, u have a brain so use it & hang in there.
carpenoctem81 1 year ago
@carpenoctem81
Yes, I am working hard on eating well. I am a lot better now than I was in this video.
(quote) "You know, people will still watch you on youtube even if you talk about other things."
Do you mean to say that you dont think I should be making videos about SI and eating disorders?
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
The way you describe things is adorable - "they hook it up and it goes blurpblurpblurp~"
HeartlessSpirit 1 year ago
I don't have an eating disorder, but would it make it easier to put what you want to eat in a blender and drink it? It would still be hard I imagine, but it might trick your brain into thinking it's just juice or something.
You're in my thoughts and I like your blanket :).
spagerbot 1 year ago
@spagerbot
I guess that could work depending on how severe the ED is at the time.
Often times, even juice is unacceptable to drink. Too many calories.
idranktheseawater 1 year ago 2
@idranktheseawater But you drink juice now. Isn't there nutritious powdery stuff you can put in juice that keeps you healthy, but you don't know it's there? Maybe you could put it in the juice and make yourself forget that you put it in. Just an idea. I, again, don't have an ED, but I hope you're well. MWAH!
spagerbot 1 year ago
@spagerbot
Thank you for taking care of me ;)
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
i dont normally drink water so i dont cry...
I8apoptart 1 year ago
First, I am SUPER glad you didn't go into a coma. Second, I love your blanket, very pretty. And Third, shower thing would not have worked on me at all. I force myself to take showers (irritates my skin!). I used to love showers...
Anyway, hope you are eating and drinking normally now. Keep going on. ;)
Valkyara 1 year ago 2
no shit munchhausens much..
kateycrizzle 1 year ago
@kateycrizzle
What makes you say that?
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
i have just started fasting, i haven't ate or drank in like 15 hours, i am doing it partly for the punishment but mainly as a test of strength. i want to see how much strength i have to know if i can get over this depression. i am not doing this to lose wieght even though i would love to have a beautifull body like yours.
i told one guy at colege and he has told everyone else and they have started a pool lol.
p.s. this chick ain't faking so leave her alone.
jagglerjog891 2 years ago
i started fasting last night, i haven't drunk or eaten in like 15 hours, i am doing it for the punisment and also to test my strength so i know how much i have to hopefully get over this depression, i am not doing this to lose wieght even though i would love to have a beautifull body like yours but i really don't know how strong i am and if i can do this it will be a big confidence booster.
i told one guy at colege and he has told everyone and now they arer starting a pool
jagglerjog891 2 years ago
You are showing symptoms of Munchhausen Syndrome. You shouldn't be faking a muscle disease, although you should know that malnutrition can cause severe muscle twitching and pain. I used to be anorexic, and now I have severe pain from muscle spasms. You really should be living in a state hospital!!!
brenad1 2 years ago
What basis do you have to say I am faking?
If we turned this around, I could say that you are faking and have Munchhousen's
idranktheseawater 2 years ago 12
@brenad1 You should be living under an exploding car.
spagerbot 1 year ago
We need more people like u :D lul and u look pretty in ur pajamas :)
nickzabuzanick 2 years ago
at what point did you punch the grid.
composer63 2 years ago
Hmmm....Let me think....
It was a few days into my stay. I would say why, but I'm a bit uncomfortable about it. I was pretty messed up.
idranktheseawater 2 years ago
Don't feel alone. I've been thru anti-water phases and extremely low glucose too. Just try to stay strong and you can get thru this.
kateybug89 2 years ago
I think that it would be wonderful to show this to the whole world. So many don't understand ED and I just like the way you make it so clear, in describing your resistance to the potentially life-saving treatment that the glucose would provide. This is not a rational disease. Glad to see you up and improving, glad to hear that you are coherent and seem to be in a more healthful mindset. I will keep you in prayer.
Janestlllikessecrets 2 years ago
I'm so glad to hear that you didn't go into a coma...It would be hard to make videos in a coma...Seriously, though, glad you're okay. Keep your health and your spirits up.
Though I must admit, I laughed a little at the IV comments, because what you said was totally logical, but at the same time, I have a huge phobia of needles and injections and things, and even with my s-i stuff, I'd completely freak out if they tried to put in an IV. Funny, right?
Hlessirah 2 years ago
stop doing that to yourself!! you are loved, and so many people support you and follow you. if for nothing else, eat and drink because we all still need you. you are so strong, dont let it get that bad again ever. please.
Misalanaious 2 years ago
I wonder why they think taking away your showers would do any good. It makes you wonder if they are at all able to help you when they understand your problem so little. Like eating and drinking is entirely a matter of weather or not you want to, >>=/
ANYWAY lol I hope you're feeling better, and keep feeling better. Always
xLillith 2 years ago 5
Hello Melissa, 4 to 8 blood fat sugar. 2.6 is very dangerous coma and die, when you are in that state you can have lots of side effects like seizures, coma, dry, shock, die, low blood pressure etc. I hope you are understand how seriously it is? I am so glad that you are better now, Please keep careful next time, I am here to talk or support let me know thanks. my adive is no food over week that good you can no drink for 3 day tops only facts otherwise die Hugs Kisses Love Gizmo xox
darlingtester1982 2 years ago
glad your doing better
onthebackburner 2 years ago
Keep on drinking! I have to convince myself that water is okay too. Lol I brought a bag of saline home from work (since I work as a medic) and weighed it on my scale. 2.9lbs. GAH. You would think they'd understand how horrid that is for us :(. Hang in there darling!! I'm always here if you need to chat :) (I just got out of psych as well by the way haha. I got out 6 days ago....it will officially be a week at 6pm tonight lol.
medicgirl1730 2 years ago
It's so good to see that you're doing okay! I've been in the same situation several times. I've fucked up my kidneys something awful and been in kidney failure twice from refusing to drink and messing up my electrolytes. All of my vitals are always off now. When I was in psych my blood pressure dropped to 60/40 and my glucose was down to 24. (different measurement...here it should be at least 60-80). It's amazing how many times I can wind up in ICU and stuff say fuck off and do it again...
medicgirl1730 2 years ago
It's good to hear you're doing better, by the way. It's sad to see you go through all this stuff...and you're not stupid and have no reason to be feeling shame...you're just human after all and made a mistake, and none of us are perfect. Try not to judge yourself so harshly, after all, you DID seek help eventually. Thankfully. We'd miss you if you were gone...you're doing a lot of good for us effed-up people out here. You can get through this, it's tough, but you're worth the effort, eh? ;)
Khunrath1 2 years ago
...the doctors tell you "Hey, we gotta do this, but there are risks involved due to the anesthetic...you might not come out of it". I'm like "Bring it on", as I was actually kinda hoping I wouldn't wake up...going under general anesthetic is a great trip...you get an exhilarating head rush and then everything goes blank...the best part of it being having NO PAIN due to the hard-core muscle relaxants and some RELIEF from your misery, at least for the time you're layed out and unconscious. ;)
Khunrath1 2 years ago
Yeah...getting a sucrose and saline IV can be trippy...especially when it's below body temperature...it's weird feeling the cool fluid travelling up your arm. I've never had to have an IV for dehydration and to balance blood sugar and electrolytes, but I've had plenty of them in preparation for ECT. They put you under general anesthestic for that treatment...I think it's ironic and a little funny that the treatment of last resort for extreme depression is one you might not wake up from...
Khunrath1 2 years ago
It makes me laugh that the dr.'s told you that the IV would hurt so much. I too had to go to the hospital, and the nurse was telling me "oh the IV is painful, blah blah" Im like, uh lady, I cut myself for relief, I dont think this is going to phase me. & i was right, it didnt. haha Dr's and nurses can be so dumb in situations like that.
Anywho, I hope you are doing much better now. You are an inspiration to everyone. :)
joysoflife7 2 years ago
lol I know that feeling, It's a weird feeling being injected with a mass amount of stuff. I'm glad you got better. I was actually shocked to hear you ended up like that. (I was thinking you were pretty much cured)
darkstar685 2 years ago
It nice to see one of your vids. i was wonder what happen to you
MrCrazyrob187 2 years ago
oh my how long did you proceed to go without drinking and eating?
HomeByMidnight 2 years ago
6 days
idranktheseawater 2 years ago
@idranktheseawater I did the same thing but I think I ate a little tiny bit of soup.[I don't remember]But still ended up getting dehydrated [it was the same 6 days] I woke up and couldn't even walk to my moms room to tell her I was so dizzy. I was still SO concerned with house much I weighed.But I was dry heaving and it was crazy. I was so scared.But after I ate [I think I binged I can't remember] I felt better.
peacenlove637 1 year ago
im glad youre alright now. ive always hated hospitals. just the idea that these people i dont know can tell me what to do and im just like a lab rat or something. yet im in and out of them constantly =/. i know i have to stop cutting, but i dont want to
mynameismaitiu 2 years ago
I'm glad u r doing better, ur vids are such inspiration to everyone that sees them, i really needed to see a vid of u 2day, i'm having such a bad day , ur vids always make me feel better and less alone, thank u. XxX
faeriescuttoo 2 years ago
Scary stuff!
PLEASE take care of yourself. The world needs you! : )
Fluid...keeps you out of comas. Who knew? lol
myhalo123 2 years ago
Sending you hugs myhalo.
You are cool people. ;)
idranktheseawater 2 years ago
have you thought about showing your psychiatrists your youtube vids? they may like to see them... you seem to express your feelings well on them.
i am glad to hear that you are feeling better =]
ruththegeek 2 years ago
My psychiatrist knows about my videos but has never discussed them with me. I gave her the links, but im not even sure she watched them.
idranktheseawater 2 years ago
You are such an inspiration and lifesaver to soo many people..it must take alot of willpower to share all this but thank you so much!
i hope you get better
xoxo
chockyfancy 2 years ago
I am glad to see you back and drinking also :) You do help alot of people with your videos, its greatly apprciated^^
Thank you.
BreakingDownAgain 2 years ago
You are so brave for posting these videos of yours , I hope yoiu feel better soon :)
Hoopybluefood 2 years ago 2
hang in there, i hope you are ok x x x
BouncyBunnyHayley 2 years ago 3
that is very scary, and not that i am scared i am going to check my blood sugar.
leggsXinXaXtopXhat 2 years ago
im glad your better and im sorry you had to go in there agin i need to go and get some help i just hate telling people about things i do :)
EmilysBloodycorps 2 years ago
I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling :( Hope you're feeling better. You're an amazing person.
Joebeeb 2 years ago
i'm glad to see that you are back and ok...
ColonelFleet 2 years ago
well i guess I sent it at the rite time LOL Im glad you got it when you did, and im glad you like that green, i saw it and fell in love with it. (: im glad your doing better
poetwithprobs 2 years ago 3
You certainly did.
Its so comforting and soft. I don't sleep without it. ;) Its like burying my face in a teddy bear.
idranktheseawater 2 years ago
I am so sorry to hear you want thougth this again but you know we all have relapxs and you know I am always here for you I hope someoday you are abile to be helaed and noticed you are just fine how u r
rainbowpagan 2 years ago 4
The worst part of the whole thing is having two realities. You know what you are doing is wrong but there is another side as well. I hate cognitive dissonance but it's what makes us human. I wish the best for you. I really want to see you get though this. Maybe then you could do more silly videos. <3 sending my love & prayers
SerenityMellissa 2 years ago
i've watched every one of your videos and i have for a long time now, your an incredibly inspiring person, i SI more often these days than i used to and watching your videos gave me the confedence to get help myself and i know what its like to slip like you have, but i guess my point is that even though you have slipped the fact your still fighting and getting better is amazing and your a very strong woman, dont give up and i hope you get better and start eating again very soon.. <3
Corkthepirate 2 years ago 3
It makes me so happy to hear you are getting help because of my influence. That makes my work worth while.
We can fight this thing. ;)
idranktheseawater 2 years ago
Remember that you are not alone, You have people who love and support you. You are an important person the battle between you and the inner voice is abattle that can be won !1 Fight the voice that drags you down ! Comment or PM me you will survive this, the world needs you !!
moonknightify 2 years ago 3
Well at least you understand that what you were doing wasn't good.
We all have our struggles with ed's or self injury.... maybe both. We understand and support you.
<3
Innergoth333 2 years ago 3
:( Don't be so hard on yourself, your not stupid, just struggling with alot. I really hope you get better, keep on fighting. I know how hard it can be, been struggling with SI for a long time. Stay strong :)
spx105 2 years ago 12