Lauren, awesome job with your thoroughness. I've been studying this a lot recently because terms have changed so much in the past twenty years and so many new terms have become mainstream (or hopefully are getting there). I didn't even realize that my words may be offensive to some even though I am open-minded and accepting because I was not on top of all the accepted terminology. Thanks so much for opening my eyes!
@rainbowbubblesXD That's awesome! I got a lot of responses saying I should make a video about asexuality, pansexuality and other often forgotten about sexualities so I might do so in the future.
thank you for the informitive video! i didn't know about the t-word, so i'm glad you told me =) one question though- is "drag queen" considered offensive? it's commonly used by people, but knowing what i know now, it sounds offensive
@thephantombutterfly6 Drag queen is totally acceptable so long as the person you're talking about identifies that way! The only time it wouldn't be is if you're using it as an insult or saying that a trans woman is a drag queen or something like that. If you're ever in doubt, you can politely ask someone how they identify. Just be respectful and willing to learn :]
Although I consider myself to be knowledgeable on LGBTQ issues, there were a lot of things in this video that I wasn't aware of, especially the terminology! Thank you for making such a helpful video!
You are awesome. I'm a transguy and I love the clarity and succinctness that you used in this video. I might steal some of your language because i'm teaching a trans 101 to my queer-straight alliance thingee.
haha you sounded so aggressive when you said "I hope this video was informative".. don't worry, it was :D You're totally awesome! I'm glad I subscribed to this channel.
I think I'm going to post this to my Facebook, just like your Coming Out Day video... perhaps I am not as eloquent on these issues as you are, but I can always use the internet to communicate what you say to my circle of influence anyways. You are supercalifreakingdocious!
I think that maybe for some of these informative videos we should remove the 4 minute rule so you have enough time to say what you want to say. I would also love to see a Trans 102
Lauren, your my favorite blogger. Not don't get me wrong Kelly and Julian are unique in their own rights, but Lauren, you got swagger. Making videos that are important (important to me, not saying that Ayn Rand or anything else is unimportant), is what is what gives you that swagger.
okay as a straight person i feel like I'm really ignorant about all this stuff so please explain this situation to me: I know a girl who identifies as a lesbian and was dating another girl but that girl then got surgery and is now a man. So now, this girl who identifies as a lesbian, is dating a male. I'm sorry if this sounds stupid and like I'm trying to "label" people but I really am just confused. How does this work??
@weberx23 Well first, any medical treatment didn't make him a man. He has always been a man, even if he wasn't open about it before. To your question, there's a big controversy even within the community about "if a lesbian dates a trans man is she still a lesbian and does that invalidate his male status?" It comes down to the fact that sexuality is more fluid than we give it credit for and a lot of people can love someone who defies the sex or gender they're attracted to...
@thehpalliance ...I had a sexual studies prof once who identifies as a straight woman, but was in a 4 yr relationship with a woman. She identified as straight then and still does now. It's a personal decision, I suppose. Some people wouldn't like to be in a relationship with someone who says they're not attracted to people of their gender, but some are okay with it. This is one of the many times that labels fail us. The important thing is that you're trying to respectfully understand :] -Lauren
@weberx23 This is the situation I am in. I am a FTM and my gf still says she is a lesbian. It is true I am going to be finally seen as a man (which I have always thought I was) If we were to break up she is going to stay with women. For the most part it is just a label. Some people get a little more vulgar and say w.o a penis I am not a man, and thus I am still a woman and so that means my gf is still with a woman thus a lesbian.
If you make a Trans 102 video could you touch on gender identity vs sexuality? I'm a trans man and when I first came out people assumed I'd date girls. But I like guys. So, then came the confusion of "are you gay? straight?". I'm a man which is part of my identity and since I'm attracted to men I identify as gay. I know a lot of straight transmen get the same confusion (and sometimes get asked if they're lesbians). I think it's just good info for cis gendered people to know. :) Also, I wanted...
@ThisisAidan That was originally in this video and it got cut. It's something that's very important to me in diffusing assumptions about trans people so it will most definitely be included if there's a Trans 102. -Lauren
Hello. I have a confusion here that I hope cnan be explained to me. I do not really understand how trangender people see
Themselves differently. How do they know which gender they are? I mean, there is no longer any real defining characteristics of gender anymore~ there are girls who wear girly clothes and girls who wear tomboyish clothes, boys who play sports and boys who ice-skate. I understand sex and sexuality, but how can a person know which gender they are if there is no real criteria? I
@HM909 Looks like part of your comment got cut off, but I'll respond to what's there. It is difficult for nontrans (or cisgender) people to understand, but just like you know for certain that you're a girl, trans people know for certain that they are whatever gender they are. Most (not all) know from the time they're toddlers and it's very traumatic living in a body that doesn't match what they know their gender to be. It goes beyond clothes & interests...
@HM909 ...which, you're right, are wonderfully being blended more now. But trans people don't have the right body, they aren't perceived by the world as the right gender. Just imagine if one day you woke up with male body parts and the whole world treated you like a man even though you know that you're a girl. So yes, the criteria for gender is a lot more ambiguous these days and a lot of it is created by society, but it goes a lot deeper than that for trans people...
@HM909 Sorry if all of that still isn't clear. It's something that can take a long time of personal critical thinking and discussion to wrap your mind around, but thank you so much for being genuine about your confusion and curiosity! -Lauren
I really think we should all just stop labelling people. Labels just breed inequality. Who cares if you're Latino, or Polish, or Bisexual? You're human. That's what matters. Nothing else.
@Pottsylird I like to tell myself the same thing. I don't fit into labels very well. I think it's a great way of looking at oneself, but we live in a world that functions with labels. If the whole world decided to do away with labels and every human got equal rights and was treated the same, that would be awesome, but these labels have been put on us & they're keeping some people from having their full human rights so we've got to work with them at least for that reason. -Lauren
I'm considered a crossdresser by others but I am not.
I am just a crossplayer, a person who cosplays (costume play) as the opposite gender. Its a part of me, kinda like the guy ice skating to Village People. XD So I really liked you included that bit.
in the end it doesn't matter how someone feels, it matters if we treat them in a respectful way. In the netherlands we have a saying that goes like this: Wat U niet wil dat U geschiedt, doe dit ook een ander niet. It can be translated, as: What you don't want happening to you, don't do it to others. I think that is an excellent way of living because it makes you think about how you would want to be treated if you walked a mile in someone's shoes.
I don't get why we are focusing so hard on LGBTQ month if were straight. Im white, I don't go nuts when its black history month and I don't think my black friends want me too. Just let them do there thing I have a couple gay friends and I just let them do their thing, I think sometimes the best way to raise awareness about sexuality inequality is to just not even bring it up when you're hanging out with them.
@jumanjihock LGBTQ History Month is a time to spread awareness about the issues and inequalities. We might have to agree to disagree, but I don't understand how LGBTQ people can ever feel supported if their friends and straight allies don't vocalize their support. I get where you're coming from of treating everyone the same and not focusing on their sexuality, but if there isn't an open discourse it might imply that it's taboo and not okay, which is especially harmful for young people.
@jumanjihock Also, LGBTQ equality is something that the HPA actively fights for. We've done multiple campaigns to raise awareness about bullying and campaign for marriage equality. As an organization, we're using this month to spotlight one of our major focuses and educate members on issues that might not be as mainstream. -Lauren
Being bisexual myself, I'd really really love if you covered the umbrella term that is "bisexual". Your videos are very interesting and I'd love to see more. :)
I kind of wish Pansexual was talked more about just because when anyone ever mentions Pan in my group of friends they think of the Greek God or Pan as in Peter.
@weasleyrokchick75 Same. Though... I kind of like the comparisons to Pan and Peter Pan... but I'm just strange. I feel like I'm hearing about it slightly more lately though that's probably just being on college campuses. So many different sexual orientations and gender identities to talk about... I want to make a video for all of them! -Lauren
@thehpalliance Yeah some of my friends asked me if I was a lost boy and for some reason it made me smile because it was silly. This was after I tried to thoroughly explain it to them. I don't expect anyone at my school to know much though. I live in a small town in Missouri they tend to be naive and prejudice but they get better with time. I can't wait for college.
I recently made friends with a couple of transgender people, initially (and still occasionally) I used incorrect pronouns when talking with them-which was really quite stressful! I felt like as though I was upsetting them (which was a worrying thought-as they were awesome, and that they were my friends) that I shouldn't talk with them if I can't get their pronouns right . But they said as long as I tried, and was open minded and accepted their identity that a few screw ups wouldn't matter!
Love this video. I'm a genderqueer/genderfluid person who usually identifies as male. :) One thing you might want to also cover is bisexuality. I'm bisexual and people tend to think it means I MUST have more than one partner (today is my two year anniversary with my fiancé, who I'm completely monogamous with.) Many think this means I'm now "straight" (based of my birth sex) or "gay" (based on my gender identity) but I'm still bisexual, and always will be.
@VolunteerNerdfighter So true. Whenever I mention it, people still think I'm talking about asexual reproduction in cells. *headdesk* There are lots of gender identities and sexual orientations that need more public/media presence so people can be informed and accept them. -Lauren
@VolunteerNerdfighter Mostly in the Rocky Horror episode. They said "tranny" twice, but cut "transsexual" from the song "Sweet Transvestite." Aside from being offensive, it didn't make any logical sense. With language it's usually something the network controls, not the writers... and the fact that Fox has been named one of the most LGBT-friendly networks on TV just shows us how much work is left to do in the awareness department. Still, I'm a total Gleek. -Lauren
Lauren, awesome job with your thoroughness. I've been studying this a lot recently because terms have changed so much in the past twenty years and so many new terms have become mainstream (or hopefully are getting there). I didn't even realize that my words may be offensive to some even though I am open-minded and accepting because I was not on top of all the accepted terminology. Thanks so much for opening my eyes!
AmyShookable 4 months ago
I was recently made aware that a friend of mine is asexual and pan-romantic, and it reminded me of your video. So thanks!
rainbowbubblesXD 4 months ago
@rainbowbubblesXD That's awesome! I got a lot of responses saying I should make a video about asexuality, pansexuality and other often forgotten about sexualities so I might do so in the future.
-Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
thank you for the informitive video! i didn't know about the t-word, so i'm glad you told me =) one question though- is "drag queen" considered offensive? it's commonly used by people, but knowing what i know now, it sounds offensive
thephantombutterfly6 4 months ago
@thephantombutterfly6 Drag queen is totally acceptable so long as the person you're talking about identifies that way! The only time it wouldn't be is if you're using it as an insult or saying that a trans woman is a drag queen or something like that. If you're ever in doubt, you can politely ask someone how they identify. Just be respectful and willing to learn :]
-Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
This is a really great video. I'm glad you put it out there for everyone to see.
KatherineHSchneider 4 months ago
Although I consider myself to be knowledgeable on LGBTQ issues, there were a lot of things in this video that I wasn't aware of, especially the terminology! Thank you for making such a helpful video!
demonicmarionette 4 months ago
You are awesome. I'm a transguy and I love the clarity and succinctness that you used in this video. I might steal some of your language because i'm teaching a trans 101 to my queer-straight alliance thingee.
QueerlyK 4 months ago
Informative and respectful!
Frodine86 4 months ago
Will you be going to Vidcon next year? It would be awesome to see you there! :D
banz224 4 months ago
@banz224 I want to! I haven't looked at all the new announcements yet, but I hope I can go. -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
This is a very informative video! Excellent job! :-)
maggiehanna 4 months ago
haha you sounded so aggressive when you said "I hope this video was informative".. don't worry, it was :D You're totally awesome! I'm glad I subscribed to this channel.
xnotcleverlynamed 4 months ago
@xnotcleverlynamed Ha that was me trying to be less aggressive... oops! -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
I think I'm going to post this to my Facebook, just like your Coming Out Day video... perhaps I am not as eloquent on these issues as you are, but I can always use the internet to communicate what you say to my circle of influence anyways. You are supercalifreakingdocious!
thesunsgonewibbly 4 months ago
Great video!
I think that maybe for some of these informative videos we should remove the 4 minute rule so you have enough time to say what you want to say. I would also love to see a Trans 102
arandompiece 4 months ago 5
@arandompiece I definitely think the 4 minute rule should not be applied to videos like this!
theblock14 4 months ago
@arandompiece I kind of agree. I just didn't want to initiate that clause without asking for this one. -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
@thehpalliance use the vlogbrothers clause that edfuactional vids can be longer
greg2230 4 months ago
I love these videos that you have been doing this month! Do you think you'd continue this theme later even after October ends?
decreaserofsuck 4 months ago
@decreaserofsuck I have some ideas whirring around my head. -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
French the llama was that informative!
habojspade 4 months ago 3
Lauren, your my favorite blogger. Not don't get me wrong Kelly and Julian are unique in their own rights, but Lauren, you got swagger. Making videos that are important (important to me, not saying that Ayn Rand or anything else is unimportant), is what is what gives you that swagger.
TheyCalledMeHunter 4 months ago
okay as a straight person i feel like I'm really ignorant about all this stuff so please explain this situation to me: I know a girl who identifies as a lesbian and was dating another girl but that girl then got surgery and is now a man. So now, this girl who identifies as a lesbian, is dating a male. I'm sorry if this sounds stupid and like I'm trying to "label" people but I really am just confused. How does this work??
weberx23 4 months ago
@weberx23 Well first, any medical treatment didn't make him a man. He has always been a man, even if he wasn't open about it before. To your question, there's a big controversy even within the community about "if a lesbian dates a trans man is she still a lesbian and does that invalidate his male status?" It comes down to the fact that sexuality is more fluid than we give it credit for and a lot of people can love someone who defies the sex or gender they're attracted to...
thehpalliance 4 months ago
@thehpalliance ...I had a sexual studies prof once who identifies as a straight woman, but was in a 4 yr relationship with a woman. She identified as straight then and still does now. It's a personal decision, I suppose. Some people wouldn't like to be in a relationship with someone who says they're not attracted to people of their gender, but some are okay with it. This is one of the many times that labels fail us. The important thing is that you're trying to respectfully understand :] -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
@weberx23 This is the situation I am in. I am a FTM and my gf still says she is a lesbian. It is true I am going to be finally seen as a man (which I have always thought I was) If we were to break up she is going to stay with women. For the most part it is just a label. Some people get a little more vulgar and say w.o a penis I am not a man, and thus I am still a woman and so that means my gf is still with a woman thus a lesbian.
Wesleyintheory 4 months ago
Great video. It's very informative and a good reminder that NO ONE should be forced to live in a cupboard. Peace and love XX
Loveisallyouneed73 4 months ago
to thank you for making such a thoughtful well put together video. I'm glad I found you through Hank. I'm excited to see your other videos. :)
ThisisAidan 4 months ago
If you make a Trans 102 video could you touch on gender identity vs sexuality? I'm a trans man and when I first came out people assumed I'd date girls. But I like guys. So, then came the confusion of "are you gay? straight?". I'm a man which is part of my identity and since I'm attracted to men I identify as gay. I know a lot of straight transmen get the same confusion (and sometimes get asked if they're lesbians). I think it's just good info for cis gendered people to know. :) Also, I wanted...
ThisisAidan 4 months ago
@ThisisAidan That was originally in this video and it got cut. It's something that's very important to me in diffusing assumptions about trans people so it will most definitely be included if there's a Trans 102. -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
Hello. I have a confusion here that I hope cnan be explained to me. I do not really understand how trangender people see
Themselves differently. How do they know which gender they are? I mean, there is no longer any real defining characteristics of gender anymore~ there are girls who wear girly clothes and girls who wear tomboyish clothes, boys who play sports and boys who ice-skate. I understand sex and sexuality, but how can a person know which gender they are if there is no real criteria? I
HM909 4 months ago
@HM909 Looks like part of your comment got cut off, but I'll respond to what's there. It is difficult for nontrans (or cisgender) people to understand, but just like you know for certain that you're a girl, trans people know for certain that they are whatever gender they are. Most (not all) know from the time they're toddlers and it's very traumatic living in a body that doesn't match what they know their gender to be. It goes beyond clothes & interests...
thehpalliance 4 months ago
@HM909 ...which, you're right, are wonderfully being blended more now. But trans people don't have the right body, they aren't perceived by the world as the right gender. Just imagine if one day you woke up with male body parts and the whole world treated you like a man even though you know that you're a girl. So yes, the criteria for gender is a lot more ambiguous these days and a lot of it is created by society, but it goes a lot deeper than that for trans people...
thehpalliance 4 months ago
@HM909 Sorry if all of that still isn't clear. It's something that can take a long time of personal critical thinking and discussion to wrap your mind around, but thank you so much for being genuine about your confusion and curiosity! -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
I really think we should all just stop labelling people. Labels just breed inequality. Who cares if you're Latino, or Polish, or Bisexual? You're human. That's what matters. Nothing else.
Pottsylird 4 months ago 3
@Pottsylird I like to tell myself the same thing. I don't fit into labels very well. I think it's a great way of looking at oneself, but we live in a world that functions with labels. If the whole world decided to do away with labels and every human got equal rights and was treated the same, that would be awesome, but these labels have been put on us & they're keeping some people from having their full human rights so we've got to work with them at least for that reason. -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago 2
I'm considered a crossdresser by others but I am not.
I am just a crossplayer, a person who cosplays (costume play) as the opposite gender. Its a part of me, kinda like the guy ice skating to Village People. XD So I really liked you included that bit.
lonewarrior666 4 months ago
in the end it doesn't matter how someone feels, it matters if we treat them in a respectful way. In the netherlands we have a saying that goes like this: Wat U niet wil dat U geschiedt, doe dit ook een ander niet. It can be translated, as: What you don't want happening to you, don't do it to others. I think that is an excellent way of living because it makes you think about how you would want to be treated if you walked a mile in someone's shoes.
HellemonderWesje 4 months ago 2
I think that it would be great if you talked about the different pronouns. 'He' and 'she' are not all there is, but most people don't know that.
TheNewDayDawns 4 months ago
@TheNewDayDawns I definitely wanted to fit that in! Maybe in Trans 102... -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago 3
I don't get why we are focusing so hard on LGBTQ month if were straight. Im white, I don't go nuts when its black history month and I don't think my black friends want me too. Just let them do there thing I have a couple gay friends and I just let them do their thing, I think sometimes the best way to raise awareness about sexuality inequality is to just not even bring it up when you're hanging out with them.
jumanjihock 4 months ago
@jumanjihock LGBTQ History Month is a time to spread awareness about the issues and inequalities. We might have to agree to disagree, but I don't understand how LGBTQ people can ever feel supported if their friends and straight allies don't vocalize their support. I get where you're coming from of treating everyone the same and not focusing on their sexuality, but if there isn't an open discourse it might imply that it's taboo and not okay, which is especially harmful for young people.
thehpalliance 4 months ago 2
@jumanjihock Also, LGBTQ equality is something that the HPA actively fights for. We've done multiple campaigns to raise awareness about bullying and campaign for marriage equality. As an organization, we're using this month to spotlight one of our major focuses and educate members on issues that might not be as mainstream. -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
I only watch this channel if its your turn to do the vlog. You're awesome
jumanjihock 4 months ago
Being bisexual myself, I'd really really love if you covered the umbrella term that is "bisexual". Your videos are very interesting and I'd love to see more. :)
SnapshotOfASoul 4 months ago
You are freaking amazing. Somebody didn't FTBA!
dolphin64575 4 months ago 16
I kind of wish Pansexual was talked more about just because when anyone ever mentions Pan in my group of friends they think of the Greek God or Pan as in Peter.
weasleyrokchick75 4 months ago 3
@weasleyrokchick75 Same. Though... I kind of like the comparisons to Pan and Peter Pan... but I'm just strange. I feel like I'm hearing about it slightly more lately though that's probably just being on college campuses. So many different sexual orientations and gender identities to talk about... I want to make a video for all of them! -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
@thehpalliance Yeah some of my friends asked me if I was a lost boy and for some reason it made me smile because it was silly. This was after I tried to thoroughly explain it to them. I don't expect anyone at my school to know much though. I live in a small town in Missouri they tend to be naive and prejudice but they get better with time. I can't wait for college.
weasleyrokchick75 4 months ago
I like your shirt.
rainbowbubblesXD 4 months ago
@rainbowbubblesXD Go blue!
thehpalliance 4 months ago
I recently made friends with a couple of transgender people, initially (and still occasionally) I used incorrect pronouns when talking with them-which was really quite stressful! I felt like as though I was upsetting them (which was a worrying thought-as they were awesome, and that they were my friends) that I shouldn't talk with them if I can't get their pronouns right . But they said as long as I tried, and was open minded and accepted their identity that a few screw ups wouldn't matter!
FringeKid 4 months ago 2
Yes, quite, indeed. yes...
Well articulated :)
Praptolium 4 months ago
Love this video. I'm a genderqueer/genderfluid person who usually identifies as male. :) One thing you might want to also cover is bisexuality. I'm bisexual and people tend to think it means I MUST have more than one partner (today is my two year anniversary with my fiancé, who I'm completely monogamous with.) Many think this means I'm now "straight" (based of my birth sex) or "gay" (based on my gender identity) but I'm still bisexual, and always will be.
Nerdfighterlife 4 months ago 25
@Nerdfighterlife me 2 :)
hermione1135 4 months ago
And your personal channel is...?
asyouwish141 4 months ago
@asyouwish141 Just added it! -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
@thehpalliance Gracias.
asyouwish141 4 months ago
I don't really have anything of value to contribute with this comment other than this is my new favorite channel. :D
I like the way you discuss things.
BearsExploding 4 months ago
Also, why doesn't anyone ever mention asexuality?
I feel like it gets ignored and then some people don't know it exists.
VolunteerNerdfighter 4 months ago
@VolunteerNerdfighter So true. Whenever I mention it, people still think I'm talking about asexual reproduction in cells. *headdesk* There are lots of gender identities and sexual orientations that need more public/media presence so people can be informed and accept them. -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
@thehpalliance Maybe make a video about it? ;)
VolunteerNerdfighter 4 months ago
What specifically did Glee say that was inaccurate?
I'm sure they've been wrong often enough; I just don't remember it.
Good video. =]
VolunteerNerdfighter 4 months ago
@VolunteerNerdfighter Mostly in the Rocky Horror episode. They said "tranny" twice, but cut "transsexual" from the song "Sweet Transvestite." Aside from being offensive, it didn't make any logical sense. With language it's usually something the network controls, not the writers... and the fact that Fox has been named one of the most LGBT-friendly networks on TV just shows us how much work is left to do in the awareness department. Still, I'm a total Gleek. -Lauren
thehpalliance 4 months ago
@thehpalliance I remember that now, and you're absolutely right. Thanks!
VolunteerNerdfighter 4 months ago
Thanks so much for the concise summary and terminology. I've been looking for a better umbrella term than "transgender" for a while.
Also, hey, first comment! Never done that before! :)
ArentWeInAPickle 4 months ago