Dane cook - Date at the movies.

[TheSugarReaper]

SHUSHOLA!!! xD the thing is that person is usually me.

[Tkdfreak1]

thank you for making me paranoid for captain Dildo in the movies....

[Maarion1294]

OMFG!!! this is hilarious!!!

[hellomynameisawsome2]

131 people just came

[jchojar]

But they're not gonna give you a box. What they give you is not legally a box. A box is rigid, and has weight distribution. This thing that he unfolds...

[GreenStreetElite345]

uhm its God, not god, this description is spelled incorrectly

[PrincessJay29]

1@GreenStreetElite345 Exactly! 

[ILookToTheMoon]

@GreenStreetElite345 Its spelled wrong if you're catholic.

[TheMistya12]

@GreenStreetElite345 um.... well we can all tell whos an english teacher here...

[beaverfever12345]

Anyone else notice theres a .5 second lag in the audio?

[kaybubbles423031]

I JUST CAME!!!

[llMiCKll]

this fuckin sucks

[Hoohihaa]

@llMiCKll You sir, don't have a funnybone

[giluis123]

@llMiCKll well you fucking suck



[SMutum]

"JUST THE CHEESE!"

[SMutum]

2.08 is perfect! Loving the "gummy fish, chocolate coins and the bamboo cup"

[chicka123756]

"shushhh, shuushhola"

"fuck your mother"

[TheGingi7]

"twistin around that hole" thats what she said

[OMERTA011]

8:13 - 8:30 classic.

[nixter911]

i love dane cook, everything he does is so true

[wachachagirl]

not legally a box xD

[xTechnoDJx]

im carrying a diaper of goodies....

[theboss684684]

weres the van? the van was supposed to be here!

[MrBugeyes1]

@theboss684684 dude where's my van

[edwardrxs]

not today captin dildo !!

[blackhatrampage]

my chanse to do the sticky floor was ruined because it was a little girl with her family T.T

[fezandbowtie]

@mekeya ikr i was like *closing my eyes* i can see it :D

[fail4life1000]

126 people got captain dildo up there ass ;)

[Vicc125]

"Fuck, and the person behind you's like, 'I just came'

[XNaminexRoxasXKH2]

Oh god,

I LOVE DANE COOK.

He's so FUNNY.



[shadowpuppy270343]

shhhhalalalalashush.

XD 

[rickyanddor]

Not today captain dildo!!

LOL...

[25cops25]

I swear this guy makes me shit my pants everytime i watch him....

[uberjaws]

he sounds like TOBUSCUS! in a way

[dreamcatcher131]

@uberjaws I was just thinking that.

[madworldfan123]

thumbs up if u did the i just came joke b4?

[NitrateDream]

I can't believe it's me... Watching this sketch after all these years.

[xWagnerPlaguesx]

you can blow me if the movie is bad XD

[xXStaySeventeenXx]

SHUSHOLA

[SargeRabies]

"I just came"

[JessiMarie1010]

SHALALALALALUSH!

FUCK YOUR MOTHER.

[dylanr221]

oh its a blasty blast, u gotta try it

[Mojotoaster1]

Crazy as Hell

[thisisme2234]

scared and alone.....

[MayzeSigSzalay]

I love his gesticulations

[emrace1114]

dont go out with her if ur just gonna yell at her...wth?

[emrace1114]

blow me if the movies bad? whats he insinuating?

[stingray716]

BEST FUNNY THING EVER favortie parts 1=I just came lol 2=I want something I want something 3=what do they have? lol really out of all people who would ask that? they got a fuckin main lobster what do u think they have they had the same bullshit sence 55 lol popcorn and sodaey pop lets go 4=captain dildo 5=the order just the fuckin cheese please lol 6=the box this thing that he fuckin unfolds a diper lol of course I want a fuckin box no lol I would like to 5 trips back and forth

[stingray716]

like am a chew chew train lol 7=back at the movie a fuckin cave sene lol this guy won't sit I have cock eye and all see is u and your flimsy box 8=make sound effects and shit your like reubaba car nose 8=farovite part the shush its like they went to shush school shhhhhhhhuoula u snap fuck your mother fuck your mother he just told me to shush fuck your mother fuck your mother TAKE THE ICS LOL 9=the previews and thats it thanks for sharing.

[emrace1114]

@stingray716 its 9 trips

[McAleeks]

This is a copy from a mexican comedian Adal ramones

[JHollaaaa]

I'm glad someone's finally said it

[slimybakertv]

What was the title of this dvd?

[baconimos123]

6:50 your welcome.

[Tirisfalen302033]

@baconimos123 you're

[ki3868]

123 people just dont like movie dates cuz the floors are sticky...

[jeremydkirby]

6:48 FUCK YOUR MOTHER...FUCK YOUR MOTHA.

[MACINTOSH4444]

he was watching Transformers 3 haha

[MangoMonsters360]

Every ending has like a major Epic win! :D

[dizzylilangel]

Dane Cook makes my panties wet :-)~~

[emrace1114]

@dizzylilangel ewww?

[BansheeMaster96]

SHALALALALUSH



[lukelukemartin]

122 people felt the dildo.

[96wwefan]

i just came...

[MrShenhai]

I want to see that van movie he just made a preview about.

[startingmia]

genius story-teller. 

[flygonpikachu101]

Big fat fatty. XD

[Star22Nano]

What album is this from?

[Allamerican22197]

I JUST CAME!

[tomo5117]

thumbs up if u can relate to this guy

[biggiedickson]

@tomo5117 You're asking for thumbs up on youtube while watching Dane Cook. You really can't scrape much further...

[mekeya09]

that was the best preview impersonation ever

[AlllexL]

120 people have their asses acquainted with Captain Dildo

[Eyohannes93]

120 people are carrying a diaper of goodies.

[betterfly97]

@jaclynmo11

If you don't understand what "came" means in that context, you're too young to be watching Dane Cook.

[MultiJokesMan]

@betterfly97 yell i just came randomly in church........

[Skoal36]

@betterfly97 not every one is a perv just saying....dont judge:)

[SuperChamona]

@betterfly97 how old would you say a person should be before they watch dane cook? lol

[jaclynmo11]

Remember the part where he said the person behind him said the floor was sticky, and then he is like" i just came." i dont get that part could someone tell me

[herkiss2]

@jaclynmo11 I'm just going to say it came=cum.So he's saying that he had just cummed. That's your answer happy?

[Yceb0x]

@jaclynmo11 Well, he masturbated. Don't you love it when someone just gives you the frickin' answer and doesn't act like a 10 year old about it "ha ur 2 yung too watch this ur must b a virgin", geez that's why these people are on YouTube, it's because they can finally say what people have been saying to them their entire lives, but this time no one can see how pathetic they really are. Ah the fun of life.

[TissueHimeChan]

Diaper of goodies.

[Minisniper555]

That mic must be full of spittt

[randomchiick1]

SHUUUSSSHHLALALALALA.

lmmmfffaaaooo i nearly peed my pants from laughing so hard

[MsNarutofan411]

what movie does he do i want 2 watch on youtube

[WizardofSwag]

@MsNarutofan411

he's in employee of the month

[WarriorAngel14]

I love his sound effects

[WarriorAngel14]

YOU!

ME!

US!

[TheLoneboy77]

this guy is a genious

[slvyiablack]

And the person behind you is like "I just came" XD

[swededude14]

THIS GUY WON'T STHIT!



[H0YII]

Funniest fucking guy xD



[Pwnyoazz]

shush asla shushie ma shushness

[lilmizzkindra]

Juss't the Cheeths , Juss't the Cheeths <3 Aahaha 

[PhantomPrincess9936]

I just came.

[FallenStar194]

"you know what fuck yo motha!! fuck you're motha!!"

[lmfao228]

I just came thumbs up

[simplefury]

SHHHHFUS ROH DA!

[ImMunchin]

Sholololololush!

[fighterboy44J4L]

its a cup holder, or u can blow me if the movie sux ;)



[LuvMeLoveMeMore]

the finger...tells the story

[bringtheTHUNDER99]

shlulululush

[ciap4u2nv3]

Great now when I'm at the movies I'm gonna think about getting a dildo up the ass, thanks Dane.

[ShogunWarrior13]

FUCK YOUR MUTHA.

[CloneComander1138]

WHERES THE VAN? THE VAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HEARD!

[MsCmatthews52]

I'm thinking i want some treats

[Crazygirl4001]

I did this this my friend xD "I just came....." Guy reaction was...........AWESOME He was look " OoO"

The funny part is I'm a girl xD

[ProStockSnipes]

5:50 haha epic

[kimmykyms]

LMFAOOOOOOOOO FUNNIEST PERSON EVER!!!!

[XvImaUnicornvX]

@squaresquirrel2201 Came=cum=jizz=sticky. I get it because one of my friend gave her boyfriend a handjob during a lame horror movie, I'll never trust the movies ever again =_=

[RexPetrov]

does he slightly remind anyone else of toby turner?

[SunsetSweetie09]

a dildo is what they you for sex i heard(but only gay's have em)

[LeuCoctrol]

@SunsetSweetie09 Girls can use it toy.

[squaresquirrel2201]

Waiit what does the i jjust came joke mean?

[shyomi91]

@squaresquirrel2201 look it up on wiki

[ericawearsprada]

@squaresquirrel2201 if you don't know, you're probably too young to be watching this.

[TheRealMonopolyMan]

I would so watch Dane's movie 7:48

[TheRealMonopolyMan]

I would so watch the first movie that he talked about with the previews.

[Beatleslover231]

He sounds like cookie monster when he says "I want something delicious" haha

[xXToxicHedgeHogXx]

I just came

[Mufnluvr]

I'm choking on my apple cause I'm laughing so hard while I watch this.

[AmandaBulmer]

not today captain dildo!!!

[aerosmithjams43]

i want some... i want something diliciouse!

okay,,, dont do that were in public

[Causeiloveeyouu143]

I love his videos, and his one made me just laugh out loud!!!!! lmaaoo!!

[tyleraddisonhavens]

Dane should make a movie of all his skits where its just him flashing back to these moments

LMFAO

[dragonairlover]

i love how i dont even have to watch the video, cuz EVERY SINGLE COMMENT is a quote from it. im pretty sure they have the entire thing written in the comments now.

[95briannanicole]

"where's the van?! The van was supposed to be here!" haha

[KathyWalsh2]

'..someone pulls out a giant dildo and shoves it up your ass!' bahah best bit!

[Its12345Productions]

not today cap'n dildo

[hellsingrules1]

they've had the same bullshit since 55

[missmex]

I thought of Pink Floyd when he said "Dark side of the Moon" lmao!

[Flex0004]

WHERES THE VAN!? THE VAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!!

[finwisher]

just the cheese

[PepsiGirlz4]

I have that thing when I make my eyes realli big to seein the dark ... never works xD

[MrTROLOLOLOLOL69]

240p....we meet again.

[JessicaluvsUfc]

The person in that first seat right next to you is always just starring up at you really pissed off to. "This guy won't sit!" "Would you please sit, I have a cock eye, and all I see is you and your flimsy box." "He will not sit!"

Oi I love this part!!

[almakarina13]

not today.. not today... not today captain dildo!! every time i go to the movies i think of this part!! haha

[Pebiil]

OH my god, LMAO! I love how he just pulls everything together.

[EMUtoot17]

112 people will not sit.

[winstoncitranagara]

05:36 its even worse when its a horror movie and u just pray that the ghost wont pop out during our way to the seats

[MattronMovies]

It's funnier because it's delayed!

[kidcold100]

SHHHHUlolololololololololololo­lololol

[barrelracer17]

You know the cheese? Just the... fuckin' cheese...please.

[chelseafaye1]

got to 6:28 

[AngllWingz08]

We get to be Movie Critics!! WOOT.

Gotta love Dane Cook<3

[MultiTilburg013]

,move more foking american spaz

[jennyh12251]

Lmfao. The way he acts like he's taking a drink.

[MsCmatthews52]

i flipped a tit someone actually went "the floors are sticky" i was like "i just came" best day ever.

[MrSpartanfanatic1]

You would please sit! I have a cockeye and all I can see is you and your flimsy box!!

[CATxINxTHExHATx6]

all of this is so true

[Jatsuyo]

I heard the "I just came" joke three years ago. I didn't get it. Then I went through puberty. Makes perfect sense now...

[LeuCoctrol]

@Jatsuyo Lol

[crazyjackie62]

@Jatsuyo lol xD

[7XxshadowxX7]

@Jatsuyo rly? cuz i still dont get it :/

[Jatsuyo]

@7XxshadowxX7 google cum. just make sure no one else is in the room...

[kerron68]

@Jatsuyo you're due for one in another year then..

[FullMetalSatomi]

@Jatsuyo Same thing here, honestly... >.> Lmfao. But I laughed in front of my friends like I got it anyway. XD

[cyndijo1977]

@Jatsuyo That has GOT to be the funniest comment I have ever read! LMAO!!

[TheDirje]

8:44 Cameron Diaz hahahahahaha

[dumburd]

this guy won't sit would you please sit I have a cock eye and all I see is you and you're flimsy box. LMAOO I love this!

[DrewGstrang]

"you big fat fatty"

[pandamoo0804]

6:39 to 7:01 lol

[Mocasta]

im gonna do that joke! "i just came"

[Jerrynator1026]

i did that i just came thing and the manager laughed

[yiengerbombs61]

im thinking i want some treats

[Th3f1nAlK1llZ0nE]

Are you sure you dont want anything else tou big fat fatty hahaha lol. Dane cook is a genius