Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks

[WeAretheWalrii]

1:18 ---> Is that Tim Roth?

[xXiibusterXx]

THIS IS BULLSHIT ALL THE VIDEOS WEREN'T EVEN APART OF IT. DAMN YOU SLEDGE HAMMER WHY DID U REMOVE SOAP INSTEAD!?

[ABACABEAA]

I'm stuck on the part where you have to show a picture of your wife to the other soldiers and you have to bitch and moan about how much you miss her. I keep getting to the part where the black guy says she has a nice ass and then I die. Anybody know any cheats to get past this part?

[Quizerno]

I'd play it.

[ohlaph]

Lol..  That's right, argue people.., (it's worth it).

[2247gg]

help! i'm in the part where you have to fill in the paperwork but my pen runs out of ink! i'm stuck and can't find any ink, is this a bug? help!

[1990LIGHT]

@2247gg It might be? try to see the web site i have not got to that level yet. Am working on making my bed.

[xXxIcedude677xXx]

this is so bullshit ¬¬

this is obviously fake

if this is real im flying to equestria

[Imhornydadcomeinside]

@xXxIcedude677xXx No this is completely real, I heard the game also includes masturbating in dirty toilets

[Bannersnake]

Jessica Biel is way hotter then Shakira

[zacthebold]

@Bannersnake Yeah but she can't dance anything like Shakira.

[Bannersnake]

@zacthebold Then you havent seen powder blue

[Illuminated2]

I wonder if it includes parts like urinating, taking a shit, and masturbating?

[wwwtotalitaerde]

The Germany problem is misunderstood around the world.The reason for German atrocities and agressiveness is a result of greed and idleness.Racism and the idea of world domination are only an ideological cover for this greed and idleness.This makes it very difficult to deal with the question of Germany, as the German state will always assemble a large part of the Germans with the aim"to make money"using immoral means.My brother had been tortured 5.5 years and was murdered because of our homepage

[TheRekcabOfTheD]

I live near Clayton.

[HesBehindYou44]

@speedsurfer123 CREATIVE!!!!

[HesBehindYou44]

@raider2661 I like cod and bf3

[Erduk]

This video is still full of win.

[launchsystem]

fuck off crybabies

[daspoooop]

shutup just because you suck you qq .. go play farmville

[AwesomeOposum]

lolololol, they had to change the name of the title from Modern Warfare 3. what a shame The Onion.

[katinkers]

"Biden supports legalization of marijuana for those suffering from vice presidency"

[HO1ySh33t]

That chick at 2:02 is hot

[MrPentatonicScale]

0:46 skills: endurance, infrequent urination, impressions of superiors, beatboxing

I can sleep at night knowing that these are the skills that the US military looks for in a good soldier.

[MrWaddefak]

would have been better then the actual game :(

[halburd1]

@MrWaddefak yeah i bought it, played it a few times. it sucked, what a waste of money.

[JohntheNonCultist]

At least this MW3 actually has something new.

[OhMaiGoddess]

Can't tell if trolls or just really, really stupid CoD fans

[luisrock2008]

@OhMaiGoddess dude, this is a fake news station. There funny trolls. They troll about anything

[OhMaiGoddess]

@luisrock2008 I meant the people in the comments, not ONN

[luisrock2008]

@OhMaiGoddess oh, k then :D

[swishers420please]

lmao if u dont get it ur probably a terrorist. or a troll. or both. ;-)

[awininegeno]

1:50 shes unbelievably flat...

[AnimusPipboy]

@awininegeno Haha that's true.I have bigger breasts and i'm skinny 18 years old male lolol rofl Asians....

[MrMcbosh]

fake!!!!!!!i own the game

[XxKuRoTsUbAsAxX]

@MrMcbosh This is 100% real. You're probably playing a cheap Chinese version rip off.

[Bton1233]

mw3 does suck about that bad

[Mendosa666]

@sbP144 dude it's a joke, did you see when the video was posted? This came out loong before MW3 was even announced. It's supposed to be making fun of games that try to be ultra-realistic

[sbP144]

i dont get it , the MW3 that came out is nothing like this that is shown in the video, some1 explain?

[Nightslashable]

@sbP144 Onion News tells fake news like 1:20. Look at the bottom. 17,250 hours of campaign is impossible.

[sbP144]

@Nightslashable even so! the game is right there at 1:20! , it's not like they were going to do that little gameplay that is shown on the video on porpous just to give fake news

[everyone11111]

@sbP144 It is satire

[yomama362cody]

@sbP144 its the fucking onion..... their bullshiters and fake

[sodra9000]

They were close, its an ultra realistic simulation of Modern Warfare 2!

[Maximillios]

I got a chance to do the beta for the virtual reality one that's coming out soon. Its so realistic, i had to go to a military processing center to fill out paperwork (legal stuff). then after like two months of waiting i went back and was told to spend the night in a hotel. I guess they must of put on the equipment while i was sleeping. Because the next day i was started the basic level, well technically reception, which is like the training level for basic.

[nexusmaxis1]

@Maximillios Yea, I got into that one yesterday. Pretty sweet, I got the part where I waited in a room for 45 minutes while I waited for the room to fill up with people. After that was done I got to practice sitting in a room for 4 hours while waiting for counselors to arrive.

[Maximillios]

@nexusmaxis1 Dude wait until you get to reception, I'm not sure if they updated it, but with i when started it three years ago the beginning was so intense that you didn't get the chance to sleep for the first 2 days, oh and when i had to wait in line to get the picture for the id card(you need it for later levels) I never knew standing straight up, silently, heel to toe for 8 hours would be so much fun. And then we got told to come back tomorrow.

[godboy114]

"17 pound controller that you have to carry around all day and not fire without explicit orders"

SIGN ME IN!

[shamadooee]

And now Modern Warfare 3 is actually coming out.

Bet TheOnion didn't see that coming.

What if their predictions were wrong?

[Alfey]

Hahaha!

[newbment]

This is just stupid.

[quackjask]

If you still don`t have Modern Warfare 3 check out: goo.gl\iQBA4

[footbalmoney192]

Assassin's Creed. Enough said.

[trannforsmers]

ill get the wii one

[saints360row]

That game looks better than any of the Modern Warfare games. To be honest, if that game they showed came out I would buy it. I won't be buying MW3 and didn't buy MW2 or Black Cocks.

But I would really like to play that game they showed. It's different, and that's why I like it. COD and many other games are all the same now.

[Balian49]

Ramirez!

[corky064]

God damn... Beating the level "Second Sunday Patrol" on veteran has got to be a MILLION times tougher than Mile High Club...

[J88Wolf]

I would totally play this! :D

[raider2661]

Does anybody else think it's pretty fucked up that we make videogames for the wars we're fighting. I wonder how that looks to the rest of the world?

[WhiteTiger225]

@raider2661 Erm... more then just us do that kid.

[raider2661]

@WhiteTiger225 What do you mean?

[saints360row]

@WhiteTiger225 -You know what really annoys me? - People who call others "kid" when they don't even know what the age is of the person that they are calling a kid is. It just makes them look like a kid.

And there should be a comma right before kid, too, shithead.

[saints360row]

@raider2661 -They're just games. And the U.S. aren't the only ones in this oil war now, you know. But do you really think that it's all that fucked up that games pictured around WWII were made?

[missmcpirate]

@raider2661 yeah it's pretty fucked up :(

[raider2661]

@missmcpirate finally, somebody agrees with me! People are over there dying and living in fear (both our own soldiers and our enemies) and then we have fat kids at home playing graphic reenactments of this violence for 'fun' (in between bong hits). It's just completely fucked

[videogamemaniac83]

@raider2661 Why is there a serious discusion on something thats supposed to be funny?

[lazy4295]

@raider2661 Would you rather we send the fat kids to war to make themselves useful perhaps? Or maybe just let them stop having fun and philosophize about death instead?

[SexyMelon]

@raider2661 But whole else is going to actually be fighting those wars? Fat stupid kids who think it's going to be "fun" and "heroic", or educated and responsible adults who'd rather not dispense death and suffering because a radio tells them to?

It's marketing 101. You need a product to sell.

War is fun, kids.

[9cloudersprofile]

@raider2661 Then why watch this?Dumbshit

[daspoooop]

@raider2661 north koreans also physically attack fake wooden soldiers with sticks, is that better because they're getting physical exercise? War is always around the corner and during peace time you should be preparing for war if you don't want to lose. Yes it should be different, yes we should be peaceful but guess what no one in the world is and the ones that are get destroyed (tibet). Fact of life is if your not killing, something or someone is eyeing you up and will kill you.

[skulleton]

@daspoooop

That's an over cynical way of seeing things. I don't think the point of our short existences is to try to kill each other.

[hartlockersh]

@raider2661 Children play guns all the time, video games have just removed the age barrier. =)

[Krauserowns]

@raider2661 don't understand the difference between reality and fantasy?

[MegaHolymacaroni]

@raider2661 Who cares

[Costerguy1234556]

@MegaHolymacaroni People who aren't selfish assholes.

[MegaHolymacaroni]

@Costerguy1234556 How does it make me selfish? I don't understand how playing war video games has anything to do with anything. Does that mean we shouldn't play Dr. Mario because there are people dying in hospitals?

[nisbahmumtaz909]

@MegaHolymacaroni

No...

he means that why have fun over a clearly horrible subject?

Oh, and Dr. Mario was simply dropping pills. I'm sorry, but that was a bad comparison :/

[blackdot550]

@nisbahmumtaz909 So i suppose we should not have any sort of film or literature cover the topic of war either, because i enjoy watching movies and reading books, and by your logic, that would be entertainment derived from war, which is apparently fucked up.

[nisbahmumtaz909]

@blackdot550

War IS sort of fucked up.

However, it seems to be the template for today's FPS games.

It's like they're promoting it or something.

Then again, 'Merica, lol.

[blackdot550]

@nisbahmumtaz909 no, i meant that, according to what you said, it appeared you believed any sort of literature or film would also be "fucked up". I am well aware war is fucked up, but i believe that, if presented in the right way, a video game use war as it's basis without glorifying senseless violence. That is why in most video games, there appears to be a clear cut bad guy, who cannot be stopped with the use of force. I find war to be interesting, but never "cool" or a good thing.

[dtpheif]

@nisbahmumtaz909 is there a way you can make a First person shooter without using guns or shooting at people? (hunting games are boring)

[nisbahmumtaz909]

@dtpheif

Ever played BF3?

Ever used the MAV?

People always argue about graphics, realism, and whatever stupid things that should be in games. The MAV is a spying device, but can also be used to decapitate the enemy's head. Now, in real life that is physically impossible. That's also what makes it my only preferred FPS game. Why? Because it has things that can make me laugh to myself even when I'm alone. Also, because it can never happen in real life.

[001SpecialAgent]

@dtpheif Sherlock Holmes games, Nemisis, Sherlock Holmes vs Jack the Ripper.

[MegaHolymacaroni]

@nisbahmumtaz909 It was a perfect comparison. So we shouldn't play Hospital Tycoon games because people die in hospitals? Is that better? Should we not play farmville because sometimes crops fail and people go hungry in real life? You make absolutely no sense and you take life way too seriously. Just because there is war going on it doesn't mean we all have to be depressed about it. We should enjoy life whatever way we want.

[nisbahmumtaz909]

@MegaHolymacaroni

Diseases are inevitable. Hospital Tycoon sort of teaches management, as do most Tycoon games.

I wish I could enjoy life however I want it, but let's just say it's not easy for the average academic.

It's all work and no play for us, with tiny breaks in between. Or as some of us like to call it, "publish or perish". Different creeds follow different lifestyles. Even if I retort with a counterargument, nobody would accept their own faults anyway, so, meh.

[iKickComputers]

@raider2661 Have you served in actual combat?

[octupus6]

Wow, not gunna lie, I'd TOTALLY play this. The Wii version as well XD

[reload95]

call of duty is like a turd being milked full of money its shit but they make money out of it

[MegaHolymacaroni]

@reload95 How is one of the most successful game to ever be made shit? Just because you don't like it doesn't make it shit.

[Yarmox]

PBT. Keeshon Lewis- skills= Infrequent urination. Lmao that cracked me up

[GKid51892]

oh man, they should make a new one but go back in time to ww2 again... could you imagine how awesome that would be? from cruising around paris looking for women, to making the lower ranks dig sleep holes in ditches by the road while you have a smoke...sweet

[awesomenoob6281]

@GKid51892 especily with the awesome graphics nowadays wwII would look nice

[rmr355]

I want the Wii version.

[uwlwsrpm]

@ProzacMan Sorry to hear about that, hope he's okay. Don't worry about that fitobcnfito douche.

[uwlwsrpm]

My brother who was in the army watched this and said that they also had epic discussions about which girl they would prefer screwing the most. However, most of the debates usually came down to Mila Kunis vs. Angelina Jolie, rather than Shakira vs Jessica Biel.

[uwlwsrpm]

If the game were truly like this, it would be the most realistic representation of modern warfare. Seriously.

[bickybocky]

i cant explain how true this is

[nhafner]

17,250 hour campaign... hell yea haha

[pat5168]

Skills: Endurance, infrequent urination, impressions of superiors, beatboxing.

[killerkerara]

Sadly, Activision decided to scrap this innovative idea and make yet another piece of shit first person shooter that is identical to every other piece of shit person shooter on the piece of shit first person shooter market.

[TF2playerwhohateCOD]

realism? where is the realisim?

faggots

[S0rasN0b0dy]

@TF2playerwhohateCOD You're retarded.

[TF2playerwhohateCOD]

@S0rasN0b0dy

there is no realisim in MW2

[R3leaZ]

@TF2playerwhohateCOD I like your username

[UniteBios]

Proof BF3 will be better. This is for noobs.

[MrPeoplesman1234]

OOOOOO 10 hours of repairing humvees SOUNDS LIKE FUN :D

[8015908]

Now that's what I call realistic! lol. HOORAHH

[rabdamn]

1:22 Fat guuyyy!

[BabeyGurlie69]

yeah i know, it does happen from time to time, getting laid after meeting someone on utube

[Aceofthedaysdawn]

lol arma 2 is still better in my opinion

[Aceofthedaysdawn]

OH MY ASS! this is what they said about mw2 but it never fucking happened and besides half the audience is too fucking stupid to enjoy the break from killing 900 people in 5 minutes its rediculous im glad they're changing the way they make it

[Account0997]

1) This video was very informative

2) Nintendo should make an m249 controller.

[Donw73]

1:03 Listen Carefully, is that Eminem "Role Model?" :D

[GameDependable]

@Donw73

I hear that it's Eminem but i cant hear that it's 'role model'...

[Donw73]

@GameDependable I think I hear the tune of Role Model. The main song in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 was 'Till I Collapse by Eminem. Also Black Ops was Won't Back Down. So I think that it's definitely Eminem :D

[GameDependable]

@Donw73

i know...

[mariomguy]

"I was just standing there, and I got shot in the back, and now I'm dead."

This line speaks wonders about the realities of war and the glamorization of violence in the media.

"Congress has agreed to go on the same cell phone plan to save money"

This isn't a bad idea!

[unopinionated]

@mariomguy be quiet peasant 

[Kapov]

Playing FPS with a pad, lamers

[S7yx0]

Well... In a point, this is the best episode of the serie...

[leeham991]

Funnily enough I'd buy that game.

[Sync1212]

When the guys fixing the jeep thing if you look in mw2 you can see a guy fixing the jeep thing

[GiveMeABloodyUser]

@Sync1212 yeah i know.. this is fake

[megafio]

yeeeeea.... FUCK CALL OF DUTY!!

[Bert2DX]

War, war never changes. 

[GnosticAtheist]

@Bert2DX aaaahahahahah

[airbornghost123]

@Bert2DX or does it? no it doesnt change.... does it? No War is war (: -fires gun- boring boring boring.... LOL

[AlfredX1990]

@Bert2DX War has changed in MGS4

[blahblah2018]

so so true haha

[Xeonsteel08]

The single player is 17 thousand hours LONG lol

[StrifeXIII]

I loled at this.

[HaloAndy15]

dude, i got that free trial on the xbox marketplace. i barely beat the campaign level. it was intense. it was like - BOOM! you died. it was amazing.

[Elzebub666]

I WANT THAT CONTROLLER!

[treeclimer9]

Ooooh, can't wait for Redeployment:Germany.

My friend got to play that one early, and said it was great.

[YukiSohma1990]

If the Wii had the m-249 as a controller, fuck xbox 360 and ps3, i'm going back to my wii

[CrownVictoriaCop]

Ramirez!!!!!!!!!

[TNTLotLP]

2:35

DO WANT

[PaleHearse]

Funny stuff.  2 thumbs up for the Onion.

[TheRandomkid321]

i wish it were like this i would so buy it.

[driverx241]

Does anyone know how to fix the truck? Sgt. Foley keeps telling me to replace the rusty axle on it, but the only parts I can find are WD-40 and green spray paint.

[tkshrimp1994]

@driverx241

Captain Price would know :P

[X0Dave0X]

my idiot brother thought this was real :P

[customlego4lol]

you ******* stink faker LOL.

[kalamari13]

90% of the people who have watched this don't know how badly they're getting make fun of...

[tenaciousdfan9]

I Think they Are on someting here. (Looks smooth)

[Rimsa]

Fake

[TankNMofo]

It's funny because it's true!

[mizmarbie832]

I was driving to Las Vegas with my ex and gave him road head, so much fun!

[austin329iscool]

That girl in the Homesick mission lied! I was walking and they didnt shoot me! she must've been glitched.

[seanmurray2010]

cant wait

[OmegaPisces]

The Wii version looks good...

[f1990f1]

this is so true O.o most ppl think that usa soldiers only fightbut the most thing they do is complaining and dancing O-o and smoking

[madjimms]

I would honest still play it...

[starefossen]

Nice one at the end; "And the congress has agreed to go on the same cellphone plan to save money"

[RAZGRIZ13456789]

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is not Call of Duty....

This video is really making me decide not to buy this game.....

[StalkingRainbow]

@RAZGRIZ13456789 Yeah I heard that in MW3 one of the missions is 6 hours long and all you do is fill out paper work, but the worst part is that there are no checkpoints.

[Avian98X]

@StalkingRainbow

This video is FAKE you dumb retard XD

[StalkingRainbow]

@Avian98X I guess you've never heard of sarcasim how sad... just google it.

[Avian98X]

@StalkingRainbow

K,

1) That comment was actually ment for "RAZGRIZ13456789"

2) True, i have never heard of SARCASIM before. Please explain what it is : )!

[StalkingRainbow]

@Avian98X 1.RAZ was being sarcastic as well

2. You missed that one by a mile you should really brush up on sarcasim

[halo2untouchable]

@RAZGRIZ13456789 I feel the same way, the map pack isn't even going to be worth it. Filing Vehicle Diagnostic Reports and repairing over 3000 humvees is too hard,

[booyahhayoob]

17, 250 hours is 1.96 years. Nice try, Onion. Nice job on the vid though.

[thomashester2]

You Died

[birdbear09]

Props to The Onion for doing a good job on this video. Would be intersting to see peoples reaction to what soldiers really do, instead of constant fighting, there really is a lot of stuff we do that most non-military people don't realize.

[RealMemoryDecay]

This is a very accurate of what the real Army is like, except it even gets worse.