sweety im 35 years old and i have been thru the same things you have been. i got pregnant at 15 and had a set of twins. I was raising them on my own. I managed and survived. I know that at this moment in your life things dont feel like they will get better, but they do. You have t take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. my twins are now 19 and in college and I just am so blessed. get your own and futher ur education. think about u and ur children. good luck
you are like a lot of young girls..you need to take the necessary steps to at least get correct information. call ur local police dept or court system and talk to a victim advocate (its free information) about your parental rights..Im not saying leave im simply saying be intelligently informed..he can not take your kids ..PERIOD..
@epd0126 I know he can't. I got the answers I needed. already spoke with an officer got paperwork and some numbers I would need in case. I been doing what I need to for my kids, doing a lot of research and talking to a lot of people so that way I know in case anything happens.
I think all women have the same stories to tell. Myself included. except that i don't have children yet, thank God. I'm thinking about my relationship really well before i have any kids for him. cuz as long as u have a child for someone you'll always be connected to them in some way.
@therapeutics23 That's what I been thinking about.. But now its too late whether we stay together or not we will always have to deal with one another. That's what I tell everyone one I know please dont get married until you really know him well, Dont have kids with someone to try to make the relationship work because nothing will change.
I know this comment is late but for future reference In order for your husband to take your children away he has to proof that you are unfit to have them and you look far from it, keep a diary and document what goes on in your daily life. Another thing by law like it or not he has to support your kids, it's not up to him whether he wants to or not.
That's what I told him and I keep telling him that if he's trying to keep me with him that's not the way to do it. He knows he cant take them from me, I do everything for them its time he start acting like a father and just help me out when needed.
I know how you feel. My husband and I were not the same after I had Grant. We didn't talk like we used to or have fun like we used to. We argued a lot.
My husband doesn't help out much either. I'm used to it now, but in the beginning I remember really feeling like I needed his help. He works hard and goes to school, so when he comes home he just want to watch tv and do homework. I've come to accept this, because my life is just so much easier when we do get along
We are still arguing everyday. its to the point that my stuff is packed, I was ready to leave to my moms but now there's problems with my brother and him thinking that no one wants to help me but are quick to help me out, so i'm going to see if i get a job, I dont want to be with him anymore. he comes home to mess with laptops and xboxs and does things for other people but cant seem to help me out with the kids or with the house work. he is now sleeping in the living room.
I have been married for 22 yrs..and boy~there have been many times I just wanted out of this marriage seriously..I have the opposite problem really he was there for me alot when my kids were young but now that they have grown 21,15,10 and is seldome here to help with anything except financially..But as for husband responsibities Im basically single parent living with him..I often think what would life have been if I would have left before now...DONT wait thinking he will change..THEY dont..
i stayed with my husband for way too long, keeping on hoping that he would change, but he never did.
I spent years being unhappy and he spent those same years mistreating me and making me unhappy...eventually i had to leave to keep my sanity...and now, 16 years later i am happily re-married and happier now than i have ever been
if i had my time over again i would have left him way sooner than i did
thats how i feel like i'm only in this marriage for the sake of the kids because i keep thinking about them and wanting them to wake up to both parents but i'm unhappy. and its been 3 years too long with the same bs.
Oh my gosh girl, soo sorry to hear that you are going through that in your marriage, you deserve better than that hun! I hope things get better for you but it doesnt sound like things are going to change with him, you may have to move on without him. He should be helping you out more with your kids, if my man ever treated me that way his ass would get kicked to the curb! If you need to talk more on a one on one basis let me know, im here!
that's where its leading. we just argue but since I been feeling like this, he is starting to help me out a little more with the kids and he's is actually cooking on his days off and washes dishes from time to time
I'm not going to get too excited yet because this is what he does. once i mention i want out of the relationship he changes for a month or two and goes back to not doing anything
How long did you deal with your oldest son's father? It's going on 3 years of the same shit. he doesnt change. My body is tired already I can't do this alone. Well I can and will if I do become a single mom but being that he's home with me during the day he should help me out. I feel like a single mom. My ass is looking into North Carolina it's so cheap over there. I found a 2 bedroom 2 bath townhouse at 1100 sq ft for 475 a month. that's great.
He dumped me when I was 4mnts pregnant, and then I had to work as a fucking bartender while I was prego, he came UP TO MY WORK with a stripper ass hoe, while I was 7mnts preg. He was a fucking BITCH, if I seen his ass right now I would split his head open. When I met my husband, he tried to get me back..AS IF
He then refused to sign over his parental rights, WHY IDON"T KNOW, my husband has been my son's DAD since he was a year old, my oldest dosen't even know that my husband isn't his real father...I hate that bastard.
Wow that's so story. That was fucked up. can't no one say single moms cant make it. working as a bartender and pregnant, that's being a strong woman. I wish I had guts like you, Hopefully you will pass that on to me.
That's what I asked him. and I told him not to play with me because I will take him to court and make it so that there's a third party whenever he wants to see his kids. I also told him not to try me because I'll lay everything out on the table and expo his family for what they are addicts so that he or his family can't come near my kids. He had the nerve to tell me to go to my moms for a month, I know once I leave I'm not coming back and i'm damn sure not going to leave him with everything.
next day he has off, take off on his ass all day, let him see how much work YOU DO!
I tell you some men think that mom's don't "work" and I know for a fact that nothing is harder than staying at home taking care of the kids and the house.
Let him do it for day.
Don't let him threathen you...I don't know your husband, and I don't want to say this, but from what you said he sounds like he is an ass!!
He is an ass. after me bitching about him not helping me all day yesterday he goes and does the samething today. I got no sleep and he still doesnt understand or want to help me. I trashed the apartment in anger and told him I wasn't going to clean up shit. He had the nerve to go to bed at 5:30 in the morning playing video games all night, what kind of shit is that? I shouldn't have to be stressed out or in tears because I can't handle all the work alone plus the kids.
My advice to you is sit down and communicate exactly how you feel and what you want (without arguing or yelling). Go out just the 2 of you and have a nice dinner-date or something. Hope that helps :)
I wish we would be able to do that, he doesnt take me out and most of the time when we try to sit and talk we end up screaming at each other because he doesnt see anything wrong with the way things are going.
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othaminjaresjdl 10 months ago
sweety im 35 years old and i have been thru the same things you have been. i got pregnant at 15 and had a set of twins. I was raising them on my own. I managed and survived. I know that at this moment in your life things dont feel like they will get better, but they do. You have t take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. my twins are now 19 and in college and I just am so blessed. get your own and futher ur education. think about u and ur children. good luck
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monicagdfetre 1 year ago
you are like a lot of young girls..you need to take the necessary steps to at least get correct information. call ur local police dept or court system and talk to a victim advocate (its free information) about your parental rights..Im not saying leave im simply saying be intelligently informed..he can not take your kids ..PERIOD..
epd0126 1 year ago
@epd0126 I know he can't. I got the answers I needed. already spoke with an officer got paperwork and some numbers I would need in case. I been doing what I need to for my kids, doing a lot of research and talking to a lot of people so that way I know in case anything happens.
LadeeSlimster 1 year ago
@epd0126 Thanks!
LadeeSlimster 1 year ago
I think all women have the same stories to tell. Myself included. except that i don't have children yet, thank God. I'm thinking about my relationship really well before i have any kids for him. cuz as long as u have a child for someone you'll always be connected to them in some way.
therapeutics23 1 year ago
@therapeutics23 That's what I been thinking about.. But now its too late whether we stay together or not we will always have to deal with one another. That's what I tell everyone one I know please dont get married until you really know him well, Dont have kids with someone to try to make the relationship work because nothing will change.
LadeeSlimster 1 year ago
I know this comment is late but for future reference In order for your husband to take your children away he has to proof that you are unfit to have them and you look far from it, keep a diary and document what goes on in your daily life. Another thing by law like it or not he has to support your kids, it's not up to him whether he wants to or not.
Thefiftieschick1 2 years ago
That's what I told him and I keep telling him that if he's trying to keep me with him that's not the way to do it. He knows he cant take them from me, I do everything for them its time he start acting like a father and just help me out when needed.
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago
@LadeeSlimster PLEEEEZE DONT DO IT !!!!HOPE YOU HAVENT YET
uckhigh 1 year ago
I know how u feel
It got so bad I had to leave my boyfriend he never did anything he didnt cook clean he dint happy with my little girl if u wanna talk im here for you
BrookeAllen1983 2 years ago
I know how you feel. My husband and I were not the same after I had Grant. We didn't talk like we used to or have fun like we used to. We argued a lot.
My husband doesn't help out much either. I'm used to it now, but in the beginning I remember really feeling like I needed his help. He works hard and goes to school, so when he comes home he just want to watch tv and do homework. I've come to accept this, because my life is just so much easier when we do get along
lcp616 2 years ago
We are still arguing everyday. its to the point that my stuff is packed, I was ready to leave to my moms but now there's problems with my brother and him thinking that no one wants to help me but are quick to help me out, so i'm going to see if i get a job, I dont want to be with him anymore. he comes home to mess with laptops and xboxs and does things for other people but cant seem to help me out with the kids or with the house work. he is now sleeping in the living room.
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago
I have been married for 22 yrs..and boy~there have been many times I just wanted out of this marriage seriously..I have the opposite problem really he was there for me alot when my kids were young but now that they have grown 21,15,10 and is seldome here to help with anything except financially..But as for husband responsibities Im basically single parent living with him..I often think what would life have been if I would have left before now...DONT wait thinking he will change..THEY dont..
Julsinmaine101 2 years ago
I'm going to take this advice and when i'm ready financially i'll think about what you have said.
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago
Don't make the mistake i made.
i stayed with my husband for way too long, keeping on hoping that he would change, but he never did.
I spent years being unhappy and he spent those same years mistreating me and making me unhappy...eventually i had to leave to keep my sanity...and now, 16 years later i am happily re-married and happier now than i have ever been
if i had my time over again i would have left him way sooner than i did
twish1999 2 years ago
thats how i feel like i'm only in this marriage for the sake of the kids because i keep thinking about them and wanting them to wake up to both parents but i'm unhappy. and its been 3 years too long with the same bs.
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago
Hey girl. I am sorry what you are going through and you will be strong. Yeah some men are assholes. You do deserve better and to be treated better.
celesteglitter 2 years ago
I know and if i was working i wouldn't be with him right now.
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago
Oh my gosh girl, soo sorry to hear that you are going through that in your marriage, you deserve better than that hun! I hope things get better for you but it doesnt sound like things are going to change with him, you may have to move on without him. He should be helping you out more with your kids, if my man ever treated me that way his ass would get kicked to the curb! If you need to talk more on a one on one basis let me know, im here!
b1zmyi34 2 years ago
that's where its leading. we just argue but since I been feeling like this, he is starting to help me out a little more with the kids and he's is actually cooking on his days off and washes dishes from time to time
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago
Im happy to hear that things are getting better :)
b1zmyi34 2 years ago
I'm not going to get too excited yet because this is what he does. once i mention i want out of the relationship he changes for a month or two and goes back to not doing anything
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago
he needs to take your feelings to heart and make a permanent change. I hope he takes you serious this time cause you dont deserve to live like that
b1zmyi34 2 years ago
I went through some major shit, with my oldest son's father..and I didnt' know how strong I really was until I had to be strong, fuck him.
Im sorry but you should not have to deal with that crap!
ninjajessie1 2 years ago
How long did you deal with your oldest son's father? It's going on 3 years of the same shit. he doesnt change. My body is tired already I can't do this alone. Well I can and will if I do become a single mom but being that he's home with me during the day he should help me out. I feel like a single mom. My ass is looking into North Carolina it's so cheap over there. I found a 2 bedroom 2 bath townhouse at 1100 sq ft for 475 a month. that's great.
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago
He dumped me when I was 4mnts pregnant, and then I had to work as a fucking bartender while I was prego, he came UP TO MY WORK with a stripper ass hoe, while I was 7mnts preg. He was a fucking BITCH, if I seen his ass right now I would split his head open. When I met my husband, he tried to get me back..AS IF
ninjajessie1 2 years ago
Oh We were together for 2yrs before I got prego.
He also has 3other kids by 3 other women, who he also doesn't take fuckng care of.
BUT THAT OKAY I put a felony warrant out on his punk ass..
Oh man talkign about him pisses me off.
ninjajessie1 2 years ago
CONT..
He then refused to sign over his parental rights, WHY IDON"T KNOW, my husband has been my son's DAD since he was a year old, my oldest dosen't even know that my husband isn't his real father...I hate that bastard.
ninjajessie1 2 years ago
Wow that's so story. That was fucked up. can't no one say single moms cant make it. working as a bartender and pregnant, that's being a strong woman. I wish I had guts like you, Hopefully you will pass that on to me.
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago
How is he going to take the kids, if he doesn't help you? He will be begging to come back..
Im thinking and praying things will turn out good for you.
ninjajessie1 2 years ago
That's what I asked him. and I told him not to play with me because I will take him to court and make it so that there's a third party whenever he wants to see his kids. I also told him not to try me because I'll lay everything out on the table and expo his family for what they are addicts so that he or his family can't come near my kids. He had the nerve to tell me to go to my moms for a month, I know once I leave I'm not coming back and i'm damn sure not going to leave him with everything.
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago
Girl,
next day he has off, take off on his ass all day, let him see how much work YOU DO!
I tell you some men think that mom's don't "work" and I know for a fact that nothing is harder than staying at home taking care of the kids and the house.
Let him do it for day.
Don't let him threathen you...I don't know your husband, and I don't want to say this, but from what you said he sounds like he is an ass!!
OMG you are so strong girl!!!!!
ninjajessie1 2 years ago
He is an ass. after me bitching about him not helping me all day yesterday he goes and does the samething today. I got no sleep and he still doesnt understand or want to help me. I trashed the apartment in anger and told him I wasn't going to clean up shit. He had the nerve to go to bed at 5:30 in the morning playing video games all night, what kind of shit is that? I shouldn't have to be stressed out or in tears because I can't handle all the work alone plus the kids.
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago
My advice to you is sit down and communicate exactly how you feel and what you want (without arguing or yelling). Go out just the 2 of you and have a nice dinner-date or something. Hope that helps :)
FamilyOfThreeNow 2 years ago
I wish we would be able to do that, he doesnt take me out and most of the time when we try to sit and talk we end up screaming at each other because he doesnt see anything wrong with the way things are going.
LadeeSlimster 2 years ago