Added: 2 years ago
From: leodragonfire
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  • Glad I already speak English. It would be a bitch to learn.

  • Does anyone know where to find this with a decent volume level?

  • @TheMrBlinx It works OK if you use headphones - that's what I did. Still had to have the volume turned up to the maximum level, but at least I could hear it.

  • He shoulda said "Why do they call it Brain Freeze when you don't feel it in your brain? You feel it in your Sinus. Therefore it should be called "Sinus Freeze"" HAHA

  • You guys now. Studies show. People who watch gallagher on a normal basis r part of the top %5 pecentile of kids. Wow i cannot type. Im gettin thumb tied

  • funny how comedy, leads to de-contextualized bantering on racism. often filled with half truths, that tend to be far worse, than out and out lies.

  • The gold starts at 4:15. :-)

  • Comment removed

  • Gallagher speaks the truth about certain things.

  • This guy is so funny! I like him!

  • Anyone uploaded the Sledge-o-matic portion of this one?

  • I used to ask these kinds of questions when I was younger lol

  • This guy says it like it is BABY!!!

  • Proof that English is the hardest language in the world to learn.

  • They call them cowboys because they're herding cows.

  • @1027dickinson he knows but thats not funny.

  • yeah you have to turn the sound up because i think a lot of today's machines (laptops) don't get very loud.

  • At around 5:33 is where Comedy Central would go to commercial, and the rest of this bit would be edited out! Fuck syndication, and fuck more commercials!

  • If you don't think he's funny, then your not bright enough to understand what he's talking about. Sorry to break it to you. Your stupit.

  • @Deadpool3174 "Sorry to break it to you. Your stupit." You don't say.... Sorry chummy but it looks like, in fact, YOU'RE stupid.

  • It's funny to see a try to be smart by pointing out that he really is d u m. He should have read more before he decided to come with dum allegations ;) Other than the fact that he is a dum racist I find some of what he says funny =)

  • james franco should play gallagher in a bio movie

  • What makes it funny is b/c you really do think about these things when you're young in school, I did anyway!

  • Has anyone tried watching this with the CC captions on? Its hilarious its so terrible :)

  • this is great... i had no idea until now how funny he is. i knew him for the big sledgehammer but this is right along the lines of George Carlin right here. its fascinating about the English Language.

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  • @klaasjanBerbatov he's a thinking mans comedian of common sense.....you obviously don't have any imagination or creative mind......stick to your stupid toilet humor like snl

  • i'm sorry, but i disagree. he's fairly adept at pointing out the obvious. i don't watch snl so i can't really stick to it. i mean you did assume quite a bit in your last comment.

  • 0:35 kind of like your shows today...

  • Who cares if it is racist a lot of comedians make stereotypical/racist jokes. It's because it's funny, and they will still say them as long as people laugh at them

  • Hell I dont know the guy personally; let him be racist and homophobic if he wants to. It wont stop me from laughing at him if he says something funny. I mean really does anything else matter anyway. If your worried about someone being racist its because you want to be able to do/say what they do/say. Any geneticist or sociologist worth his salt will tell you that we are different shades of the same color. So whats the problem?

  • Is it just me, or is this video super quiet?

  • @kamikazechipmunk the sound is super low, then you forget you have the volume pumped up just to hear the sound and when you go to another video you end up getting blasted out of the room.

  • @kamikazechipmunk It is. I've heard worse though.

  • is that Jamie Gillis at 3:11?

  • 4:40 bomb....Gallagher was way ahead of his time

  • As an English major, I love his stuff.

  • I love Galagher, he's a college grad, so, don't call this guy dumb! he's witty, and very entertaining.

  • I love Galagher, he's a college grad so don't call this guy dumb! he's witty, and very entertaining.

  • So are people crying because he said something about the japanese language? Well he proceeded to point out logical flaws in the english language so it didnt sound as if he was glorifying it. I say.......

    "Shut your pussy-holes up. Comedy is a place where anything goes. Racism, politics, religion is all fodder. If you cant deal with it, fuck ya."

  • why are all these comments saying this video is racist? i'm super confused..

  • Touch --> Couch

  • shooooom.... thats the sound of my hand sweeping over my head

  • I don't give a shit if Gallagher was racist. He was a funny, funny guy. Everyone has their prejudices or biases. If he grew up in this generation he might have been every bit as liberal as your average modern American, but he didn't, and he wasn't. No big deal. It was a different time period.

  • yet another reason the '80s were the worst decade in human history.

  • @openhead this was the 70's

  • @irishpitbull22 possible, but unlikely. judging by the shit littering the stage, this is not a guest appearance, but one of his specials, the first of which, according to imdb, was not until the 80s. unless, of course, you have specific knowledge of what show this came from. if so, please keep it to yourself, because i don't really give a fuck.

  • I have been looking for this for so long, I cannot believe I finally found it lol he is the funniest comedian of all time next to carlin and pryor!! lol love it!!!!!!! NUMB!!

  • N-U-M-B!!!

  • Is Gallagher not a staunch conservative christian. And he's preaching about individualism..... well thats interesting. Ha!

  • @ToxicMayo9 Conservatives and Christian's like individualism idiot.

  • What a hick.

  • Love this. Which tape is it off of?

  • @tawnyamay

    it was a showtime special from the early '80s

  • Gallagher is actually a racist, homophobic, misogynistic asshole... basically a Ted Nugent who smashes fruit instead of shooting guns.

    Seriously, do a Google search. He flaunts it.

  • @publicservant7 And this makes him different from how many other humans, HOW??? Far as I can tell, you're just jealous cos you didn't think of it yourself. Laugh with the videos and get over it. Gallagher's a genius.

  • keep in mind that American English is a hybrid of several languages including French, German, Dutch, Irish, Arabic and others. That being said, this skit is FUNNY!

  • he should be an english teacher seriously he could make a lot of money everybody would want him as a teacher

  • Classic, I left a show with a shirt full of spagteo and watermellon

  • I'm impressed. I didn't know Gallagher had this side to him... I just thought he was a silly guy who hit watermelons with a sledgehammer. I respect this guy now.

  • @ananxlxl Haha yeah, I guess you can't become one of the most desired comedians at that time by JUST hitting watermelons

  • @eiddezepope lol It's my least favorite part of his acts!

  • Which video is this skit from?

  • @jammindude Totally New/Too Real

  • Yeah, I've heard that English is the hardest language to learn b/c of all the kinds of things he is talking about. Then you have to figure too about how the same item is known by different words according to what part of the country you are in. Like how soft drinks are referred to as "pop" in many areas and "soda" in many others. Then you also have to consider the different dialects making the same word pronounced completely different in one area than another! It boggles the mind doesn't it?lol

  • @JoviAngel60 lol ya reet there chuck tha kna's wat thas on abart :)

  • LMAO!

    If that's what he thinks about the English language, I'd love to hear his thoughts on the "zero tolerance" policies in schools.

  • Brilliant.

  • *hrm* anyone else cook their bakies..? :)

  • He shoulda said "Why are cookies if you don't "cook" them? You 'BAKE" them! Therefore they should be called "Bakies!"" HAHA

  • @CrazyDiamond5321 lol i happen to know too many "Bakies" lol i believe they're in charge of my city's law enforcement

  • Why is his right hand weird?

  • @NLHADLEY he had broken his arm, and it was in a cast

  • @NLHADLEY it is fake part of a joke.

  • @NLHADLEY if you ever get to see the whole special you'll see the stunt he was performing when he hurt himself. he was on skis, being pulled by a boat on a trailor, being pulled buy a car. hilarious in theory, yet didnt quite make it to fruition

  • and who sold them into slavery in the first place

  • every time i hear "good food" i instantly think of this!! hahaha

  • he is funny

  • Anyone remember which performance this clip is from? I have the 3-disc box set of his stand up performances but this one isn't on it.

  • I have the sledge-o-matic collection that has all his performances up until 2006. this is from "Totally New"

  • Wow this thread went WAY off topic. How about focusing back to commenting on the video and its contents which happens to be pretty witty:)

  • coming from Detroit and being american indian and white, i could give you stories about racist blacks that would freeze your heart, including the cops and 2 of the mayors!

    I'm sick of whining PC idiots who have to hyphenate everything. Deal with it or go check out, PLEASE?!?!

  • Gallagher was my hero, as a kid. His jokes are intelligent enough, and yet he wraps it up with mindless smashing of just about anything he can get at a grocery store! A comical genius!

    And it's not like he just says "Ok, next up, an apple..." *smash*

    He works it around jokes. "ANYONE WANT SOME APPLE SAUCE?!" *smashes a plate of apples*

    It was mindlessness meets intelligence.

    This guy seriously needs to come out of retirement, and give us one more special!

  • I remember he did the sledge o matic one time with an apple, and then he pulls out another apple and shouts "YOU WERE'NT WATCHING!!!!!!!" And another time, he smashed Ajax, shouting "SLEDGE-O-MATIC CLEANS!" lol!

  • Hell yes!

    I remember him dunking it really hard into a bucket of mop-water, making the same claim.

    "look at that! cleans that fast."

  • He complain in his AV Club video about comedians wearing dark shirts against a dark curtain. I guess it took him 30 years to figure that out.

  • also he hates on gays? he does not but i will. Gay meant happy but now it means stupid, oh and in between i meant homosexual. Shall we talk about the natural progression of the word fag.

  • How can you possibly mock the person that created most modern puns and act as if he stole all of his jokes, from himself.

  • he also hates on gays for no reason other then he can't think of anything better then 'R U GHEEEY??'

    He's mostly just upset and bitter that nothing goes the way he wants it to and his career is dead.

  • Classic!

  • I worked with this joke thief/racist last night in St. Paul, Mn. He openly STEALS jokes from the wonderful, late George Carlin, and has become SUCH A RACIST it is mind blowing. It's sad when entertainers become so jaded and bitter they turn into THIS douchebag. I pray it doesn't happen to me.

  • Racist? What did he do that was racist?

  • I witnessed him tell the venue owner to keep "Negroids" out of the front row, that they are distracting, and will STEAL his watermelons. That racist enough for you?

  • @darylhorner I can't help but think you're full of it. Especially since we can easily find videos of people at or near the front. Hell in this VERY video. So don't make crap up.

  • WHy don't you contact the OWNER of Station4 in St. Paul mn rather than accuse me of lying? WHat are you? His mother? Because his FAMILY doesn't even communicate with him anymore!

  • And yet, Dave Chappelle, Eddie Griffen, and so on, can rag on white people constantly, and no one screams "RACIST!!"

    Funny how that works out, huh?

  • He didn't "rag" on shit. He told the OWNER of a club "NO NIGGERS"..That's ragging?

  • Point is, Eddie Griffen and Dave Chapelle are also blatantly racist, but no one says anything to them.

    Hmm....I wonder why....

  • that may be YOUR point. My point is that Gallagher is a racist. ANd if you want to see the difference between "racial" and "racist", watch PAUL MOONEY. He is racist, chapelle and Griffin (BTW, Eddie Griffin is terrible, Chapelle is regarded in our community as a genius) are "racial". There is a HUGE difference. I don't hear anyone complaining about Jeff Dunham who is blatantly "racial" and homophobic with his stupid ass puppets, and he is white.

  • Ok, but now let me ask you this...who fucking cares if he's racist? He's still funny, and pretty damn smart.

    And as long as he makes me laugh, I don't give a fuck what he is.

  • insane. SO if Hitler was FUNNY, that's all that would have mattered? NUTS.

  • Gallagher never killed anyone, did he?

  • I'm confused with your argument. I stated AS A FACT that this hack ass fruit smasher is a KNOWN racist, and when you could not prove to the contrary, you changed the argument...You sure you don't work for FOXNews?

  • I didn't change my argument.

    You compared him to Hitler.

    There's a huge difference between a simple racist, who never actually hurts anyone, just "hates" them, and someone who attempts genocide.

    Who gives a fuck if he's racist, as long as he doesn't hurt anyone?

    I'm willing to bet that if you knew how many celebrities really ARE racist, Gallagher would likely be the least of your worries.

    Ok, the day he swings that fucking hammer at a black guy, then we'll talk.

  • Why is the first thing I read in the comment section of a fucking GALLAGHER video, "You compared him to Hitler"

    Oh screw it, I do not even want to know XD XD XD

  • @blackwingangel04 Because everyone's supposed to feel sorry for black people, because their ancestors were slaves and that makes us lower than them, and excuses them from any racial expressions. While the truth is that none of today's generations had anything to do with slavery. It's history, and I'm not responsible for what my great grand daddy did. And my black friends do not and DID NOT feel "the pain" of slavery. They just heard about it....

  • @AbnoNothing:

    Exactly. Slavery is no excuse for anything. Especially since nearly EVERY race has been slaves to someone else.

  • @blackwingangel04 Racism is okay if you are the race being made fun of. The N word is okay for blacks cause the N word is about the blacks.

  • @KenobiMan420

    No it is not.

    And nigger is not "ok" for black people, just because the person saying it is black. It's still the same insult. I can't call a fellow redhead a "ginger" without risking insulting them. The fact that I myself am also a redhead, does not change that fact.

  • @blackwingangel04 Wow way to fly off the handle. First of all, I was using sarcasm, smartass. Second of all, "ginger" ins't a fucking insult. It describes a persons hair color. My friends call me a ginger all the time but I DONT GIVE A FLYING SHIT because it refers to a hair color, NOT A RACE.

  • @KenobiMan420 So it's ok to hate someone for their hair color, but not skin color?

    And Ginger IS an insult. It's been used for hundreds of years, by those who think that we are "soulless children of Satan".

    Did you know, we were once burned at the stake, because red hair was deemed the mark of a witch, in some parts of the world? Even if our hair was considered favorable, and adored, in other areas, the fact is, we've known FAR MORE hatred, than any race, in history.

  • @blackwingangel04 Hmm. I never knew that about the word "ginger". I have red hair as do several of my family members, and I also have a red headed cousin who's actual name happens to be Ginger! So that's a very interesting thing to learn! I also never knew that about red hair being seen as a mark of a witch in some parts of the world. That's very interesting as well. Thanks!

  • @JoviAngel60

    Yeah, wikipedia is a fun tool to play with. You never know what you can learn.

  • @blackwingangel04 eddie gfiffin and dave chappelle (notice the correct spelling of both of their names) make racial jokes. that does not make them racist.

    gallagher is full of hate for other races, and therefore a racist.

    you're welcome.

  • @openhead EVERYONE DEEP DOWN IS FUCKING RACIST NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE A RACIST FUCK ASWELL SO DONT HATE ON EVERYONE ELSE WE ARE ALL EQUALS .equaly Racist

  • @MrPeiceofmind666 Touche, I agree with you man, that everyone deep inside is a fuckin racist. Even I.

  • @MrPeiceofmind666 easily the most retarded comment on youtube.

  • @blackwingangel04 why would you say that? explain

  • @blackwingangel04 yeah...I guess that's true, but... In my experince, people that make remarks like yours' are often racists, themselves.

  • @blackwingangel04 Well, blacks for hundreds of Hundreds of Years were forced to be slaves, and wokr for No pay and be hung because of the color of their Skin. Don't you think after all of that horrible Past in African American Generations that they deserve some exceptions to the rule? The Average African American are racist because they do not like the horrible things, white Americans, British and many other countries have done to their people. in another 400 years maybe they will stop. lmao

  • @Amishacker No, they don't deserve an exception to the rule, because none of them alive today have ever seen a day of slave-labor. You don't get to benefit from pain you've never suffered.

  • @blackwingangel04 Well No slavery was outlawed in 1865, BUT Most Blacks still to this day do not get the same pay as the White American Male, same goes for Women. White Americans do have all the Advantages in this country, but the Country is changing that little by little. One day every single Citizen of this Country WILL recognize every person is equal no matter their color, sex, Creed or Sexual Orientation. The Biggots will soon all die off, and this will be a better country for it.

  • @blackwingangel04 and finally slavery was abolished... from the land of the United States. It still happens in the US today through the black market and "sex slaves", people kidnap children from Vietnam or the surrounding areas and put them up for sale on the black market - once in a while an american will disobey the law and purchase them.

  • @Amishacker Well actually its not past tense as its STILL happening today, you just don't hear much about it. They were NOT kidnapped by Caucasians in order to be slaves, they were actually sold by their own people in Africa to help their village or were sold to Caucasians from tribes conquering other tribes. We then brought them to the Caribbean islands to auction them (all of this is included in the part of the story historians and educators tend to leave out).

  • @Amishacker Then they were distributed between the Caribbean islands and North America as workers without pay, known as slaves, which did NOT start with Africans, they go back to the dawn of civilization - it was understood by all that if your country/city-state were to be conquered you would be a slave to the conqueror, after all of this time a man by the name of Abraham Lincoln came around and did not like the idea of slavery, he and Congress outlawed it and thus the Civil War began. North won

  • @blackwingangel04 cos everyone knows he doesn't mean it. if they do then they're stupid cos he doesnt'.

  • it is called a t.v. set because it is tele(sound) and vision (see) it provides both.

  • The joke from that lie was not withing T.V. but withinn "set" . Because it's not a set

  • yes it is a set , you get both, hearing and seeing., thats why it is called a set .

  • 0:46 even the audience thinks this sucks.

  • ya the applaude really gave it away. lol your an idiot just because one pperson out of the crowd has a straight face doesnt mean the whole aaudience hates it.

  • you're*

  • She was probably a Home Ec. teacher.

  • They were Home Ec teachers.

  • Acid is a hard drug, kids.

  • It should be: sum, num, dum, etc

    If it was like this I think children would have a MUCH easier time learning to read and write. I mean what is the point in teaching children the sounds of letters if NOTHING is spelled like it sounds and you can hardly apply the rules to ANY word.

  • I think what you are saying applies to English. In Spanish, for example, words are pretty much spelt how they are pronounced.

  • I've studied German, Italian and French and once you learn the sounds of the letters you can spell ANY WORD, everyting is spelled like it sounds. I dunno why English is so weird.

  • English is weird because the language is literally a grab-bag of different tongues, spoken by people who occupied the island at various period of time.

  • @pgy002 It's a mixture of several languages like Norman, Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic. That's why it has such a massive vocabulary.

  • @pgy002 Its because English has so many words that are from other languages and different letters that make different sounds.

  • @pgy002 Because, back in the olden times when Britain was known as Britannia, they wanted to make an impossible language to spell. That way, the foreigners would be easily spotted.

  • I'm sorry but English spelling is DUMB! Which SHOULD be spelled DUM!

  • Or DOME :P

  • Actually I think it should be: sum, dum, num, etc

  • That is one thing about the English Language- Especially the various American versions of the English Language....

    Many words are Pronounced differently in different locations.

    For example, in a strong southern drawl, the Number Nine can sound like "Non." The Number Four can sound like "Foer."

    Some various cultures in the US often will even ad or skip pronouncing certain Syllables, too.

    Many English scholars will concur that the English language is the most difficult to learn.

  • This guy is just too hilarious. I've seen him in person and laughed so hard I cried

  • its people like you that are responsible for everything wrong in the world.. i blame you for september 11th

  • You blame ME for it, Jeez I was actually asleep when it happened, when I woke up and turned the TV on it was all over the news, yes I can see how it was MY fault.

  • I think this guy escaped from a mental health nursing facility. How does my thinking gallagher is funny have anything to do with terrorist activities. At least his comedy is clean and not full of curse words and racism

  • my bad i waznt tryn to just take it from you.. i just love that skit!!! so i raised the volume and cleared it up a little bit....just did it out of love for the skit

  • This was typical to alot of comedy of the 80s, people didn't have to get up there and say the word FUCK 50 million times and tell a bunch of lude sex jokes to be funny.

  • Agree

  • @pgy002 YEAH, it was like the 90s was the official decade were everyone would let loose and go say "FUCK" anytime they went, and they still do now.

  • I was laughing my ass off! I've always wondered WHY English spelling is so sloppy and shitty. I know you;ll say something like if I dont like it get the hell out of the country, but HONESTLY who sits and makes up this shit? gnat, knot, pneumonia, knight,

    This guy is intelligent IMO.

  • Mostly because most of the language came from other European languages and brought their own spelling rules with them. Only a small fraction were able to read so the written word and the way it was pronounced with English accents diverged. It wasn't until the early 1600's that English dictionaries were assembled and by then the "damage" was already done.

  • yeah gallagher really taught you something.. maybe now you dont have to go back to school and get your grade 10 you stupid idiot.

  • Vai in culo a tua madre, stronzo!

  • @pgy002 and they get pissy when you dont spell all the dumb shit that dont make sense right.

  • @pgy002 I think that the origins of the silent letters is from the changes in pronunciation over time. But for some reason we kept the letters there. Some people reckon that words like wind and unkind would have rhymed in Shakespears time, but now they don't. Languages evolve and change but it is weird. Webster the guy who tried to standardise English for the USA had a sensible idea and started dropping letters we don't use anymore. Colour became color etc. We're probably just traditionalists.

  • @pgy002

    Little bit of research and you'd realize that Monty Python had it right.

    It's used to be genat, kanot, peumonia, and Kniggit.

    And if everything is spelled like it sounds, how come we have woher (voher), pizza (pitza), and oui (wee) in these other languages? German, Italian, and French each have their bit of silly, and English is their illegitimate love child. The one nobody speaks about.

  • @Jzephyrus I know French spelling is different than English BUT when you leanr the sounds of the letters and the alphabet you can spell ANY word just by the way it sounds.

  • @pgy002 flegm, lieutenant (british), and the "ough" sound is different every time you read it: through, though, tough, thought, hiccough, et cetera .. it's like .. WTF is wrong with you guys?!

  • @pgy002 I think the stumper of all stumpers in the English language is the word COLONEL........it's pronounced KERNAL, but spelled COLONEL

  • @LarryB1984 I KNOW!!!! Good night!!! Who come up with this stuff? I used to spell it Kernal when I was little, I think I remember a time when KFC was called Colonel Sanders, and I could almost swear I remember seeing a sign that said "Kernal Sanders"

  • @LarryB1984 What about bologna? :)

  • N-U-M-B!!!

    LOL

  • this shit don't make sense, i'm quitting lmao!!

  • And people think he just smashes fruit!

  • I agree

  • I have always adored Gallagher! It's a shame so many people dislike him because all they see is him smashing fruit. Kinda like the 3 Stooges....if you actually listen to the jokes instead of just the slapstick, you'll see they are very clever!!

  • CORNY COMEDY

  • i love this guy.