August 14th: The Blenderized Happy Meal (and Leg Waxing)

[annakjellin]

after reading TFIOS this feels like revenge after what you did to our hearts. SWEET, SWEET REVENGE

[hersirensong]

And imagine... women do that at least once a month!

[nerdfighteria]

STORY

[thewhinykid]

My seventh grade math teacher was doing a demonstration of fractions and so she blended some McDonald's cheeseburgers and strawberry milkshake and let us try it. It was oddly delicious. This just made me think of that.

[artyfarty1996]

I'm doing the blenderized happy meal tomorrow. Wish me luck.

[MizzJalen]

ah I miss the orange drink it's not in Canada anymore 

[AChristineG]

Uh huh, what was that about waxing your legs not being that bad?! YEAH JOHN

[CrazyDaisyFall]

Dear John, I want your kitchen.... so bad. Its amazing.

[Alicechange]

Oh happy meals, I for one always chose the boy toys for one reason: they were Pokemon, and we all know Pokemon are better then Barbies.

[Kmealey1]

i will never eat a happy meal again

[ceecee069]

what toy came with the meal?

[MrSpazzyunicorn]

@ceecee069 the dog he was talking to at 3:09

[PollyBreedDumb]

The yeti definitely didn't kiss him after that.

[vidkid42]

ewwwwwww

[cdfitz100]

The Yeti SPEAKS!!!

[DTE887]

I want Henry to see this when he is older, because his dad his freaking awesome and really funny.

[DTE887]

@DTE887 *his dad is

[schloopfoop]

... I kind of don't believe that was that disgusting. Not sure if I want to prove it wrong, though.

[cupcakes1348]

and the yeti just holds the camera and laughs at him.

[keshia1604]

oh my that is torture lol

[PetitCarmen]

oj john, some woman do that every 4 weeks;) the waxing that is, not the blending a happy meal

[Ignelux]

No, John, you always get the boys' meal! They get cooler toys!

[NerdByDesign]

@Ignelux When I was little and didn't know that McDonalds food was both unhealthy and probably grown in a test tube, whenever I got a Happy Meal, I would always ask for the boys toy, they were always cooler than the my little ponies. You are awesome! DFTBA!

[schloopfoop]

@NerdByDesign Oh, how things have changed.

The my little ponies are so much cooler now. 20% cooler, in fact.

[HoshiHikari]

Ooh! I came here after a Tumblr post of someone's favorite vlogbrothers videos and this looks familiar. I subbed some time around August '07, presumably! =) Ahh...memories.

[elleninthesky]

oh GOD this whole thing was just painful to watch yet I am sure my laughter could be heard from the heavens and beyond

[NinjaWieldingLimes]

I love how angry he looks every time he rips the waxing strip off his leg.

[Jacobeodom]

Vlogbros. like Joco :D

[esgeht10]

as terrible as this sounds this video never fails to make me laugh

[DotDotDotDotDot]

I think they must have a really powerful blender.

[alremul]

So i was (re)watching the Essential Vlogbrothers videos playlist and i had to pause when i got to here and finish my breakfast before i could watch this video.

[360army]

whoooo! jonathan coulton!!!

[360army]

why did he say girl?

[wrockinmaddie]

"Hi, I'm John Green. I've won awards for novels I have written, and I have eaten a blenderized happy meal."

[TheTheotherlisa]

Dear John, I have to say that a small, spiteful part of me is kind of happy that you had to do this because you said "women wouldn't do this if it hurt so bad..." Well, think again... The beauty industry really makes us do horribly painful stuff to ourselves.

[Vgirl0829]

Just for future reference in case John needs to wax something ever again. I think it hurts him that much because of how he pulls he strip off. You aren't supposed to pull it up like all at once, but more roll it off. I hope that makes sense.

[BeatrixNemesis]

Dad: What are you doing?

Me: Watching my idol eat disgusting things for fun.

Dad:

Me:

Dad:

Me:

Dad:

Me: What?

[Jemilando1]

I used to tell my dad to get the boy happy meals because I thought the toys were cooler. Especially when they were spy related. Why can't girls have that too? :P

[pbjellybeanful]

@Jemilando1 I know! I loved the spy things and they had transformer toys! Girls had polly pockets.

[chexmixultimate]

Am I the only one who was really impressed by his blender? It's like, industrial strength!

Also, that The Yeti laughs at John's pain every single time he is punished.

[GotNuthinOnMeh]

I don't think you'd be nearly as grossed out if you didn't know what you were eating, y'know?

[InkFlavourJelly]

Why, why the orange drink? XD

[TheCONNORCO]

3:16 You sound like Robin from the old Batman show! :D

[bekahbooks]

My New Year's resolution this year was to give up fast food completely. This video makes me realize that I'm not missing much.

[egirleagle]

For a youth thing, we had to drink a happy meal... i was the only one who didn't puke. Well, you couldn't really tell who was puking and who was spitting it out....(shudders)

[TheClampFan]

If you hold your nose when eating something gross it helps "tone down" the flavor :)

[LoyalFreak4ever]

For a church thing I drank Dorthy Linch ranch dressing, mustard sardines, spagetti-o's, cottage chesse, and guacamole! I feel your pain! When I saw this video I had a smell-flashback and almost vomited! Thanks alot John!

[jillybean190]

death cab!

[hereverydayadventure]

when i did this it was SUCH a different texture!

[hereverydayadventure]

baby pinches hurt. they don't know how to let go.

[twilightbop]

i felt like i was gonna puke

[hinatahyuuga120]

i felt bad for him mabey it be better if it was chiken nuggets

[Superfuis]

I think his voice went up a octave when he said "That was not a five" xD I love these guys

[HeadInTheClouds1178]

I kind of felt bad for eating a chocolate chip cookie while the past version of you suffered so much.

[NibbledbyDucks]

John I believe that I own the same pillow as you.

[Kaythanksbye]

I love how much The Yeti laughs at John's pain. Marriage: You're doing it right.

[YoruuXD]

I think 'That is not a 5' should be added to the Nerdfighting dictionary. 'Not a 5 - when something is way, way worse than expected. "'How was your first day at school?' 'It was not a 5...'"

[pbjellybeanful]

@YoruuXD I agree! let's do it! :D

[CorrundumAndSilver]

@YoruuXD we have a dictionary somewhere? :D

[thestickynoteaddict]

I've been watching all the vlogbrothers videos since the very first one...

this is my (2nd) favorite.

I think goth Hank is #1

[ARusso64]

This was the inspiration for EpicMealTime

[Suzidoodle]

John, in your last video (BEARS!!) I told you that I am romantically involved with a man who thinks he is a bear. Now I must inform you that not only does my boyfriend think he is a bear, he is also an overgrown child. Yes, that's right. He is an overgrown bear cub. And as a reward for not killing any of the idiots he works with, I came up with Happy Meal Tuesday. My 35-year-old professional boyfriend has a desk drawer full of Happy Meal toys...for a boy. :-)

[kayhewi1]

august 14th is my birthday!!!

[jmaster1324]

1:42 is that the yeti's laugh

[baseballboy0101]

Will it blend?

[poben123]

Is this a MacDonalds happy meal in the form of baby food? Cos that's like... Child abuse...

[Space55Invader]

We've had gender specific happy meals since I was a young child, and still ate at McDonalds. I know this specificalle because, when I was exactly eight years old, I went to a birthday party where McDonalds was served. The boys' gifts were some extremely fantastic small BMX bikes which could be operated with one hand, allowing for astounding bike tricks. I, as a female, instead got the girl's gift. It was a barbie. Needless to say, I was not impressed. That is all.

[66beks77]

No Tomato Ketchup?

[AlphaNerd3]

"Oh boy!"

That's an unusual reaction.

[mpiikge]

since when could you get a burger in a happy meal!!!

[relishjam]

I would have gone with the chicken nuggets.

[SierRawrMarie]

Ironic I watched this video after watching Supersize Me in PE the other day..

[PirateFrodoCullen]

"If it hurt they wouldn't do it" EHHHH???? ;D

[rosiecouture1]

As an employee of McDonalds (poor student here) I'm constant;y frustrated by a) being told to ask people which toy they prefer based on their child's gender b) having parents complain about how their girl received a 'toy for boys' to which I reply..."Oh, they're unisex" but to which I want to reply with a feminist rant.

[dannerzme]

haha! the Yeti just laughs, lol!

[Schrammx]

Is The Yeti talking?!

[xfrenchthellama]

I already had so much respect for this man but after this... damn. That's devotion.

[Fireheart228]

I, for one, would feel very honored if John called and asked if I would lend him my cat to lick.

[LKBM]

I like how John doesn't just pour it into the cup...he waits for it to all drip out. Get every last drop.

[plantlife1212]

he was tryin so hard not to swear and gd on him

[CharmedSlayerr]

How many weight watchers points is a blenderized Happy Meal?

[greenspot13]

The best part is the Yeti laughing.

[JustCallMe253]

"There's nothing that I'd rather eat,

Than foods that perfectly blend.

God, I love smoothies made of meat,

On Nerdfighteria Island!"

...This is where that stanza came from, isn't it?

[Balla9195]

THAT IS NOT A FIVE!!!!!

I nearly died laughing :)))

[CaitysRAWR]

i just did this for my friends birthday... yes im insane... yes i did film it... yes its going to be on youtube

[B4K4xNi]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who hesitates when I hear the "Boy or Girl?" thing.

[charlieissomine]

Why didn't you just pinch your nose?

[Money101Hogs]

@charlieissomine ARGH IT DOESN'T WORK you can still have the scent/taste go into you and you can't help but gag

[yoseriahippie]

but will it blend???

[Naraic7]

horrible. i wanted to throw up just watching this!!!

[TheBigbear091]

I was slightly confused when Jonathan Coulton started playing.

[THEBandNerdfighter]

Did you actually puke?

[MrTedward19]

he has a really nice house

[MissILoveBooks]

Ew i feel so sorry for you.

[DownHomeWithMyrtle]

@CocoaBean2990 omg im with ya there

[randomlyfresh23]

You shouldve got Sprite!

[papercutoutgirl]

I am pretty sure these punishments are what caused John's gallbladder to not work properly. Now I feel so guilty...

[Jemima1377]

@papercutoutgirl: Hm, but he did eat McDonalds food before, didn't he? For his tastebuds it was certainly a bad experience, but for his gallbladder it didn't matter wheater his food was eaten in a blended form, all things mixed together, or bit by bit.

It was gross (and I feel bad for him having to eat that stuff), but not more unhealthy than regular fast food... ^_^

[TinyKitty24]

I first thought the blended happy meal wouldn't be too bad...until you mentioned the pickles...which probably meant it had all or most of the condiments on it...ew ew ew. >_<

[Honeybear1028]

add the toy and the box and the receipt then it would be horrible

[webmaster8040]

is there a horcrux at the bottom of that terrible potion?

[TheMushroomMovie]

What song is that?

[SasukeisAwesome]

Oh, God, I'm cringing every five seconds...

[wyattp1397]

The majority of faces in this video were RAAAAGE faces.

[123456789robbie]

i don't think this would be really awful if he didnt add the drink

[deathmelon6789]

Best cooking videos on youtube? EpicMealTime? NO! Cooking With John!

[a0coocoobrain0o0o0o]

WHAT ABOUT THE TOY!!!!!!!!!!

[YoshiLebrax]

Did he use tape to wax? xD

[yayme524]

IT DOES BLEND! xD

[SSdetectiveagency]

...wow! you are truly inspiring! eating a blenderized happy meal AND waxing your leg without cursing LIKE A BOSS!!!! DFTBA John we love you :)

[BKupchuck57]

@SSdetectiveagency i've eaten blenderized happy meal before

[SSdetectiveagency]

@BKupchuck57 was it bad?

[BKupchuck57]

@SSdetectiveagency no offense meant but it was pretty tasty

[SSdetectiveagency]

@BKupchuck57 lol how would that be offensive? I'm genuinely curious about this sorta thing because I never tried it before but John seriously looked like he was in pain

[BKupchuck57]

@SSdetectiveagency in all truth it was a burger king whopper jr with a large coke and large fries but i'm sure it tasted very similar. i eat at burger king, and i usually get exactly what they put in the "milkshake" so i'm used to the mix of flavors. i found it tasty but the rest of the people who drank it did look like they were in pain, and one girl threw up afterwards.

when i say "the rest of the people" i mean the other people chosen to participate in the contest my youth group was holding.

[FlargTheKitty]

@SSdetectiveagency he edited this....so he might have cursed ;)

[obitoxitachi]

okay, i haven't seen june/july of 2007, or much of 2009, 2010 and only bits and pieces of 2011. so i'm starting a project to watch all the videos from the day they were posted starting now until forever.

i was sad to find that there is only one video for today, especially as the 14th of august is my birthday.

but this is pretty much my favorite one, so it completely makes up for it.

i love you john.~

[rachelgoesRAWR]

@obitoxitachi August 14 is my birthday too! Too bad this video is something that makes you wanna gag too... XD haha.

[McGlitched]

WHOOOOOOOOOOOAAA BOY! hahaha

[dancesxinxrainx0]

Can we start calling John "Smoothlegs Green"?

[xchinasorrowsx]

Now that you have a baby how bad does it hurt when he pinches you?

[sheadatear]

Did John ever lick the cat?

[AaronTheStrange]

@sheadatear August 16th B2.0. Finding--and Licking--a Cat.

[ourpotterpage]

I think The Yeti delights in your punishment XD

[crazycookie76]

mc donalds is gross anyway.

[bassgirl34]

Thank you, John, for almost making me throw up.

[flyingcamote]

"OH BOY!!!! djughh...wow! that was NOT a five. that is NOT a five!!"

im pretty sure henry will one day look at this video and just replay that part.

[flyingcamote]

@flyingcamote and the fact that the yeti laughs makes it hilarious

[Quintinia]

Thumbs up for Jonathan Coulton!

[AnoukvdS]

I feel sick...

[HannaChicka24]

i love how high is voice goes. 'oh BOY!'

[FrostytheShanker]

The reason why they asked him if it was for a boy or a girl was because they cum in the girls happy meals. Oh and that looks like sellotapenot waxing paper.

[jordanXnarutoXjenna]

How many times did you have to refill that orange drink? ._.

[TheNextSimonC]

I did this before, for a dare, and it was one of the worst tastes I have ever tasted. But I used chocolate milk instead of an orange drink. It also didn’t help that the bread in my hamburger was stale.

[MsKaylabella]

I feel like this has become my favorite Vlogbrothers video ever made!

[DerflaRed159]

Truthfully I might eat one of those. Without the orange drink though.

[Makeawishbecometrue]

I really want a burger now... and i hate mcdonalds and burger king

[Tartarugamaus]

I already liked the video because of the punishment, but it just went up to awesome as you said " welcome to cooking with John Green". :)

[Arcadiax91]

the yeti´s giggles made this even more funnier! :)

[mskillzeee]

I tried eating a blenderized happy meal. Yeah, no I admire you, John.

[randobanana]

yhe entire time hes making this, im actually thinking this looks good. Then i saw his face

[FantasticBlueGirl]

John! You ate a blenderized happy meal and suffered through a leg waxing on my brithday! This is the best gift ever!

[robinheil]

OH BOY

[92ESPN]

I wonder if a blended happy meal actually tastes as bad as you experience it or if it's mostly placebo. If you take a bite of fries, a bite of hamburger and some soda in your mouth and chew it ome houndred times, it's not going to be particularly nice, but it won't make you puke

[floobeflabba]

how did he manage to wax himself????

[alexis474542]

Oh god john! I feel so bad for you right now! The waxing cant have been better than a blenderised happy meal, although both are not too apetizing.

[19sasukelover]

Jonathan Coulton!

[Ibadalu]

Can we get "all the best parts of food plus all the best parts of liquid" on a shirt...?

[shhs2012saudy4u]

THAT WAS NOT A FIVE

THAT.IS.NOT.A.FIVE

[slash1dot1dash]

are you kidding me? babies can pinch hard!!! :P especially if they dig in their nails

[Beeeeeeeish]

"I can see a little bit of pickle."

:D!

[Miacanvlogtoo]

lol he shouls try epilating xD

[MissStarkid222]

Dont do it John!

[Rowenatehrolo]

This was the first ever Vlogbrothers video I saw. A nerdfighter went out of her way to show me this one first. I will forever be baffled why she thought this was the most suitable way to introduce me to nerdfighteria.

[ChakraX2]

look on the bright side the yeti will never say you arent a true champ at punishments

[FantasticBlueGirl]

You should have blenderized the napkin with it.

[thefictionalperson]

I want to know what toy he got..

[gleekyleek]

@thefictionalperson Maybe it was the little bunny (?) he had.

[webmaster8040]

haha hes just like Dumbledore!

[dustymew]

"OH BOY!"

[Rebeccaisstillhere]

Haha. love when your eating, it's like... food, gag, drink, repeat

[Katerydactyl]

Does anyone else wonder how he tell the Yeti that he's going to do these things? Like "Hey, I got another punishment." "Oh?" "Yeah, I have to blenderize a Happy Meal." "Mmmhhhmmm..." "And eat it."

[TotallyNotAshley]

@Katerydactyl There's probably hysterical laughter from the Yeti in there somewhere.

[dearcatherinee]

I bet the Yeti enjoyed the smooth leg.

[shortgeekfreak]

That is not a five!

[TheWarnerSister]

Note that although the Happy Meals are gender-specific, the girl one seems to have superheroes on it anyway. :)

[nomnombunnies]

This video has a special place in my heart. It's the FIRST vlogbrother video I ever saw. Which is why John is kind of my favorite, no offense to Hank. I may very well blend a burger and fries as a tribute to this. And I'll make a video of it. (but no orange drink, and not a Happy Meal. I've vowed to never eat McDonald's ever again. I've been doing pretty good with that for five to seven years, though I'm not sure how long.)

[kittygurl212]

No matter how many times I watch this, I crack up every time John screams out "Oh boy!" It's just so funny! DFTBA!

[AioniosOneirus]

I love how instead of screaming out swear words, his automatic reaction is to stay loudly, "Oh boy!" Just another reason why John rocks everyone's socks.

[HarryPotterTrio91]

OHHHH BOOOY! lol

[scitechrocks]

I'd puke at the sight of it.

[lllauralll0091]

i would probably eat that without pausing if it was put in front of me

[mrloulou97]

1:43

YETI LAIGH

[Spontenaity]

You thought one calf was bad? Try having your eyebrows done. Oh, or a bikini wax. That would be fun.

[theoneandonlyandyman]

they use JoCo music alot.

and by alot i mean twice so far

[Xchris117X]

If he hadn't put the orange juice in I'd happily eat that.