NEW CHUCK NORRIS JOKES

[2305Fitzy]

Chuck Norris has a toy box. Its called Area 51.

LMFAO sang im sexy and I know it. Chuck Norris sings im sexy and everybody knows it.

Chuck Norris drove a diesel car, with petrol.

Chuck Norris knocked down the berlin wall, in one go, with his thumb.

Chuck Norris cant get cut and if he does molten iron comes out.

[stupidstudiosproduct]

chuck norris once solved a rubicks cube the transformers called it the all spark

[mynicknameisunit88]

Chuck Norris isn't that big deal, if he was he would smash my face into the keyboard. See? Nothing happened.

[DVSPQN]

Chuck Norris doesn't play video games. He goes to wherever the game takes place and fights them from there.

[quinnpwnz]

TIM ALLEN >

[inAnothertime83]

one should be very afraid when they don't see chuck norris lol these are some pretty good ones :)

[soraura99]

omg this is so good

[007mano1]

they found his son, check it here /watch?v=S-Awy9o513k

[Heros4gold]

Hilarious, those are some good ones

[foe014]

@Tarik5043 He got his ass beat on a movie. But Bruce Lee still would fuck him up in a legit fight, hands down. lmao It would be a good fight to see o.0

[XMysteryCrafter]

Jesus can walk on water , Chuck Norris swims through land. Chuck Norris died years ago death just didn't build up the courage to tell him.

[buffalolacrosse0888]

God can walk on water, Chuck Norris can walk on God...

[colorinthemoon]

@buffalolacrosse0888 gay... youre a fag

[Optimisticalman]

One day Chuck Norris got hit by a car. Chuck Norris was sued for damages.

[gsmfbsjetc]

chuck norris isnt that tough anymore...he's old, new tough guy its either batman or hulk, cause either could beat chuck norris

[greghasafro]

chuck norris was on scare tacticts but he gave a person a heart attack when he scared the person

[greghasafro]

chuck norris can solve a rubix cube with one move

[greghasafro]

chuck norris cant knock someone out he just kills them

[greghasafro]

chuck norris can watch a thriller movie and not be thrilled

[greghasafro]

chuck norris can have sex with you but when he is done your in a coma

[greghasafro]

chuck norris had sex with satan there kids name is chuckie

[greghasafro]

chuck norris isnt 70 he is just waiting for us to get wise enough to know he is older then earth

[greghasafro]

by the time you call chuck norris stupid your either dead or about to be

[greghasafro]

chuck norris has the holy grail just nobody brave enough to ask him for his favorite coffee mug

[greghasafro]

chuck norris killed all the vampires thats why there called the undead

[greghasafro]

chuck norris can make this joke be funny

[TheEddyEzmo]

if you google search "find chuck norris" on i'm feeling lucky it's really funny

[SuperMagicman11]

bruce lee almost killed chuck norris why is bruce lee dead and chuck norris? because chuck norris is to scared of bruce lee

[darkstarsk8r1]

Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with one bird

[Eastwoodisboss]

You look under your bed for the Boogie man. the Boogie man looks under his bead for Chuck Norris.

[alexthedarklord]

when chuck norris dies (if chuck norris dies) he is not really dead he is just kicking the devil's ass

[MrMyopic123]

Chuck Norris can skydive through ocean water.

[snoopster9997]

Chuck Norris gets mad when you say ''Chuck Norris jokes'' because they are facts.

[koshti09]

Oh yeah? If Chuck Norris was so great, he'd take my head and slam it on the keyboarabnfuiabviuabivuabviuai­dfbvhibvhfavibihbgiar baguahbu guya g ay gy ugf uygf uiegyu ua fyfaygfayugfayugfyuagfbagy uia

[snoopster9997]

Chuck Norris can't have a clone because there would be too much awesomeness in the world.

[snoopster9997]

Chuck Norris doesn't sing the Gummy Bear Song, gummy bears sing the Chuck Norris Song

[snoopster9997]

If you replace Chuck Norris with George Lucas there would be at least 6 more Star Wars movies.

[snoopster9997]

Yoda teaches jedi how to use the force. Chuck Norris teaches Yoda how to teach jedi to use the force.

[snoopster9997]

Chuck Norris doesn't subscribe to RayWJ. RayWJ subscribes to Chuck Norris.

[snoopster9997]

Chuck Norris doesn't get frost bite he bites frost.

[snoopster9997]

If your body is a temple than Chuck Norri's body is Heaven.

[snoopster9997]

All the continents were once one land mass but that was until Chuck Norris wanted a more of a challenge to travail around the world in eighty days. It was still too easy to for him.

[snoopster9997]

The Big Bad Wolf couldn't blow down a brick house with three pigs inside while Chuck Norris could blow down a steel castle with a dozen elephants inside.

[snoopster9997]

If men came from Mars and women came from Venues then Chuck Norris came from Jupiter.

[snoopster9997]

Chuck Norris doesn't mispronounce things you just have bad hearing.

[snoopster9997]

Chuck Norris auditioned for American Idol. He got one yes and that was from Randy. The next season Paula and Simon left.

[snoopster9997]

Monster trucks are afraid of Chuck Norri's Mini Cooper.

[jojo777baybay]

there are no steroids in sports, only people chuch norris has breathed on

[emily777ism]

chuck norris doesnt sleep, he waits

[jdog1425]

Chuck Norris can watch the 60 minute show in a half hour

[TheRandomlittleman]

chuck noris is not afraid of the dark , the dark is afraid of chuck noris

[tuesdayblackmon]

R!ght on S)-(ortstaCk !!!

[MrBlakedwayne]

chuck norris is so bad he lost his verginity before his dad

[samsrkewl]

Chuck Norris has been to Mars, that's why there is no sign of life there...

[igs90210]

chuck norris took a vacation to the virgin islands now they're just called the islands.

[jojo777baybay]

one day chuck norris decided to sell his pee as a drink; we now know it as redbull 

[Mrmoc7]

When Chuck Norris got accepted into Medical school, all the corpses in the anatomy lab woke up and ran away.

[ecchibanzaii]

What's Pokeymain cards?

[Unavaiala]

Chuck Norris can shoot a cyclops between the eyes.

[MJandtheWitches]

Epic Win!!!

[crazymonkeymw2]

god created the world, chuck norris created god, and all of his movies

[JustATheist]

and God said, "Let there be light."

Chuck Norris reply, "I'm alright with this."

The then there was light.

[PandaGenocide666]

when you sit on chuck norris's penis you immediately qualify for the mile high club

[timedragon1]

I heard allot of these but it was awesome to hear new ones

[Tarik5043]

fuck that chuck norris shit he got his ass beat by the Legendary Bruce Lee

[greghasafro]

@Tarik5043 in the next few weeks you WILL DIE !!!

[Ramsonpwndz]

@Tarik5043 Bruce Lee > Chuck Norris... wich is why he killed him by putting untraceable poison in his drink ;)

Chuck Norris: fuck yea.

Me:fuck you.

[colorinthemoon]

@Tarik5043 Fuck yeah, chuck is good, but he ain't a god like bruce lee :)

[XBestZombieX]

Chuck Norris makes porn for the blind lol

[razorramone63139]

Chuck Norris didn't get a quarter from the tooth fairy as a child. He got diamonds.

[smoshloverr1101]

chuck norris pierces his ears by biting his ear lobes

[smoshloverr1101]

chuck norris dosent kill time time kills itself for chuck norris

[smoshloverr1101]

chuck norris makes air drumming sound fantastic

[smoshloverr1101]

facebook is not the only social network,its also the shape of your face after chuck norris roundhouse kicks you in the face

[smoshloverr1101]

chuck norris knows the answer to everything:chuck norris

[smoshloverr1101]

goku and superman once had a baby it was chuck norris

[spacedeserter]

@smoshloverr1101 That underestimates him. It makes him look like even ME can beat him. It's, Jesus is God' son. Chuck norris is God's father.

[smoshloverr1101]

chuck norris broke the Da Vinchi code with his fist

[smoshloverr1101]

chuck norris gives freddy kruger nightmares

[smoshloverr1101]

theres no such thing as a tornado chuck norris just hates trailer parks

[smoshloverr1101]

some ppl watch funny videos while chuck norris watches scary videos because he gets a (roundhouse) kick out of them

[flatbat13]

guns carry chuck norris for protection!

[TheWwe619fan]

very good my vids are horrible compared to yours

[gutarsuperstar]

chuck norris roundhouse kicks dont realy kill you........they wipe your entire existance from the space time continuum

[DjVickySlick]

your upper lip is ugly as fuck

[spacedeserter]

@DjVickySlick Dude, thatwas dryer than the sahara desert. Don't insult people. Cuz you'll get pwned right back.

[TheDellanator]

He's subscribed to me =D

[lilypad797]

haha fuunny!!

[TheMrSponge1]

Chuck Norris supports Whaling. He believes every man has the right to catch whatever he can with his bear hands.

[JerFhilm]

Flagged for animal abuse - beating a dead horse.

[MisterOverpowered]

chuck norris likes cake

[NostalgicJoey]

Your jokes are amazing ^_^

[cooljulius]

haha fun video ;)

chuck norris watches a movie with 15 hours long 3 times a day.

[Blayden69]

Chuck norris doesn't use condomns . When he wants to have sex with a women he puts his penis on another women and then has sex like that

[sonicboy1949]

chuck norris isnt afraid of the dark....the dark is afraid of chuck norris

[runescapeplox123]

HAHAHAHA This killed me! Literally.

[Silentsenior09]

Chuck Norris runs so fast he can punch himself in the back of the head

[TheUnderOfficer]

the 9 people who disliked this video are already dead - no prizes for guessing why

[14ihateyouall]

i seriously laughed for the whole video

I LOVE YOU! aha

[JyonasanVolkov]

This was hilarious!

I love it!

[BugoyFantasy]

lol your really funny thanks for the add!

[laserman418]

They say that under chuck norisses beard there is no chin, just another fist

[shawnswssd]

their is no such thing as tornadoes it just chuck norris hates trailer parks

[lcnorlak]

Bruce Lee doesn't teach martial arts. Martial arts teaches itself.

[spacedeserter]

@lcnorlak

That joke was an epic fail.

[shawnswssd]

chuck norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass at night

[froggyandmomo]

chuck norris keep his old hair an put it back on!!

[Drewbag49]

Chuck Norris doesn't win the lottery, the lottery wins CHUCK NORRIS

[MrMightyArmour]

Pff.. Chuck Norris is nothing... Spongebob knows how to grill underwater.

[staboymalibu94]

Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity. Chuck Norris went out............... and found it

[phreek4u]

when Chuck Norris goes to bed he looks under the bed for Bruce Lee...

[xXJGP04Xx]

It's not aimbot, it's just Chuck Norris

[IreignOnUrParade2]

Chuck Norris is just some stupid actor that the internet randomly chose to say stupid things about if he was real then he we come to my house and beat my face into the keyboard fhjaklh feuiwq e-q4 7321dfl ;sao4uifhad;pofaj aslk;fjwo3540 53dsa6d ajeoa jdlaksJKLshsdhf D

[MasterGaming101]

@IreignOnUrParade2 he is real...look...he's behind you NO DONT LOOK! he'll just slip behind you again

[1youstink2iamcool]

@IreignOnUrParade2 i FUKN LOVE UR COMMENT

[IreignOnUrParade2]

@1youstink2iamcool thx ya i just got back from the hospital from that incident too im never commenting like that again :0

[topdoginthepin]

@IreignOnUrParade2 fucking joke thief ... -_-

[kelymurphree]

chuck norris joke when you hick chuck norris in the nuts you fell it

[sebytz92]

You look like Eminem except with no talent.

[PowerLord83]

@sebytz92 Not every white guy with little hair looks like him :P

Show me ur talent then :D

[mannofthehaus]

chuck norris can make stevie wonder flinch

[xOPTICxAMGx]

when chuck norris goes in for a dunk the backboard breaks itself

[Bioniclefan45]

@halo123halo1234 Nope, arrows take Chuck Norris to the knee

[xoamandaxlynnxo]

I love you.

[Chandraamukhi]

jesus walked on water

chuck norris swims through land

[JustATheist]

You will do well in the vision of Youtube's future. You are also a good reason for me to never use this site again. Thank you for both reminders.

[lovepoison102]

Lmao, some of the facts below are hilarious!

[Suiax]

When Chuck Norris plays Halo, He doesn't Teabag, or Potato Sack his enemies. He Cargo Drops them! 

[LarryBTV]

lmao it killed 50 people...then it blew up

[StrawberryLipgloss13]

I was going to dislike this video, but then I took a Chuck Norris to the face, and died.

[StrawberryLipgloss13]

Best one yet!

[AllDayEveryDayImLmao]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer to bad he never cries....

Chuck Norris is the reason waldo is hiding

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. ALWAYS.

[AllDayEveryDayImLmao]

When Chuck Norris does a pushup he isn't pushing himself up,he's pushing the earth down....

Chuck Norris uses acid for mouthwash.... Chuck Norris tearscure cancer to bad he never cries.... Chuck Norris is the reason waldo is hiding

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. ALWAYS.

Lol

[AllDayEveryDayImLmao]

Lmao

[SketchyNobody]

you already said one a these jokes in another video haha

[Bioniclefan45]

When A.G Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

It is convenient to be near a hospital when you get injured, it is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave

Chuck Norris won American Idol using sign language

When Chuck Norris plays Pac-Man, the ghosts stay in their box

A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over, the cop was lucky to leave with a warning

Life insurance premiums are based on how far you live from Chuck Norris.

[eraldin12]

Chuck Norris died several years ago. Death just hasn't build up the balls to tell him.

[TeenWithACamera]

When chuck norris does steriods, the steriods get strong

[Feleciapink22]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because he's afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

[daGingaNinja11]

In america, Chuck Norris kicks you and you die

In soviet russia, Chuck Norris still kicks you and you still die

[Bioniclefan45]

Chuck Norris doesn't pay attention, attention pays Chuck Norris

[TheHandsomeSausage]

@Bioniclefan45 HAHAAHAH nice !

[399Oddball]

When chuck Norris went to Mexico, they asked if he was the new matador. He replied no, I'm the bull

[spacedeserter]

In Soviet Russia, Chuck norris don't kick your ass, he kick your face.

[chinadistored22]

In Soviet Russia Chuck Norris still kicks your ass

[Prometheus720]

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. He can also pop a wheelie on a unicycle.

[chinifilyjeremy]

Chuck Norris used to be cool, then he did a World of Warcraft commercial

[t3hxl337xnub]

@chinifilyjeremy agreed l0l

[tfkxero]

@chinifilyjeremy chuck norris just made world of warcraft the biggest game in history by doing that commercial

he could do the same thing with genocyde too but hes a good guy

[spacedeserter]

@ystewy He said pokeMAN. Listen better please.

[RedZone2011]

If Chuck Norris re-recorded the Rebecca Black song Friday, it would be the most popular song on itunes

[PlayerHaterk87]

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number, you just pick up the wrong phone.

[SuperTwon29]

chuck norris's tears can cure cancer. too bad he doesnt cry

[SuperTwon29]

when chuck Norris is fucking guys, it's not because he's gay but because he ran out of women.

a man once claimed he had sex with 10000 women in a month. chuck Norris calls it a slow Tuesday.

chuck Norris can eat 1000 hot dogs in 1 hour. he spends the first 55 minutes fucking the girl who served him the hot dogs.

love the videos

[PSICaptain615]

chuck norris is the inventor of Chun Kuk Do.

[Bioniclefan45]

@PSICaptain615 Doesn't count, cause that's true.

[PSICaptain615]

@Bioniclefan45 i beg to differ he said FACTS, btw he hits hard as fuck. i let him hit me for a demonstration at a martial arts tourney a few years ago...OW

[Sunshinecutie25]

love it haha so funny

[TheUSAF11]

"The marines are the worlds best fighting force only because chuck norris has not created one of his own"

[afleitikh3]

I love the smell of norris in the morning!