July 27: How Nerdfighters Drop Insults

[Bookwormsociety]

Are you calling my mother a pox ridden wench? Are you calling my father a goodly rotten apple? But he ain't even a goodly rotten apple though.

[johanviland]

Thou surly full-gorged hag-seed!

[narwalluvr]

The Yiddish language is really the place to go for insults. For example, ever need to say, "may you grow like an onion with your head in the ground"? Because if you did.... you could say "Er zol vaksen vi a tsibeleh, mit dem kop in drerd!"

[CustardStig]

I'm learning the whole "Nerd Insult" speech for drama. And then I will preform it. IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. I might even find a Nerdfighter!

....This'll be fun.

[LaRecessionistaFiles]

OMG I feel soo behind. You have read soo many books.

[graceoliviacarter]

You have so many books I have been forced to reduce my home library to one shelf :(

[xAmaStarx]

u r a nurd :D

[crazychaoticcool]

This video just gave my home library a Napoleon Complex.

[1Riddled]

u r a nurd.

[Natenator77]

The world's smartest man poses no more of a threat to me than it's smartest termite... Who am I? ;D

[caitlinn777]

so does augustus waters!

[TheQuantumCheese]

can i move into your library please...

[mlemleh]

You have to separate them with the wicker basket.... gold.

[ThatAwesomeElyse]

looking for alaska. haha i found that really random, but great book!

[RightNotQuite]

When people try to get me down I just think/say 'A college of wit-crackers could not flout me of my good humour!' from Much Ado-it's so awesome that I instantly feel better :D

[mdgnys]

Wow Even 4 and a half years ago Lindsay Lohan was bad.

[the3sweetest3dreamer]

Oh how I hope that one day I will have a home library as awesome as John's!

[TrailRat2000]

I really really should get round to organizing my books and catalogue them!

[EP2504]

I love the organisation of the library... but it annoys me that the books aren't also in height order.

Oh, and I am so using these insults!

[prufrock1977]

Awesome job, bugbear! Nerd4life :)

[mayrin1112]

Tho crusty batch nature! Well thoust essence makes even the sweetest grapes sour!

[cifer169]

The first time you said "wicker basket" I thought you said "liquor basket"

[aparkinson7]

Get a kindle!!!

[MrsSnowTod]

i love Ark Angel!

[Fashionweekeveryweek]

Somebody actually called me a "gay nerd dyke", which is a compliment sandwhiched between two redundant, would-be insults. My response was "You rascally sheep biter." It was mroe confusing than insulting to them, but I congratulate myself on having quoted Twelfth Night Or What You Will.

[sharktobear]

"How art thou fishified" - Mercutio (Romeo and Juliet)

[FeastinFeaster]

I want your library!!

[vidkid42]

Foul spoken coward, that thund'rest with thy tongue, and with thy weapon nothing dares perform! This is what I say to decepticons.

[NimmoPie]

Nerds are awesome! they decrease world suck!

WHICH MEANS! You two are tied for the Worlds biggest Nerds! :)

Happy NerdFighting!

[HonorDVBLouise]

You green-sickness carrion, you baggage, you tallow face!

[16mockingbirds]

u r a nurd

[ChibiCthulluWillRule]

@vlogbrothers You are a nerd.

And that is a compliment.

[weasleyalways]

i love your library! I want a huge library one day!

[Deltamon]

Joke's on you! I like witches.

[Katiedid92]

You know, I was just re-watching the new Dr. Who series and heard a really good nerdy insult: You would make a good Dalek. Ooooo! burn!

[ohhisabellaa]

french. the. llama. thats. a. lot. of. books.

[ilovesoccer08]

sometimes i am glad they made us read shakespeare in school. (:

oh my god a home library you need to organize. i can't wait til i have my own apartment/house and enough money to have the same thing. everyone has an inner nerd ;)

[Nomoremoney12]

Thats not fair. Im pretty sure some one who doesnt make a thoughtfull insult, then you must set a handicap

[lirgonia]

i love how many books you have. now *that's* home.

[Ravenclaw742]

I love being called a nerd/geek. I consider it a compliment. I'm proud of being smart, and being obsessed with nerdy things such as Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Pokemon, Zelda, etc. :D

[nekoninja1234]

My drama teacher, being the Shakespeare fanatic that he is, printed out a sheet of Elizabethan insults used in Shakespeare, and a guide to making my own

[hi9357]

He was having WAY too much fun with that, and to be honest so was I.

[TopHatKidd]

You carcass UNFIT for hounds!

Ohhhh, snap!

[ForeverBloomingRose]

Home Library? Shakespearean insults? - you are my Nerd Hero. :D

[lilly94white]

Just decided to play this video at 2x speed :) it made me chuckle somewhat - please keep breathing John (you don't seem to breathe a lot in this) DFTBA

[fabiobean11]

you bricks you stones you less than senseless things. there is not a cave dark enough to hide your ugly visage. i love Shakespeare.

[mopbucket3000]

i'm sooo jealous!

[SuperChalek]

If the average book costs him $15, and he has 1200+ (according to sparksflyup), then he has over $18,000 worth of books in his home. I aspire to have such a library, and am jealous that I probably never will.

[musicrulesmylife123]

ever since I saw this, I've loved Shakespearian insults. We put on a Midsummer Night's Dream last summer. Needless to say, I was extrememly happy!

[Plyrx08]

In response to: "Why is being a nerd bad?"

Most insults are subjective.

[TheSkilletfan111]

...I want a nerdfighter shirt...

[Unknownboi88]

Just looked at my calibre e-book library I think that I may be able to beat that that amount of books with just the star trek ones

[athena2517]

How awkward/ sad is it going to be changing a book from living authors to dead authors? That is going to hold some major suck.

[OMGChicks1]

Right now i am somewhat jealous of little Henry, for he shall grow up with so many books to read. I wish my dad were an author.

[MeLaneyDay]

My friend got a shirt for Christmas that was filled with Shakespearean insults. And Shakespearean insult gum. Best Gift ever.

[hmol257]

Wonderful book collection overall and WIN for the successful cataloguing. Hard but important work, well worth celebrating. I couldn't help but notice the relative dearth of travel books though... I highly recommend you add "A Year in Provence" if you do not have it already. Even if you're not a big France fan, it's enjoyable and funny because it's about people. REAL people. Who do things like wear race-track suits to olive-oil tastings.

[BABYZEBRALOVE]

omg i have that dictionary. yeahhhhh go nerdfighters

[AutumnCherry]

I only have about 500 books and I'd say only 20 or so are non-fiction. Your library impresses me and leaves me in awe.

[IamYou86]

Carcass unfit for hounds. I'm gonna use that from now on.

[HeySticks]

This is the quote that Wil Wheaton was talking about! I love when I accidentally find great things.

[kaylalove506]

How many books do you have? i mean i could see if you had that many books...but there all like bad! i mean maybe if you had a good book but common....i never saw one good book....like if u didnt see any good book in there

[rback057]

Only in Nerdfighteria does the phrase "I finished cataloging my home library" precede a small burst of excited hand dancing.

[musicrulesmylife123]

I fricking love Shakespearean insults.

[obiwonkrstobi]

"Your soul is an apalling dump-heap,

Overflowing with the most disgraceful

assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,.."

Theodor Geisel, 1966

[sabbagha18]

you have to separate them with the wicker basket so they don't get mad at each other.

ROFLCOPTER

[MrsDoctorMerlin]

What about the jews man? We deserve some room on the bookself of awesome!

[haleymathiot]

oh. my. God. your library makes me want to cry.

[XbloodyXsuicideX]

I am loving the Shakespearian insults! XD

I'm using some of those next time someone calls me a nerd. XD

[XbloodyXsuicideX]

@XbloodyXsuicideX To add to my last comment...

LOVE the library. I wish I could have so many books but I can't afford them, I just live in my local library. :P

[TheShellbert]

@XbloodyXsuicideX Next time someone calls you a nerd, you should just say "Thank you!" :D

[XbloodyXsuicideX]

@TheShellbert I shall do! ;D

If nothing else, it'll confuse the hell out of them. :P

[TheShellbert]

@XbloodyXsuicideX Exactly! And that's fun all by itself lol

[ArtsyFreak467]

@TheShellbert haha I got called a nerd on facebook, i liked the comment and then posted a reply saying thank you! and it was beast

[TheShellbert]

@ArtsyFreak467 That's awesome lol. I always take nerd as a compliment. There are a lot of worse (and really stupid) insults out there lol

[FatalRibbon]

Being an international student in US, I find some of the insults people use here confusing, because in my culture people on the internet always try to prove they're intelligent and have read tons of books. One of the biggest insults is "you are illiterate" (though it makes no sense to write something to someone who is unable to read).

And people keep advising me to go out and find a girlfriend...not knowing I'm a heterosexual female art student that has to go out to sketch people everyday.

[88pixiegirl88]

"You have to seperate them with a wicker basket so they don't get mad at each other." :D

[Seikufu]

Haha, you just made me proud to be a nerd.

Except I'm not a nerd. Uh.

Yeah, people these days just call anybody who's smart a nerd. I LOL'ed so hard at the wicker basket.

[JewelrNC16]

When people flip me the bird, I bite my thumb at them and walk away.

[WritersIcyDream]

You, sir, just made my day!

[PuellaMagiMystia]

Novels about conjoined twins? I feel like you cut off the video at an inopportune time.

[MizzAidaCupcakes]

This reminded me of when I growing up and through high school, some guys would through insults that they just learnt in Arabic (native language is Swedish) at me, my friends or just around me I used to grammatically correct them since they had only learnt the word with the ending used for males and I used to say "no you say it like this if you're going to say it to a girl" and then they just sighed and called me stupid instead ^^

[InuyashaKagomae4ever]

@MizzAidaCupcakes Nice.

[h7inno]

@MizzAidaCupcakes looooooooooooool Swedes insulting eachother in arabic?!! I'm curious what did they say to u? (I'm Arabian :) )

[pigz808]

you have about the same amount of books as me! Wait... i'm 15 that cant be good...

[BurgereaterRichard]

By the way....cool library. It would be better though if the shelves were wooden. Anyways.

[dstrbdxxxprncess]

When I heard your insults, I was like wow.

[pablohthegreat]

there's no manga section in his library! ( my respect for him has just gone down)

[Alison9487]

What happens when one of the living authors dies? Do you really move their books to the dead person shelf?

[alessan]

Shakespearean insults are cool and all... Well, actually they're mostly excellent, but using someone else's pre-crafted insult feels as lacking in creativity as the generic crap rightly spurned earlier in the video.

Frankly I find it's always best to conjure something up that's actually related to the situation or person, preferably indulging in a rhyme or at least some well-rolled alliteration, but of course that can be too ideal when wanting for time.

[lawrence23513]

@alessan nearrrrrrrrrrrrd :D wow thats a lot too read xD i a dumbass 8th grader with absolutely no insults except for too my self, which i find dumb and not very bright :) danm did you have to be so danm smart with that scentence? xD :D

[MarianAlaways]

"If you were in my books, I would burn my library." That Shakespeare quotation somehow felt appropriate... Excellent library John!

[Wizalchemist56]

"You foul undigested lump" X3

[whitewashedlife]

I've bought 6 books since I've been plunged into adulthood, despite my deep love of reading. I should start a "Give Me Your Books" charity.

[SammieDoesCovers]

Get thee to a nunnery, you rump-fed runion.

[ouiseylou]

"You relative of every concievable kind of toad"-A Polish insult my mum told me"

[leeleewolfisaduck]

I'm currently reading Taming of the Shrew, and I have decided that if I ever have the urge to tell someone to go f themselves, I'm going to say "Go to thy cold bed and warm thee." instead.

[whiteout1776]

HOLY CRAP HE BLINKED!!!! 0:38

[Xubrina]

So today I was sitting in English class, and these guys were saying, "Nerds are gross. Nerds are stupid." (Which makes absolute no sense at all.) So I replied with what John said at 1:05 - 1:27, and I got sent out of class for it. Yet what I don't understand is that right before this occurred, a girl came in and started screaming vulgar terms and accused another girl of "talking shit". My teacher did nothing, yet he sent me out. What is happening to society?

[Harkz0r]

@Xubrina It's not so much a case of what is happening as much as what has already happened since a long ass time ago. That precise situation does seem a little odd though. But it doesn't surprise me at all. School is like hell for intelligent and studious young people. It's such a paradox. It gets somewhat better when you can leave and are no longer forced to keep the same, boorish company. Though it is a little lonely to think that a lot of those stereotypes don't always change that much.

[rawrrar3]

bully: YOURE A SQUAAAARE -evil laugh-....

spongebob: why thank you, and youre a circle ^.^

Bully: ....

Spongebob:by cicrle i mean a well rounded individuall ;D

[InkFlavourJelly]

Omgomgomg I love that song why is it no longer your intro?

[boxingtree]

My English teacher is full of Shakespearean insults - my favorite of which is "She is spherical, like a globe; I could find countries in her."

[jamesterkelly21]

@boxingtree that is my favourite too. as well as "I am not yet so low But that my nails can reach unto thine eyes"

[BKradley]

@boxingtree noone else is going there?.. okay I will say it... bow chika bow bow

[TheMinuteVlog]

Carcass Fit for Hounds would be a great band name.

[MKatze22]

Oh my GOD I love your library. I'm utterly jealous XD

[Tawnyfur]

I Googled furiously to find this video for the dissection of what a person is trying to sat when they call someone a nerd. ^^ I really love what you said here about insults - so true.

[VideosOfJordan]

Have you read every single one of those books?

[smokintheblaze]

I once seen a guy, who's nerdier than me, look at a guy he was pissed at, and tell him "THE STREETS SHALL RAIN WITH YOUR BLOOD" before fighting him. He even did the anime ninja run towards this guy and got decked right in the face.

[3elmolover77]

I wan a get a John Green Library card, can I do that?

[pmartucci93]

I love going back through old blog brothers videos. It's like the already awesome becomes even more awesome!

[MashaSobaka]

I work in Comp Lit and have a sizable collection of books on the language and literature of Russia, Germany, and Poland. I'm always afraid that World War II is going to restage itself on my bookshelves so I keep them separated by critical theory, miscellaneous fiction and a ceramic turtle I got in Moscow. Maybe I should also get some wicker baskets, just to be sure.

[tannerscar23]

but "you" is formal - use thou

thou art a droning elf-skined flap-dragon. I condemn thine half witted attempt at Shakespearean insults.

[DeiSkittles]

I actually had a project in my English Class when we were reading Romeo and Juliet and we had to make up Shakespearean (is that spelled right?) insults. So I basically got to call someone a pig-bellied cockroach :) It was amazing

[TheAngryGazebo]

Didn't Carcass Fit for Hounds play at Cochella?

[starlove0043]

is it just me or does he look really handsome? especially in this vid?

[jmaster1324]

I wanted to see you bite your thumb

[buzzk1llr]

TITTIES 4 EVERYONE!!!!!

[hsbpsy]

fuck u nerd

[Razmatini]

"You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!"

Hermione Granger is a Nerdfighter. o_O

[redbarron718]

A pox on thy throat you bawling, blasphemous, incharitable dog!

Thats the best one I got.

[DickyBowJoe]

thou rumpish palpalien bumbailey!

[mestickguy]

thumbs up if you have the nyan cat youtube progress bar and it came up on this video.

[XocclumencyX]

u r a nurd :D

[VeneficusSententia]

I have the same wicker basket. Cool.

[BriIsTheFinestCheese]

I constantly call people "a carcass fit for hounds" just to confuse them. so amusing.

[tardz12]

This is hilarious!

[blueisasomedancer]

I have a list of how to make shakespearian insults.

[IamIndeedLayingAnEgg]

Vlogbrothers are, like, the KING of vloggers. They're just so awesome.

[emilykearly]

Insanely jealous of your library.

[theCRAZYtwizzler]

Oh BURN!!!!!

[grouch314]

I really need to learn some of these insults. The best I could come up with was "you increase world-suck massively, squib"

[Basslinerocks18]

Does anyone else start thinking about "The Sandlot" as John slings insults at himself?

[ad4458]

Shouldn't you use "thou" before the Shakespearian insults instead of "you"?? Seems more fitting to the time...

PS Love the library! :D Mine's just stacks and stacks of books everywhere....

[MidnightTriptych]

I just got my NERD T-shirt from DFTBA :D :D my mum was like ':o i didnt know it said NERD when you ordered it? you want people to think you're a nerd?! how horrible'

D: i just said 'Yeah, but nerds kick ass :D'

[KalianaH13]

wicker basket <3!! FTW!

[markchang2]

Love the Shakespearean insults. Now after seeing you have successfully organized your library I'm off to organize mine(been meaning to). 

[ZAPdontlook]

for some reason i can't see this video. it's just black :(

[eiman52]

i want all of those books

[ObandieN3rdO]

You greensickness carrion! (Shakespearean insult)

[catharsiscricket]

wow you have TONS of books (or maybe I just don't have enough) :)

[TheAppleFan437]

67 People use lame insults

[ahintofelation]

You have no idea how jealous I am of your home library. Your home library has more books than my local library and that is a fact.

[MegMegZually]

you dont blink!

[chucktaylorsrockk]

@MegMegZually of course he doesn't. it's because he's an alien from nerdfightaria, and where he's from, they don't need to blink.....or sleep....that's what makes them really good stalkers. JK!!! but i'm not kidding about the alien part..... O_o

[sandstorm49]

I don't like the word nerd, nor do I like shakespeare's writings. Shakespeare took advantage of a time where many people were dumb to create entertainment. His words taht have been worshiped so much has little grasp on the world today. (with the exception of a few of his works)

[jamesarnesen]

OMG you are so fricking adorable!!!!!!!! :D

[skluck11]

u r a nurd

[Money101Hogs]

wicker basket! haha...

[nirvana14ish]

i want to memorize all of those insults!!

[scholar5212]

Thank you for making this video (even though it was forever ago). I was made fun of at volleyball practice today for being a nerd, and watching this video made me feel a lot better about my life.

[scrubsrox77]

Ahh, that intro. It brings back all kinds of good memories :)

[hhabbal93]

lol, "you have to separate them with a wicker basket so they don't get mad at each other."

[ToraPandoraPGS]

You forgot "You Spoony Bard!" I know it's not Shakespeare, but it doesn't make it any less awesome. :l

[BeccaAllstar]

I don't know why you can change the speed of this video, but it was quite entertaining at 1.5x speed.

[SuperChalek]

I WANT YOUR LIBRARY...IN MY PANTS. 

[infinitedork24]

"You inexecrable dog!" Oh yeah. Merchant of Venice : )

[honnabonanna]

you are just beyond awesome.

damn, i cant think of any Shakespearian compliment.

[haddy004]

Omfg, i love Shakespearean insults!!! Lul, my favorite is "You painted maypole!" from A Midsummer Night's Dream XD

[pigscanfly522]

John, you are an insignificant gastropod. (jk)

[lolroflftw1]

My insult was crafted from various works of Shakespeare, including but not limited to what I learned here. It goes like this; "You incestuous, murderous, foul, undigested lump, with an odoriferous stench." Not bad, right?

[cappanolee]

"Saying I notice you're a nerd is like saying, Hey, I notice that you that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid. That you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid. That you believe there are things more important than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?"

I love how John is so quotable. Nerdfighters for the win!

[Blackonblackcons]

Your library is awesome, why can't I have a library like that....

[nman3235]

lol :D

[msmeowbubbles]

I actually don't feel too bad about my library size, as I haven't had as many years to collect books :D

[krizziekun]

I thought my library was impressive. XD

John Green you are my new nerd - hero.

[hayhay509]

My friends and I play dice-roll-based table and board games all of the time and the worst insult we ever sling is "You rolled a one!" People outside of our circle usually respond with a confused "What?" or a swear word and we just luagh in our heads like "Ha, that one-roller."

[Jade7272]

Oh wow - that reminds me of a day back in grade 10 - where we all picked insults from various shakespere plays and said them XD

[xandycoleman]

oh wow. my library is bigger than an authors library. I feel so accomplished. I am so proud of my parent's collection...

[racerabbit93]

Shakespere: You shag-haired villain! You lilly-livered boy!...thats all i got ^^

[ApplausableGuy]

Yo' momma is so awesome that she can write a paper about the similarities between social sciences.. yup

[waredragon92]

may i sak why you have four copies of SAM I AM?

[ramsidepp]

don't forget the fight in much Ado about nothing and the fight in Romeo and Juliet. The verbal ones, not the violent ones.

[cynthiayl12]

candle waster.

[AsToldByGingahhh]

"You can express your anger by saying 'I hate you,' or 'I hope you grow hair on your palms and your breath smells permanently like vomit.'"

^^The above is from my college Intro to Communications textbook ("In the Company of Others)

[mockumentaries123]

Dude... Where's your Judaism section? I feel unloved... :(

[AsToldByGingahhh]

@mockumentaries123 I KNOW RIGHT?

[CupcaikPrincess]

I think the foul undigested lump is probably the blenderized happy meal.