Eli's Dirty Jokes - Episode 6 - Piano Man

[wwefan12372]

ألله أكبر

[stevenmael]

Brugar18 you are so right

[Brugar18]

and the kid says:

-NOW I GET IT! the government is fucking people, the law is sleeping, the press loses its time in bullshit, the youth strolls disoriented and the hope of tomorrow is just full of shit

[Brugar18]

billy got homework assignment of how the country works so he asked his dad for help

-well its easy. i am the government cause i give orders, mom is law cause she imposes order, grandma is the press shes informed with everything, maid is people she does hard work, you are the youth and your brother is hope of tommorow.

during night the kid went to kitchen and saw dad fucking a maid and he ran arround calling his mom, his grandma and his brother who sudently shat himself

[xXbionuklerXx]

0:25 i wanna suck your titys looooollll

[Grotok]

hahahahahahahahaah awww.. this one was gold

[TheCALLofAwesome]

If anyone saw an ad with elves on a fishing boat, it was a dirty joke.

[Brugar18]

a man goes to hell and satan showed the place to him and in the end he told the man to choose on of the rooms in the corridor he opened the first on and saw flames and people suffering, he opened another door he saw a pool of blood and pirahna fish eating people and after many hours of him choosing a room he opened the last door and saw a fat, ugly, smelly old man getting a blowjob by a gorgeous woman and the man decided he wants that room and the satan said:

Hey Jenny!!! youve been replaced!!!

[CookieeBearr03]

@angel girl. 1594.!! I

Think wat eva .! Any way gurl u green bra.

[123superdestruction]

A guy is walking down the street and he comes upon a bar. A sign on the bar says "Free Beer, Just Complete The Challenge". So, the guy walks in and asks the bartender "What's the Challenge?" The bartender says, "First, you have to pull a loose tooth from an angry Alligator's mouth just outside. Then, there is a prostitute that has never had sex before." After a few drinks the man says "I'll do the Challenge". The man walks out. The alligator stops growling. The man comes back and says "Where's t

[afroninja0000]

@123superdestruction lol, that's awesome

[123superdestruction]

@afroninja0000 thanks



[123superdestruction]

he prostitute with the loose tooth?"

[dill1571]

A man and his hot lady neigbour are having a discussion about her bed. Her husband has just sold her old one and now wen ever a train comes past she and her hubby bounce out of the new one.

The man says he dosen't believe her so she takes him into her room and tells her to get into bed with her...

But the womans husband comes back and says- wtf wats goin on here.

The man in bed says-You wont believe it but we are waiting for a train...

[052450]

Stupid  dugh!!!!!!!!

[gutarheroguy]

Thare is a mexican and a black guy in a car who's driveing........The Cop

[ShadowXAvengerNo7]

Hahahaaa...haha..ha i dont get it :P

[modernwarfaregal]

I dont get it

[lasertracer206]

Boy:I have a joke about my penis,nvm, its too long.

Girl:I have a joke about my vagina,nvm, you won't get it.

Boy:It's alright it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

Boy:1 Girl: 0

[maiarox101]

@lasertracer206 heard that b4 xD

[lasertracer206]

@maiarox101 xD

[Deathnote23441]

hey. i got 2 stupid racist jokes for ya

what's the difference between a pizza and a jew? the pizza doesn't scream when it gets burned.

how many jews can fit in a car? 25. 5 in the seats and 20 in the ashtray

thumbs me down all you want. idc >.>

[xXdenisychevXx]

LOL



[Waendchen]

that was...... a terrible joke xD but i guess that's what makes the video so funny

[nintendogirl3000]

heres a joke i found

WARNING: its kinda racist (if u get it)

So today i went and bought 3 games systems, a Wii, an Xbox and a PS3.

when i gave them my credit card info to the Wii and Xbox, nothing happened to my money. But when i gave my credit card info to the Ps3 compony.... (the PS3 is Black and the Wii and Xbox r white)

I warned you it was racist...

[SoulofaDeity]

lol....shlong

[MelBroadway]

I Dont Get It.

[marioo730]

on the highschool wall somebody wrote- "joe is gay" -"no he isnt"! "yes,i am" LOL LIKE IF YOU GET IT :D

[Anomominous]

@marioo730 why would someone like this, someone with a life anyway

[marioo730]

on the highschool wall somebody wrote- "joe is gay" -"no he isnt"! "yes,i am"  LOL LIKE IF YOU GET IT :D

[luvs2spoonge]

for people who dont get it. when he had his slong hanging out and the guy asked him if he had known. but what the audience diddnt know is he wrote a song called that so the guy said that he wrote it he wasnt listening to the bartender

[cameronukz]

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up :(

[juanlarios666]

@cameronukz a pickle, a cucumber and a penis was discussing eachother's life, then the pickle said, "my life sucks, i am put into a jar with juice." cucumber said"you think that's rough? im shredded into a salad!" the penis said "man, you think your life sucks? i am put into a bag, shoved into a dark room, banging onto the wall until i puke all over myself" another version...

[mrmoga]

Angelgirl1591- lol

[ThePunkrocker89]

fartnuber i think u mean he stole it

[mrstormheads]

@AngelGirl1591 nice one

[DarkerRai]

@AngelGirl1591 That's a really good joke :D

[AngelGirl1591]

@DarkerRai high school jokes :D good times

[ckayz22]

@AngelGirl1591 wtf just cause you said extremely racist joke doesnt make it right -.-

[hungvantran]

@AngelGirl1591 *this was copyed..!

[MrRockalltheWAY]

@AngelGirl1591 ok thats not how the joke is and you didnt even explain why they had to throw the danm things off..... rly tho fail

[unnownzombis]

@AngelGirl1591 those are stereotypes

[Pshnookems]

@AngelGirl1591 not that racist something racist would be why dont black women wear underwear at picnics...to keep the flies off the chicken

[anikamccray]

@AngelGirl1591 Im srry that was racist but funny as crap

[Msilikenachos]

@AngelGirl1591  (devilish sly laugh) haahaahaa!

[DaPatinador]

@AngelGirl1591 no actually the american just goes home and orders his wife to make him a sandwich

[willfrillman]

@AngelGirl1591 you have no idea how many times ive heard that and other variations of it.

[mw2king89]

@AngelGirl1591 that is so old

[mahaLoLolo1]

@AngelGirl1591 And the Italian said, "We have too many of these on the boat!" and threw the American off.

[TheRetroZombie]

@AngelGirl1591 I heard a similar one except it was one the plane.

[ilimitadouc]

@AngelGirl1591 nice one ;)

[ilimitadouc]

didnt understand

[Nate37982]

@AngelGirl1591 hahahhahahahahhah very fucking funny.....since i am mexican.



[likewatever100]

@Nate37982

just ignore jokes like dat,

i think (im being very honest so im not making it up)

i like the Mexican cultre

[Xzamilloh]

Boooooo!!!!

[oscarsanders07]

heres a racist joke my friend said but not me i dont mean it:

there are three black guys riding in a car, wo's driving? A cop.

[kshaun23]

wow after as many times as i seen this i finally figured out the joke :D

[BassSmasher41]

What did the elephant say to the man?

How can you breathe through that small thing?

[WWEfandylan]

3 Men get arrested. on their way into jail, an officer stops them and asks the first man what he got arrested for. The man says, ''blowing bubbles in the park.'' Confused, the officer sends him off. He asks the next man that, to which he replied, ''blowing bubbles in the park.'' the officer sends him off and says to the next guy, ''lemme guess, you got arrested for blowing bubbles in the park?'' the man says, ''No, im Bubbles.'' :))

[shakenmikeg14]

@WWEfandylan dude. every one is posting that stupid comment. ITS GETTING OLD!

[alikitty20]

Im sorry but none of ur episodes make sny sense, you need to stop making these videos and get a life.

[chewybacaking]

@alikitty20

they make total sense...

[ProfessorJeii]

0:54 xD! that was eli when he was young

[SupaDupaJupa]

u wanna hear a joke; Wii

[kobeking1998]

what do u call a pig that knows karate..... porkchop

[MrDanielSultan]

The father took a good look and explained, "That's the elephant's penis".

"Dad, how come when I asked mom, she said it was nothing?".

The man took a deep breath and replied, " Son, I've spoiled that woman".

[Rockbandmaster808]

Eli is the guy on the right at 0:54

[BlackMasterJoe89]

Hey jackvale uses banging a bag lady in his videos and a lot of other people do to.

[Skwisgaar4256]

LOOK!!! IT'S LITTLE JHONNY!!!

[TimJiggah]

@Negative132 It's proper punctuation, dumbshit. (:

[ButtsAreForSitting]

thumbs up for no more advertisements!

[LuvZippy]

Eli is the guy who points out his thing is hanging out.

[paramorevampire1996]

"your mom is like a vaccum , she sucks , she blows and she gets laid in the cabnet"

[miniglozell]

"Type MYPRIZE instead of YOU in youtube and hit enter"

[miniglozell]

AND THEE PPPPEEEEENIS SAYS THANK? BAAD ELI!

[myawesomenickname]

"Type MYPRIZE instead of YOU in youtube and hit enter"

[PhoenixTomislav]

@Stepanskiy23 yes, cause you're adopted.

[Cornell2020]

America is a boiling pot of every culture on the Earth. So when you bash us, you're pretty much making fun of every race and ethnicity on the planet, including your own, dipshit.

[vampfreak614]

ha ha ha awesome i love this joke

[k9monkey1]

i got it the second time :D

[Akirathedon92]

What do you call a person who thinks all Americans are stupid? An Ignorant fool.

[PlagueRunner]

@Akirathedon92 you got it wrong those last 3 words its ment to be What do you call a person who thinks all Americans are stupid? A fucking truth teller

[mikeperr27]

@ 0:31 he plays the song that they used in goldentusks christmas video

[Cheeseisgood222]

RACIST JOKE:

whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit?

THE BUCKET! ahahah

[XxXxShAdOwS90xXxX]

@Cheeseisgood222 i've got one that's even more racist:

2 black men are in a car, who's driving?

THE COP!

... a little to far?

[Cheeseisgood222]

@XxXxShAdOwS90xXxX no, this is. A black guy walks in a conveinience store and buys something.

[XxXxShAdOwS90xXxX]

@Cheeseisgood222 Nice!!! XD

[aaronzack14]

There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got

[fartnuber]

WARNING EXTREAMLY RASIST JOKE INCOMMING!!!!

ok heres a joke... one day a black man walked into a store and bought something

[noskeb17]

@fartnuber THATS RACIST!!!!

[jasonmichaelfan]

@fartnuber i dont get it

[krawlings117]

@jasonmichaelfan the racist part being a person doesnt expect the black person to buy sumthin but again thats racist as fuck

[jasonmichaelfan]

@fartnuber no i get it  it.what i said was a joke also. i meant i dont understand how that would work

[sl991]

@fartnuber ROFL.....thats a good 1....ha ha ha

[TheZombieOutOfHell]

@fartnuber

That's hilarious! We all know black people don't buy things.

[pratiksrc]

@fartnuber thats so rasist :D

[jayjay12556]

@fartnuber lol im black but i that was pretty funny

[dion1score]

@fartnuber It was a Magnum condum...stop spying on me lol.

[holyknight70]

@fartnuber

WoW

[Ameerah49]

this is ssso stale !!!

[xXBiGAllYXx]

3 blondes walk into a building

Think one would've noticed?

[TheJysen]

dark humour isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby

[candyycebaby]

@TheJysen lol, that's actuali funni... is something wrong with me??

[Lightn0x]

After the gym class, a guy walks out of the showers naked with a soap in each of his hands. He sees three good looking ladies walking down and he freezes, not moving, as if he were a statue.

"Hey, what do you think this lever does?", the first girl says, grabbing his junk. The man drops one soap. "Hey, I think it's a soap machine"

The second girl grabs his junk and the man drops the 2nd soap. "You're right. It is"

The third girl grabs his junk. "Look, it even gives us liquid soap!"

[purplejello1784]

ther was a blonde a brunette and a red head walking down the street they c the cops pull up and they take off running. 1 hides behind a tree another behind a garbage can and another behind a sack of potatoes the cop goes by the tree 'bark' then by the garbage 'meow' and then by the potatoes and she sez 'potato potato potato'

[MrMoomy5]

i dun get it. 0.o

[thr333zy]

wtf idont get it

[djwilko7]

little johnnie from the earlier jokes seems to be the one who tells him his schlong is hanging out l?

[MrErki1234]

a smile face where hes thing is hahaha

[level200main]

What do you call a smart person in america? A tourist..

[Superfunny122]

@level200main i am really smart i am in all the higher classes and you see me killing people

[evilbeaver181]

@Superfunny122 tourist not terrorist

[laurendvdsn54]

@level200main makes no senese at all

[OoopsiesTV]

@level200main haha, i'm from the usa but's that's hilarious, i agree

[MRcoolGUY886]

@level200main only in Iowa

[PhoenixTomislav]

@level200main What's the difference between Aussies and pigs?

Pigs don't turn into Aussies when they drink.

[MonsterEnergy160]

@level200main bitch

[MonsterEnergy160]

@level200main bitch

[rangerocks68]

@level200main what do u call a ignorant person in europe a citizen

[Negative132]

@rangerocks68 Coming from someone who can't use proper grammar. ;)

[xTriggz]

@level200main Good one but stereotypes aren't smart, either.

[daabest1]

@level200mainn an American web production, posted on an American site, and allowed to exist by one of america's greatest inventions. stfu

[readeronly1]

@level200main

your mother is a fucking whore who never raised you right. You fucking faggot.

[garrettnosall]

@readeronly1 Calm the hell down dude Im american too but i can take a joke...

[readeronly1]

@garrettnosall

sorry, I get excited, I get so sick of people dumbing on the US on youtube. Its everywhere.

[garrettnosall]

@readeronly1 Its fine but it kinda makes me wish we weren't so sensitive, like the canadians, who can take a page of racist jokes and laugh watch "I walk my pet beaver across a frozen lake trying to avoid a moose then i go home to me igloo and drink maple syrup... eh?" read it in a canadian accent

[irondudeify]

@level200main you bastard

[zcoop823]

@level200main I'm American, and I still think it's funny ^-^

[MW2Eagle0388]

@level200main what do you call a retarded person where you live? normal

[level200main]

@MW2Eagle0388 worst comeback ever

[MW2Eagle0388]

@level200main calm down mr. boston steamer

[PulpFictionFTW88]

@level200main

Fuck you,I'll gut your ass pussy.

[roger09doger]

@PulpFictionFTW88 Ahaha i thought it was a funny joke.Fucking fat ass americans.You and your violence,And your guns.And your higher crime rate.

[justadragonmonster]

@level200main What do you call the world superpower? America.

[bajsmannensparty]

@geiuy hahah GEEEZUS i lol`d

[antigravitydawgz]

@geiuy HAHA i got one too. brits look like beavers with down syndrome!

[CrazyToastMan]

@geiuy F*ck you. I got another joke, your mama for giving birth to a douche.

[runescapedude47]

@geiuy i got a nice joke too people out of america are normal

[huzaifah123]

@runescapedude47 that doesn't make sense, if you're saying people out of america are non-normal that would make americans non-normal and people of of america normal since being normal is based on majority. If there were more handicapped people then non-handicapped people, that would make being handicapped normal and not being handicapped non-normal. dumb american

[runescapedude47]

@huzaifah123 what i ment to say was forgien but as you can see i spelt it wrong so it would make me look like an idiot btw forgieners are not normal by there cultures and just how they act are weird and there intrests too

[huzaifah123]

@runescapedude47 everyone is weird to someone

[numba1drycellfan]

@geiuy only stuck up europeans make crappy jokes about americans, im an american that has traveled and lived in multiple differnt places aachen germany, amsterdam netherlands, zagreb croatia, and hanoi vietnam. and i will have to tell you this. no matter where you go there is going to be an idiot, its just that since america has a bigger population then most other countries there are more idiots, but in europe there are more little countrys= the countries dont have a giant % of idiots

[Atolos1]

Im american too and for someone who has traveled around you have make others believe americans are idiots for the way you type

[numba1drycellfan]

@Atolos1 Next time you bash on somebody for not being the grammar nazi on youtube, make sure you use corect grammar yourself:) just saying

[lordofdarkdudes]

@numba1drycellfan wow youre easy to offend

[numba1drycellfan]

@geiuy but total across europe it has a higher % due to poverty:)

[bestpoison5]

@geiuy so you obviously must be american?

[4ta2r]

@geiuy commented the loser on an American web production, posted on an American site, and allowed to exist by one of america's greatest inventions.

[CptQuakers]

@4ta2r All possible thanks to a Brit. Don't mention It ;D

[4ta2r]

@CptQuakers touche

[weurRTG]

@4ta2r Yep. America's greatest inventions. Created in America. Created by immigrants.

[idontwearunderwear11]

@geiuy there are smart and stupid people everywhere mate.

[Gigaman1245]

@geiuy I got a nice joke:

smart are americans

[PaintNUrTaint]

@geiuy lol u jelly faggot?

[WeAreAllMadHere9]

@geiuy HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's the besy one I've ever heard.

[Ameerah49]

@geiuy lolz