vol.13 actiq diaries...post-withdrawal fentanyl & methadone

[MelindaShadowFighter]

R u still with your family?

[makeway4thebigfish]

All respect.

[ukusapillage]

use ritalin, it gives you a long high then a long sleep makes you brain produce so called 0pleasure horms and a high attention... does not have 2 secondary effects i promise, nothing, just bit high blood pressure, isnt addictive

[gyselboy]

No one and I mean no one can ever stay clean while holding a fetynal lolipop after 18 days of withdrawal. Imo whoever let you into that close proximity of fetynal at this stage in the game does care for you one fuckin bit Sorry but I just had to say it.

[justtubein1]

@gyselboy man so true,he's pooped..

[wilsmanpeterexcess]

thanks for the honest share. you're at least real about this shit

[GunToThaHead]

I feel for ya man. I'm a hardcore opiate addict myself, have tried getting clean numerous times, been thru detox well over 20 times, been on suboxone treatment bout 5 times and on methadone treatment, rehab, n/a, you name it. I'm still young, I'm 23 years old, but I have lost just about everything there is that I could possibly lose as a direct result of being an addict. It's torn my life to fucking shreds, and I really do feel for ya man. Hope you were able to stick with it and stay clean..

[woolfsblood]

hi. i've been off methadone for 20 days today. i was at 130 mgs for about a year and a half. i jumped against docs orders because like you said ,paraphrase, i don't want to take 2 fucking years to kick. the day i got off methadone i started on 1000 mgs of morphine and felt pretty normal but as i'm sure you know scoring everyday with flaky fucks turns you into a detoxing fool.... fast. i started getting so fucking sick. i've kicked a4 year heroin addiction cold turkey but this is a monster

[chrishouchins49]

Yeah one thing i have found to definately help my methadone withdrawals is by smoking as much herb as possible. I know that one must smoke as much as possible when the withdrawals get at their worst but I find that it's very much worth it! It might cost you a pretty penny affording all the weed but still that is much cheaper than opiates/opiods. If you need to get off of benzos you can just do that on a slow basis. Don't tell ur doctor that you want to go down so you'll keep all ur benzos.

[MiBlazed]

I no how you feel I felt like SHIT for around 5 to 6 months after i got off HEAVY HEAVY doses of pain meds. your lucky seroquel doesnt even work for me any more nothing will put me to sleep when im withdrawling that works except drinking my self into a coma and smoking tons of herb. But the drinking isnt good i tried to just stay high on herb for as long as i could befor i got better but i got medical so it wasnt so bad and your not weak saying its a countdown i fucked up alot befor i got sober

[mobiusstrip01]

@MiBlazed yep...i have been slowly coming to the realization that, given my health issues, there may be no clear end to the need to use pain meds. depressing...especially since i fucked up my tolerance to INSANE level (hint: i tried to off myself once, used 12 fentanyl swabs--1200 mcg, second-highest dosage possible-- within about an hour and a half, swabbing constantly, hoping to fall asleep and not wake up. i was fine...so strange.......so i'm making a mess trying to tweak the tolerance down

[mobiusstrip01]

@MiBlazed and seroquel only works the first few times i use it.....but it only worked for a couple hours while i was in w/d. then i was up, miserable, and in a FUCKED place in my head b/c of the seroquel. beauty, eh?

[mobiusstrip01]

@MiBlazed also........i seem to have lost my ability to stick with drinking enough to get drunk...and i don't/can't smoke herb.

[MiBlazed]

I no how you feel I felt like SHIT for around 5 to 6 months after i got off HEAVY HEAVY doses of pain meds.

[kevinlyonsfougere]

did u ever try to start smoking weed to take your mind off of the opiates . i know it has really helped me .

[mobiusstrip01]

@kevinlyonsfougere sorry, missed this...but i've tried smoking ONE TIME and found that it disagreed strongly with me. don't know why...plus...i was in w/d at the time, and i STILL had my physical symptoms...but my mind was dealing with different shit...so it distracted me just a bit but i did not like it. it could be that some day i could smoke if i was NOT on anything else, but it would be tough for me b/c i HATE inhaling ANYTHING into my lungs.

[owen1967]

Wow man it's great to see people in misery when I'm going through my Methadone withdrawal. God bless you man I found little bits and pieces of good stuff to hear so thanks again.

[mobiusstrip01]

@owen1967

i know what you mean. you never want to think you're suffering alone, and seeing others def. helps the state of mind, if not the physical stuff. how long you been detoxing? how long did you use? methadone is EVIL to come off of...i almost think they should start counseling ppl that IF they choose to use it they may as well commit to it for life. same goes with suboxone/subutex. but yeah, yer welcome...if it's all i could do is help one person i feel OK about doing this.

[mobiusstrip01]

hey exG--well, i'm alive...and yes, i haven't made a new vid in awhile...although i've been responding to all messages/replies to videos since then...so i've been around.

as for HOW i've been doing...i'm struggling big-time. i'm assuming you've watched at least the last vid...so you know my situation. it hasn't changed--still living with my family, so my issue is also unchanged. in fact, i'll be posting a new video in the next 24 hours...

thanks for your response.

[ExGoldie]

Hey! How have you been doing? It's been over a month since you've made a new video telling us you're OK. Are you OK? Please update us! I pray you're taking care of yourself!

[mobiusstrip01]

@ExGoldie ---hey, i obviously didn't get to post a new vid before i went offline for almost two weeks. i'll be doing that real shortly...feel like i owe it, especially since a couple of things have changed that i think will interest ppl (even if it goddamn near kills ME... ;) ).

but thanks for asking about me...

[phuckingemailmehere]

i wouldnt be able to abstain dont feel weak man its an addiction a fucking disease, use it if you have to goto a painclinic i feel just like you. i take seroquel xanax and suboxone but still fentanyl

[mobiusstrip01]

@phuckingemailmehere --am i misunderstanding?? you're taking subox PLUS fentanyl?? subox is a total blocker...not supposed to allow any other opioids to reach receptors??? can you actually FEEL any effects of the fentanyl while on subox?? or did you stop for awhile?

i take seroquel, too...sometimes it's the only way i can get any sleep at all.

[mobiusstrip01]

suupertjc--yeah, i was taking a lot of hot baths...felt pretty gay, but got some temporary relief...

jcorley--yes i am...i can just feel this massive FAIL looming over me, just waiting. BUT...well, it CAN be done, especially if you take some steps to make it hard for you to get your meds. i wish i could do that and still have a family. i KNOW i could do it EASILY if the meds weren't right here. easily.

hey, keep it up...you should be on the full downhill side by now. good luck.

[jcorley2710]

To be going through the hell you are going through right now and be able to pick that up and put it down, you're not weak. It's hard bro. I'm in the same boat. I just recently came off an oxycontin addiction hence why I watched all your video's. I'm On day 3 here and just needed a little inspiration. But I hope you're doing well... great taste in music btw.

[mobiusstrip01]

@jcorley2710 -so...tell me, how are you doing with being clean?

re: music...yeah, i do have great taste, don't i? which exactly you referring to? the suidakra or muse or hypocrisy/fear factory/QOTS??? got some more great stuff coming up, too...check out HATEFUCK from the bravery, or anything eluveitie...

[GunToThaHead]

@mobiusstrip01 fear factory and eluveitie kick ass. i wasn't sure what you were listening to in the background of these videos, but i could tell it was most likely something badass lol. \m/

[supertjc]

Hey i feel your pain man... I have been on about 50-30mg a methadone daily for about 11 years now for chronic pain, I just recently went down to 10mg and now 5mg 1 time daily. I am on my 3rd week free of methadone and can honestly say that tramadol has helped me tremendously. Considering how long i have been taken the methadone i didn't think i could do it physically!! Another thing that helps alot is "HOTTUB" great for your muscles and bones aching...

Try it... You wont regret it!! GL!

[mobiusstrip01]

this time it was 180 plus the fentanyl, which was 1200 mcg's 3-6 X/day...

[jasonmoore28]

how many milligrams of methadone are you detoxing from?, don't think i heard you mention it, or i just missed it.

[xclarky]

Hope its all going well you say you are weak, but remember, many people wouldnt be able to get to this point, let alone worry about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (me included!). And if you do cock up, youll be x-amount stronger next time.

I know its like giving an alcoholic a shandy, but what I did last time was acquire some low-level opiates such as codeine to ride out the last few days. You can even get them OTC in the UK (up to 12.8mg per tablet).

Anyway, hang on in there!