Computer illiteracy and American Television

[Melotha]

I'm going to create a flash-compatible HTML5 site with CSS and Javascript, see if I can delete system32.

[Silhouette93]

I'll use some metal to create a hammer, see if I can build a skyscraper with it.

[J95X3RNVY]

I'll hack YouTube using MS Paint.

[warpjedi]

Couldn't she just set up a Local LAN Network to defragment the multiplexers?

[Psychotron7x2]

I'd like to create a gooey in her face 

[sentient02970]

While you're at it go ahead and reverse the polarity.

[LithiumZ2]

A gui interface you say

[mimsc00]

I'll create a javascipt function within a jsp using Itunes to find their gps location....

[mtbmikex9]

I'm going to install gentoo to see if I can capture is passwords for the pentagon DNS disco driver ati graphics card.

[hotsonetti]

I'll make a GUI interface network proxy in Quick Basic and trace it back to his integrated PC matrix. That way we can lag his binaries and ping his secret IPp4 adress.

[DomIstKrieg]

Fucking go for it. Knock yourself out.

[udaigupta]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­h

[TheBlueJamie]

Hahahahaha I'll make a gui interface.

[GAKtion64]

this is painful to watch.

[TBustah]

This one would go over most peoples' heads anyway, it's not like she said she was going to use Angry Birds to hack into the Pentagon's computer or something ridiculous like that that EVERYONE would know is baloney.

And I'm sure there are examples from other countries out there.

[JustineBieberxoxo]

@TBustah No examples from other countries.

Look at how they do it in the UK for example: /watch?v=PaMdXjTn9rc

[longbeards100]

"I'm gonna create a linux in GUI and see if I can get his Visual Basic, see if I can backtrace 7 proxies."

[InnerSpaceTravel1]

Just say NO to nitrous oxide at work.

[FrankinKal96]

CBS done goofed.

[wootman77]

I'm gonna say a buncha randomness and walk outa the room.

[Darwyn7]

I like to make all my GUI interfaces in Visual Basic. So I can backtrace IP addresses.

[thirtysilver]

"Don't worry guys. Nobody really knows how computers work anyway." -TV Writers

[Pinesol23]

so she's creating an interface for the interface? and somehow the interface for the interface will allow her to track in IP address

[DarthSinistris]

@Pinesol23 yo, dawg...

[Pinesol23]

I'll create a graphical user interface interface 

[StaticTorch]

I'll create a two headed kitten using photoshop, see if I can check my email

[daivboveri]

i'm going to program the gui first, and then write the code to track the ip address, and then link the gui to the code, and then i'm going to generate output, so i can test if it works, and then i'm going to debug it, and then i'm going to release the beta, so we can get that criminal.

[Oczwap]

@daivboveri It compiles, ship it!

[dynasty11211]

Why use visual basic when as3 is so much better at tracking IP. On second thought, you probably should run some unit tests on that GUI.

[falstoffe]

Wow. Their IT Lab is as no-nonsense as their forensics lab.

[Hickeydog2365]

What does GUI stand for?

Graphical User Interface.

That's like saying ATM machine and PIN number.

*facepalm*

[dylan8495]

Go to that thing called a command line and type " ping....... "

[sayrith]

Instead of that, I can just say

"I will track an IP address with Google"

DONE

[PozestStar]

But visual basic... why would-- I mean, all you have to.... AAAAHHH!!  *head explodes*

[samsam29]

the scriptwriters probably inserted that while laughing their asses off

[crythisbloodforme]

lolz

[Rewgj]

My new ringtone. :)

[CopyNinjalv3]

I'll create a shutdown batch file and see if I can trace the MAC IP bottom-up.

[MasonWorkz]

am I the only one who doesn't pronounce "GUI" as "gooey"

[BlackRaven117]

@MasonWorkz I dont.

[grayswandir47]

Charlie's Diary has an outstanding article titled "Why I hate Star Trek" (Google it) which nails how this crap gets written. "(Ron Moore) described how the writers would just insert "tech" into the scripts whenever they needed to resolve a story or plot line, then they'd have consultants fill in the appropriate words (aka technobabble) later." It's a good explanation of how this crap gets into the scripts.

[RUSRhythmic]

A GUI interface using visual basic to track down the IP address. What in the fucking shit.

[zebedee42]

"I'll put a series of computery-sounding words together into a sentence, see if I can fool the audience into thinking I know what the fuck I'm talking about."

[viralvideoguy1988]

they should have just tried turning it off and on again

[renukgp09]

I just created a human-machine portal using ms office and hacked into her brain. Stole her ideas to build a Death Ray using mushrooms and cannabis and Benadryl brownies!!

[Bracerjack]

I'll create a series of Objects in C++, maybe I could track Dr Evil.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Bracerjack]

What does creating a GUI have ANYTHING to do with tracking an IP Address ?

This is just stupid talks for stupid people.

And it is FUNNY!

[lemonrind]

In all fairness, these were all the computer terms the writers knew.

[TheAmazingAnarchist1]

I'll use a series of if-then statements on fortran to find north korea's nuclear weapons

[SteelTheStoic]

I'll create a flux capacitor using a delorean; see if I can punch Biff Tannon in the nutsack.

[HappyGestapo]

>fap on keyboard

>GOOEY INTERFACE LOLOLOL

[cloudycolacorp]

@HappyGestapo fap on screen for gooey interface. Also youtube cannot into greentext

[ISHYGDDT]

@HappyGestapo

>2011

>Greentexting on Youtube

[CommandoDude]

Maybe she's going to use Visual Basic to enhance the IP Address?

[kurono67]

brb i gonna hack my friend's facebook with mspaint

[snapkin788]

@kurono67 Get there email too with control panel

[DarkTemplarKain]

@kurono67 QUIT FOOLING AROUND MAN! everyone knows you need solitaire to do that!

[ks072]

"I'll make a gooey interface."

Well, good luck cleaning it up.

[MisterHeroman]

I'll creat a gooey interface to see if I can get an eye pee address.

[TheVallone]

"I spout out some bullshit to pretend I know how to do my job"

[MirkwOodElf89]

hahahahahahahahahahaha... made my day. I mean wtf woman?

[meric2]

We need to find Mr. Reeds IP address. I'll follow our CAT3 cable to the heart of the internet. I'll ask around for it there.

[meric2]

We need to find Reed Garrett's blog. I'll make a computer out of a microwave and a toaster, then design a search engine on it that can look up keywords like Reed Garetts blog. I'll write all the code down on a piece of napkin, then design some sort of notepad on this OS I made.

[McVaio]

Still, nice tits.

[9AtNight]

Alright troops, listen up! I'll take the M.A.T.R.I.X gunship down low over the firewall. You'll repel down using CAT6 cable, and then I want you to split up into two man teams, each of which will be assigned a keyboard. The rest of you log in to Second Life and run away from the security guards' avatars to create a diversion. Once we've hacked all their IPs, we'll board their IRC ships and sail away undetected.

Any questions?

[Jabberwockybird]

Lt. Dan!

[ohboyhey2k4]

il use my mousepad to track his ip

[AwesomeRants]

I never get tired of watching this.

[jbestell]

I'm betting that the writer asked a computer literate friend, who sandbagged him with a nerd sense of humor

[TheEpisteme]

A gui interface, you say? Surely that will solve the mystery.

[kakashi76767]

"I'll use the google to find out how people in real life track IP addresses. That way I won't sound like dickbag when i write this episode".

[kionay]

a GUI interface in visual basic

NAWWWWWW

[stewie274]

Hahahaha when I clicked on this video, I had a strong feeling it would be this scene! Because I'm a CS major and recently learned about how to make GUI's in Java during the time I saw this, I instantly realized how illiterate that sounded. She basically said that she'll create an interactive window in order to get an IP address. In other words, she's gonna make a computer program entirely from scratch lol.

[AuroraChama]

IT'S IN REAL FUCKING TIME.

As opposed to fake time, which is what you usually have when you think you have time to spare.

[tanukihat]

I'll make a newsletter in Word and see if I can find his domain name.

[oTechPortal]

herpaderpaderpaherpaderpaherpa­derpaherpaderpa

I want to punch the creator of that show in the dick.

[TheCeejReturns]

If you're going to watch any shows involving computer technology without cringing, you have to suspend your disbelief and assume that, in their alternate world, technology has advanced in a completely different fashion.

[TheSenorFuerte]

At least she knows that you can use VB to make a GUI interface, although it seems like a round about way to find an IP address.

[EchelonWeb]

I'll need a few weeks to reverse engineer ubuntu, see if there's any clues in the source code

[TheSmilingCreeper]

"I'll try and create a fake passport in command prompt so I can get to Mexico and see my second family."

[BloodyBay]

And while you guys are doing all that, I'll create an interstellar ethernet transmitter from a boombox and a pile of Goodwill donations, use a microwave oven to set the transmitter to an FTL...I mean, a FuTiLe frequency, and see if I can call E.T. back to Earth.

[Andriykobin]

I'll draw a picture in paint and try to backtrace his e-mails.

[KioskHacking]

This needs to be a meme...now.

[gh3860]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOL

[lungpatrol]

I'll create a program in Notepad, see if I can backtrace his hard drive.

[Terjay]

The IRC definition from Numbers is still the greatest thing ever. Jesus fucking Christ.

[MrAnatamize]

I'll make a walrus out of cheese and ham. see if i can get it to do a backflip.

[Cypeq]

I'll make hair drier from 2 stones and a stick and see if i can launch manned mission to the moon.

[zweisteinJ]

lol epic fail

[fuunguus]

GUI interface? Track, and IP? What the fuck.

[xATH3NA]

@fuunguus >_>

[pixartist]

I'll create windows batch file to see what he had for breakfast

[FluffyBunniesOnFire]

I'll create an applet in IRC, see if I can access his AdultFriendFinder history.

[Thunderwolf666]

@FluffyBunniesOnFire This comment deserves a fucking site all on its own.

[KevServo]

You think that was bad, later in this same episode there's a chase scene in Second Life.

[hourfour4]

@KevServo You mean this chase scene?

watch?v=dRJY-FwUMdc

[Cypeq]

@KevServo no shit! haha xd

[derpguyjohn]

You need those GUIs to track IPs, because I mean, doing it through a console, that'd just be silly.

It's also a damn shame that you can't save interfaces and store them for later, but instead have to create them every time for one specific purpose. Maybe in the future..

[captainjaster1]

You dawg, we heard you like interfaces...

[creamterror]

Even the actress cringes while saying that.

[samuraiBSD]

Oh, god...I kind of wish CSI would just give it up already.

[Excalibur0551]

This could become a new meme...

[gautev]

there is so much fail..

[limbicD]

OK, i will create a GUI-IPTracker in Autocad via ICQ and run it thruough the PSU and fax it over to the HD. Give me 2-3 hours, tops

[xKanden15x]

Gooey interface!

[TheVideoVector]

Graphical User Interface Interface..... really.......

[SaiyanKirby]

@TheVideoVector Haha, I was about to comment about that but saw yours.

[qwertzy121212]

@TheVideoVector  A mouse, maybe?

[TheVideoVector]

XD VB...OH the LAWLS

[Daivis2006]

LOOOL

[AgentCROCODILE]

I will use Solitaire to get a visual representation of his IP address.

[mogbasterd]

I wonder if the snakes did this on purpose to get some air time with people who are too clever to watch this drivel.

[VacLateralus]

...& after she tracked the guy's IP address with the VB 6.0 GUI, she went to his house and killed him using Windows Minesweeper... Th-th-th-that's all folks!

[Hibba42]

It's kind of funny, when before I watched the video I expected one of the characters to mispronounce a computer term. I didn't really get it as I watched it (was paying more attention to pronunciation instead of what was actually being said). After reading the comments, it hit me lol.

[tfkel]

@Hibba42 hurr

[goatfishbrain]

Oh no!!! she did not say what color the ip address will be..

[bobwhang]

a general user interface...interface? Does she also use the automated teller machine machine?

[keysofanxiety]

@bobwhang Yeah, apart from it's a "graphical" user interface, not "general". ;D

[thumbwar23]

@bobwhang She's going to create an ATM machine using a listing on craigslist, to see if anyone realizes she doesn't actually know anything about computers.

[wasted6]

gui all over yo face bitch

[WinstonFisher]

Oh shit! Was that online chat in real time?

[BerryJoy]

bad television. bad!

[MNC117]

graphical user interface interface

[FOUADMKHAN]

SHE CARES ABOUT THE END USER GODDAMMIT!!!!

[dieHeeresschar]

GUI interface, huh? She wants to sound good to her bosses because she's going to ask them for references when she applies to the CIA agency.

[Sabiancym]

I won't be able to get the IP address traced, but It'll have the sweet aero effect from windows.

[xavski]

LoL @ the oblivious. My wife after seeing this just said..."yeah and??, She's gonna track the website"

bless her!

[Foxx1981]

I'll hit on that girl by miming, see if I can't get my dead dog neutered...

[SuiGen3ris]

It's ok lady, ill do a /whois on the guy, save you the trouble of making that "GUI interface".

[maglight117]

@SuiGen3ris Also don't forget to nmap traceroute him.

[authommo]

I LOLed.

[MrCHISOL]

[...] If it's via a mobile connection (like I think it's here) you need to find the correct phone/modem for the ip and then trace that using cell towers and triangulation.

It might seem easy, but I'd guess that's pretty hard. The data could go through a gateway, which could be the owner of the ip, then they need to find the right ip/id behind the gateway.

If the phone has public ip, they still need to translate it/or the MAC) to an account/phonenumber that they then can trace..

[MrCHISOL]

[..]

3. It's a website! To get the ip of the "poster" you need some kind of access to that server, to check logs etc, and hopefully get an ip..

4. If you get the correct ip, it's still pretty hard to trace to a physical location. If it's an dynamic ip it can be pretty hard to track to a location (at least not done quickly), if it's an static, its a bit easier, but you probably need a "subpoena" or something alike to get the info.. [...]

[MrCHISOL]

First: Yeah, the line is wrong in so many ways (as usual they prob. took same worlds that sounded cool and put them together). But I must say that some of the comments that try to trash this fails even worse.

1. It's a webside! If you do a trace/reverse lookup/whois/whatever you get to the webserver, not to the computer that submits the posts.

2. "Just look at the source code". What good would that do? If I look at the source of this page I don't get ips etc of the users who posted here. right?

[somewhitekid3]

Quick let me drag and drop radio buttons on a window and maybe we can play connect the dots!

[mrjustin5]

oh my god. Abysmal. They used some sort of "Random Bullshit Generator" with a computer jargon library selected. Ridiculous.

[faustolg]

Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Monster FAIL... FAIL... FAIL...

[flasher555]

I've got to stop playing this, I'm all out of clean underwear.

I just poop every time I see the expression and urgency of the 1337 gal with VB skills.

[ferretspy440]

1.You don't need a GUI, a terminal program will give the same amount of information

2.GUI interface = graphical user interface interface

3.Ever heard of whois?

4.Rofl, of all things, why visual basic?

5.For the love of god why are you making a program for this?! You're looking at a webpage for the love of god you can look at the source code...

Fuck I hate television.

[hardstyle905]

@ferretspy440 Haha!

[sw204me]

@ferretspy440 LoL, well said.

[Fieryone233]

@ferretspy440 Visual Basic because on the inside she's a tortured soul and wants to die.

Or maybe that's just how I felt while I was learning it.

[1ofmeful]

AND WHY GUI INTERFACE! THAT'S SAYING GRAPHICAL USER INTERFACE INTERFACE!

[1ofmeful]

What the fuck? You don't build GUI's ( = graphical user interface) with fucking visual BASIC! Anyone heard of the whois command? takes 2 fucking seconds!

[TheAlienSpoon]

Mwahaha ah this never gets old!

"omg he's editing teh internet *live*!! Man we're so screwed... Come on people, fire up the VB wizards, cause these IP addresses aren't gonna track themsleves! Oh wait, they do... Cause that's what DNS are for!"

[p00pindas00p]

I'll run around babbling and flailing my arms in an attempt to summon the rain gods. I'll flap my arms and hope to fly to somewhere where retards are worshipped. I'll put the cat in the washing machine and create sweet, sweet music.

[BomaBoi]

Ill be a dumbass and take a leap of faith, ask you guys for help and tell me kindly what the fuck she said?

[nickelpro1]

@BomaBoi

She's saying that she's going to build a massive graphical interface (GUI), using tools that were not meant to be used that way (Visual BASIC), to accomplish a task that a single command (/whois) would accomplish in 5 seconds

[BomaBoi]

@nickelpro1 =D why thank you kind sir. Now I can confidently laugh at this woman's epic fail. Hahahahahaha

[xhacker]

I'll build a car using other scrap cars, see if I can get a radio working here...

[Lucanos]

"I'll make a presentation in Powerpoint, you'll see his IP address on slide 3."

[TheItchyFetus]

she's lying, she actually really wants to get back to her game of gorillas on Qbasic.

[uberd0gAlpha]

"I'll draw a stickman in mspaint, see if he can tell us wtf is going on here"

[luketorpedo]

The first time I was like... eh? But everytime I watch it this gets funnier.

I remember visual basic when I was a kid lol. Creating a "Gooey" interface is about all its good for.

Unless she plans on adding in an object that tracks IP addresses, and then shes going to make a fancy interface with moving things and animation. Because they can't possibly use a computer on CSI without it.

[AEigner]

@luketorpedo Don't forget the insanely huge fonts and pointless "deedledeedle" noise while the computer works.

[Hariuka]

I bet you all that for anyone who seriously watches CSI... they thought this was bombsauce... but for us it was utterly retarded.... Since the core demographic of CSI is old people....

I asked my gma on what she thought MSpaint was... she thought it was a way to hack into the internet.

[RunescapeIRLWildy]

"I'll go make something that looks nice and then use it's looks to directly targets someone's internet protocol"

[oddbodjr1]

"I'll try and start a fire using matches, and discover the origin of the universe."

[TledgEs]

lmao

she needs to make a GUI interface?...

why would she create an entire program from scratch in visual basic to track an ip address,

oh right because thats the only way and they're in a rush XD

[AgentJoelMontgomery]

G. U. I.

Not gooey.

Also, Visual Basic IS a gui, so wtf

[karry299]

@AgentJoelMontgomery

Hey cmon, real coders all pronounce it "gooey". Just like all the USians are too fucking lazy to flap their lips and say "autumn", and invented this "fall" instead.

[Dartwa]

@AgentJoelMontgomery Visual Basic is a GUI, but you can develop GUI's using it :P

[dnothstylez]

"I'll create a Flowchart chart in MS Paint to see if I can track the perp's sexual orientation."

[Battl3Cry]

Next time on CSI: "We gotta stop this criminal! I'll try to find out his identity by using Facebook." 

[poppotaku]

@Battl3Cry that's actually more probable. =/.

[Hariuka]

@Battl3Cry That has happened.... I remember it happening once.

[D3mi4n]

This made my day

[emanj0078164]

so she can make fun pictures?

[dadatina]

haghafhsdagfgadgadbfdsgadgad

[Chubigans]

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[jimsmith59]

HAHAHA!