Even though I may have Aspergers, I believe the plausible explanations to why I am quiet is because 1) you haven't talk to me 2) you're not interesting and 3) you're not familiar. Why not? I get in a conversation really well if I know or been talked to.
I was wondering if you were referring to introversion (quiet, shy, mentally occupied observer) or extroversion (loud, bold, life of the party [often as distraction from discomfort], uninvited social contributor when miscalculating social cueues.) I sense each aspie tends to pendulum with assessed environments. I have a good memory with many mental scripts; it depends on the role chosen. I'm a quiet follower, yet a loud leader. My 'teacher' role will keep control- what I know, I know very well.
We're embarassed of ourselves. We're tired of rejection. We're sick of being labeld as a disability. We keep quiet, we hide. Scared to reach out, in fear of finding answers we don't like. We're exhausted, we're tired. Hiding behind sarcasim. Not being able to find words to express how we feel. A language of babble nobody understands we're never heard. A rare breed of aliens fighting to be normal. Doing all that we can to blend in unseen.
One lesson I have learned is that alot of people love to talk about themselves.. So ask questions just general ones where do you work? do you enjoy it? do you live far from here? how was your weekend/week? when they answer the questions you can tell alot about the type of person they are by their answers in alot of cases if they like you as a person it makes them happy. Practising your answers would most likely be a good idea too because the questions are asked back in a two way conversation.
I'm a very quiet 'aspie' I think because in the past I've said wrong things and I am, like you said, afraid to say something wrong. Though lately, I've been trying to talk more even if I am not sure whether or not it is right. I'm trying to do this because I think by seeing reactions from people, I'll be able to learn what is right and wrong to say
I'm exactly the same. I often come up with stuff which is much worse than "you look like a pineapple"... and interrupt conversations and say things which are irrelevant or pointless and often destroy the whole thing! And I'm really loud about it, and yeah, I only realise what I've said afterwards. I love your videos. :)
A friend of mine posted about "skeletons in the closet". I thought there were dead bodies in her closet hanging on a hanger like clothes. I have heard of this expression before because I asked what it meant. I think it is a rather morbid expression. I posted back and told I don't have bodies in my closet, I have an old Furby. She thought it was funny and laughed. Why? Emotions are too intangible. It's easier to understand my pets.
I'm a quiet aspie. I agree with lindseywong919. I usually don't speak up in conversations unless I have a question. Speaking actually takes away from my ability to process and generate new understanding in the moment. I've also noticed that in the rare time when I feel pressure to socialize I say stupid things because, well, you're not really talking about anything of substance. It's hard to do small talk while ignoring the superficial aspect of it I guess.
I think the downside of being a quiet aspie is that people assume that your being aloof, standoffish deliberately and thats often not the case. I have things to say but as a (mostly) quiet aspie I find the timing awkward to input that comment or I dont know what to say. People just assume your being a snob.
@lindseywong919 I'm with you, lindseywong919! On a one to one conversation, I can talk for ages (or at least, listen appropriately and keep the conversation going. Put me in a group of 4 and I become a dumb mute. I am often thought of as being stand-offish and aloof, although I am really neither.
@AspergersGirl,, yes , i'm a loud Aspie,, and i think you should make sure what you say IS offensive before saying it. its only words - people can choose to ignore them or not, this political-correctness has gone way too far really. people shouldn't behave like babies who basically cry that someone said a fukin' word. PEACE-OUT :D
You and i aré very much alike! I instantly recognized myself in your experiences. I butt in constantly, even in mid sentence with someone speaking to me. It feels awful because i catch myself too late the majority of the time. I also ramble on, well after my audience has checked out, even when i know they have. I often assume the role of the kooky guy in the room due to these difficulties, But i am becoming slightly better over the years at catching myself. Im glad Im not alone.
I try to give a disclaimer if I am not sure if it's a stupid comment like "Um, please forgive me, I am not sure if this is going to come out right, or sound silly or odd BUT.." then I will say what's on my mind.
The quality of my life has improved dramatically since I stopped giving a crap about what people think. Social encounters, particularly groups, are very draining when you analyze everything you want to say while trying to follow the conversation. NT's, in many cases, like to read between the lines and are more accepting of a subtle insult than a direct observation even when it's not meant as an insult. The direct nature of AS language is what gets us in trouble more than the actual words we use.
I find that I talk a lot when I'm speaking about one of my special interests, or if I ask a friend why they act a certain way, what they mean when they say something,, etc. When it comes to thoughts I have of other people though, I've learned not to say anything mostly because I'm unsure what they are thinking and how they will acknowledge and react to what I say. I'm also quiet because the majority of conversations do not interest me, it is the stuff that I'm interested in that I talk about.
Quiet and shy. It's better expressing online. I have been on the radio before which you have to speak up but whenever I'm with others I tend to shut down.
By the way, AspergersGirl, I like your videos and think you're very entertaining. You have a warm and funny personality and I hope the people you work with appreciate it.
(con't) Now though, I am in grad school and it is expected that I'll contribute in and out of class. This has loosened me up in general. I find myself talking over people, which I sometimes feel I have to if I want to contribute, or I'll lose interest in what I was going to say, or hesitate too long and miss my chance. I've slipped into talkinga about myself too much, and revealing my opinions. The feedback is clearly negative. It's what got me looking into diagnoses & led me to ASD.
(con't) As a child, I started out loud and opinionated, which brought attention that eventually led to being bullied. By HS though, the bullying had subsided and I got loud again. Was rather known for having contrarian opinions and a willingness to share them, and got a degree of acceptance for it. At college though, my academic insecurity took over and I all but stopped having opinions. Now I have fairly well-defined ones, but mostly keep silent to avoid negative social consequences.
Well, I am very recently self-diagnosed, though I do intend to be evaluated because it drives me nuts when people self-diagnose and make changes in their lives without a valid diagnosis. Learning that everyone with autism spectrum disorders isn't good at math or fascinated by numbers is what allowed me to look at other factors and realize how much they apply to me.
I have been both loud and quiet at different times in my life, and as an adult have struggled with knowing which way to go.
Eh, I wouldn't worry too much about that. I mean, if what you wanna say is super offensive don't say it or change the wording to make it sound a little nicer. If what you wanna say just makes "normal people" offended (without the word super involved), don't even care. Normal people say some of the stupidest things I've heard ON PURPOSE. If they have a problem with what we do and say they can go fuck themselves.
I say really silly things and make random noises a lot. (When I'm at home.) It's fun! x] I don't see anything wrong with saying "Where's my leg!?" or "The Great Wall is dental floss!" Hey who knows, it may even brighten someone's day and make tham laugh. :]
Second part of the first comment. They poke fun at me and just put me down....although they say they are joking and to not take things so hard (yea...live in my brain and let me see you not take it so hard.) I also have them blocked on my facebook from seeing statuses because of how they react and act towards me. :/
This is a 2 part comment...stupid character restrictions. I am in the middle. I am quiet when in a crowd of people (which isn't often, I do not like crowds) but if I am used to a place or with family I tend to be loud. I have also learned with my boyfriend's family to be quiet because of how they react towards me.
Saying someone looks like a pineapple isn't silly at all, you'r just giving your opinion in a funny way...
You definitely need to have more confidence, I think aspergus is just a name they give to people with unique personalities but it's mainly due to their environmental experiences growing up, that's all... :0)
I've lost track of how many times I've came out with stupid and offensive comments. One day I was sitting at a table with about 5 people and I was thinking about this Australian film I saw called Bad Boy Bubby and one bit a guy shouts out of a car "get off the fuckin road ya grimy cunt". That was going through my head so I just decided to come out with it, I said that sentence in an Australian accent. Everyone was offended lol.
"you look like a pineapple" hahaha!! The way I see it, although I should be cautious about what I say so as not to offend people, its everyones responsibility to patch up their vulnerabilities. Being offended by words is a vulnerability.
I used to talk non stop and at the wrong time and making silly comments too:D but now I've become extremely self concious:( and I'm quiet most of the time, not because I don't feel like talking, but it's because I'm afraid of talking:(
I'm the loudest aspie ever, I PURPOSEFULLY say the wrong thing at the wrong time cause it's freaking hilarious, especially around strangers. I get bored and some really stupid line pops into my head and I yell it out in order to solicit a hilarious response from a total stranger, some of it's pretty inappropriate, stuff like "SHOW ME YOUR RAPE FACE" and "WATCH OUT FOR MY PENIS" sometimes it takes a physical dimension too, like doing a twatty little dance in the middle of the street
You can usually spot a loud aspie right away because most of the loud aspies I encounter embrace their quirky wierdness as the more quiet ones (like myself) usually go unnoticed because they are insecure about their abnormalities and try to become like everyone else. It's also just how your personalities become, like, some people are going to be naturally be outgoing or shy. And, from what I can tell, it also depends on how severe or moderate your case is to how you deal with things.
I qualify as loud. But I learned that everything u do will always b bad for somebody, its impossible to impress everyone, so i just stopped caring. i just try to gravitate towards ppl who r not overly sensitive and can handle the truth. its too stressful to constantly worry about it.
I'm a loud Aspie, I was the one who sent you an email about my sister. When I was younger, I was much more impulsive, now it is much easier to manage, but I still have time where autopilot kicks in and I make a fool of myself or hurt someone's feelings. The good news is that a lot of times I can't tell how they react...
I am laud, example:when teachaer in class is saying somethig what i think is not correct - i just comment this, i do say bad and rute things to my fellow studnets. it is not my intention to by offensive, sometimes it just turns to be rude to others heheh. I have to controll my self, but then i will start to close my self . I dont know what is better - to sit, be quiet and just look loco - or talk, be me and get punches because of being rude.
My 16 year old son has Aspergers and he is very loud and talks all the time, he will go on and on. He has also became very verbally abusive to me and talks to me at times as if he were my parent. It is so very frustrating.
I'm extremely quiet, which is another way of saying "too scared to contribute or talk at all". Unless it's about science or a topic dear to my interests. Actual conversations are so scary they drain my mental energy superfast. I hate discussions and just ignore anyone I.R.L, with a different opinion. I can't defend my thinking, so I just don't bother at all...
Interesting video perspective. I am in most social situations a very quite Aspie. This makes me totally useless at holding a conversation and I often get upset and annoyed with myself, because I have so much to say and it's just not coming out my mouth! However when I'm around a very close friend or my family and it's a good day or they are talking about harry Potter, I'd consider myself to be a very lound Aspie. by 90% of the time I'm would say I'm very shy and quite.
i am a loud as and get into trouble with it all the time i wish i could keep my mouth shut on my opinions but cant......... i use head phones to make sure i don't hear the talk around me because i cant help myself from responding i forget i am not apart of the conversation......
hello aspergersgirl, I am 58 and just recently ( 3 mo. ) been diagnosed with aspergers. Always knew that I was on a different level than most others. Your issue concerning " speaking inapropriately " with others. I have done it a lot as well and have studied why I do it. Usually it is because someone is looking for someone to toot their own horn for them in some way shape or form, and so sorry but I will not conform there. I just can not stand self centered people.! Its food for thought. Cheers!
first of all my opinion is that ur smoking HOT! and secondly im a quiet aspie and a loud aspie. 95% of the time ima quiet one but put me in the right situation on top of that with some drinks and yes i can relate to everything you said LOL
IMPORTANT; autism is not an object with properties but a matter that is dealt with professionally and symptoms are merely found patterns.
"You're stupid.... am I being rude and aspie like? Ohh hey x is an aspie trait... lets see what x of mine I can emphasise."
In my charity the people there are friendly and mean well but have issues... autism is not the fashion of their season and does not fall under one characteristic... they're just them but with issues...
Hi, ive gone through both being quiet and loud. When i was quiet, one guy refered to me as quiet boy, when im 'loud' I tend to but in a lot or talk about things that other people are not really interested in.
@AnonymousElektron First off "ass pie" isn't a term for anything. If you mean the term that is commonly used for those who have Asperger's, the term is aspie, not "ass pie." Secondly you seem to be under the naive (not to mention moronic) impression that everyone who has Asperger's are alike. One she's an adult. As they grow and mature, those with Asperger's typically get better "coping skills." In addition male and female aspies can be extremely different in how it effects them.
People often think I'm really stupid in conversations because of the way I phrase my words. It gets really frustrating especially because I work at a bar and it's part of my job to talk to people and be personable. I'm not a genius by any means, but I know I am a lot smarter than some people and yet I just come across as really dumb sometimes.
@AnonymousElektron no, I don't plan on being a career bartender, thanks. However, the job I have now helps me work on being totally comfortable and honest with people. In my fantasies I imagine myself in a cabin somewhere writing novels and never having to interact with people again. That dream is unattainable and even sad, so I have to work on dealing with people now and this job helps me do that. I hope one day I will be totally comfortable, but until then some people just won't get me.
I dont know if i have it they hae been deisscussing it for awhile. My old school i 100 percent fit the characteristics of this type of autism, but now that im in a specail school i sem 100% normal...
As a child, I was DEFINATLY one of these "loud" ones. I was in your face, impulsive and bossy. I wasn't intrested in making friends but I was by no means shy. If there was something I didn't like about you, I would let you know. I was VERY agressive. I was CONSTANTALY being told I was talking too loud. I guess I still might be considered loud because if I see something wrong I will let everyone know.
I am a quiet aspie but it is not out of fear or shyness. I thought maybe I would give my perspective since you don't know what it's like to actually be a quiet aspie. My quietness is caused by a language processing delay which makes it hard for me to retrieve thoughts quickly in order to speak and it takes longer to translate what others are saying. I do see the benefits of being quiet, but at the same time I often wish it was easier for me to speak. I also hate it when people call me "shy." :)
I am definitely a loud Aspie. I am told that I am brutally honest and I should try to keep my opions to myself. When I try to talk to other girls Ialways come in at the wrong time and some of them just flat out tell me that my comment was
I suspect that I have Asperger's. If I do, I am definitely a "quiet" one. And I have to say that I would rather be "loud." I have a "loud" Aspie friend, and I envy him because even though he'll sometimes speak out of turn or something like that, his vocal enthusiasm for the things he enjoys helps him make friends and get his professors to notice him.
I don't know if I have Aspberger's or not. But I can see some things in the Wikipedia description that fit me and others that don't. Scored a 23 on AQ test so what's that mean?
I want to say don't feel bad about speaking your mind! Many people are afraid to speak, don't be. I am Quite "Loud" at times and have stopped many a conversation. But I keep on going. I am quite used to being an individual and though its tough I keep struggling on. Be true to yourself.
Oh yes, and I have LOUD Asperger's Syndrome...and people have been less tolerant and less patient with me than my assumption is that they were towards you. I have dealt with plenty of touchy people who have NOT been able to find the irony or humor in all the weird things I have said. My DAD, however, is totally awesome. He is really quite a gem...and he is also a native New Englander. My father sounds exactly like Peter Griffin from the Family Guy...minus all the gross bathroom humor, of course.
I was thinking about starting up my very own blog on the topic of Asperger's Syndrome. I am a native New Englander and if I did start a blog that is similar to yours, I would give that blog a nice local hometown touch. There are plenty of people living here in the Northeastern United States who have Asperger's Syndrome and different nationalities have different personalities. My people are fellow New Englanders and Bostonians and my blog would cater to their interests mostly. Got my personality.
My best friend's husband has quiet asperger's. Its so painful for him to have a conversation with somebody. He is a really nice guy but has a hard time connecting to his wife's feelings. He is a loner and does not have alot of friends. He is super intelligent and is an engineer.By the way, and I am sure you get alot of this, but, you are so beautiful! If you ever visit Los Angeles, I would love to meet you!
My 14 yr old daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar. She also has a mild case of Tourette's . I am just learning that she has tons of traits that point to Asperger's. She used to "toe-walk" all the time, but around 12 that dwindled some. She has always had trouble fitting in, and yes-she constantly butts into conversations and insults people without realizing it. She is very intelligent but has trouble showing it. There are lots of loud Aspies out there. U r not alone!
hello i got asperegers to :S got almost same as you but, it looks like it getting less i travel 200km a day to school in rotterdam (dutch) no probelms at al i work first time when i was 12 to 15 years old it was hard to make manye friends becuase i dont know what to say but now i can talk with them they dont even know i have it i tink i dotn gonna tell them becauce i tink they look diferents to me :S only problem i am facinf to talk to girls i always get nerves :S sorry if my english is notgood
I am a steamroller aspie. I Dominate conversations Bait arguments and kick but in debates. I tend to steer every conversation unto a topic I know alot about or have studied and then attack other peopls logic when an idea is not well thought out. I never comprimise and Drop friends and family at the slightest hint of emotional manipulation. I can be very loud and have no sense of shame or embarassment Also I seem to have no sense of empathy. At least that is what my wife complians about the most.
Typically, I'm a "quiet aspie," but that characteristic can be modified by benzodiazepines or ethanol. Hours ago, when I likely totaled my car by ricocheting off of the median because of black ice, I noticed and told the tow truck driver he missed a spot while shaving. I didn't mean to be offensive, but my mother (whom was giving me a ride and making my phone calls post-incident,) responded in such a way as to make me aware of the gravity of my comment.
Hi there. I am also a 'loud' Aspie guy and although I don't have an ounce of malice within me, I find myself time and again having to apologise because of something I've said, yesterday being the last example - I put my foot in it royally! I can't tell (in a conversation) when people have finished speaking or when it's my turn to speak and blunder in then get told off for butting in but when there's been a lengthy gap I think that means I can now speak! Obviously not! Enjoyed the vid.
I am a loud aspie. Two things that really stand out are:
1) When i either talk socially or do online chat, i do huge monologues over whatever pops into my mind. I drift off-topic real easy. People i talk to get bored.
2) I actually get a little anxious when co-workers are silent, In order to check their mood, i try to social chat with them which they often find annoying ("has that anything to do with work?").
Most of the people with aspergers have ADHD :P and people with adhd tends to say stupid things out without really thinking and at random times :P And some of the aspies have ADD and they can be quiet ^_^
@AnusCandy I don't know about most. I certainly have a HUGE attention problem. I never did any work at school, and can't concentrate. I am very sure I have ADD, but it's not diagnosed so I can't say for sure. My lack of attention at school wasn't noticed - I was so shy and quiet that I just scribbled on the desk instead of making a scene like the non aspergers ADD kids.
Actually the attention problem is caused by ADD. It's common and possible to have both. You really don't know what you're talking. Then again, I need to get used to dealing with people like you who jump to conclusions based on very little.
@AnusCandy I don't know about most. I certainly have a HUGE attention problem. I never did any work at school, and can't concentrate. I am very sure I have ADD, but it's not diagnosed so I can't say for sure. My lack of attention at school wasn't noticed - I was so shy and quiet that I just scribbled on the desk instead of making a scene like the non aspergers ADD kids.
i am a loud aspie. i am really talkative and i can't control my voice volume real will. when i get excited people always tell me to not yell but i didn;t even realize that my voice got louder. i try to be quieter now cus i am going to work and i don;t want to get in trouble. so i just don't talk much there but when i am with people i know i am really social and they accept my behaviors. i hate being in social situation where i can't be myself. but if i can be myself i am love social gathering.
sometimes when i hear a loud motorbikes coming past so fast. I don't show the public that im sensitive with the noise but inside me. its difficult to handle it very well sometimes. And the other problem is that when other people speak loudly or speak to quick, i ask them "what was that?" and some i dont know what the words mean that i havent heard before or difficult to understand. Is that the same for you?
I dated an Aspie for 3 years, and he switched between being loud and quiet depending on the people he was with. His father DEFINITELY fell into the loud category, though. I'm very curious about the experience of female Aspies, as I know much less about it.
It doesn't appear that I myself have Asperger's, but I'm currently being generally tested. I think that I have some sort of disorder that somewhat resembles it.
I'm very quiet, both in terms of being selective and economical with my words, and being softly spoken, so much so that people often strain to hear me when I speak. Raising the volume of my voice requires a concious effort, and I find it uncomfortable. I also tend to talk at a slow pace, which in the opinion of a psychologist who performed an assessment on me some years ago, was a strategy on my part for slowing down a conversation to compensate for my slow processing speed.
The same thing happens to me. People think I'm "stupid".
A lot of times its when I'm telling a joke that involves irony. Like, say I made a joke around "the sky is red". Well these idiots think that I actually believe the sky is red! Like people around here in Erie, PA are just too stupid to understand irony.
Or I'll think like a stand-up comedian and I won't think about how its different when someone says it on a stage, so they won't get my joke, or they'll think I'm being serious.
my experiences are equal. u describe it so suitable. i feel so disable with social interactions i dont join any if i dont have to or make myselfe have to.
Yes, another loud aspie here. But I think that people who are seen as odd because we talk to much and say strange things still have it easyer than the painfuly shy ones who don't talk at all. At least by speaking you can gradualy learn to socialize better, but if you are always silent, you won't.
@milascave i was a quiet almost still child. but my mother allways told me: u have to speak to people otherwise u will go to a different kindergarden where the people are worse. so i became more loud". which scares people away from me!
I was loud pretty much all my life until a couple years ago when I was forced to look at the effects my actions were having on other people. Since then I've been quieter, but it sucks. It takes a lot of energy to process what other people are feeling all the time (I probably put too much energy into this as I'm deathly afraid of slipping up and offending someone) and it drains me. I miss the old days, lol.
I totally relate to mimicking other people's personalities. It's how I learned to fit in.
@anmndr same here I usually over analyze people and find it hard to decide what to say back to them, but by the time i make a decision it is too late, leaves me feeling dissapointed
My dd. she's seven and told someone yesterday that they had pirate teeth! She just thought it was funny. You are not alone. I just uploaded a video of her doing a pupet show. Nothing special, I'm just tinkering with youtube. But take a look and see if she seems familiar to you.
Bullshit man if everybody stopped them selves from speaking just because they thought they may offend someone, the world would be a dull, boring, undeveloped place!
Sometimes it's like being on or off, but no grey between. It's easier to be behind the computer. I remember as a kid, hiding behind a friend's shed, crying, because "no one wanted to play with me". Of course, it was more that I didn't really know how to interface.
Eye contact is unbearable. Interacting for a defined purpose is great. Social settings are very nonsequitur and unfiltered. Alcohol helps others laugh. Hearing silence behind my tangents can remind me to pause for others' words.
Thanks for making this! My son has some kind of high functioning autism spectrum disorder but hasn't received any official diagnosis. But this always confused me, he's very outgoing, but extremely so. Initially that really threw me off because it seemed so different than how aspergers is usually "defined". But then I realized he was having trouble understanding what was acceptable and unacceptable social behaviors.
I am both very quiet and very loud. I didn't notice this was a symptom of Asperger's until recently, but my fiance would FOREVER be telling me 'You can't even whisper. You whisper really loud!' or 'Why are you yelling?' when I feel like I'm talking normally. In other instances, far fewer, he makes me repeat myself five or six times because I just can't be loud enough. It's ridiculous.
i'm a very loud aspie too. i think people might think i'm borderline retarded! oh well: or maybe i have no shame. just kidding, i think. i never know what i think! ha.
I often confuse people when I switch between the loud and quiet personas... I can be the annoying loud clingy one or the funny but disruptive one- on the other end of the spectrum I can completely shut down and not communicate. I won't even phone people for important things like the bank or making a doctors' appointment. I feel really bad because it makes it more difficult for people to 'deal with' and support me if the BOTH of us have no idea how I'm going to respond ^^;;;;
I'm usually rather quiet, especially around strangers, new people & in public. But, at home with family, or friends I've known quite a while I can sometimes become the loud type XD especially when I start burbling about a fascinating subject. My volume control flies out the window, and it has to be pointed out (>_<)
@Kasutei i m exactly like that. and when i get used to the people i m with i can get very rude and start saying very inappropriate things. HATE THAT, especially when i dont really mean to offend anyone :(
one of them is like "Well if you'd make an effort to listen to other people you'd make more friends". I have really tried to reach out to her and tone it down a little bit but I still come off as strong and sometimes I feel like people are excluding me from conversations because they think of me as being "freaky". So I completely understand you Aspergersgirl and love your videos.
I understand about the butting into conversations part Fiona because I have that problem myself, and it tends to put people off quite a bit Fiona. This is upsetting to me and leads to depression. There is a whole video that I did on this on my channel. I am a Loud Aspie and it is because of that I tend to put off girls and I have such difficulties with relationships. Two of my coworkers think of me as rude and arrogant...PT 1
Hey! First, I love your videos! Very balanced & real perspective! Personally, being an 'aspie' as well, I'd have to say that I've had similar moments. I've tended to mimic certain personalities in order to socially "vibe". Of course, there are times when I lose this and realize, upon reflection, that I've perhaps said things that touch emotional sore spots without meaning to. Please don't take this offensively but I LOL'd about the Pineapple thing :) I can't say I've ever seen such a person!
@nahemia Thanks! :) Interesting comment - I tend to mimic peoples personalities too, i'm very different around different types of people. I guess its a type of trying to fit in.
@AspergersGirl Thank you! That is very interesting. In my study of human behaviour and social dynamics, I've read and witnessed first-hand that it is actually a great gift to be able to mirror people to some degree, in order to better connect with them & for them to feel comfortable. Even something as simple as smiling a lot seems to open incredible doors and break down a lot of the social barriers.
@AspergersGirl That said, it's always a bit of a challenge, as I usually still have to consciously will myself to do it! I actually only recently came to realize the difficulties that come along with Asperger's. It's mainly due to videos and people such as yourself who are sharing their experiences! It's truly been liberating for me, because I finally feel like I know myself, whereas before I'd constantly wonder what was 'wrong' with me. I'm very high functioning, so I couldnt quite tell before.
I am how you described! I'm really tired right now, though, and don't have the energy to write more. Basically, I do what you talked about. I interrupt, poor volume control, I go on and on about a particular subject and not realize I'm boring people or they aren't listening, and saying very random things, etc.
In a real big group im a quiet aspie and wont contribute that much. My randomness helps with that. But one on one conversations Im a loud aspie and end up offending people sometimes.
I can assure you that, in my experience (I've met over 100), Loud Aspies are the overwhelming majority. As a quiet (but opinionated and determined) Aspie, I am not timid or bashful in the least - I am anxious and socially phobic. Shyness is a blanket-term which, for the most part does not apply to me. Either way, I like who I am and nothing, not even f*chwit comments from degenerates like Locke1217, is going to change that.
I don't think thats unique to people with aspergers. I think thats just part of the human condition; you never know when its a good time to talk, what to say, or who may be offended. I think everyone battles with that, regardless of having a syndrome or not. I know I say stupid things a lot, even without aspergers.
I'm definitely a loud aspie. I am better as an adult but still end up saying "What? What?!?" a lot after seeing I offended someone.
My mother bought me a bumper sticker (and me with no car - was 9yo) that said "be sure brain is in gear before engaging mouth". Never worked but was appropriate I suppose.
I've noticed my friends with aspergers can be quite loud and I usually have to say keep your voice down, where others in my group keep talking too softly.
What's interesting is the loud ones don't realise when they are saying somthing they prehaps should not say outloud, the quite ones always check and talk softly tho when talking about somthing you shouldn't shout, whatever that may be.
one of the hallmarks of aspergers/autism and even Attention deficit disorder is having difficulties reading social situations and recognizing personal space. A quiet person is a quiet person regardless of aspergers. An outgoing person without AS will talk a lot but more often than not it will be appropiate and therefore not be noticed. An outgoing aspie will talk a lot but will find that it is oftentimes inapropiate. So I would just say that you are an outgoing person. Nothing wrong with that.
I do have some quiet moments though when I'm asking for something or saying 'thank you' or 'excuse me' but I've gotten better and have made myself say it out loud.
I simply don't understand why neurotypicals ask questions at all. They expect the answers to be sugar coated in a socially appropriate manner which meets public majority approval. Political correctness, public approval, ans social acceptance are elusive to me. However I do think aspies are kind, empathic, and really honest.
I consider myself to be a quiet aspie, often i find myself thinking about what i say before i say something. I sometimes fear what other people would think after i said something or responded to them. I also feel i have a sense of bad timing when it comes to conversations like when to join in a chat amongst my coworkers, family etc. I used to be so timid around other people when i was a kid. So yeah, social situations are still a battlefield for myself even after all these years.
I have attributes to both types. I used to be so scared to respond to people, I would just completely switch off when they talked to me. But I butt into conversations too, and also sometimes cut people off when they're talking. I just feel like I have to get my opinion out when that happens.
And while I agree that being quiet has so often saved myself from making a complete fool of myself, it doesn't mean my social skills are any better than those of a "loud version of me". It just means I'm hiding my true self from most of the world, and I'm no better at making friends than the guy who annoys people.
I've always been quiet and keep to myself around people I don't know, but when I get comfortable I tend to be louder than most. Sometimes I raise my voice when I get excited and it makes people nervous or uncomfortable.
And I know that people often got annoyed with that guy because he just didn't know when to shut up and had absolutely no sense of when people weren't interested in what he was talking about (usually stuff related to computers or sci-fi or mundane things in his life). It actually made me slightly more reluctant to contribute to conversations, seeing what it actually looked like when a guy verbally expressed the kinds of things I often thought. And it didn't look good to me, either.
While I've always been known as the quiet guy, I remember back in college, there was this guy that I came to think of as "the loud version of me", in the sense that he had a loud voice and talked and rambled a lot and would pretty much say whatever was on his mind, whether people were interested or not, and I noticed that a lot of the things he said were thoughts that I had running through my head, only I chose to keep them in my head.
I am normally quiet and introverted, but when I am excited or agitated about something I become very loud very quickly, I often get scourned for being too loud
just be yourself. being quiet is fine.
Killac67 1 month ago
Even though I may have Aspergers, I believe the plausible explanations to why I am quiet is because 1) you haven't talk to me 2) you're not interesting and 3) you're not familiar. Why not? I get in a conversation really well if I know or been talked to.
IceAges14Aces 1 month ago
I was wondering if you were referring to introversion (quiet, shy, mentally occupied observer) or extroversion (loud, bold, life of the party [often as distraction from discomfort], uninvited social contributor when miscalculating social cueues.) I sense each aspie tends to pendulum with assessed environments. I have a good memory with many mental scripts; it depends on the role chosen. I'm a quiet follower, yet a loud leader. My 'teacher' role will keep control- what I know, I know very well.
MaestroMediaGroup 1 month ago
We're embarassed of ourselves. We're tired of rejection. We're sick of being labeld as a disability. We keep quiet, we hide. Scared to reach out, in fear of finding answers we don't like. We're exhausted, we're tired. Hiding behind sarcasim. Not being able to find words to express how we feel. A language of babble nobody understands we're never heard. A rare breed of aliens fighting to be normal. Doing all that we can to blend in unseen.
It's refreshing to see someone like me.
Hid3sInsight 1 month ago
I tend to be very quite in that i don't know what to say... i am usually only thinking about my own thoughts, etc.
AlphaGator9 1 month ago
im usualy quiet because i have nothing to say
michael79331 1 month ago
One lesson I have learned is that alot of people love to talk about themselves.. So ask questions just general ones where do you work? do you enjoy it? do you live far from here? how was your weekend/week? when they answer the questions you can tell alot about the type of person they are by their answers in alot of cases if they like you as a person it makes them happy. Practising your answers would most likely be a good idea too because the questions are asked back in a two way conversation.
nrocinuauqa 2 months ago
I'm a very quiet 'aspie' I think because in the past I've said wrong things and I am, like you said, afraid to say something wrong. Though lately, I've been trying to talk more even if I am not sure whether or not it is right. I'm trying to do this because I think by seeing reactions from people, I'll be able to learn what is right and wrong to say
Greenarubacats94 2 months ago
can you tell sometimes by peoples eyes if they have aspies?
00stupid1 2 months ago
I'm exactly the same. I often come up with stuff which is much worse than "you look like a pineapple"... and interrupt conversations and say things which are irrelevant or pointless and often destroy the whole thing! And I'm really loud about it, and yeah, I only realise what I've said afterwards. I love your videos. :)
rosiemaphone 2 months ago
A friend of mine posted about "skeletons in the closet". I thought there were dead bodies in her closet hanging on a hanger like clothes. I have heard of this expression before because I asked what it meant. I think it is a rather morbid expression. I posted back and told I don't have bodies in my closet, I have an old Furby. She thought it was funny and laughed. Why? Emotions are too intangible. It's easier to understand my pets.
TheBoondockgurl 2 months ago
I think we need quiet people. It would be pretty fuckin wierd to me if everyone were outgoing.
Im quiet! Thats just the way i am. If you have a problem with it fuck off.
SlipperyTounge 2 months ago
I'm a quiet aspie. I agree with lindseywong919. I usually don't speak up in conversations unless I have a question. Speaking actually takes away from my ability to process and generate new understanding in the moment. I've also noticed that in the rare time when I feel pressure to socialize I say stupid things because, well, you're not really talking about anything of substance. It's hard to do small talk while ignoring the superficial aspect of it I guess.
MsInsiderWithout 2 months ago
I think the downside of being a quiet aspie is that people assume that your being aloof, standoffish deliberately and thats often not the case. I have things to say but as a (mostly) quiet aspie I find the timing awkward to input that comment or I dont know what to say. People just assume your being a snob.
lindseywong919 2 months ago
@lindseywong919 I'm with you, lindseywong919! On a one to one conversation, I can talk for ages (or at least, listen appropriately and keep the conversation going. Put me in a group of 4 and I become a dumb mute. I am often thought of as being stand-offish and aloof, although I am really neither.
iwales 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@AspergersGirl,, yes , i'm a loud Aspie,, and i think you should make sure what you say IS offensive before saying it. its only words - people can choose to ignore them or not, this political-correctness has gone way too far really. people shouldn't behave like babies who basically cry that someone said a fukin' word. PEACE-OUT :D
joncobber 2 months ago
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joncobber 2 months ago
You and i aré very much alike! I instantly recognized myself in your experiences. I butt in constantly, even in mid sentence with someone speaking to me. It feels awful because i catch myself too late the majority of the time. I also ramble on, well after my audience has checked out, even when i know they have. I often assume the role of the kooky guy in the room due to these difficulties, But i am becoming slightly better over the years at catching myself. Im glad Im not alone.
TheMyklar 2 months ago
I try to give a disclaimer if I am not sure if it's a stupid comment like "Um, please forgive me, I am not sure if this is going to come out right, or sound silly or odd BUT.." then I will say what's on my mind.
KendrasPhilosophies 3 months ago
i tried to tell the school nurse that i had aspergers... apparently this is not a disease where burgers come out of your rectum....
zeBOOTphookar 3 months ago
The quality of my life has improved dramatically since I stopped giving a crap about what people think. Social encounters, particularly groups, are very draining when you analyze everything you want to say while trying to follow the conversation. NT's, in many cases, like to read between the lines and are more accepting of a subtle insult than a direct observation even when it's not meant as an insult. The direct nature of AS language is what gets us in trouble more than the actual words we use.
Rascal77s 3 months ago
I've been both, but I think I've got a healthy balance now.
DarkTheAtheist 3 months ago
Her eyes are scary.
kimkarkrashagain 3 months ago
I find that I talk a lot when I'm speaking about one of my special interests, or if I ask a friend why they act a certain way, what they mean when they say something,, etc. When it comes to thoughts I have of other people though, I've learned not to say anything mostly because I'm unsure what they are thinking and how they will acknowledge and react to what I say. I'm also quiet because the majority of conversations do not interest me, it is the stuff that I'm interested in that I talk about.
Iberastur 3 months ago
Quiet and shy. It's better expressing online. I have been on the radio before which you have to speak up but whenever I'm with others I tend to shut down.
themananswer2250 3 months ago
By the way, AspergersGirl, I like your videos and think you're very entertaining. You have a warm and funny personality and I hope the people you work with appreciate it.
EsmenaCat 4 months ago
(con't) Now though, I am in grad school and it is expected that I'll contribute in and out of class. This has loosened me up in general. I find myself talking over people, which I sometimes feel I have to if I want to contribute, or I'll lose interest in what I was going to say, or hesitate too long and miss my chance. I've slipped into talkinga about myself too much, and revealing my opinions. The feedback is clearly negative. It's what got me looking into diagnoses & led me to ASD.
EsmenaCat 4 months ago
(con't) As a child, I started out loud and opinionated, which brought attention that eventually led to being bullied. By HS though, the bullying had subsided and I got loud again. Was rather known for having contrarian opinions and a willingness to share them, and got a degree of acceptance for it. At college though, my academic insecurity took over and I all but stopped having opinions. Now I have fairly well-defined ones, but mostly keep silent to avoid negative social consequences.
EsmenaCat 4 months ago
Well, I am very recently self-diagnosed, though I do intend to be evaluated because it drives me nuts when people self-diagnose and make changes in their lives without a valid diagnosis. Learning that everyone with autism spectrum disorders isn't good at math or fascinated by numbers is what allowed me to look at other factors and realize how much they apply to me.
I have been both loud and quiet at different times in my life, and as an adult have struggled with knowing which way to go.
EsmenaCat 4 months ago
Eh, I wouldn't worry too much about that. I mean, if what you wanna say is super offensive don't say it or change the wording to make it sound a little nicer. If what you wanna say just makes "normal people" offended (without the word super involved), don't even care. Normal people say some of the stupidest things I've heard ON PURPOSE. If they have a problem with what we do and say they can go fuck themselves.
Alex808thegreat 4 months ago
Im quiet def..ppl often tell me to speaker louder
TinyTracey 4 months ago
I say really silly things and make random noises a lot. (When I'm at home.) It's fun! x] I don't see anything wrong with saying "Where's my leg!?" or "The Great Wall is dental floss!" Hey who knows, it may even brighten someone's day and make tham laugh. :]
TheSnowyice 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Second part of the first comment. They poke fun at me and just put me down....although they say they are joking and to not take things so hard (yea...live in my brain and let me see you not take it so hard.) I also have them blocked on my facebook from seeing statuses because of how they react and act towards me. :/
Pslams61 4 months ago
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Pslams61 4 months ago
This is a 2 part comment...stupid character restrictions. I am in the middle. I am quiet when in a crowd of people (which isn't often, I do not like crowds) but if I am used to a place or with family I tend to be loud. I have also learned with my boyfriend's family to be quiet because of how they react towards me.
Pslams61 4 months ago
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Pslams61 4 months ago
Saying someone looks like a pineapple isn't silly at all, you'r just giving your opinion in a funny way...
You definitely need to have more confidence, I think aspergus is just a name they give to people with unique personalities but it's mainly due to their environmental experiences growing up, that's all... :0)
DavinaFaerie 4 months ago
I've lost track of how many times I've came out with stupid and offensive comments. One day I was sitting at a table with about 5 people and I was thinking about this Australian film I saw called Bad Boy Bubby and one bit a guy shouts out of a car "get off the fuckin road ya grimy cunt". That was going through my head so I just decided to come out with it, I said that sentence in an Australian accent. Everyone was offended lol.
ampikine 4 months ago
"you look like a pineapple" hahaha!! The way I see it, although I should be cautious about what I say so as not to offend people, its everyones responsibility to patch up their vulnerabilities. Being offended by words is a vulnerability.
ampikine 4 months ago
I used to talk non stop and at the wrong time and making silly comments too:D but now I've become extremely self concious:( and I'm quiet most of the time, not because I don't feel like talking, but it's because I'm afraid of talking:(
violinist881 5 months ago
I'm the loudest aspie ever, I PURPOSEFULLY say the wrong thing at the wrong time cause it's freaking hilarious, especially around strangers. I get bored and some really stupid line pops into my head and I yell it out in order to solicit a hilarious response from a total stranger, some of it's pretty inappropriate, stuff like "SHOW ME YOUR RAPE FACE" and "WATCH OUT FOR MY PENIS" sometimes it takes a physical dimension too, like doing a twatty little dance in the middle of the street
Ihatemyusernamemore 5 months ago
@Ihatemyusernamemore lol! :)
elena026 5 months ago
@Ihatemyusernamemore that is soo fuckkng funny hahahaha
gummynumberone 4 weeks ago
I'm a quiet aspie and my cousin is a loud aspie...it's weird, cause we're really similar yet really different at the same time!
XIonaXx 5 months ago
i am a quiet one and im nearly 13 and i think thats how i didnt get diagnosed till 2 weeks ago.
Rhiana2310 5 months ago
im more like a cool loner and quiet
PredatorRayified 6 months ago
You can usually spot a loud aspie right away because most of the loud aspies I encounter embrace their quirky wierdness as the more quiet ones (like myself) usually go unnoticed because they are insecure about their abnormalities and try to become like everyone else. It's also just how your personalities become, like, some people are going to be naturally be outgoing or shy. And, from what I can tell, it also depends on how severe or moderate your case is to how you deal with things.
megthehufflepuff 6 months ago
I qualify as loud. But I learned that everything u do will always b bad for somebody, its impossible to impress everyone, so i just stopped caring. i just try to gravitate towards ppl who r not overly sensitive and can handle the truth. its too stressful to constantly worry about it.
AspergianAngel 6 months ago
Those eyes... imagine them watching you masturbate .
90talisten 6 months ago
You got to know when to hold them. The more confortable you are in the situation the more likely you are to blurt it out.
xshanghu 6 months ago
I'm a loud aspie... "I'm not opinionated, I just speak my mind."
LW9960 7 months ago
I'm a loud Aspie, I was the one who sent you an email about my sister. When I was younger, I was much more impulsive, now it is much easier to manage, but I still have time where autopilot kicks in and I make a fool of myself or hurt someone's feelings. The good news is that a lot of times I can't tell how they react...
Dubsackjack 7 months ago
I am laud, example:when teachaer in class is saying somethig what i think is not correct - i just comment this, i do say bad and rute things to my fellow studnets. it is not my intention to by offensive, sometimes it just turns to be rude to others heheh. I have to controll my self, but then i will start to close my self . I dont know what is better - to sit, be quiet and just look loco - or talk, be me and get punches because of being rude.
tomme1 7 months ago
My 16 year old son has Aspergers and he is very loud and talks all the time, he will go on and on. He has also became very verbally abusive to me and talks to me at times as if he were my parent. It is so very frustrating.
MnMLadyZ 7 months ago
I'm extremely quiet, which is another way of saying "too scared to contribute or talk at all". Unless it's about science or a topic dear to my interests. Actual conversations are so scary they drain my mental energy superfast. I hate discussions and just ignore anyone I.R.L, with a different opinion. I can't defend my thinking, so I just don't bother at all...
Kenjitsuka 8 months ago 13
@Kenjitsuka what do u mean by I.R,L?
sfg1996 4 months ago
@sfg1996 In Real Life, a common Internet abbreviation to denote that something is not online ;)
Kenjitsuka 4 months ago
@Kenjitsuka oh ok :)
sfg1996 4 months ago
@Kenjitsuka ignoring someone with a different opinion. shit thats not aspergers at all. thats like most ignorant normal people.
maxgunn555 4 months ago
I am sometimes too loud, or sometimes too quiet.
RachelF19 8 months ago
@RachelF19 same
Insurgent999 7 months ago
@ColombianaXO7 Same with me.
AresCassell 8 months ago
I'm a quiet one, but I don't say rude things when I finally speak either.
Mycenaea 8 months ago
Interesting video perspective. I am in most social situations a very quite Aspie. This makes me totally useless at holding a conversation and I often get upset and annoyed with myself, because I have so much to say and it's just not coming out my mouth! However when I'm around a very close friend or my family and it's a good day or they are talking about harry Potter, I'd consider myself to be a very lound Aspie. by 90% of the time I'm would say I'm very shy and quite.
01stanbk 8 months ago
i am a loud as and get into trouble with it all the time i wish i could keep my mouth shut on my opinions but cant......... i use head phones to make sure i don't hear the talk around me because i cant help myself from responding i forget i am not apart of the conversation......
flytech78 8 months ago
'inappropriate', like the term aspergers itself, was created by people who (basically0 suck.
posthumanhero 8 months ago
hello aspergersgirl, I am 58 and just recently ( 3 mo. ) been diagnosed with aspergers. Always knew that I was on a different level than most others. Your issue concerning " speaking inapropriately " with others. I have done it a lot as well and have studied why I do it. Usually it is because someone is looking for someone to toot their own horn for them in some way shape or form, and so sorry but I will not conform there. I just can not stand self centered people.! Its food for thought. Cheers!
MrTruthfinder123 9 months ago
mostly a quiet aspie me but in certain groups of people that i am certain will be amused by my antics i can become a loud aspie
liamq12fu 9 months ago
not offenssive, or not say anything at all. thats just great :( now i have nothing to say
Omgsome1just 9 months ago
first of all my opinion is that ur smoking HOT! and secondly im a quiet aspie and a loud aspie. 95% of the time ima quiet one but put me in the right situation on top of that with some drinks and yes i can relate to everything you said LOL
mazzoza19 10 months ago
IMPORTANT; autism is not an object with properties but a matter that is dealt with professionally and symptoms are merely found patterns.
"You're stupid.... am I being rude and aspie like? Ohh hey x is an aspie trait... lets see what x of mine I can emphasise."
In my charity the people there are friendly and mean well but have issues... autism is not the fashion of their season and does not fall under one characteristic... they're just them but with issues...
I'm sick of this amplified shit.
Dolphidood 10 months ago
Hi, ive gone through both being quiet and loud. When i was quiet, one guy refered to me as quiet boy, when im 'loud' I tend to but in a lot or talk about things that other people are not really interested in.
firehandszarb 10 months ago
you can't be an ass pie you're not awkward nor fat enough.
AnonymousElektron 11 months ago
@AnonymousElektron First off "ass pie" isn't a term for anything. If you mean the term that is commonly used for those who have Asperger's, the term is aspie, not "ass pie." Secondly you seem to be under the naive (not to mention moronic) impression that everyone who has Asperger's are alike. One she's an adult. As they grow and mature, those with Asperger's typically get better "coping skills." In addition male and female aspies can be extremely different in how it effects them.
gamelvr1 11 months ago
@gamelvr1 welcome to the internet.
Before you can upgrade from an internet permit to an internet license, you must learn what trolling is.
Good luck on your road test!
AnonymousElektron 11 months ago
People often think I'm really stupid in conversations because of the way I phrase my words. It gets really frustrating especially because I work at a bar and it's part of my job to talk to people and be personable. I'm not a genius by any means, but I know I am a lot smarter than some people and yet I just come across as really dumb sometimes.
RoyalKooparillo 11 months ago
@RoyalKooparillo you shouldn't be working in a job where you have to interact with people.
I hope you're not planning on doing that as a career.
I used to have to work in *shudder* SALES, it was horrible and I hated it.
What's worse, I actually learned to get good at it!
I almost hated myself for being so fake.
Now I'm a happy engineer :D
AnonymousElektron 11 months ago
@AnonymousElektron no, I don't plan on being a career bartender, thanks. However, the job I have now helps me work on being totally comfortable and honest with people. In my fantasies I imagine myself in a cabin somewhere writing novels and never having to interact with people again. That dream is unattainable and even sad, so I have to work on dealing with people now and this job helps me do that. I hope one day I will be totally comfortable, but until then some people just won't get me.
RoyalKooparillo 11 months ago
I'm quiet and shy and liked sounds and vibrations (aspie)
TheManAnswer 11 months ago
you loud dont think so sound soft 2 me lol
bobyard123 11 months ago
am a very quiet person
MrSimford 11 months ago
I dont know if i have it they hae been deisscussing it for awhile. My old school i 100 percent fit the characteristics of this type of autism, but now that im in a specail school i sem 100% normal...
MyDragonfli 11 months ago
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SupaSlyFox 1 year ago
LOL that's a funny comment..."you look like a pineapple."
If you said that to me I would have thought it was hilarious.
tikidweller 1 year ago
im a quiet one.
TheOnlyAttrition 1 year ago
As a child, I was DEFINATLY one of these "loud" ones. I was in your face, impulsive and bossy. I wasn't intrested in making friends but I was by no means shy. If there was something I didn't like about you, I would let you know. I was VERY agressive. I was CONSTANTALY being told I was talking too loud. I guess I still might be considered loud because if I see something wrong I will let everyone know.
PinkPunkyKat 1 year ago
I am a quiet aspie but it is not out of fear or shyness. I thought maybe I would give my perspective since you don't know what it's like to actually be a quiet aspie. My quietness is caused by a language processing delay which makes it hard for me to retrieve thoughts quickly in order to speak and it takes longer to translate what others are saying. I do see the benefits of being quiet, but at the same time I often wish it was easier for me to speak. I also hate it when people call me "shy." :)
sushipie29 1 year ago
I am definitely a loud Aspie. I am told that I am brutally honest and I should try to keep my opions to myself. When I try to talk to other girls Ialways come in at the wrong time and some of them just flat out tell me that my comment was
omgImAbird 1 year ago
loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
mooncat46 1 year ago
I suspect that I have Asperger's. If I do, I am definitely a "quiet" one. And I have to say that I would rather be "loud." I have a "loud" Aspie friend, and I envy him because even though he'll sometimes speak out of turn or something like that, his vocal enthusiasm for the things he enjoys helps him make friends and get his professors to notice him.
coltharpnicholas 1 year ago
I don't know if I have Aspberger's or not. But I can see some things in the Wikipedia description that fit me and others that don't. Scored a 23 on AQ test so what's that mean?
I want to say don't feel bad about speaking your mind! Many people are afraid to speak, don't be. I am Quite "Loud" at times and have stopped many a conversation. But I keep on going. I am quite used to being an individual and though its tough I keep struggling on. Be true to yourself.
StretchWiggle 1 year ago
Oh yes, and I have LOUD Asperger's Syndrome...and people have been less tolerant and less patient with me than my assumption is that they were towards you. I have dealt with plenty of touchy people who have NOT been able to find the irony or humor in all the weird things I have said. My DAD, however, is totally awesome. He is really quite a gem...and he is also a native New Englander. My father sounds exactly like Peter Griffin from the Family Guy...minus all the gross bathroom humor, of course.
MarkSmithOnToYouTub7 1 year ago
I was thinking about starting up my very own blog on the topic of Asperger's Syndrome. I am a native New Englander and if I did start a blog that is similar to yours, I would give that blog a nice local hometown touch. There are plenty of people living here in the Northeastern United States who have Asperger's Syndrome and different nationalities have different personalities. My people are fellow New Englanders and Bostonians and my blog would cater to their interests mostly. Got my personality.
MarkSmithOnToYouTub7 1 year ago
My best friend's husband has quiet asperger's. Its so painful for him to have a conversation with somebody. He is a really nice guy but has a hard time connecting to his wife's feelings. He is a loner and does not have alot of friends. He is super intelligent and is an engineer.By the way, and I am sure you get alot of this, but, you are so beautiful! If you ever visit Los Angeles, I would love to meet you!
cressisan 1 year ago
My 14 yr old daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar. She also has a mild case of Tourette's . I am just learning that she has tons of traits that point to Asperger's. She used to "toe-walk" all the time, but around 12 that dwindled some. She has always had trouble fitting in, and yes-she constantly butts into conversations and insults people without realizing it. She is very intelligent but has trouble showing it. There are lots of loud Aspies out there. U r not alone!
luvbunnykj 1 year ago
hello i got asperegers to :S got almost same as you but, it looks like it getting less i travel 200km a day to school in rotterdam (dutch) no probelms at al i work first time when i was 12 to 15 years old it was hard to make manye friends becuase i dont know what to say but now i can talk with them they dont even know i have it i tink i dotn gonna tell them becauce i tink they look diferents to me :S only problem i am facinf to talk to girls i always get nerves :S sorry if my english is notgood
isisrufus 1 year ago
I am a steamroller aspie. I Dominate conversations Bait arguments and kick but in debates. I tend to steer every conversation unto a topic I know alot about or have studied and then attack other peopls logic when an idea is not well thought out. I never comprimise and Drop friends and family at the slightest hint of emotional manipulation. I can be very loud and have no sense of shame or embarassment Also I seem to have no sense of empathy. At least that is what my wife complians about the most.
sixthheretic 1 year ago
Typically, I'm a "quiet aspie," but that characteristic can be modified by benzodiazepines or ethanol. Hours ago, when I likely totaled my car by ricocheting off of the median because of black ice, I noticed and told the tow truck driver he missed a spot while shaving. I didn't mean to be offensive, but my mother (whom was giving me a ride and making my phone calls post-incident,) responded in such a way as to make me aware of the gravity of my comment.
Scalarburn 1 year ago
ur very pretty, love the kiwi accent too. Im heading to nz next year
muntario1982 1 year ago 5
@muntario1982 Thanks! Where will you go in NZ?
AspergersGirl 1 year ago
@AspergersGirl I will be travelling all round on a holiday working visa, prob start off in Auckland
muntario1982 1 year ago
Hi there. I am also a 'loud' Aspie guy and although I don't have an ounce of malice within me, I find myself time and again having to apologise because of something I've said, yesterday being the last example - I put my foot in it royally! I can't tell (in a conversation) when people have finished speaking or when it's my turn to speak and blunder in then get told off for butting in but when there's been a lengthy gap I think that means I can now speak! Obviously not! Enjoyed the vid.
LoudAspieGuy 1 year ago
I am a loud aspie. Two things that really stand out are:
1) When i either talk socially or do online chat, i do huge monologues over whatever pops into my mind. I drift off-topic real easy. People i talk to get bored.
2) I actually get a little anxious when co-workers are silent, In order to check their mood, i try to social chat with them which they often find annoying ("has that anything to do with work?").
HandigeHarry010 1 year ago
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condor5150 1 year ago
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condor5150 1 year ago
Most of the people with aspergers have ADHD :P and people with adhd tends to say stupid things out without really thinking and at random times :P And some of the aspies have ADD and they can be quiet ^_^
AnusCandy 1 year ago
@AnusCandy I don't know about most. I certainly have a HUGE attention problem. I never did any work at school, and can't concentrate. I am very sure I have ADD, but it's not diagnosed so I can't say for sure. My lack of attention at school wasn't noticed - I was so shy and quiet that I just scribbled on the desk instead of making a scene like the non aspergers ADD kids.
AspergersGirl 1 year ago 2
@AspergersGirl "you have a huge attention problem". People with Asperge's are able to focus obsessively on some subjects.
This is why you shouldn't see you Asperger's in a black and white way.
"You look like a pine-apple". This is the sort of comment lots of people would say, or if wearing a yellow dress that they look like a "banana".
Maybe you're too hard on yourself.
BarriosGroupie 1 year ago
@BarriosGroupie
Actually the attention problem is caused by ADD. It's common and possible to have both. You really don't know what you're talking. Then again, I need to get used to dealing with people like you who jump to conclusions based on very little.
AspergersGirl 1 year ago
@AnusCandy I don't know about most. I certainly have a HUGE attention problem. I never did any work at school, and can't concentrate. I am very sure I have ADD, but it's not diagnosed so I can't say for sure. My lack of attention at school wasn't noticed - I was so shy and quiet that I just scribbled on the desk instead of making a scene like the non aspergers ADD kids.
AspergersGirl 1 year ago
i am a loud aspie. i am really talkative and i can't control my voice volume real will. when i get excited people always tell me to not yell but i didn;t even realize that my voice got louder. i try to be quieter now cus i am going to work and i don;t want to get in trouble. so i just don't talk much there but when i am with people i know i am really social and they accept my behaviors. i hate being in social situation where i can't be myself. but if i can be myself i am love social gathering.
ivanova88 1 year ago
sometimes when i hear a loud motorbikes coming past so fast. I don't show the public that im sensitive with the noise but inside me. its difficult to handle it very well sometimes. And the other problem is that when other people speak loudly or speak to quick, i ask them "what was that?" and some i dont know what the words mean that i havent heard before or difficult to understand. Is that the same for you?
MrAngryTV1 1 year ago
You look quite a lot like Claire Danes.
I dated an Aspie for 3 years, and he switched between being loud and quiet depending on the people he was with. His father DEFINITELY fell into the loud category, though. I'm very curious about the experience of female Aspies, as I know much less about it.
It doesn't appear that I myself have Asperger's, but I'm currently being generally tested. I think that I have some sort of disorder that somewhat resembles it.
moscowmasha 1 year ago
I'm very quiet, both in terms of being selective and economical with my words, and being softly spoken, so much so that people often strain to hear me when I speak. Raising the volume of my voice requires a concious effort, and I find it uncomfortable. I also tend to talk at a slow pace, which in the opinion of a psychologist who performed an assessment on me some years ago, was a strategy on my part for slowing down a conversation to compensate for my slow processing speed.
Peter5930 1 year ago
The same thing happens to me. People think I'm "stupid".
A lot of times its when I'm telling a joke that involves irony. Like, say I made a joke around "the sky is red". Well these idiots think that I actually believe the sky is red! Like people around here in Erie, PA are just too stupid to understand irony.
Or I'll think like a stand-up comedian and I won't think about how its different when someone says it on a stage, so they won't get my joke, or they'll think I'm being serious.
KingRadbadical1988 1 year ago
Im a loud aspie i thought i was weird for aspies, thought most of us were quite, I have only met quite aspies not met a loud aspie before.
daveforfun22 1 year ago
Buddha said "those who talk to much will be criticised, as will those who talk to little, or don't talk at all. Eveyone is criticised."
milascave 1 year ago
my experiences are equal. u describe it so suitable. i feel so disable with social interactions i dont join any if i dont have to or make myselfe have to.
johmarie7 1 year ago
Yes, another loud aspie here. But I think that people who are seen as odd because we talk to much and say strange things still have it easyer than the painfuly shy ones who don't talk at all. At least by speaking you can gradualy learn to socialize better, but if you are always silent, you won't.
milascave 1 year ago
@milascave i was a quiet almost still child. but my mother allways told me: u have to speak to people otherwise u will go to a different kindergarden where the people are worse. so i became more loud". which scares people away from me!
johmarie7 1 year ago
I was loud pretty much all my life until a couple years ago when I was forced to look at the effects my actions were having on other people. Since then I've been quieter, but it sucks. It takes a lot of energy to process what other people are feeling all the time (I probably put too much energy into this as I'm deathly afraid of slipping up and offending someone) and it drains me. I miss the old days, lol.
I totally relate to mimicking other people's personalities. It's how I learned to fit in.
anmndr 1 year ago
@anmndr same here I usually over analyze people and find it hard to decide what to say back to them, but by the time i make a decision it is too late, leaves me feeling dissapointed
superchrist1000 1 year ago
I have learned to control my rude comments, but i still have them. You can tell when i have one though, because i bite my tongue and chuckle softly
Kingofcorrect 1 year ago
My dd. she's seven and told someone yesterday that they had pirate teeth! She just thought it was funny. You are not alone. I just uploaded a video of her doing a pupet show. Nothing special, I'm just tinkering with youtube. But take a look and see if she seems familiar to you.
staciejung 1 year ago
My dd. she's seven and told someone yesterday that they had pirate teeth! She just thought it was funny. You are not alone.
staciejung 1 year ago
Bullshit man if everybody stopped them selves from speaking just because they thought they may offend someone, the world would be a dull, boring, undeveloped place!
philylennon 1 year ago
Do you often get a bit too loud and hyper?
MargeSimpson20 1 year ago
Sometimes it's like being on or off, but no grey between. It's easier to be behind the computer. I remember as a kid, hiding behind a friend's shed, crying, because "no one wanted to play with me". Of course, it was more that I didn't really know how to interface.
Eye contact is unbearable. Interacting for a defined purpose is great. Social settings are very nonsequitur and unfiltered. Alcohol helps others laugh. Hearing silence behind my tangents can remind me to pause for others' words.
xaminmo 1 year ago
Thanks for making this! My son has some kind of high functioning autism spectrum disorder but hasn't received any official diagnosis. But this always confused me, he's very outgoing, but extremely so. Initially that really threw me off because it seemed so different than how aspergers is usually "defined". But then I realized he was having trouble understanding what was acceptable and unacceptable social behaviors.
redfeather09 1 year ago
I am both very quiet and very loud. I didn't notice this was a symptom of Asperger's until recently, but my fiance would FOREVER be telling me 'You can't even whisper. You whisper really loud!' or 'Why are you yelling?' when I feel like I'm talking normally. In other instances, far fewer, he makes me repeat myself five or six times because I just can't be loud enough. It's ridiculous.
ApollonApostle 1 year ago
i'm a very loud aspie too. i think people might think i'm borderline retarded! oh well: or maybe i have no shame. just kidding, i think. i never know what i think! ha.
marquismyfriend 1 year ago
I would leave a comment but I'm afraid you gonna call me fruit names... ;)
What's so offensive about this, anyway?
I compare people's faces with animals...
Tressco 1 year ago
I often confuse people when I switch between the loud and quiet personas... I can be the annoying loud clingy one or the funny but disruptive one- on the other end of the spectrum I can completely shut down and not communicate. I won't even phone people for important things like the bank or making a doctors' appointment. I feel really bad because it makes it more difficult for people to 'deal with' and support me if the BOTH of us have no idea how I'm going to respond ^^;;;;
0SweetRevenge0 1 year ago
@0SweetRevenge0 Yeah you have a point.
I more mean in social situations. Because I am the class clown half the time, half the time I shut down. Some aspies are just quiet by nature.
AspergersGirl 1 year ago
I'm usually rather quiet, especially around strangers, new people & in public. But, at home with family, or friends I've known quite a while I can sometimes become the loud type XD especially when I start burbling about a fascinating subject. My volume control flies out the window, and it has to be pointed out (>_<)
Kasutei 1 year ago
@Kasutei i m exactly like that. and when i get used to the people i m with i can get very rude and start saying very inappropriate things. HATE THAT, especially when i dont really mean to offend anyone :(
Realjhad 1 year ago
one of them is like "Well if you'd make an effort to listen to other people you'd make more friends". I have really tried to reach out to her and tone it down a little bit but I still come off as strong and sometimes I feel like people are excluding me from conversations because they think of me as being "freaky". So I completely understand you Aspergersgirl and love your videos.
BigD4348 1 year ago
I understand about the butting into conversations part Fiona because I have that problem myself, and it tends to put people off quite a bit Fiona. This is upsetting to me and leads to depression. There is a whole video that I did on this on my channel. I am a Loud Aspie and it is because of that I tend to put off girls and I have such difficulties with relationships. Two of my coworkers think of me as rude and arrogant...PT 1
BigD4348 1 year ago
aspies get it from their parents its hereditary from one or the other parents check your family you may have history of autism in your family
muddygary 1 year ago
Hey! First, I love your videos! Very balanced & real perspective! Personally, being an 'aspie' as well, I'd have to say that I've had similar moments. I've tended to mimic certain personalities in order to socially "vibe". Of course, there are times when I lose this and realize, upon reflection, that I've perhaps said things that touch emotional sore spots without meaning to. Please don't take this offensively but I LOL'd about the Pineapple thing :) I can't say I've ever seen such a person!
nahemia 1 year ago
@nahemia Thanks! :) Interesting comment - I tend to mimic peoples personalities too, i'm very different around different types of people. I guess its a type of trying to fit in.
AspergersGirl 1 year ago
@AspergersGirl Thank you! That is very interesting. In my study of human behaviour and social dynamics, I've read and witnessed first-hand that it is actually a great gift to be able to mirror people to some degree, in order to better connect with them & for them to feel comfortable. Even something as simple as smiling a lot seems to open incredible doors and break down a lot of the social barriers.
nahemia 1 year ago
@AspergersGirl That said, it's always a bit of a challenge, as I usually still have to consciously will myself to do it! I actually only recently came to realize the difficulties that come along with Asperger's. It's mainly due to videos and people such as yourself who are sharing their experiences! It's truly been liberating for me, because I finally feel like I know myself, whereas before I'd constantly wonder what was 'wrong' with me. I'm very high functioning, so I couldnt quite tell before.
nahemia 1 year ago
I am how you described! I'm really tired right now, though, and don't have the energy to write more. Basically, I do what you talked about. I interrupt, poor volume control, I go on and on about a particular subject and not realize I'm boring people or they aren't listening, and saying very random things, etc.
DarkWaterfall 1 year ago
me too, as an adult I blame drink, easier than explaining the condition
therealscottadamsTM 1 year ago
In a real big group im a quiet aspie and wont contribute that much. My randomness helps with that. But one on one conversations Im a loud aspie and end up offending people sometimes.
AllSaintsAngel 1 year ago
Hey... let's face it. Some people DO look like pineapples!
AndVenusSmiled 1 year ago 2
@Locke1217 Why don't you do the world a favour, heed your own advice, and self-immolate?!
AussieAspie 1 year ago
I can assure you that, in my experience (I've met over 100), Loud Aspies are the overwhelming majority. As a quiet (but opinionated and determined) Aspie, I am not timid or bashful in the least - I am anxious and socially phobic. Shyness is a blanket-term which, for the most part does not apply to me. Either way, I like who I am and nothing, not even f*chwit comments from degenerates like Locke1217, is going to change that.
AussieAspie 1 year ago
I don't think thats unique to people with aspergers. I think thats just part of the human condition; you never know when its a good time to talk, what to say, or who may be offended. I think everyone battles with that, regardless of having a syndrome or not. I know I say stupid things a lot, even without aspergers.
IdleGod 1 year ago
I'm definitely a loud aspie. I am better as an adult but still end up saying "What? What?!?" a lot after seeing I offended someone.
My mother bought me a bumper sticker (and me with no car - was 9yo) that said "be sure brain is in gear before engaging mouth". Never worked but was appropriate I suppose.
Great video! Subbed!
allbabiesareatheists 1 year ago
I've noticed my friends with aspergers can be quite loud and I usually have to say keep your voice down, where others in my group keep talking too softly.
What's interesting is the loud ones don't realise when they are saying somthing they prehaps should not say outloud, the quite ones always check and talk softly tho when talking about somthing you shouldn't shout, whatever that may be.
DarkTheAtheist 1 year ago
one of the hallmarks of aspergers/autism and even Attention deficit disorder is having difficulties reading social situations and recognizing personal space. A quiet person is a quiet person regardless of aspergers. An outgoing person without AS will talk a lot but more often than not it will be appropiate and therefore not be noticed. An outgoing aspie will talk a lot but will find that it is oftentimes inapropiate. So I would just say that you are an outgoing person. Nothing wrong with that.
PhilCommander2 1 year ago
I'm just like you. lol
BL00F0X 1 year ago
@BL00F0X
I do have some quiet moments though when I'm asking for something or saying 'thank you' or 'excuse me' but I've gotten better and have made myself say it out loud.
BL00F0X 1 year ago
I simply don't understand why neurotypicals ask questions at all. They expect the answers to be sugar coated in a socially appropriate manner which meets public majority approval. Political correctness, public approval, ans social acceptance are elusive to me. However I do think aspies are kind, empathic, and really honest.
Aspie12345 1 year ago
I'm a quiet aspie. I wish I were louder. I feel that I miss out on a lot due to not saying anything.
slackwarr 1 year ago
I consider myself to be a quiet aspie, often i find myself thinking about what i say before i say something. I sometimes fear what other people would think after i said something or responded to them. I also feel i have a sense of bad timing when it comes to conversations like when to join in a chat amongst my coworkers, family etc. I used to be so timid around other people when i was a kid. So yeah, social situations are still a battlefield for myself even after all these years.
debumaiya 1 year ago
I am by turns loud and quiet. I've had experiences where I've offended people and don't realize it.
Pinhead554 1 year ago
I have attributes to both types. I used to be so scared to respond to people, I would just completely switch off when they talked to me. But I butt into conversations too, and also sometimes cut people off when they're talking. I just feel like I have to get my opinion out when that happens.
MrMoterKid 1 year ago
And while I agree that being quiet has so often saved myself from making a complete fool of myself, it doesn't mean my social skills are any better than those of a "loud version of me". It just means I'm hiding my true self from most of the world, and I'm no better at making friends than the guy who annoys people.
Celebok 1 year ago
I've always been quiet and keep to myself around people I don't know, but when I get comfortable I tend to be louder than most. Sometimes I raise my voice when I get excited and it makes people nervous or uncomfortable.
alphadeus 1 year ago
And I know that people often got annoyed with that guy because he just didn't know when to shut up and had absolutely no sense of when people weren't interested in what he was talking about (usually stuff related to computers or sci-fi or mundane things in his life). It actually made me slightly more reluctant to contribute to conversations, seeing what it actually looked like when a guy verbally expressed the kinds of things I often thought. And it didn't look good to me, either.
Celebok 1 year ago
While I've always been known as the quiet guy, I remember back in college, there was this guy that I came to think of as "the loud version of me", in the sense that he had a loud voice and talked and rambled a lot and would pretty much say whatever was on his mind, whether people were interested or not, and I noticed that a lot of the things he said were thoughts that I had running through my head, only I chose to keep them in my head.
Celebok 1 year ago
I am normally quiet and introverted, but when I am excited or agitated about something I become very loud very quickly, I often get scourned for being too loud
jmantra623 1 year ago