Hm, as usual I like your work, Jay. However the first verse could do with some minor revision as - while it makes sense - the general tone's following the flow of words doesn't necessarily flow in my mind. But, that's just my two cents, really. You're a phenomenal singer, man!
@ilpredes I think the lyrics can remain the same if you reviewed the tone of your voice for the last parts of the verses. You generally start out very strong and the last half of the lines fall short. "She yearns for something more, but she's not too sure," The first half follows the previous structure very well but then the second half falls short of the original structure. Not sure if it's just me, though. xD
:)
SunshineSweetie22 3 months ago
she's our wonderwall :)
dantesilv 3 months ago
Hm, as usual I like your work, Jay. However the first verse could do with some minor revision as - while it makes sense - the general tone's following the flow of words doesn't necessarily flow in my mind. But, that's just my two cents, really. You're a phenomenal singer, man!
Shugo5775 3 months ago
@Shugo5775 Thanks man, could you expand on that =D Appreciate the feedback. Are you talking about the lyrics or the way I'm singing it?
ilpredes 3 months ago
@ilpredes I think the lyrics can remain the same if you reviewed the tone of your voice for the last parts of the verses. You generally start out very strong and the last half of the lines fall short. "She yearns for something more, but she's not too sure," The first half follows the previous structure very well but then the second half falls short of the original structure. Not sure if it's just me, though. xD
Shugo5775 3 months ago
Amazing
Tlidnr 3 months ago