What should I do if my wife says she doesn't love me?

[Bcliff3027]

Tell her to make you a sandwich! ( Hate to say it ) Sounds like she needs a man.. not a squid. If you're begging for answers on here shes already gone! Chances are shes a dime a dozen and can get the same quality chick at a bar. Oh, by the way shes probably sleeping with your best friend.

[Vccine]

He says exactly what a true christian should do. Of course, thats utterly impossible for a nowday man

[shubsy8]

If GOD who has the power to force people to obey him does not , then tell me Mr Piper why should one force another to love them. Love just like obedience his by free choice. If there is no LOVE there is no relationship. ONe has to face reality that its over.

[The2012west]

@shubsy8 because obedience to God is more important than emotional satisfaction.

[itascagasman]

Just do like me, I'm gonna stay by her side till 1: She leaves or 2: I can't take anymore of this being unloved crap and do her and my kids a favor and off myself :)

[charger2538]

What a Fag

[JunkmanJim]

worst relationship advice...ever. There are so many things we don't know about the situation but one thing is for sure, don't waste your precious life on people that don't love you or at least figure out why it is happening and deal with, prayer won't change a thing.

[campbellsoup93]

Really bro? "Cry a lot" "don't leave her" and "pray"? That's your advice? That's a load of crap.

[XDemoniumX]

What's wrong with just breaking it off? Why stay?

[npotts89]

wow, this breaks my heart. I think Piper handles this well, and the first answer "cry a lot" is a pretty good answer lol.

[fitnessfortruth]

If she never loved him, why did she marry him? Maybe she wantet a stupid slave to work for her good life? In this case this poor man should get rid of her as soon as possible.

[PEB979]

THAT IS NOT ! CLICHES . WOW ! I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO COME OFF LIKE THIS , PASTOR /TEACHER you sound very angry, holding grudges possibly ? Is this video about you , you do seem to be ANGRY , that why shes not inlove with you . your scary

[BewaretheRobots]

@PEB979

You're the biggest idiot! That's obviously not about him, he's answering a

question.

[saigongentle]

when you read the part of " she just saying she doesnt want me". its just heart breaking. i dont know if you catch what im feeling now. but this is hurt so much

[PEB979]

IN MOST CASES FOR WOMEN THERE IS A REASON WHY SHE DOESN'T LOVE HER HUSBAND , BECAUSE OF HIM !

[Dadutta]

@PEB979 How stereotypical, insensitive and ignorant "always the husbands fault" pffft, wake up, PEB979, the world is more than cliches

[tempemonkey2323]

It doesnt matter if your wife doesnt love you.... You are married to Jesus and he looks great in a dress!!!!

Ha ha....

Its really sad to see grown adults gain "morals" and "understanding" from fairy tales.

[desasterz]

@tempemonkey2323 What the big bang? Yeah. It's sad.

[reformationness]

this is a perfect example for your marriage to glorify God! You are to serve as an allegorical Christ while she is the Church. Pursue her with love and grace in obedience to God and your covenant.

[Mojosbigstick]

As a child, I'd pray every day for my parents to separate. They didn't love each other, and that biterness and hate permeated our whole household. Sometimes it is not worth sticking it out for the sake of your marriage vows and children.

[T2Todd2]

@Mojosbigstick I totally agree. Most marriages today haven't been ordained from heaven but rather by lust or just ecstatic feelings, then later on they realize they not yoked in anyway especially spiritually. I believe satan mocks when as we choose to remain in bondage to a spouse ordained by satan's hands. God has someone but if a spouse chooses to remain unequally yoked then there nothing anyone can do. Let God step in.

[T2Todd2]

@troyfergus1981 how are all marriages ordained by God? If a Christian married a satanist in lust and then found out that person was a satanist, do you think that it was ordained by God's hands? Are homosexual marriages ordained by God? No.I'm not saying that we should judge if a marriage is God ordained by it's results but i am saying that bible provides good biblical reason as to what is and isn't in light of being equally or unequally yoked. It clearly says light and dark don't mix. 2 Cor 6:14

[T2Todd2]

@troyfergus1981 Also take into account that King Solomon lost deprarted from the living God and by his mercy came back at the end, all because he yoked himself with pagan wives. And also take into account that Jeremiah pulled men's beards out and slapped them in the face by God's order for being yoked to strange women and told them to leave their wives. As I said, I'm not justifying the foolish reasons why most divorce but the bible does shed light on why some don't work. Light and dark.

[T2Todd2]

I totally disagree with this answer. NO, NO, NO. That is bondage. You are in an unequally yoked marriage and you need to get out so that YAHUSHUA (JESUS) can start healing your heart. Soulmates ordained from heaven are spiritually yoked in all ways and you would have the same passion for each other and a greater passion for YAHUSHUA. Please send me a pm for those in unequally yoked marriages.

[hondacr60r]

@T2Todd2 my wife of 7 years says she doesnt have that feeling anymore but still loves me wtf!!!! so now we are breaking up. lots of history with us but all the bad stuffs done with and the good was just started to take shape and she squashes it all. we have a 3 year old son. i still love her and am not into having kids and giving up ive got alot of myself invested here. help

[hisboo911]

woman does not have to emotionally love a man according to God's word. She should, however, treat him with love (charity) and respect him. It is he that should love his wife.

[tempemonkey2323]

Religion is the art of believing lies.......

[ItsSolaFide]

@tempemonkey2323

Atheism is the art of making up lies to believe in daily...

[couar351]

pack your bags and run like a mutha before she changes her mind.............

[7YHWH7]

@couar351 lololol

[TheChromeStallion]

Good advice but this is not for everyone. When a women says to the husband that she does not love him anymore, there is nothing that can be done. Only God can do something about it. The more the husband stalk her & tells her he loves her, & tries to fix it; the more the woman will recent him. The best thing is to walkaway & give her the space & freedom she wants. In some rare cases she will live alone, maybe try again w another man & then figure out that she still loves the husband & comes back.

[TheChromeStallion]

But in almost all cases when a woman says "I don't love you anymore" it means exactly that & is almost impossible to repair it cause when she says that it's too late to do something about it. Many times women will cry in silence & suffer where you can't see them(which is wrong)& over time this kill her love for the husband & when she finally tell you, is been so long that is too late to apologize & do something.

Just take care of your kids, move on & take your time to heal the pain, it will.

[tritonrocks]

Apply the "3 strikes" rule. Give her three genuine chances to mend the relationship. Give it your all for all 3 chances. If there is no progress after three thorough attempts, it's time to move on. Sadly, some women have what I call a "happiness plug" in the back of their head. If it pops out all of the happy juice flows out and can never be put back in. You need to get away from women like that. They cannot be helped, no matter how hard you try.

Good luck!

[lukedee12]

@tritonrocks .... terrible advice haha

[tritonrocks]

I am happily married for 27 years. I am a lucky guy - my wife looks as good today as she did the day we got married - still a size 6, still a great woman's shape. We also love each other a lot. SHE is the one who told me about the happiness plug. She is correct. Some women are NEVER happy. NEVER. It is probably some chemical imbalance in the brain, but who knows? Some people just can't be helped. Sorry.

[7YHWH7]

@tritonrocks dude i married one and now she wants to divorce me after 9 years together and 2 separated(in which time we had another child making it 6 kids)..everything was a reason not to live and enjoy the moment until i became the reason why her life was so bad..i wish i could chat to your wife cause she is one switched on lady..and internet sites on this?

[tritonrocks]

My wife does not "chat". Neither do I (I post an occasional message on YouTube; that's about it). If a married woman has to chat, then she might as well be divorced. My wife and I don't need it - we're happy. And no, she won't chat with you. I think you have issues as well, based on what you wrote. So, you want to jump from one failed relationship and immediately get involved with another (chatting with my wife)? No dice...

[7YHWH7]

@tritonrocks whoa relax man..i was just saying it would be good to get some insight from a knowleagable female so i could deal with my own situation better lol

[7YHWH7]

@tritonrocks just generally speaking you know?! i wouldn't want to do that to anyone..i like john piper because he stands for that which i do..no divorce!!

[tritonrocks]

@7yhwh7 John Piper seems like a great guy. I'm not questioning that. What I am questioning is his advice. If you have a spouse that clearly has no interest in you, and it's obvious it will never repair itself, why should one live in misery? Sadly, there are some marriages that cannot be repaired, no matter how hard you try. In those instances it is better for everyone involved - the spouses, their kids, and even the community - if they end their marriage and move on.

[7YHWH7]

@tritonrocks hmmm i can see your perspective but for me to have that one would be to give up beleiving God had a lifelong purpose in store for my wife and i( and other believers) despite our current state of disunion..i will have faith and continue to believe that with God all things are possible and stay loyal to my vows, her and of course my Father (the most important being in our marriage covenant)..nothing happens overnight and stories such as that of Joseph can help in this fastfood genertn

[ItsSolaFide]

@tritonrocks

That isnt what Jesus said. Jesus said love your wife like God loves his church. Let me ask you something, have you ever sinned? Because if you have than that is telling God "You are not enough for me, I need this, I love this sin more than you, I will run my life, I do not care about your purposes." That is the truth, that is scripture. The advice that Piper gives here is spot on...If she commits adultery 1000 times love her still and forgive her. Read Hosea.

[blabblab1212]

Good advice I guess, but the "affected christian delivery" of the material is annoying as hell. Oops! Sorry, Heck!

[hantla]

Some excellent pastoral advice. Thank you for modeling pastoral care coupled with Biblical advise for us, John.

[HomesteadProvocateur]

"cry a lot".. That will solve the problem, it sure won't have her running away.. If she doesn't like you in the first place, what makes you think crying about it is going to change the fact. That is a hard situation for a person to be in I'm sure. Love is fleeting, there has to be something more substantial there in the first place. If one marries for love, they are asking for divorce. It is a matter of economics, always has been. Even Mary was in an arranged marriage to Joseph.

[HomesteadProvocateur]

It makes perfect sense. Only fairly recently in human history have we had the luxury of choosing our mates, or marrying for "love". For the most part, that decision has been an economical one and people were bound by their vows to marry even if they didn't like each other. Also, women now have financial freedom and so, the incentive to stay in a bad relationship has lost it's audience. Love runs out, attraction ends, but something more than that can keep people together. Maybe God? :)

[HomesteadProvocateur]

Hmm, wonders how to respond. "Anti- Christian"? There are a lot of things in the bible that "sound" anti-christian, like Polygamy of Abraham and Sarah and her Egyptian maid servant who bore him Ishmael. There are also many things that don't make "sense" but to discount them on that basis, well, seems inadequate to me.

Keeping the covenant of marriage? From a Christian perspective? What exactly is that perspective? How do we keep covenants and to whom are they made? To one another and God?

[Angrysean8]

Pointing out the imperfections of people from the bible? Is there any worthy other than Jesus? No not one. It is sort of the point to the whole book. It's as meaningless to point out the imperfections of christians. We should already know...

[HomesteadProvocateur]

I agree.. I only pointed those things out in scripture to illustrate a point. You are right it is the point of the book, we fail and fail again when left to our own devices. It isn't us who can do anything akin to righteous, it is Jesus who resides within us, the only capable one here. It is just a matter of letting that happen. Of course, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak, (sigh) this is life..

[Angrysean8]

so very true, well put HP.

[therealdrag0]

wow.

[Nechobank]

powerful... thanks mr. piper