Mitchell and Webb - Bad Waiter

[Dave66xx]

"And I can't believe you're continuing with this." Haha!

[Clarince1]

When he said mate i thought this guy was fkng with the waiter. Its like btch if you look at it on a natural perspective.

[maxandsagey]

AND THAT WAS A BAAAAAD MISS!

[Proxtown]

Did anyone notice the music was a weird smooth jazz piano version of the opening few bars of the Anvil Chorus?

[EvenflowBlack]

David Mitchell is awesome at being evil. I'd like to see him playing the next re-generation of The Master in Doctor Who.

[myopium]

"My, my, it's like watching the generation game... I expect that's a reference you get!" Brilliant!

[EngleSackJus]

I didnt know Adolf Hitlers cousin works at The River Palm Restaraunt!!!

[mmspurs]

... And get out!! I was laughing so hard after seeing this, my drink came right out of my nose and almost broke the laptop!

[rachel11smith]

Isn't that the girl who plays Doris in Hot Fuzz?

[Devzla0]

@rachel11smith yes it is

[Philsaccountable]

@rachel11smith

Olivia Colman.

[scaryninja1693]

@rachel11smith "I'm always up for a midnight gobble" Yes. Yes she is.

[him050]

You hold your ladel like a pen!

[SaturnEternity]

Hilarious! But if this were an American comedy he'd have whooped his ass on the spot ;)

[badboi0800]

That friendly Australian girl gets a lot of work.

[angiierous]

Everyone hates it when a waiter asks, "Are you done with that?" When my plate is completely empty. - No, clearly I want to eat the plate, too. x-(

[cykoaudio777]

"Don't you know I can destroy you?"..gratifyingly mute girlfriend..use that a lot now...

[18superapple]

Ironic how the waiter asks "Are you ready to order sir?"

[AxelXI]

24 people were being watched on the monitors in the kitchen

[coxi666]

The thing is that actually, the waiter is right. He is saying it as it is, instead of being a massive pussy. He airs his views and it is brilliant!

[1stcrayvenaa]

I fucking hate posh people who think etiquette is the be all and end all of everything, when really it's just a way for people to self-satisfyingly differentiate themselves from the working classes.

Multiple forks? Fuck off, I'm using chopsticks.

[domalaonric]

Love it ^__^ hahaha

[hawkbit13]

''make sure you kill it right, or its poisonous..'' That line really cracked me up. The audience didn't seem to laugh too hard at it though : / Fantastic sketch altogether of course!

[HarryisI]

"You know that I can destroy you."

I was most pleased when that threat came up, a personal favourite.

[SuperTruth77]

I worked as Middle East sales rep for a major UK arms manufacturer in the 90s/00s. It was interesting & fantastically well-paid, but some elements disturbed me.

We were taken to a restaurant one night & a young guy serving us accidentally spilt water on my suit. I maybe complained a little too much- the next thing my host spoke to the owner & the guy was marched out, crying & protesting. I was later told he was sacked & sent to a horrible offshore terminal with a sky-high suicide rate.

[sodoffpinches]

@SuperTruth77 i hope you're pleased with yourself. I hate moaners, it was only some water and you had to go and moan about it. Look what you did you nasty piece of work.

[inthefurnace]

"...get your bawdy, but gratifyingly mute girlfriend, and get out!"

Love it

[callumrocksyoursocks]

Aw, where'd the light switch go??

[ThatCheshireLadBloke]

IT'S ALL IN THE WRIST!!!!!

[ec123456789able]

the honeymoons over, LMAO

[usenetposts]

This is the first sketch of this Mr Mitchell I've ever seen, and I do hope there's more. This was sheer brilliance. "Incredibly posh people who are still unaccountably waiters".... "gratifyingly mute girlfriend".... This should run and run!

[diogeneslaertius666]

off ya go

[6wewib]

these are my weapons, it's all in the wrist

[Noodles37UK]

Once talked to a wine snob on the bus. Of the most pompous wankers I've ever spoken to.

[5H4K490]

@Noodles37UK bet you wish you had a gun for that incounter take the attitude straight out with his brian

[pattayalob]

@5H4K490 would that be the "brian" from Family Guy? or was your school free, too?

[5H4K490]

@pattayalob okay grammar nazi my mistake and no my school wasnt free because my dad payed taxes which is what funds schools aswell as the rest of the public sector in this country

[mugget]

Hahahaha

Gratifyingly mute girlfriend. Like!

[deanh1997]

"She's gone sir."

"They've all gone."

"And we're back."

who?

"The incredibly posh people who are still unacountably waiters."

Epically funny

[HcmJames]

is there always a "friendly australian girl who used to work here"?

[deanh1997]

@HcmJames There was but she's gone. they've all gone!

[HcmJames]

@deanh1997 AND WE'RE BACK

[krayzai174]

LOL! Observe my trolley....these are my weapons!!!

[FandPrulethesky]

Before I went to uni I worked in a amazingly posh place, and the head waiter was David Mitchell in this sketch. He was rude, and looked down on everyone. Why he did it for 35years ill never now.

[EddieAlexanderRocks]

I want more of this guy!! I love 'em XD

[Theflangemonster]

I've worked as a waiter in many places, how I wish I could have said everything Daivid Mitchell said in this sketch!!!!

[socrstreets]

"dunking your"

He said that guys, in case you didn't know.

[jimmyshitbags]

david mitchell has the best characters ever, he's got the posh southerner down perfectly

[G1NZOU]

I wish I could be like this with customers, I dare not risk it though.

[ToesofPickles]

This one and the sketch called Shop are strikingly similar.

[pattayalob]

@ToesofPickles - well spotted there, the sketches are similar, I bet your school WAS free.

[pattayalob]

and take your tawdry (is that right?) but gratifyingly mute girlfriend and get out ! wonderful stuff....

[pattayalob]

"provided your school wasn't free!" Classic

[DematrasJunkOfDOOOM]

transcribe audio is hilarious lol

'youre talking to the doctors id like to the merger how can i possibly interviews'

[xeractus]

In the bad shop assistant/waiter/priest sketches, I'm always rooting for the aristocratic character. Am I alone?

[TheMetalPenguin]

@xeractus No, me too! To an extent I agree with them, just on a far less extreme level. :P

[axec]

@xeractus - you are certainly not alone!

[pattayalob]

@xeractus no you are not alone, I agree too.

[slacknhash]

@xeractus Hell no! It's revenge. Every waiter must have wanted to do this at some point, whenever the customer doesn't tip, or thinks that because the waiter's there to serve he or she is there to be exploited...

[1stcrayvenaa]

@xeractus yes. power to the proletariat!

[allblue88]

@xeractus ofc!

[GusF]

"You know that I can destroy you."

[ThriceDog]

Transcribe audio is fantastic. The in the polish people who are still on account of the wages.

[pattayalob]

@ThriceDog - would like to translate into English please?

[jal123me]

HAHAHA! i love English comidy

[spongiebungie]

HOW can I possibly introduce you to the manager- reminds me of the CBA 20 years ago. Pricelessly funny- where are the outtakes !!!

[PurushaDesa]

David Mitchell needs to be the new Blofeld. Make it happen Mendes!

[Pok3manDudez]

lol

[tommyddoolin]

@hagbard72

Wow, what a hilarious stab at a comedy show that has laughter in it. You are so funny. =/

[Mad2k5]

lol

[MoonAharshMistress]

@hagbard72 me too..the material they keep hacking aint cutting it.

[bareakon]

well, he was justified.

the guy WAS holding his ladle like a pen, that dick!

[NightMarkVII]

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SWAP.

[deadredeyes]

"We were watching you on the monitors in the kitchen, and we all thought you were a dick"

Hahahaha!!!!!!

[wooglebump2]

AHH PRICELESS

[YaMumYaNanYaGran]

Provided your school wasn't free!!!

ha ha ha

[chubbycheeks2]

1:44

Just like a puffer fish

[contheawesome]

what an awesome sketch :) i still prefer the one where david's a posh vicar tho XD

[froglet42]

"the incredibly posh people who are still, unacountably, waiters."

:D awesome

[Nexius8]

We've got all our freindly girls back. WOOT!

[squalobadhanuddin]

I want to be a waiter now, just so I can do that to a lot of customers

[UdallIn72]

Were there any other of these besides the vicar and shop ones?

[kalgema]

Mate? house red? to be going on with?  EPIC!

[Vecio88C]

Simply the best , M&W!!!

[SonicLightning95]

' And we all thought you were a dick'

XDDDDD

[1990ricky1990]

didn't even tip...

[YoureGoinOverboard]

What Did Happen To The Friendly Australian Girl?

[Pooknottin]

She's gone sir. They're all gone. Back to their origional homes due to our shattered economy. And we're back. The increadibly poor, out of work people so apparent during a recession, or burgeoning industrial age.

[RockyBiscuits]

@Pooknottin, you are officially a God xD

[Pooknottin]

You are too kind.

[mutiilation]

@Pooknottin what

[Pooknottin]

@mutiilation If you don't get it, just don't worry about it.

[Pooknottin]

@mutiilation Oh, I see... you're American.

I'd explain, but it's hardly relevant to the limited part of your continet that you occupy, so surely you won't actuallly be interested.

[mutiilation]

@Pooknottin Thanks

[Pooknottin]

@mutiilation Sorry, I'm going through a bad-patch right now... well always really - and my 'bitch-gland' is working overtime.

[TheMrbollox]

she's gone

[principearabias]

Totally agree, mate ;-) It also happened to other European cultures - their politeness standards were lost in the last 20 years.

[1stcrayvenaa]

@CommanderKrail What's wrong with calling someone mate?

Do you frown upon lower people who dare to think that someone like you would be on their level? Really?

[Slixer]

@CommanderKrail the matter of factly way he states anyone from a paying school would know such rules would lead one to draw the conclusion he is from the upper class or at least middle class and that the restuarant is in fact a more up market one. Also the sense of him standing up for himself is non-existent purely because nobody was infact talking down to him.

[MajBlood]

@CommanderKrail Wow you are a dick.

[thesteveus]

I'd like to give that bird a right good seeing to

[mgo26]

That friendly Australian girl must have been busy!

[petaboil]

its all in the writst >.>

[Xithinar]

Make sure you kill it right, or it's poison.

[illevenlickthegravy]

"We were watching you on the monitors in the kitchen; and we all thought you were a dick!"

LMFAO!

[williamstackford]

"We're back - the posh people who are unaccountably waiters."

Genius.

[ednuttah]

vichyssoise fork? Thats genius really, I shall introduce that to my cuttlery, along with the " cold cuts spoon "

[jjheadspace55]

<3 love this!

[FiberL]

i would actually get a job at a restuaraunte just so i could do that

[fampie2008]

lol

"You're not allowed to swap"

[JapeUK]

"You hold your ladle like a pen"

XD

[IsabelSinger]

"Your not allowed to swap."

His voice tone made me laugh!

[yellowcougar18]

I love his manager speech. Too right. I wonder how many waiters and waitresses, among other people working behind the counter will be thinking of that any time someone asks to see the manager.

[Blacknarcissa]

It just goes to show, you can't be too careful.

[tomharding]

"We all thought you were a dick"

HAHA!

[owenhunt]

When he says things like that it reminds me a lot of David Firth's brand of humour.

[EvilMuzz]

"Mate...?"

[9886635574]

Hahaha.. 'Introduce you to the manager?' OWNAGE!

[SmegForBrainz]

Most awesomest show eva!

[smudzi]

We're back!

[Gaslight61375]

These skits remind me of the sarcastic a-hole who always turned up to torment Jack Benny. :D Good stuff then, good stuff now!

[VisProductions]

"...providing your school wasn't free" LOL :-)

[LondonPride25]

The actual quote is "provided your school wasn't free", the simple past progressive, not "providing", the gerund. Tut tut.

[falstaffswims]

"you know that I can destroy you."

[stu1701E]

"You haven't shaved, you're not wearing a tie and you hold your ladle like a pen"

Sadly this is all too common in restaurants these days. People never seem to know how to dress, speak or act.

[Shaggy3A]

Too fucking right.

[1stcrayvenaa]

@stu1701E Or be tolerant of other people's choices.

OH WAIT

[MelchiahTheObscene]

By the gods! The same gag three whole times?! Perhaps we should shoot them for utilising the concept of the running gag.

[03cammd79]

we were watching you on the moniters in the kitchen, and we all thought you were a dick! lolz

[mandeepsingh1992]

Shes gone sir.... there all gone.

[zsimmitus]

...and we're back

[floydthefraud]

''the incredibly posh people who are still unaccountably waiters'' haaaha

[Linds6259]

"Make sure you kill it right, or its poisonous" HAHAHA

[Shadowvex101]

one acronym for that: LMAO!!!!!

[rhysdad]

'take your gratifyingly mute girlfriend and get out!'

bloody genius!!!

[Robisalive]

I expect that's a reference you get! XD

[StevieComedyChannel]

LOL My fav sketch of M & W!! :)

[Blamenck2]

We all thought you were a bitch

We all thought that you looked like a turd

We all thought that you were a dick :D

Funniest quotes ever!

[hulahoop34]

mate? the house red? to be going on with?

XD

your not allowed to swap XD

[Sessioner11]

*Insert Comment From Sketch Here*

Wait for thumbs up

[omgthissucks148]

*Inserts the part after your insert from the Sketch*

Wait for thumbs up

[Slickback83]

@Sessioner11

hahahahahah

so true

[fragman08]

@Sessioner11 your comment is about as annoying as the quotes.

[zionravescene]

@Sessioner11 [votes thumbs down]

[TheRationalRant]

@Sessioner11 Don't forget to add a "lol" or a "lmao" so people know it's funny.

[deekomendez]

@TheRationalRant lol

[spudhufer]

@Sessioner11 yeh cause you are so much more clever ...HaHA good for you your clever...oooops I mean a stupid F*&k

[Sessioner11]

@spudhufer well that comment made sense didn't it....

[spudhufer]

@Sessioner11 It did if it pointed out your an ass...if not ...then no

[Sessioner11]

@spudhufer you're*

[TheRationalRant]

@spudhufer ...HUH?!

[03cammd79]

i love the way its the same format at the vicar sketch (which is a bit more funny though)

"and we all thought you were a DICK!" HAHAH XD

[cl0sa]

"you GETT!"

[shearer4eva]

u hold ur ladel like a pen!

[NIRL91]

the incredibly posh people who are still unaccountably waiters

Hahaha

providing your school wasn't free

[jackchrisevans]

what does the woman say at 0:09 after "Gastro pubs"?

[AyStandAlone]

All-Bar-One its a UK chain of gastro pubs.

[x0xDarthWyylokx0x]

"and we all thought you were a DICK" LOL

[Andrew1990M]

Just goes to show you can't be too careful.

[baclough91]

These sketches are definitely the best that MandW have done.

[KarenElhyam]

Where the hell do you think you are?

[Mugghole]

these scenes are awesome

[tehsuperpotato]

I love these sketches.