TSA Touches Your Wiggly Bits ;)

[AquariaSpirit]

A child carrying a sheathed daggers is no more or less dangerous than a child carrying a fork at lunch.

[cheektocheeksmile]

im going to Florida this spring. and if i do have to do the pat-down option, then i WILL make farm animal noises AND say "no daddy" under my breath, JUST TO MAKE THE EXPERIENCE THE MOST AWKWARD IT CAN POSIBBLY BE FOR THE OTHER PERSON. hmm, Does this make me a horrible person or a comedy genius?? haha :)

[VoodooPolitico]

The TSA fuckwads at LAX give better handjobs during the "pat down" then most Thai massage parlor girls do.

There is a fat black guy named Darrell working at the LAX TSA that really gets his hand around your crank to search it well to ensure that you arent carrying a bomb on your cock.

[nillocthegreat]

Am I an evil person for laughing at his "No Daddy" joke?

[PatroliumHD]

and the quest for crysticmmontage's comment

[MsTwiHater]

I pulled the "NO DADDY!!" one the other week. The dude gave me a "Holy shit" look and stopped immediatly. Works every time... ;)

[ll0llz]

hahaha you mmm babambams;)

[Mmoslayer324]

I have a kid at school who is part of the Sikh religion

He is a douchebag

Not because of his religion

His cousin is one of my best friends

He is just a douche

[TheNightsMoon]

I think he SHOULD have the knive.

[Carterofthedead]

@MsRowieful

Yeah, Phil actually has a video up of one of the times where a TSA douche is stripping an 11-year-old right in public.

[Krazyisthebest]

@goodvibrato Modern values does not mean forget religious values.

[Krazyisthebest]

The Kirpan is a religious artifact. It's easy for someone who does not know anything about it jump to conclusions that its a weapon and can be used to hurt. You have to read about Sikh values to truly understand that these baptized Sikhs are under religious oath and that the Kirpan is never taken out to be shown or glorified. Sikhs wear it with a special strap that makes it difficult for the Kirpan to be taken out. It's also kept underneath clothing, so it's not noticeable.

[sepsepsep12]

the TSA shud jus hire a bunch of supermodels and giv pat downs to EVERYONE...i think that wud be awesum :)

[coleisawesome532]

@sepsepsep12 u need to be president

[sepsepsep12]

@coleisawesome532 thnx mate, u can be vice-president ;)

[coleisawesome532]

@sepsepsep12 perfect

[TheHotsaucekiller]

@coleisawesome532 look guys i am 100% behind this move but Phil is gonna be president so why don't tell him your idea. i'm sure he will approve of it seeing as how he already said when he becomes president all women must wear tight yoga pants

[xCR4ZYQUILTx]

why all the haters?

[mmtot]

If I ever see you in the street defranco watch yourself wee man, ya fucking shit talkin prick.

[atami210]

I didn't get an option....I had to go through both...

[TheRushingWind]

@atami210 then just try to think of it as no big deal, just something that had to happen for security.

[atami210]

@TheRushingWind

I am a Canadian teenager...what kinda security are you talking about?

I dont like getting exposed to radiation and being grouped by a bunch of fat idiots.

[TheRushingWind]

@atami210 I thought they weren't doing that in Canada? And I'm talking about being secure from people who shove explosives down their underwear

[atami210]

@TheRushingWind

You do realize that Canadians do fly down south...

And as far as I know, there was that one underwear bomber from Africa who got on a plane, and for all i can care, I don't think the TSA has prevented any attacks.

[TheRushingWind]

@atami210 true but the more TSA practice security measures, the more likely they are to stop terrorists. If you think of it as no big deal, then it won't bother you

[nursechrista1]

Sign me up for a de Franco patdown!

[SuperTongpo]

Phil, It would be fun to light you on fire and to watch you burn alive.

[nottinmatterz2day]

Watching your videos I get bored around halfway because of your nonsense talking

[confettistar]

Either your face or your glasses are crooked. One of them needs to be adjusted

[rjDeol99]

kirpans (cerimonial daggers) are just symbolic, and anybody who has one isn't crazy, we don't just give them out like halloween candy, in fact most sikhs either dont have kirpans, or they choose not to wear them in public. and like you said, they are all welded shut, incase one should fall into the hands of a crazy person :S

[Security98]

i got the pat down and just started saying oooooyeaaaa dont stop keeep going and he got the point and pretty much stoped.

[kyleh0921]

no daddy!

[pkpapers]

CRIMES against the US Constitution. We took care of Geore III didn't we.

[rahrahritaa]

horse noise..

[dmoney517]

The fact is, flying is a privalege, not a right. Dont like the rules, drive.

[UchihaAnjirika5577]

@dmoney517 Yes, because we can drive over the sea...

[amuslimguy]

@dmoney517 then your freedom and privacy and dignity are all privileges, too

[Istaru97]

Why are they even trying this stupid scanner thingy? It's not gonna help at all, it's only gonna see if you have implants (or a lot of stupid shit that it's not supposed to do), and that's like 90% of the people in LA (no offense). Phil's right, though, the terrorists do win. Their intensions aren't to kill us, but to strike fear, which they have done, hence the paranoia, and these machines are only helping them, and it doesn't help that 80% of us a retarded (and no, I don't mean it like that)

[Istaru97]

Why are they even trying this stupid scanner thingy? It's not gonna help at all, it's only gonna see if you have implants (or a lot of stupid shit that it's not supposed to do), and that's like 90% of the people in LA (no offense). Phil's right, though, the terrorists do win. Their intensions aren't to kill us, but to strike fear, which they have done, hence the paranoia, and these machines are only helping them

[PurpleJB99]

For the ladies: Your MMMMBABAMBAMS

[loooooodi]

your the worst thing that ever happened and ever will be !!!

[ianbrox]

@loooooodi it's "you're".. loser.

[Jycorro]

I flew back from SOCAL last week and offered to tip the TSA agent for a great pat down. Dude has soft hands. LOL

[crazychubba]

I actually LOLed this time around..."NO DADDY!"

[Lilbluerocket]

hey little kkid you like candy?

[xXsanchoaXx]

dude you suck stop makin so bad videos seriously

[aliG2500]

the knife is in the turban, phil. that's why they couldn't find it for so long.

[conanspeaks]

Let off some steam Bennett

[FBIHank]

I kept a knife on me for a 3 moth period at school, before anyone noticed its was on my belt.

[Darkhorse21x]

Hey Phil,

How about a comment on how the Sihk kid is forced to go to a public school because his parents taxes areforced to pay forthe public school and are not allowed to be diverted to the schol of their choosing which basically forces the Sihk or any other ethnic minority from competing with the state subsidized public indoctrination system.

Minorities should be allowed to send their tax monet to the indoctrination program of their choice, but that would be un-american and pro freedom

[velasco4life]

fuck that im doing horse noises

[bloodsuckern]

oh look. a youtubefaggotwhoreass.

[baalisgod666]

The suggestion is funny. Have a fake orgasm while being patted down, and have someone tape it. Upload on YT :)

[kjax76]

Phillip, thanks for being unoriginal, following trends in video editing, and wasting *less* of my time than you otherwise would have. Um, what did you say, again? Sorry- you lost me at, "14 year old kid with weapon..."

Best wishes, dude.

[BalooDumptruck]

@Jisamaniac

little do you know but stiraghts back then force non-stiraghts to do what the media and society wants, and back then, he would have been killed/beaten if he had came out

[Daveiddt]

3:06 LOL

[CoHOCD]

Haha, my best friend flew by herself one time, and chose the pat down because she's terrified of those scan things. When they touched her naughty parts she said, "Are you not even gonna take me out to dinner afterwards? Where has chivalry gone?"

[juliaspike]

phil, i don't think you would say a movie's good just cuz their sponsoring you... that would be lame. you rock! and for anyone that thought otherwise.... you're the d.o.t.d.

[mgfhd]

I left the page and came back to click on dislike!

[stopthestinknow]

note to self: pick magic machine and flip them off when inside

[MrSnowman303]

OBAMA SUCKS!!!!

[NNJAproductionz]

0:01

[cepafo]

Putain tu peux pas parler moins vite ?

[MsRowieful]

@K1LLERSHADOW

Wow well im deffunatly not gonna let my parents force me to travle by plane theb

[TheRushingWind]

@MsRowieful your profile says you're 21. How old are you really?

[MayzHughes]

The Terrorist win every time people freak out like this and want more security, therefore giving up their own freedom. Thank you George Bush for the Patriot Act

[MsRowieful]

Do they make young kids do it like 12 year olds

[percyjacksonfan10]

Why is eveyone hating on the TSA agents. They don't like touching your balls as much as you don't like being your balls being touched. And also my cousin is a TSA agent and he is close to quiting because everyone hates him for trying to keep thousands of lifes safe

[CAlivin88]

@percyjacksonfan10 please don't be ignorant your whole life

[FREAKODEAKO]

NO DADDY!

[DeathPunisher08]

@FREAKODEAKO Armageddon!!

[BronzeOrwin]

I think I'll go with the patdown too. FARM ANIMAL NOISES ALL THE WAY!! >:D

[kramesphoto]

Phil. you are my hero. make farm animal noises. hell yes haha

[bpse1952]

this is a great video!!! i recently watched a sweet video regarding psn keygen /watch?v=QmvTFfnGm8g

[babyjesus454]

the pictures from the super magic nakey machine are about as revealing as pictures of people with there clothes on

[IgnoranceIsBliss62]

3:49-4:00 oh boy. I had to play that over. And over. And over. Makes my day EVERY time lol

[Swordfyre]

Like this comment if you played 2:19 over 10 times :3

[snodgrss1984]

cant wait till the tsa is something of history

[snodgrss1984]

i like this asshole because i would stomp there religion its a fucking knife

[only2percent]

From 9/11 fool to fool body scanner:

watch?v=6fhWdzXKvfQ



[hillbillylily]

Turn-about is fair play. TSA has to check to see if I'm hiding a bomb, then I've got the right to make sure they aren't hiding anything.

[rickjamez06]

5 stars on the title!!

[grungeface87]

Good job you clarified that, you don't want the embarrassment of people thinking you liked Skyline.

[KillTheRabbit45]

They took away my ninja star of david in school.

[BohemianRugby]

they give kids only one option for screening. touching them and doin innapropiate stuff

[boxoflols]

in my religion, I am allowed to carry a fucking bomb in my turban and a sniper in my trunk to kill people.

if your against it, then your "stepping on my religion"

[akhtar123abc]

@boxoflols Thats what I said to them.

[oggilol1]

There is never any hot once ;-P

[ubertuberdude]

when you get patted down, you can request a different TSA agent if you think that they are "sexually attracted to you". Keep getting a new one until you get a a hot one. =P

[buttershady24]

no daddy!!! XD hahaha

[bluedove99]

NO DADDY!!!

[OutOfTheArtwork]

No, Daddy! D:

[cysticmontage]

Al Qaeda don't even need to bomb the USA because the tsa is ruining planes. Osama is sitting in his cave laughing at the us.

[CAlivin88]

@cysticmontage please don't be ignorant your whole life! seek the truth of 9/11

[Jogeta5]

@cysticmontage

he's dead...

[Thomasveach95]

@cysticmontage Well, he aint laughing anymore....

[BirrelSquoy]

@cysticmontage

Well... ABOUT that, (Past) Cysticmontage....

>:D

[thechoclatewonder]

@cysticmontage No hes not....

[DANI476]

@cysticmontage not anymore ;)

[Alltimelow700]

@cysticmontage Ehehehe not any moooooore

[mrrmstudios]

@cysticmontage nah hes dead

[jamierox333]

See some more touching over at WatchCelebSexTapes. com

The good kind of touching!

[TheDadonTheRun]

TSA wants to touch my tasty bits? Check out the cartoon here: youtube.com/watch?v=XOl1hxsJh9­w

[maxqt]

thanks for filling me in assigned struggling you tuber.

[NoDropLS]

If they touch your privates call the police and have them arrested for sexual assault.

[mmd247]

LMFAO FARM ANIMAL NOISES!! I WUV U!!!!

[adhranek]

@astroboy315 If you don't want to fly on a fucking plane then live with in the means that you don't have to fly, don't give me bullshit about being forced to fly.

[TheRushingWind]

@adhranek bullshit? What about people who have to fly to work, or sick relatives, or funerals, or weddings? I understand it is important for security, but it should be done on a probable-cause basis like it is with cops. OR, if it really isn't sexual, then it shouldn't be made to seem like it is by having the same gender do it. And it shouldn't be over quickly as though it's something to be "gotten over"; it should be treated as no big deal. And the genital touching should be left till last

[adhranek]

@TheRushingWind then don't work for a job that requires you to fly, and have you ever heard of a thing called a car... if you don't want to deal with the security measures at the airports then don't fly, it's as simple as that...

[TheRushingWind]

@adhranek have you ever heard of being realistic? Most small towns have hardly any businesses and therefore hardly any jobs, meaning a long trip elsewhere, often by plane. Also have you ever heard of not being rich enough to afford to randomly buy a car and all the petrol involved in travelling for hours to get to work each day? It's not "simple", you're blinded

[adhranek]

@TheRushingWind One, you are a retard. It's in no way shape or form unrealistic to refuse to fly on a plane. Again, if you don't want to fly, live with in the means that you don't have to fly. Living with in those means makes you have to give up somethings. Two, have you ever heard of public transportation, or even your own damn feet. Stop being a bitch, you are wrong...

[TheRushingWind]

@adhranek the way you get so aggressive so easily suggests you have anger management problems that need to be addressed. Own feet? For many miles or even a hundred or more? Public transport - when it doesn't exist adequately in many parts of the USA? Bitch? Um I actually gave options to make it seem like no big deal. Grow up

[yogenfruzsmoothie]

U didn't say happy bday on this vid!

[edbsu]

LOL make animal noises when the TSA members touch you

[SirWinstonChurchill]

The least they could do, if they are going to grope my cock, is let me go through the line as many times as it takes for me to cum...

Obama is more worried about gay soldiers playing with each others' wee wees than he is about national security.

When is the government going to stop playing with their wee wees, stop jerking on my wee wee and actually solve the problem?

The borders are more wide open than my zipper is at the airport!

[missranda721]

I lost focus on everything else he said after "MMMMM BA BAM BAMS"

[Soaronex]

@unicorncoupdetat This is extremely annoying

[Jeremy92Neel]

what's with the constant cuts? can't you just say everything in one continuous shot?

[yudiputay]

Fuck outta my page

[MafaldaBoy]

Like if you realized that this was his 600th video, it was ur birthday today, AND that hr didn't say happy birthday to us :)

[NorwegianWriterGuy]

Hi Phillip! sorry for advertising on your comment section! forgive me:)

Anyone here play League of Legends? if you do! send me an email and I'll give you a really good link! written by me ofc /flex :)

Can't really post the link here so~

[Platikum]

I HATE UR FACE!  FAGGET

[mikeeexDD]

Fag

[hayaom20]

my name is Ronaldo cristiano and use clear men.

mi nombre es cristiano ronaldo y uso clear men.

[drumhead07]

That church is 20 minutes from my house!!

[snodgrss1984]

fuck the tsa and stop touching our women they like real men that like hell on high heels not fags patting them down as for the video poster dont step on peoples beliefs stomp them out its a fucking knife for real

[1mousiegirl]

1. like the scruffy look 2. kid with knife... not cool... 3. gay magic..? hahaha happy you made him the... BAMF....? haha noo idea haha but glad 4. mindless action movies rock!!! umm obama comment... umm ...k 5. love your pat down advice.. MOOOO haha

[1mousiegirl]

1. like the scruffy look 2. kid with knife... not cool... 3. gay magic..? hahaha happy you made him the... BAMF....? haha noo idea haha but glad 4. mindless action movies rock!!! umm obama comment... umm ...k

[shaneymane15]

you suck phil

[1mousiegirl]

1. like the scruffy look 2. kid with knife... not cool... 3. gay magic..? hahaha happy you made him the... BAMF....? haha noo idea haha but glad

[1mousiegirl]

1. like the scruffy look 2. kid with knife... not cool... 3. gay magic..? hahaha

[1mousiegirl]

1. like the scruffy look

[MjXllcommando]

Phil, Jim wasnt an anti gay preacher, do more research.

[jtwidmer]

on the other hand, 14 year old kid has a weapon. I have to say regarding the gay pastor, ok, people who have kids were apparently at one time, not gay. Example: I could not just see a dude and decide 'hey, I'm not gay, but I'm gonna do this guy'. Which is what a gay guy, having sex with a woman, essentially is.

[DannieD711]

"NO DADDY!!" lmfao i bust out laughing in the coffee shop and got weird looks thanks to that lol

[69in1]

boo phlip suck

[PublicSting]

They say that the body scanners only emit a safe level of radiation.

Now, radiation is dangerous, so we should try to avoid it as much as we can,

because that radiation from the scanner, how little it may be, could be the last dose needed to give you cancer

[opticonica]

Dude, are you personally homosexual....the reason I ask is your "crusader" rhetoric just makes you appear really really gay.

[flamingosftw]

noooo daddy"

lol that just made my day

[Drstator86]

hi fuckin idiot

[MrNunyaz]

I have seen a lot of talk about the images being saved and not being able to save the images from the scanners. I have not heard anyone say the most obvious of problems , even if the images are auto deleted from the computer the TSA agent monitoring the images can still take a picture with their phone !

[WillysBw]

It's my belief that the citizens of the U.S. should constitute a well armed society. Therefore those citizens should be allowed to carry their firearms with them while traveling.

And yes, I'm religious about my constitutional beliefs.

[maximusdecimus888]

Rachel Maddcow finally got her own channel.

[DutsonEntertainment]

NOOOO DADDY!

[croftyben1]

Thats like a penis choppin' knife

[abendugo]

Your funny but you can tell your subjects you talk about are very biased. If it has anything to do with religion or Christianity you bring out the untruth negative and then the truth is stretched. Just saying the truth... Jesus loves gays He just doesn't like what they do with other men.

[moha1911]

dont fill ur mouth with nuts ...

[makantang]

booooooooorrrringggggggggggg

[establishedin1983]

TSA now stands for "Total Sexual Assault".

We have been trained to accept the abuse, and Americans are so damned stupid that they will accept this kind of treatment right up ’til you are escorted into a FEMA camp. How long people… how long you gonna put up with shit??

We need to organize a 1 day National Strike ...

[vavuc]

shet kyut niea



[SOAHCSOAHCSOAHC]

I won't be flying commercial - at all - until they revise this garbage and, ideally, eliminate the TSA. If I did, I'd choose the pat-down, and giggle uncontrollably every time I was touched, anywhere.

"I'm sorry sir. I've extremely ticklish. Just continue.... Hehehehahaaa!"

"I'm going to get you a private room."

"I'm not comfortable with that. Please just finish the screening, I don't want to be late.... HAAAAAHAHAHAheeeeeEEEEE!"

"I'm calling a supervisor."

Remember; tomorrow is Opt-Out Day!

[Bluntskaters]

1. pause

2 .press 9

3. press play

4. enjoy

[2misterA]

@Bluntskaters 4th doesent work!

[saphuras1122]

your brilliant. Subscribe!

[tweety9102]

''MMM. Buh bam bams '' Nice . . .

[osiris6669]

opt out and go over to the pat down with a boner  XD

[MattYonTube]

skyline is shit

[jolow2]

"If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy." -James Madison

[101000102]

Now having seen the "Pat Downs" that the TSA Agents conduct I understand the problem. This is the same procedure that the police use to check suspects. Unless your Black, this situation is completely foreign to you. I don't know whether to be happy that America has to suffer through this or be upset that I am not bothered by it because if safety is the ultimate goal then "Go for it".

[plektrus]

I think this guy is booring. Shaycarl is funnier.

[gunslinger713]

I'm going to the airport and taking some Viagra and make them search me

[lukassstyyy]

@EvilGeniusHell Claro, es para bloquear publicidades e imagenes. Incluso hay una version para chrome. Es super facil usarlo, se llama ad block

[nerzulos]

SHUT THE FUCK UP

[PatomBomb]

solution: get a chair. work out enough so you can lift your own weight. sit on the chair and lift. enjoy infinite flight!

u jelly groundfags?

[AnnoDomini010]

Phil, please try to make your videos atleast more intresting to watch.

Its the same context everytime.