Pastor Joel Osteen's Christian Slightly Dirty Jokes about Naughty Christian Lovers

[nowjustthinkaboutit]

"i know my jokes are not ????? correct, but just to make us laugh.". So, when I am laughing, doesnt matter what about, It´s ok? Just so I laugh??

OH my gosh. When I swa that crowd laughing after tha first joke, i just felt satan ruling all over the placing, having captured all these souls .....

JESUS!!!!

[gilbert4321]

You need to be careful when using the name of the lord in a joke...

[FunSpriter]

The Lord shall not leave unpunish who uses his name in vain.... But Joel really has a good sense of humour.

[theshizam]

if there was ever a trick to make someone watch something this is it. the old bait and switch

[GregLily08]

False advertising, the video and the title dont match.

[starchild1alien]

all you did was copy these jokes from that other guy, and this is misleading text you can get flagged for it. dont say he told a dirty joke unless he did. do not worry i did not flag you. just letting you know the rules

[Ebyhenty]

Hi Pastor Joel, could u believe dat the man i've known to be my lover is Jesus and since i've known this Jesus, i find it difficult to fall in love because i've not seen any man who potrays the love of christ. Pls pray to God to give me a Godfearing person

[narrowpathguy]

Wolf, wolf, wolf

[deightBs]

May the LORD JESUS our GOD Bless you all! To GOD be the glory!

[eeemanjam]

czechoslovakia ? I didn´t get it - did she want him there ?

[dz2ny]

I wonder how many people this inspired to get saved.

[elantriv]

google Doe's Account.

[flameofelijah]

osteen is an apostate & a heretic

[xd1rtx]

@flameofelijah

i wish,, then i might consider giving him an ounce of respect

[anonazero]

lakewood is an abomination and osteen is a heretical false teacher.

[joshthelegodude]

James 4 clearly says that we should not talk bad about other christians bad.

[anonazero]

Joel Osteen is not a christian. he is a false teacher. he does not preach the gospel.

Galatians 1:8But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! 9As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!

[PhysStud2006]

@anonazero No actually, you are the false prophet. Stop taking yourself so seriously;)

[anonazero]

@PhysStud2006 i don't take myself seriously but i do take God's word very seriously. as you should.

[PhysStud2006]

@anonazero And who are you to assume that I dont take God's word seriously? A little self-righteous are we?

[anonazero]

@PhysStud2006 feeling guilty?

[Ninotori]

@anonazero Grow up. You are given no right by god to judge a fellow believer before you know him. Don't miss the plank in your own eye before you look for that splinter, friend.

[anonazero]

@Ninotori you need to jump a few verses up and read Mat 7:2 "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."

according to the bible its our duty to hold people to the word of God IF they claim to be a believer. this man does, therefore, he is subject to that judgment.

secondly, i'm only pointing out that he's preaching a false gospel. since i'm not doing that there is no (hypocrisy) plank in my eye.

[anonazero]

@Ninotori you need to spend more time reading your bible and less time listening to wolves like osteen.

[Ninotori]

@anonazero I was looking for clean jokes, not to listen to this guy, I've never even heard of him. As for reading my bible, I read every chance I get and pray every day. I don't sit and let some other guy I've never known teach me. Now your jumping to conclusions.

[anonazero]

@Ninotori im not jumping to conclusions at all in outing osteen as a wolf. if you're blindly defending him it woudl appear that you, sir, are the one jumping to conclusions. specifically the unbiblical concept that believers are not supposed to judge one another. we are absolutely supposed to do that, its how we hold eachother accountable.

[Ninotori]

@anonazero I don't even know who this idiot is and I don't give a crap about his teachings. I came for jokes, and jokes only. As for the judging thing, yes, we are supposed to judge each other to hold accountability, and you are also supposed to judge by actions. You are sitting there and judging a person you have never met nor you have any understanding of, which is at best, ignorant. As for my matter, I'm saying your jumping to conclusions about me supporting osteen, not about him being false.

[Ninotori]

@Ninotori For that matter, I tend to assume that televangelists are false and out for money and fame anyway, so give me a break. I listen to the bible, not other men.

[anonazero]

@Ninotori will sitting thirty feet from the wolf in his "church" between two giant waterfalls, in a 90 million dollar building, with songs all about how people can overcome, a "sermon" about how you can have your best life now, and a closing prayer asking God to give people the best deals that holiday season do?

he preaches a false prosperity gospel that comforts people all the way to hell. i know this because i've observed him much.

i recommend you investigate someone before you defend them.

[Ninotori]

@anonazero OH MY GOD. I"M NOT DEFENDING HIM. I was saying you were judging that fellow up there when you called him guilty, I'm defending that other USER. I don't CARE about osteen, I don't watch him, I dont even know who he is, what is your problem? Are you desperate to be right or to have the last word or something? Read the full sentence a few more times if you need to: I'm NOT defending Osteen, I hate televangelists, and I came looking for JOKES. Jesus almighty, give me strength...

[anonazero]

@Ninotori defending the user... thats defending the wolf.

i recommend you be more precise in what you post when you're referencing two different people.

[Ninotori]

@anonazero You are a very judgemental and hateful person. You dont even know that guy (the user, by the way).

As for this whole argument, we need to stop. This is stupid, and pointless, and godless. Lets just end it at this: We are all at fault: that's every single person on this planet. The best we can do is admit we are, stop being prideful and angry, and seek to build our actions on love instead of hate. That's what god wants, and what will actually get us somewhere. Sound fair?

[anonazero]

@Ninotori i was just pointing out the wolf in sheep's clothing (osteen) and anyone that would defend him is probably guilty of the same kind of "live and let live dont give a dying world truth" castrated gospel.

this has nothing to do with pride, anger, or hate. thats a false dilemma. the the contrary, the reason why i point out heretics like osteen is beceause i love the sheep. im not supposed to be nice to wolves, im supposed to shoot wolves because they seek to devour the sheep.

[iDeveloper77]

@Ninotori Sorry. my mistake I wasn't addressing to you. I am addressing to @anonazero.

[Ninotori]

@iDeveloper77 Huh? What mistake?

[iDeveloper77]

@Ninotori What are you God? Stop judging people. Build your own church if you are so CORRECT. Let's see if anyone will follow you.

[iDeveloper77]

@anonazero What are you God? Stop judging people. Build your own church if you are so CORRECT. Let's see if anyone will follow you.

[anonazero]

@iDeveloper77 no i'm not, i'm just doing what God told me to. there is only one church, Christ's, and His people follow him. i have no interest in conning men into following me.

Jude 1:3 Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints.

[GUNNINGDOWNUNITED]

ok this is gay:L